Big Daddy Dispatch: March 2026 (Patreon)

Dispatch One Hundred and Five, March 5th, 2026

Greetings WHM Family!

The winter tour is in full swing! We just got back from Los Angeles and thanks to an unexpected blizzard in New York, we spent a couple more days there to boot! The show was a blast but there’s no rest for the weary as we are just about to get back on a plane and head for Minneapolis and Chicago! More on that below, but we have a really cool and totally FREE screening that we’re doing in conjunction with the Minnesota Timberwolves on Thursday March 19th! We’re going to be showing An American Werewolf in London at their practice facility and we’ll also do a meet and greet with folks that show up. Sound cool? You bet your bippy it does, so click through here to sign up for updates and GET ON THE LIST.

Speaking of fan interactions…You guys really did it to us this month. This is without a doubt one of the craziest Listener Request Month line-ups in recent memory to put it LIGHTLY. We’ve got so much stuff in the hopper, it’s kind of nuts. Also, we hope you enjoyed the inspired lunacy of “White Guy Karate” Month. More insane theme months are a comin’ we promise!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit: Four dorks at the Jaws exhibit at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures by a nice stranger they begged to snap their picture.

WINTER TOUR RAGES ON! TWO STOPS LEFT!

As stated above we’re only two weeks away from going to Minneapolis, MN to talk about Conan the Barbarian (1982) at the Varsity Theater on March 20th! We’re so stoked to talk some Arnold in a new city and also check out the Timberwolves practice facility with one of our favorite movies ever (see above)! It’s gonna be a hoot. 

Then, two days later on March 22nd, we’ll return to the great city of Chicago for a rowdy live episode on Tom Hanks’s sexual awakening in Big (1988) at the Den Theatre! This is going to be a banger of a live ep and we always slay in Chicago, so you won’t wanna miss it! 

All tickets are available here! Don’t delay and risk losing out on these shows!

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 844 – The Hunted (1995) 

“White Guy Karate” Month kicked off in spectacular fashion with this largely forgotten Christopher Lambert thriller, in which an American executive in Japan gets caught up in gangland warfare when his date for the night is violently assassinated. How erotic is Christopher Lambert on a scale of 8-10? Can Forged in Fire contestants do as good a job if the competition made you drink alcohol as you go along? Is there any way to get a movie-length version of the train sequence? We should all strive to be more like Sensei Takeda!

Episode 845 – Bloodsport (1988) (Patrons Only) 

For this month’s We Love Movies entry, the boys walked the Frank Dux path, ending up in Hong Kong with Jean-Claude Van Damme as he tries to bring fighting tournament gold back home to America. Did the real Frank Dux ever say a true thing? Can we get a few more JCVD splits for the table? Is that too much to ask? What rules are Bolo Yeung playing by as compared to everyone else? Start figuring out ways to sneak booze into hospitals now, and it will pay off down the line.

Episode 846 – Ninja: Shadow of a Tear (2013, with Brandon Streussnig)

The fellas were joined by friend of the show, Brandon Streussnig to talk about this mighty Scott Adkins sequel, in which Adkins’ titular ass-kicker must hunt down the man responsible for murdering his family. Is it required for all movie villains to learn chess? Can there really be a ninja named Casey? Just sounds off, right? How addictive are lightbulb drugs? Prepare yourself for divine battle with the WHM boys at the famous Massive Heart Attack Dojo!

Episode 847 – Replicant (2001)

Andrew, Eric, Chris, and Steve went into the vague future and entered a world where JCVD is a serial killer/arsonist with non-mullet long hair being hunted by Michael Rooker and a clone of JCVD with all the muscles but less of the competence. Why add a psychic link between the JCVDs along with everything else? What is this relationship between Rooker and his partner-wife? Is that his kid? Why don’t we make more JCVD movies into Broadway spectaculars? At least there seems to be a happy ending for the clone and the sex worker he met.

Episode 848 – Out for Justice (1991)

To round out “White Guy Karate” Month, the gang returned to the land of Steven Seagal as he attempts to stop William Forsyth’s killing (and acting!) spree across early-90s New York City. Wait, is Jerry Orbach only in this for like two scenes? Can someone stop by and get this poor dog out of this maniac’s car? Will anyone explain Seagal’s wardrobe decisions in this movie for us? Anyone? Has the FuckBurger franchise made it to your town yet? If not, we’ll tell you how to get one where you live.

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies-related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: 

First off, the vast majority of my February screening time was dedicated to obsessively watching the Olympics and then dipping back into my Star Trek: Voyager rewatch. The Olympics were wild, and I consumed hours of it. With Voyager, I’m into season five and things are rocking and rolling. Tons of great stuff with Seven of Nine and Doctor-centric episodes. Jeri Ryan and Robert Picardo are fantastic on this show and it’s obvious why each of their characters stand out in their respective spin-off appearances (Picard and Starfleet Academy, respectively.) Okay, some movies and TV:The Best Summer (2026): Caught this out of Sundance and it’s totally great. A diary film, edited together by Tamra Davis from her own personal footage shot back in the mid-90s when she went on tour with the Beastie Boys (she was still married to Mike D. at the time, they’re now separated but not divorced) and along for the ride were acts like Sonic Youth, Foo Fighters, Pavement, Rancid, Beck, The Amps, and Bikini Kill. Tons of fantastic concert footage and backstage access. Something for Real Heads only, but totally worth it if you are, I loved it.Psycho Killer (2026): Genuinely bad, but I’m in the camp of Fun-Bad. It’s absolutely wild that this is the same writer as Se7en, but here we are. The third act is a huge head-scratcher. I was hootin’ and hollerin’ through a lot of this. Extra half star for a Malcolm McDowell satanic orgy that lasts all of 15 seconds. Easily one of the dumbest slasher killers of the modern era— dude looks like Kabal from Mortal Kombat III and sounds like he’s using Kevin McCallister’s TalkBoy.Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (2026): Really glad to see Gore Verbinski out of Movie Jail. While I don’t think this entirely sticks the landing, I had a ton of fun with 2/3 of it. Sam Rockwell commands the screen and gives a really engaging and wild performance. He completely controls the movie and your attention for the first 20 minutes straight. Dude can jaw, and I mean that as a compliment— he could just keep on talking and I’d happily keep listening. Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025): Missed this at last year’s SXSW and TIFF, but finally caught this out in Los Angeles and it’s easily the hardest I’ve laughed in a theater since The Naked Gun last year. I was completely unfamiliar with the show before hearing about the movie, but luckily our friends Josh and Jamie from the Sleazoids Podcast filled me in as they prepared to see it at TIFF. But, even without seeing a minute of the show I was totally engaged in the film and able to follow what they were doing. Matt Johnson’s reaction to the people laughing in the movie theater is one of the absolute funniest thing I’ll ever see in my life. I strongly urge folks to check out this tiny, hilarious, completely charming comedy.The Traitors (U.S.) (2026): I absolutely abhor 99.9999% of reality television, however this show is fun as fuck and watching all these reality TV ‘personalities’, along with a few decent folks in there as well, become all paranoid about one another is totally delightful. Alan Cumming holds the whole thing together as a fabulous host who totally gets the assignment in this role. Btw, justice for Ron Funches. Those idiots were just not ready for such a kind, caring person to be on a show like that.  

Chris: 

Blades of the Guardians (2026): Where so many action directors have grown dull and unexcited by the possibilities of their chosen medium, Yuen Woo-Ping has remained as exhilarating, curious, and casually efficient as he’s always been. Sure, there’s a lot more computer work visible in this banger than in the master’s startling early work with Jackie Chan or his masterpiece, The Miracle Fighters, but Yuen never allows that to become distracting. Centered on a bumpy escort mission led by the second most wanted fugitive in the land, who happens to be transporting the most wanted fugitive in the land, the movie remains anchored to brave acts of oft-waning faith and physical wonder, forever enamored with what the human body can do. There’s no way the film’s best sequence – an all-out brawl between different warring factions that goes down during a sand storm – would be as concise as it is without computers, but it also would not be even half as stunning if the filmmaker behind it all wasn’t as familiar with how human bodies move and react to all sorts of peril as Yuen Woo-Ping is. I hope he makes 100 more movies, but if this does happen to be his last, it’d be a worthy capstone to a massive career.The Wrecking Crew (2026): A Jason Momoa Meets Dave Bautista action movie should have been a slam dunk, and by that, I mean at least enjoyably serviceable. Yeah, they both have limitations as performers but what they both do well is act charming while kicking ass and taking names. Sadly, the film was penned by Jonathan Tropper, the man behind Ryan Reynolds’ weeper The Adam Project and the “dark” family drama This is Where I Leave You, and there’s not much to be done about that unless you just gut the thing, which it does not seem they did. Indeed, the film becomes more about boring familial reconciliation than just simple, brawny action beats. A missed opportunity overall.Wuthering Heights (2026): Written by someone who is largely uninterested in Brontë’s book aside from the perverse romance at the center, and even that is up for grabs. As with all Fennell productions, it’s so much more boring than most reviews make it out to be, but at least here, the wardrobe and the sets are far more intriguing and eye-catching than what was being aggressively chucked at my pupils in Promising Young Woman and Saltburn. On those merits alone, it would have to count as my favorite Fennell film thus far in a walk.                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Eric:

Macho Man (1985): Kraut Fu. That's right, West Germany made an action film and it's got just as much mullets and sleaze as any American movie. It's about a boxer who saves a lady from being forcefully injected with heroin by a street gang. They then date. We see her boobers. He meets a karate guy. We have boxing / martial arts fights in Nuremberg. "Hi-Ja!", indeed.Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie (2025): Went in completely blind and was waiting to think it was so overhyped, but no, it's great. A new Wayne's World.

Psycho Killer (2026): I gave this 2 stars upon seeing it but I think I might give it 3 on a rewatch. It's slow, lumbrous, but I think it's pretty funny and has a good enough premise. Felt like it was meant to be streamed on Shudder at 1 AM instead of me sitting through 40 minutes of AMC Theaters commercials and trailers. Again, not good, but not worthy of its 0% Rotten Tomatoes infamy. Days of Thunder (1990): Felt like I always assumed I had seen this but had not. It's pretty solid. Top Gun with cars. Great cast. I love Michael Rooker as Tom Cruise's competition here, and also, of course, Cary Elwes. Robert Duvall turns in a sweet old guy performance. Pour one out for him and Tony Scott.One Hour Photo (2002): I liked this when it came out. It always clawed at me to go back and I am glad I did. I flat out loved it this go. Real Taxi Driver level Cinema of Loneliness shit, which is a compliment. I think when it came out I found Romanek's direction a bit alienating and distant which I now know was the point. If you're looking to go back to dramatic Robin Williams you can do no better. Love on a Leash (2011): Lady can't find a date, so she starts dating her dog, who turns into a man at night, you understand. Deranged. Disturbed. Everyone involved should be locked up. Check it out. Star Knight (1985): Harvey Keitel plays a medieval knight tasked with defeating a dragon and saving the princess. Only problem is that the dragon is actually a spaceship and the princess wants to bone the alien. Klaus Kinski plays the King's alchemist who attempts to decipher the aliens’ armor and ways. Very weird. Well done, Spain.

Steve: 

F1: The Movie (2025): I’m sorry folks, this is trash. Admittedly watching this on the headrest of the dude in front of me on my United flight is likely not how Kosinski intended, but lordy is this a total snooze. Aside from Kerry Condon being excellent and keeping up the good fight for women her age to be allowed in movies, there’s nothing here. Just a dad fantasy of being 50-something and always right and always great! At every turn! Which robs the scenes of Brad Pitt talking down to Damon Idris at every turn of any kind of pop, because, of course he’s right. As Kosinski is a Cruise guy, I’ll describe it in Cruise terms: It’s like Color Of Money meets Days of Thunder if both movies totally sucked. 

Crime 101 (2026): Hey, I kinda liked it! Pretty good dadfernoon fare with a fun cast, though I feel like Chris Hemsworth isn’t in the right movie here and that’s a bit of a problem. There’s some truly fun sequences here and I was surprised how much I liked it until the last twenty minutes shit the bed, so…take that for what it’s worth. Better than advertised! Also, Crime 101 refers to crimes on the 101 Freeway, NOT a School for Crime, which I 100% assumed was the case when I bought my ticket. Better movie, imho.

Nadja (1995): When I was in Los Angeles I was kind of in the mood for some cool vampire content (see below for the inspiration) and I caught this in 4K at Vidiots and man, was this such a fun trip. Just a great ‘90s indie slow burn with a sense of humor about itself and some gorgeous photography, and those pixelvision sequences are trippy and cool! Probably not everybody’s cup of tea, but it really worked for me. An extra star for Peter Fonda just whipping through every scene like a bat out of hell as a drunken Van Helsing.

“Coffin Moon” by Keith Rosson (2025): I really loved Keith Rosson’s zombie apocalypse duology “Fever House” & “The Devil By Name,” and I’d been saving his new vampire book for a long trip and it really delivered. Like “Fever House,” he takes an established mythos and reinvigorates it with a punk sensibility, which is humanistic, violent as hell, genuinely scary and just…really cool. The set-up here is a Vietnam vet in 1970’s Portland runs afoul of a vampire while tending bar and his life is never the same. It’s a book to be devoured, with real surprises and characters you miss when it’s gone. 

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUNDHere's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly.

This month's entry comes from Seth from Salt Lake City, who asks:

“Are there any movies that have drastically changed your opinion/letterboxd score on a second watch?” 

Andrew: I’ll toss out two. When I was a kid, had Letterboxd existed, I easily would’ve rated Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) like two, two-and-a-half stars, tops. These days? With time, age and wisdom at my back? It’s a five-star affair, no doubt. Love it to pieces, weirdo warts and all. Similarly, had Letterboxd existed back when I saw it in-theaters in the fall of 2007, Southland Tales would’ve been a one-star rating for sure. I was enraged at that film for years until finally, after Chris Cabin’s insistence that it was a good movie, in July of 2022 I finally revisited the film since that first screening and BOOM, four-and-a-half-star rating. Time’s a weird thing.

Chris: There were always a few Tony Scott movies that I loved before I did a full rewatch and became a devoted fan of the man’s ever-advancing style. Crimson Tide, Enemy of the State, and Unstoppable were always slam dunks for me and in the case of the last one, which would end up being his final film, remains one of the best entries in a sterling catalog of American action films. The one that really bloomed for me on second watch is Man on Fire, Scott’s searing remake of Élie Chouraqui’s 1987 French procedural. At first glance, it’s easy enough to dismiss as a flashy, agreeably violent one-man-army type of actioner, a vengeance tale released not long after America had fashioned itself as a country out for revenge. What I missed was the immense pain that Denzel brings to the role, how methodical and detailed Scott is with his set-pieces and his big dialogue scenes. It is not as bold and heart-sick as Déjà Vu, but Man on Fire is similarly centered on a man left alone in an ocean of his own memories that he no longer has any need for and yet is depleted of nearly everything else that makes him human. In both of these cases as well as a few other Scott rediscoveries, I missed how heartbroken these men and these movies are.

Eric: Assuming everyone will say Southland Tales, but I have yet to go back to it... I should as soon as sandwichly possible. I'm a bit of a sucker when it comes to Star Wars, which should be no surprise. I liked The Phantom Menace the first day it came out really just because it was "more Star Wars" and I was 16. Well, I'll have you know, I went back to watch that The Phantom Menace again and hated it. Then we did it on the show and I was like, damn, that's terrible. Few years went by and we got a lot "more Star Wars" and I went back recently, as you might hear on our REDUX episode, and you know what? I kinda like it. It's full of problems, of course, but I believe there are 3 worse Star Wars movies. Contact me in the local newspaper want ads using a code and cipher to keep this conversation going. 

Steve: Honestly? I think I saw Hellraiser for the first time a decade ago and was like, “OK, cool spooky movie! Little intense, but fine” Then on the second and third watches in the intervening years it truly gets a full star better every time. There’s something about the pitch black march to Hell that Frank goes through, and the literal hell he puts his family through on the way, that is so compelling to watch. It’s not a fun watch at all, but somehow Barker’s overall horniness keeps the bleak subject matter from veering into misrerabilist faire. 

MARCH SCHEDULE

Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out for March:

Free Feed:

March 3rd  – The Country Bears  (2002)

March 10th  – Supernova (2000)

March 17th – The Boondock Saints (1999)

March 18th – BONUS! WLM on Joy Ride (2001) with Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett of Radio Silence that will be released on the free feed AND commercial-free on Patreon for supporters at the $5 tier & up! 

March 24th – White Noise: The Light  (2007)

March 31st – In Time (2011)

Patreon Episodes:

March 5th – We Love Movies: Clerks (1994)

March 12th –  MELR0210: Melrose Place: “They Shoot Mothers, Don’t They?” (s3, e17)

March 17th  at 8pm EST – WHM After Dark: Come with your questions at the ready and spend an hour hanging out with the gang!

March 19th – Animation Damnation: Delicious in Dungeon:  “Hot Pot/Tart” (s1, e1)

March 20th – The Gleep Glossary: Tenn Graneet

March 26th  – The Nexus: Deep Space Nine: “Duet”(s1, e19) TNG: “The Inner Light” (s5,e25)

PATREON RSS BUGIf you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

Next Friday, March 13th, we'll be celebrating the high holiday in style by releasing the previously unavailable Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter virtual live show for purchase on our Patreon shop! This was such a fun show and it'll be awesome to revisit or experience for the first time as you get to talk us gab about (one of) the best entries in the Friday the 13th canon! You get a new introduction recorded by us, the show from that night, and an audio file of the whole thing so you can enjoy the show again on the go!

You’re keeping up with our Youtube channel, right? If you are the Mailbag  RETURNS this Monday at Noon with a live afternoon show! It’s gonna be so much fun!  We’ll also have some more stuff planned so subscribe to never miss a broadcast! And be sure to get them letters in by noon/et on Sunday, March 8 -- send them to weallhatemovies@gmail.com! 

We also have all officially sanctioned VHS Trailer Game episodes up to this point. Eric has also put out great clip packages like WTF Exorcism with Marc Merrin, Dr. Loomis is the Worst Doctor, Dilf Den, George Bailey as Michael Meyers,John Wick-Mentary,  Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David!Muppet Hitchcock Presents, and many more! You can also watch the entirety of our Witchboardepisode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Rampage (2018),Any Which Way You Can,Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Saw III. Like we said above, these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already!

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our new and improved merch store on Dashery! We have some new, super fun designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Total Recall Live show logo, a pair of vaguely gross ones like “Hot Out the Hole” and “The Coin Slot” and the Barbarian Scaredycats design! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill!  There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you on the road! 

Take it easy,Andrew, Chris, Eric, and SteveWe Hate Movies