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Episode #863: First Knight (1995) (Patreon)

Published:
2026-05-12 04:00:06
Imported:
2026-05
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“Richard Gere is too handsome to fight with a helmet on!” - Andrew

On this week’s show, we’re chatting about the super-sexy, Arthurian blockbuster, First Knight!

How incredible and unsettling is Gere’s wig? Why is every character in this movie way too clean? Did Malagant’s broke down palace have an actual bottomless pit? How great is Ben Cross in this movie? And do these Knights of the Roundtable outfits look like something a Klingon would wear? PLUS: Sean Connery’s favorite movie of 2005 was definitely Robert Rodriguez’s Shin Shity!

First Knight stars Sean Connery, Richard Gere, Julia Ormond, Liam Cunningham, Christopher Villiers, Ralph Ineson, John Gielgud, and Ben Cross as Malagant; directed by Jerry Zucker.

Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!

We hope you are enjoying AD-FREE WHM! Thanks so much for being the kick-ass Patreon subscriber that you are. Your support keeps the lights on around the old clubhouse and keeps us on the air. We know you have a lot of options for podcast enjoyment and we're stoked you chose to spend some time with us!

Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!

Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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Comments

Tyler The Destroyer

I’m halfway through the movie right now and wondering why Its a we hate movies and not a we love movies Will, update when the movie is over lol

Paul

“You’re the first knight now dog.” -Connery

johnny stocker

It is horseshit that thing was PG 13. That Malignant dude needed his head chopped CLEAN OFF by Gere at the end.

jribs

I think Canadien Bacon is a secret masterpiece

Luke Gordnier

“No but it has John candy in it” is the perfect review of Canadian bacon.

Busiris

Huge fan of Steve's idea for guessing the top five movies on Letterboxd for specific actors. Lot of fun! Too bad Remake-ril is over because that Richard Gere Hachi movie (I haven't seen) is a remake of a 1987 non-fiction movie about the dog Hachiko (I have seen). It's a genuine tear-jerker. If the end of the Futurama episode about Fry's dog made you cry, the true story of Hachiko will definitely get you as it was partially the inspiration for that episode.

James

Was hoping Eric was going to read the opening scroll for this movie and I wasn’t disappointed.

Winson Paine

I like Gere in a lot of things but he is bowling shoe ugly as a Lancelot. Paul Giamatti would have been more convincing

johnny stocker

Somebody briefly mentions Strange Brew as well, which I caught in the last 6 months and held up shockingly well for me. Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas are hilarious, and Max von Sydow rules as an evil beermaker trying to take over the world. He's almost doing full on mustache twirling there.

Eren Keskin

Gere's tongue is like all the way out before he even reaches across the room to kiss Julia Ormond.

Matt

"Sir a second Arthur has hit the Round Table"

Charles Grodin's Toupee is Scared Stupid

Connery played a better Arthur in Prince of Thieves with a minute of screen time. Here he is just a petty little bitch who dresses like Cancellor Valorum.

Dennis Stack

Would you like some suckling cock, BERSERKER?

Rose Esposito

I got 3/5 on the Top Gere [lol] movies. I really thought Unfaithful would make it, as that was an, um, eye-opening experience for many a cinephile millennial, but alas.

Kevin Lynch

If you’re gonna make me watch a King Arthur movie it better have either a killer rabbit or Helen Mirren otherwise don’t bother

James C Harris

I actually watched Excalibur a few days ago. First Knight is no Excalibur

MarkNM

Hachi Machi!

MarkNM

It most certainly is nawt.

Tim O'

Excalibur is a perfect example of the genre "This isn't a great movie, but I'm having a great time watching it"

James C Harris

Bite your tongue sir! Excalibur is the best Arthurian lore movie

Frank Grimes

I never saw this. Much as I can enjoy an Arthur tale for my born in 1983 ass it’ll never get better than Monty Python and that cartoon from 1992 where Merlin brings a modern day football team back in time to fill in for the real King Arthur and the knights who are trapped in a realm by Morgana. I had a couple of the toys.

Frank Grimes

My favorite part of Strange Brew is the bit with the dog dropping the beer cans off the roof and then you see not at all a fake dog shimmy away like someone is pulling him with a rope.

Felipe Sobreiro

Ben Cross is not on Benedetta, I think Stephen is thinking of similarly-faced Lambert Wilson (who played The Merovingian in the Matrix sequels)

Catboyslim

Pile of hot garbage this movie is

Rod

Damn I got this confused with Black Knight and watched the wrong movie

TJ Guiney

it's okay to like an erotic burp

Smaug

Idk if I've ever seen a movie that felt like it was more aggressively made for stay at home moms of the 90s. The corny Peter Pan adventure music...woof, I 100% believe Goldsmith rushed this score out in a weekend.

Smaug

I'm halfway through and I don't know if I've ever seen a movie that was more aggressively made for stay at home moms of the 90s

Jason

Wishing Steve and Andrew a very merry "Bing Bong."

Dave S

Since u tossed it around, putting ads on a very specific amount of shows to a very specific area is gauche, as Andrew has tossed around.... paying like 18 a month for it dont want your tour ads esp since barely anyone can attend! I don't give a shit about NY shows.. im in Toronto we arent happy with yall advertising US dates to us paying customers in Canada sucks a lot bc we arent coming

Sonya Ballantyne

As a Bluey fan, the Bluey joke had me cackling.

We Hate Movies

Yup, sounds like they're both SKIPS for me! - Andrew

We Hate Movies

Hey Dave, there's always the fast-forward button, man. Takes half a second for your thumb to push it and move on. Not sure why this has you so steamed. We have to promote our work and this is one of the easiest ways for us to do it. Sorry it bothers you so much, but it is what it is. Would you prefer we fold up shop entirely? Thanks for listening! - Andrew

Busiris

Andrew, even just browsing Hachiko's wiki page could make me a blubbering mess, those movies might destroy you!

Craig

Do you not think the people who pay for Patreon might also be the people most likely to attend the live shows? If they’re not hearing about them via this feed, where else will they hear about them? Personally I never listen to the free feed anymore. (And I’m in Australia, so the live shows ads have even less relevance to me!)

Craig

I watched it so many times as a kid and thought it was awesome (and rude!). I think it might now be my WLM entry for LRM next year.

Craig

“Shin Shitty” made me laugh every time is was said.

Emil Svensson

First thing I thought when I read the episode title.

Trev Herron

This movie drags ass but there's something weirdly cozy about these corny 80's and 90's medieval movies for some reason, possibly because it's just nice seeing a big contiguous set-piece that's actually physically real.