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On this edition of our Lifetime (and Lifetime-adjacent) Movie recap show, we're chatting about the fairly embarrassing holiday romantic fantasy, A Very Nutty Christmas! 

Does anyone who celebrates Christmas give this much of a shit about Nutcrackers? How did Melissa Joan Hart's Kate land the cookie contracts (?) for TWO branches of the U.S. military? Did this woman get dumped over her cookies obsession? Is this sentient Nutcracker... fully functional? Is the Nutcracker from a whole Christmas-y Nutcracker world, or just Germany? Why does Kate not, ya know, freak out when she wakes up to a strange man dressed up as a Nutcracker sleeping on her living room floor? And who dresses up for a small-town Christmas dance like they're going to a royal coronation? 

A Very Nutty Christmas stars Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Rizwan Manji, Conchata Ferrell, and Richard Riehle as Drosselmeyer; directed by Colin Theys.

Once In A Lifetime is a bi-monthly (every-other month) WHM podcast where the gang watches some outrageous Lifetime (and Lifetime-adjacent) movies and attempts to sift through the madness within.Thanks so much for supporting We Hate Movies on Patreon! We know you have a lot of podcast-related listening options and we're grateful you chose to spend some time with us. Please be sure to spread the word! Your support is what keeps this train moving!Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro

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Frank Grimes

title makes it sound like an Eddie Murphy Nutty Professor Xmas movie

MarkNM

The "bad" boyfriend should have been the town pest exterminator. Mouse King. Cmon movie!

Z

I still remember watching Entertainment Tonight back when Teaching Mrs. Tingle was about to come out, and there was story after story about how that movie was supposedly going to be this lightning rod of controversy b/c it came out shortly after Columbine. I suspect the studio was planting those stories because that film flopped so hard on release, and no one talked about it since. Decades later, for reasons that can only be attributed to my 11-year-old impressionable brain, it's still the first film that comes to mind when I think of Helen Mirren.

Mike Kling

There's one more Stalked by my Doctor.

Daryl Williams

Was it just me but did anyone think Johnathan (the male cookie employee) was gay until he shows up at the end with his female coworker in the matching Christmas pajamas?

Robert Denby

lol that Eddie Murphy is starring in a Christmas film this year, and wow can you tell a lot of it has been reshot and recut.

Ray

This movies impossible to watch unless I buy it on Amazon and I'm really not sure I want that in my life permanently 😂

RJ Cunningham

Wait what in the Sam hill? Didn’t realize I wasn’t on this tier already *tosses 2 bucks your way*

RJ Cunningham

It’s free on the lifetime channel and can be watched if you have xfinity….someone told me

RJ Cunningham

*one dollar, a quarter, 4 dimes, and 7 nickels

Jason

Steve’s introduction as failed CW actor makes think he’d be Mister Mxyzptlk in all those Arrow shows.

Sergio Rozo

This movie gave me the vibe, someone at life time was watching childs play followed by the nut cracker and came up with this. Also the nut jokes are always welcomed🤣🤣🤣

Matt

better movie

Jason Reagan

I expected a "My NERTZ" gag :)

Adam Sweeney

The screenwriters of this movie are a married couple and the wife TEACHES SCREENWRITING at the college I graduated from. Yikes.

Chess on Ice

I'll have to let the director know you got to one of his movies! I used to curl with Colin - a great guy who, as you said, has made something of a career as a cable TV movie director and always shared great stories from his sets (he worked with such luminaries as Roddy Piper and Tom Sizemore). Sadly, he doesn't curl anymore as he's usually working on something.

D Arthur

I have a weakness for any B-movie “starring” a late 90’s heartthrob like this movie and Mistletoe Mixup starring all 3 Lawrence Bros…WHM please consider a Hallmark Holiday movies month, you’ll save marriages 😂