[Modern Family] Ch: 136 [Shopping Bags and Chocolate Cravings] (Patreon)

The alarm went off at eight-thirty the next morning.

Haley reached out from beneath the blankets, fumbled around the bedside table, and managed to silence it without opening her eyes. For several seconds, she seriously considered going back to sleep.

Then she remembered her promise.

She bolted upright so fast that Jack, who had been dead asleep beside her, cracked one eye open.

“We’re going shopping.”

Jack squinted toward the nightstand. “Morning to you too, babe. What time is it?”

“Shopping time. We’ve been in Switzerland for four days, Jack, and I have bought basically nothing. Do you know how off-brand that is for me?”

“You bought those little ornaments.”

“Four ornaments, Jack. My suitcases aren’t even full. If I come back from Europe without having to sit on my luggage to zip it, people are going to think I was kidnapped.”

He pulled the duvet higher over his shoulder, burying his face back into the pillow. “Thank God. The Swiss economy was really hanging by a thread there.”

Haley whacked him with a pillow before climbing out of bed.

By ten, they were dressed and heading down into Gstaad. Haley wore a cream wool coat over a sweater dress, warm boots, and a fleece-lined knit beanie Jack had picked up for her at the hotel shop. Jack was in jeans, a dark overcoat, and a scarf, complete with a pair of sunglasses that were entirely unnecessary under the gray December sky.

Their driver dropped them near the edge of the pedestrian village, where dark timber chalets lined narrow streets strung with warm white Christmas lights. Fresh snow sat thick on the pitched rooftops, and the glowing shop windows were packed with everything from five-figure watches to hand-carved wooden toys.

Haley didn’t even make it ten steps before stopping dead in her tracks.

“Okay, wait. Why is everything here so cute?”

Jack followed her gaze toward a designer boutique displaying shearling coats and structured leather handbags in the window. “And there goes my morning.”

Haley looped her arm through his and tugged him forward. “Come on, don’t be dramatic. We have actual Christmas shopping to do.”

Their first stop was a high-end knitwear boutique, where Haley spent twenty minutes making laps around the display tables, running her hands over stacks of cashmere and wool. She picked out a slate-gray cashmere wrap for Claire, then pulled a deep crimson maternity cardigan off a rack for Gloria.

“Wait, look at this,” Haley said, holding the red cardigan up against her chest. “Gloria is going to look so good in this. And feel how soft it is... she won’t even be able to complain that it’s scratchy.”

Jack flipped the sleeve tag over, eyebrows lifting slightly at the price. “I’m pretty sure at this price point, it’s legally not allowed to itch. Besides, when has Gloria ever complained about designer clothes?”

“Uh, always? Remember that coat Jay got her last winter? She took one look at the gold buttons and said he was trying to dress her like a hotel doorman.”

Jack winced slightly, remembering how loud that particular family dinner had gotten. “Okay, yeah. Fair point.”

Next, they found a heavyweight silk scarf in a deep cobalt pattern that Haley immediately claimed for Jack's mother.

Jack rubbed the fabric between his fingers. “Mom’s definitely going to like this. You know she’s going to interrogate you about the designer the second she opens it, right?”

“I’ll just tell her I found it in a tiny little boutique in the Alps,” Haley said, folding it neatly over her arm.

“She designs clothes for a living, sweetheart. She’s going to read the label.”

“Let me have my moment, Jack. If I sound worldly and mysterious for five seconds before she checks the tag, that’s a win for me.”

They shopped for every family member and for themselves.

By the time they finally stepped back out into the cold, Jack had six glossy shopping bags hooked over his wrist, which somehow included two oversized sweaters Haley had thrown onto the counter at the last second.

“Remind me,” Jack said as they walked back out onto the snowy street, “weren’t we supposed to be shopping for the family?”

“We are,” Haley said without missing a beat, adjusting her beanie. “And last time I checked, I’m part of the family. Actually, I’m your favorite part, so really, you should be thanking me for making sure I’m taken care of.”

Jack just shook his head, accepting the logic with the practiced patience of a man who knew he was never going to win that argument anyway. 

Their next stop was a shop selling watches, handcrafted accessories, and small mechanical gifts.

Haley found a wooden music box with a miniature train moving around a snowy village. She wound it once, watched the train circle the tiny houses, and immediately pointed at Jack.

“Dad's gonna love it," She said.

Jack leaned closer to inspect it. “Yeah, he's gonna love it.”

“He's going to spend Christmas showing everybody how it works.”

“And then he'll take it apart to see whether he can make the train go faster.”

Haley nodded. “Exactly. We're getting it.”

They picked out a leather-bound notebook and fountain pen for Manny, a cozy wool scarf for Jay, and an intricate mechanical puzzle for Alex.

Jack turned the puzzle box over in his hands. “Do you think she'll like it?”

“Are you kidding?" Haley said. "She'll solve it in eight minutes and then explain why the design is inefficient.”

“Sounds perfect,” He agreed. "Let's find something for my dad and Luke."

They found the answer in a velvet-lined display case near the back: a complete Swiss fountain pen set for Richard, resting in a lacquered wooden box with interchangeable gold nibs and two heavy glass inkwells.

Luke, however, proved way harder to shop for.

Haley vetoed three different gadget gifts because they looked too babyish, while Jack immediately shut down a genuine Swiss Army knife the second he pictured Claire’s face on Christmas morning.

It wasn't until they ducked into a multi-story toy shop a few doors down that Jack spotted a massive box sitting on the top display shelf. It was a giant, collector's-edition LEGO Death Star that had only come out two weeks ago.

Jack pointed up at it. “That’s the one.”

Haley stared at the sheer size of the box, which looked like it weighed twenty pounds. “Three thousand pieces? Jack, Luke doesn’t have the attention span for a thirty-piece puzzle. He’s going to give up in ten minutes and use the grey bricks to build a catapult.”

“Probably,” Jack agreed as a shop clerk helped him wrestle the box down. “Or he and your dad will team up, lose the instruction manual, and somehow launch it off the second-floor landing.”

Haley sighed, though she was smiling. “Great. Can’t wait to step on a tiny plastic laser cannon in my bare feet.”

At a smaller boutique farther down the promenade, they picked up a hand-painted snow globe with a miniature mountain chalet inside for Cam, and a sleek monogrammed leather travel organizer for Mitchell.

Right by the register, Haley spotted a small, hand-carved wooden swan and immediately added it to their growing mountain of purchases.

“For Lily,” she explained, tapping the little wooden beak. “She still asks about the swans from the wedding every time she sees us.”

Jack eyed the carving as he reached for his wallet. “Definitely easier to get through customs than a real one.”

“Don't even joke. Cam would find a way to put it in their backyard.”

They also bought a blue cat toy for Larry and a small bag of dog treats for Stella.

By the time they reached the cashier, Haley was looking at the counter with growing concern. “Okay, we might have a luggage problem.”

Jack glanced at the impressive collection of purchases. “You think?”

“We still have to buy gifts for Emma, Dakota, Willa, and Elle.”

“And we have two weeks left.”

Haley looked up hopefully. “Can we ship everything home?”

Jack nodded. “Already asked the concierge about it.”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “This is why I married you.”

“I thought it was my charming personality.”

“That too. You're useful in several ways.”

They continued shopping until nearly one, picking out delicate jewelry, winter accessories, and small gifts for their friends. Jack also found matching knitted hats for the twins, one with a tiny white pom-pom and the other with a brown one.

He held them up for Haley.

“What do you think?”

Haley took one, running her thumb over the soft wool.

“They're so tiny.”

“Hopefully they'll fit next winter.”

She looked from one hat to the other and then at her stomach. “Our babies are going to have little heads.”

Jack laughed. “That's generally how babies work.”

“I know, but seeing actual baby hats makes it so real.”

She placed both hats carefully in the shopping basket.

By the time they finally stopped for lunch, Haley's feet were beginning to ache, and Jack had decided they were personally responsible for keeping several Gstaad businesses profitable. So, after putting everything in their car, they found a cozy restaurant with wooden walls, checked tablecloths, and windows overlooking the snowy street.

Haley settled into her chair and immediately reached for the menu.

After asking the waiter about the ingredients and making sure the cheese was pasteurized, she ordered a serving of rösti topped with melted cheese and vegetables. Jack chose a hearty meat dish with potatoes, along with a bowl of soup they could share.

Haley took one bite of her rösti and closed her eyes.

“Oh, that's good.”

Jack looked at his own plate. “Want to try mine?”

She was already reaching across the table with her fork. “I was hoping you'd ask.”

Within ten minutes, she'd sampled nearly everything he'd ordered and announced that Swiss food might be her new favorite cuisine.

Jack watched her reach for another potato.

“Should I just order a second lunch?”

Haley gave him an offended look. “I'm growing two human beings. You're supposed to support me.”

“I do support you. Financially, emotionally, and through unlimited potatoes.”

She pointed her fork at him. “Good husband.”

They took their time eating, talking about Christmas plans and what they wanted to do when they returned home.

Haley was particularly excited about decorating their house for their first Christmas as a married couple.

“We need a huge tree,” she decided. “Like, really huge.”

“How huge?”

“Tall enough that you need a ladder to put the star on top.”

After lunch, they spent the afternoon exploring the village.

They wandered past traditional wooden chalets, stopped near the little church, and followed a cleared walking path where the mountains rose beyond the rooftops. Christmas decorations hung from balconies, and the occasional horse-drawn carriage passed along the road.

Haley insisted on taking photographs everywhere.

She made Jack stand beside a decorated tree, beneath a hanging wooden sign, and in front of a particularly beautiful chalet.

Eventually, Jack took her phone.

“My turn.”

He photographed her standing against the snowy mountain backdrop, one hand resting over her growing belly.

Haley examined the picture and smiled.

“Okay, that's actually really cute.”

“I'm a professional in front of cameras.”

“Being in movies doesn't mean you're a photographer.”

“Apparently I'm talented in several departments.”

They sent a few pictures to the family group chat.

Phil replied almost immediately: PILL DADDY THUNDER APPROVES OF THE ALPINE ADVENTURE.

Claire followed with a much more practical message reminding Haley to wear warm shoes, take breaks, and drink plenty of water.

Haley showed Jack the screen.

“Mom somehow manages to parent me internationally.”

Jack slipped an arm around her shoulders. “She's going to be doing that when we're forty.”

“Probably.”

They stopped for a while beside a viewpoint overlooking the village. Haley leaned against Jack as he wrapped his arms around her, and together they watched the mountains beneath the pale winter sky.

For once, neither of them reached for a phone.

Then Haley spoke.

“I need chocolate.”

Jack looked down at her. “We had dessert at lunch.”

“That was hours ago.”

“It was forty-five minutes ago.”

“Jack, I'm pregnant. Time works differently for me.”

He checked his watch. “What kind of chocolate do you want?”

Haley thought about it seriously. “Something creamy. And something dark. Maybe chocolate with hazelnuts. Actually, I want hot chocolate too.”

Jack nodded. “Alright. Let's find some.”

They discovered a chocolatier a short walk away, its windows filled with neatly arranged truffles, pralines, and decorative boxes tied with ribbons.

The moment Haley entered, she looked like she'd found heaven. She examined nearly every display before choosing a selection of milk chocolates, dark chocolate truffles, hazelnut pralines, and chocolate-covered biscuits.

Jack watched the growing order.

“Are those all for you?”

“No, obviously. Some are gifts.”

He glanced toward a particularly large box she'd placed beside her handbag. “And that one?”

“Emergency chocolate.”

“What kind of emergency?”

Haley looked at him with complete seriousness. “Running out of chocolate.”

Jack decided there wasn't much point arguing.

They bought several gift boxes for their families, along with a generous assortment for themselves. Haley also ordered hot chocolate, which she insisted on drinking before they left.

After the first sip, she stopped talking.

Jack waited patiently.

Haley lowered the cup and looked at him. “Jack, we need to move here.”

He laughed. “Because of the hot chocolate?”

“Because of everything. The mountains, the snow, the shopping, the chocolate. Mostly the chocolate.”

He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I'll consider it after the kids complete college."

By late afternoon, they returned to The Alpina Gstaad with tired feet and more shopping bags than either of them wanted to count.

Back in their suite, Haley kicked off her boots and collapsed onto the couch beside the fireplace.

Jack placed the bags on the coffee table before helping her out of her coat.

“Successful expedition?” he asked.

Haley looked at the mountain of purchases and smiled proudly. “We bought gifts for everyone, saw the village, took pictures, had amazing lunch, and I found the best chocolate I've ever tasted.”

Jack sat beside her. “So tomorrow we can relax?”

Haley reached into one of the bags and pulled out her emergency chocolate. “Absolutely. Tomorrow we're doing nothing.”

Jack leaned back against the cushions, knowing her promises about doing nothing had a questionable history.

Haley broke off a piece of chocolate, popped it into her mouth, and curled up against him beneath the blanket.

After a moment, she held another piece toward his lips.

“Here, Honey.”

Jack accepted it, then slipped an arm around his wife as the fire crackled beside them.

Outside, the snow had started falling again, and the lights of Gstaad were slowly appearing beneath the mountains.

Their shopping bags could wait until morning. So could the rest of the honeymoon plans.

For now, Haley was comfortable, the twins were apparently demanding another piece of chocolate, and Jack had absolutely no intention of moving from the couch.