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ADDITIONAL TAGS: [Sloppy] [Cum on Body/Face] [Fingering] You're an ambitious, hard-working go-getter from the big city who's had enough of

ADDITIONAL TAGS: [Sloppy] [Hair Pulling[ [Cum on Body/Face] [Fingering] [Spitting During Oral] [Underwear Ripping]

You're an ambitious, hard-working go-getter from the big city who's had enough of the rat race and decided to move to the small, holiday-obsessed town of Mistleton for the holidays. While trying to buy a Christmas tree for your new cottage, you encounter a handsome, small town stranger who seems every inch the wholesome, mild-mannered Mr. Right. But is there more than meets the eye?

Hi!

We did it!! Another year of audios done, and classic me, very under the wire. It's an audio where a cheesy holiday romcom scenario takes a strangely filthy turn. Boy, I sure hope you like it! It was a lot of fun to try to emulate the style of corny dialogue, or at least my idea of it? I don't even really know if it's accurate, I've seen like two of these movies.

I remember getting a question once if I would ever to a "parody" or "comedy" NSFW audio and this isn't fully that, but there's probably more jokes and like wink wink meta-fictional elements, so if you're looking for any kind of realism, this isn't the one for you. I hope it's entertaining though and at least we go pretty hard on the sex.

See you in 2025! It's been a blast. Won't do much reflection here, because Jan/Feb is the real Patreon anniversary, so we'll get to that.

Take care and Happy New Year,

august 🌨️

Names Used: Sweetheart, gorgeous, baby, good girl, city girl, sl-t, cocksl-t, toy, f-cktoy

CW: Breeding dirty talk, mention of womb, and "get you pregnant". Some possessive, free use style dirty talk around "keeping" Listener character, making them stay, and "using all their holes", which Listener brings up first.

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Comments

kio 🍸

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Craw Daddy

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR GOD BLESS US ALL EVERYONE

nasa 🧸

[full nelson] holy shit.

eri 🦇

IVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY YAYYYYY HI AUGUST

kio 🍸

oh my dear god the tags the fuckign tagsusjqjdnwg

hexa

ohp.

erin 💕

Happy new year!! 🎉

ray 🛰️

THE TOWN IS CALLED FUCKING MISTLETON?

eri 🦇

off topic: but… can we have a discord? would that be weird? i’d love to chat with the community considering i cant exactly obsess over these audios with ppl irl lol

🎀

just fell to the ground…see y’all next year

kio 🍸

merry fucking christmas and a happy new year icb im ending the year w this audifoowofowkdkwf [screeches]

Emily

EEK I'm so excited!!

Pie 🥧

YESSSS! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE ALL MONTH 😭😭

key

FORTY SIX MINUTES GET INTO ITTTTTTTTTT

Craw Daddy

I beat the push notification getting here. I’m literally- IM OVER THE MOON THANK YOU SAINT AUGUST

eli

Ldjdbdkznzkxnxkdjsk

aliyah

can’t even be mad that this one won (or that the notif distracted me from the chai i put on the stove, which overflowed) because what an insane taglist LMFAO

J

Worst thing to see on my phone during an extremely neck-and-neck trivia game. "Full Nelson" made me forget the name of like three countries starting with P

mewmee

this is giving lowkey hallmark movie vibes😭😭😭😭😭

Titania

“ every inch the wholesome, mild-mannered Mr. Right” idk think there are a few non wholesome inches there

kio 🍸

46 MINUTES A WHOLE ASS MEAL THANK YOU AUGUST

chloe

i’m going to eat this audio in one bite. thank u

kio 🍸

IM NOT A FAN OF THOSE HALLMARK MOVIES BUT FUCK THIS AUDIO IS ABT TO CHANGE ME AS A PERSON

Elle

not me screaming at the full nelson tag 😮‍💨

BizzyGoodGirl

A new audio and I can't listen for like another 5 hours?!? 😭😭😭 2024 is really trying to kill me.

ray 🛰️

i can't believe this is going to turn into porn there are tears in my eyes

aliyah

absolutely AMAZING day for girls who were told they’d « make good lawyers » their entire lives because they were unforgivingly type A <3

Deedee 🫶🏾

46 MINUTES??! THE CROWD IS SEATED WITH HEADPHONES AT THE READY

lanii

i screamed. thank you august. happy new year

nasa 🧸

IM SCAREDDD PRESS PLAY FOR ME

ArtfullyAngelic

I’m about to come out of this completely different and I can only thank you in advance. It was nice knowing you all 🫡

chloe

bye he’s unironically the cutest, parody or notttrr

Blnnn

legs are shaking already…everybody say thank you August 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

✨Vi✨

🏇🔔Hear ye, hear ye—

Lynne

August really said “I’m going to fit every tag in one audio.” Cannot wait for this one!

riri

I was about to go to sleep but the notification literally woke me up haha https://c.tenor.com/4n-lZhgGbj4AAAAd/tenor.gif Btw not trying to be cheesy but I'm sure this audio will be a gouda one 🏃🏼‍♀️ (it's late... bye)

sarah 💫

FULL NELSON LLLLETS GET READY TO RRRRRUMBLE‼️‼️‼️🤼

rachel 🍓

Big win for the corny + horny crew! 🥰🎄and 46 MINUTES?! godspeed to anyone else still at their childhood home/surrounded by family, trying to puzzle out how + when they can appropriately listen to this tonight… we’ve got this 💪🏼🫡

ari

i’m building gazebos $20 a piece to buy my mama a faucet

sarah 💫

I’m not ready (I’ve been praying for this day to come (badum tss))

ari

sorry smosh vs christmas reference. anyway very excited for full nelson

✨Vi✨

After checking the tags: wait what?

chloe

the chopping noises PLSSSS THE RUNNINGGGGGG 💀

whoisthisis

Specifically came to the comments to find Claus Daddy lol. We did it fam!

Paige ✨

GIIIIIRL Doja Cat said, "look, I know your position - try to squeeze in the Full Nelson though" and August said, "bet"

Y

This is exactly what I needed to get through my exhausting final exams.🥹🥹

Pluto

I already know this is gonna be good without even listening to it yet

phonons

46 mins of Christmas tree guy?! And [Full Nelson]?! Oh my God 🧎🏽‍♀️

✨Vi✨

Besides the FULL NELSON thing *sending my respect*, I must say this tag list is longer than my New Year's shopping list. Boy do I ready for the feast….

phonons

Hahaha me right now pretending I'm just texting a friend 👀

Deedee 🫶🏾

PLEASE THE SPEED CHOPPING AND THE RUNNING! I’m literally crying 💀💀💀

akiscigarett

did this guy just chop off a tree in 5 secs and then carried me and the tree back to his place GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

chloe

this audio is actually the funniest thing i’ve ever heard “people don’t like it when you tune up their car or sing their favourite song softly in their ears” “we’ve known each other for about nine minutes” etc etc etc

✨Vi✨

Second it. I love this community and we should chat more✊

sarah 💫

I’m literally about to have a cozy sit down chat w a friend from out of town in the next 20 mins w the tags [full nelson] and [cum on body/face] ringing in my head, wish me luck 😵‍💫

charlie

guess who was just about to listen to an august audio? yes it's me, what a lovely new years' eve gift!

phonons

@sarah ✊🏽

sarah 💫

@Paige DojAugust 😍

ren

THESE TAGSS OH MY LORDDD!!! just what i need for new years eve today

R

I just know you had fun with this one, just the sugar plum street line alone

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

You would think I have never heard some of these words before the way I'm reacting 😳, I'm not gonna make it...

Xóchitl

read the tags and shed tears of joy

raspberry98

girl you’re actually so crazy for this …

charlie

something about the cadence of the speaker in the balsam fir tree scene feels like he's about to burst into song at any moment. "well... then, maybe we should just... listen?" and then a dance number like big and loud from cats don't dance starts

erin 🤸‍♂️

casual sex with a question mark just made my head spin 360 degrees awoooga!

stefff

🙋🏻‍♀️ I wanna be holed up in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere

charlie

LMFAOOOO

moira 🎃👻

holy shitttttt, let’s go ho-ho-ho’s!!! @rachel looks like we got our cozy cabin in the woods with [massage]!!

Bri

ima be honest - for a second i thought you would put on a Canadian accent idk why

call_me_dezzie💕

No because I was genuinely laughing the first like 7 minutes of this audio

charlie

"you weren't sore from walking in the snow - you wanted to have sex with me!!" LMFAOOOO AUGUST THIS IS SO GOOD, i love the funny-sexy vibe

moira 🎃👻

We’re 5 min in and I’ve been giggling nonstop 🤭

rachel 🍓

@sarah + @phonons haha but same, picture me at the dinner table with my family with game night plans on deck, poker-facing as if [massage] and [cumplay] and [overstim] haven’t taken a hit to my critical thinking skills. god gives his toughest battles to his strongest (winter) soldiers…see y’all in the comments later! 🪖💗✌🏼

Bri

no cause the way i have been laughing my ass off this whole time

call_me_dezzie💕

I'm literally not even finished cuz I keep stopping to laugh

rachel 🍓

LMAO YES you KNOW I thought of you the second I saw the [massage] tag 💞😭 you get me so bad I’m so fucking excited!!!

Xóchitl

i can’t even laugh bc that’s really how oblivious i am sometimes 😞

em

OH KUST YOU WAIT TILL IM ALONE TN AUGUST. BOUT TO EAT THIS UP BB

✨Vi✨

Update: 🪦💀 in a good way

Xóchitl

“some people implied it was too thick” he’s also 6’5 and reads lots of feminist literature btw 🙏🏼

Chris Cox

Full Nelson fucking. Well. Lol That was definitely a journey. 😆 The cheese was on point. Your audios are always a treat to listen to.

sarah 💫

I’m literally pausing every 30 seconds to cackle into my hands, this is some downright DElightful cheesy hallmark banter omg. “I built this place w my own two hands….and a bunch of tools and stuff 🙂” AHAHHA this literally feels like a Make Some Noise episode in the BEST possible way. I remember that question from your Reddit AMA about whether you’d ever do a parody/comedy audio and judging by the first 6 hilarious mins of this alone, I sincerely think you’d knock that out of the park!!!!

key

city girls up 100000000000000 after this 🙂‍↕️ (im not a city girl but we gon pretend)

Sisyrinchium

Omg yes! Corny Holiday Romcom!!! Omg I’m so glad you did this one! I can’t listen yet I’m traveling but ugh I’m excited to listen once I can!!

Elizabeth

I’m so thrilled. So pleased. I’m ready to start listening, this audio is all I wanted for Christmas

Jess

This was VIRTUOSIC. That's all.

Craw Daddy

Yall. I wrote an essay. Time stamp by time stamp. AND THIS APP ERASED IT. GOD. Anyways 10/10 literally changed my life what a miracle. I want to thank every single Hallmark holiday hoe this victory is for all of us.

Blnnn

play this at my funeral, cause I’m fucking dead after listening to this

Bindi

Oh this was hysterical 🤣🤣🤣 I definitely pictured him chopping and running full speed like Naruto but IM HORNY ALL YEAR BUT NO ONE ELSE IS really sent me like same bro its rough out here 💀

Deedee 🫶🏾

How does one fall asleep after listening to this masterpiece? 🧍🏾‍♀️

Ana

CUMMING FROM EATING PUSSY??? August is a real eater fr

Jaz

FULL NELSON? PARDON???

key

ONGGGGG

Effie

When I say this dialogue had me HOWLING lol This was like The Rise of Leslie Vernon but for Hallmark movies, holy shit. So funny, so hot. August, this was such a good time. I also wanted to mention that I inadvertently found the PERFECT song for the AITW Patreon: https://youtu.be/ds18Ozzp8h0?si=NKetl_fa9HmC8gDL Just some of the lyrics: "Meet me there where it never closes, meet me there where it's never hopeless. All is fair in love. Honey, are you coming? I know a place downtown, babe, if you wanna go I'm gonna show you how this Italian amor Is gonna love you harder than ever before You will like it It's 5 AM We feel so good, it's almost frightening It's 5 AM I'm made for you, we can't deny it Before I found this place I was feeling so blue But then it turned me out, let it do it to you It's not a one-night stand if it turns into two Oh, I like it" It's so perfect! lol

kio 🍸

i couldn't give a full review rn but holy shit he's so fucking cute!!!!!! he's so lovely and silly ugh and somehow a loverboy so cute wtf (absolutely a contrast on how rough he was BUT STILL) this was so fucking funny like i was prepping for the new years and i had this silly smile and was giggling esp in the first few minutes of the audio LMFAOOOO I LOVED IT he's also such a yapper i love it!!!!!! and the way he always asks the listener if whatever he's doing or saying is ok like!!!!! consent and constant check ins 🔛🔝 plus the aftercare and the possible future dates right after I LOVEEEE3 will write more next time but just wnna say that this was the audio i definitely needed rn and RAAAAAHH i iust loved it so much!!!@ SO CUTE SO HOT MHM has a thing for everything i love it's crazy i know. you did it again, August! (you always do). thank you for this masterpiece and ending this year with a bang (pun intended) RAAAAH happy holidays to you!!!! 🎄🫶

wiggie

ooooohhhh baby😮‍💨 wringing my hands in anticipation like a villain rn

wiggie

boioioioingggg 👁️🫦👁️

wiggie

DANA IM SO GLAD YOU MADE IT

GeauxGabby

Now I don’t kink shame! But I need to hear from the girls getting put in Full Nelsons. Are you stretching beforehand? Is this just off the cuff or is there some kind of hand signal like in wrestling?

gojoflakes

has his voice gotten deeper or is it just me ?? KITTY IS PULSING HIS NAME IN MORSECODE LAWDD

Craw Daddy

VICTORY! I’m so proud of us

GeauxGabby

“But I guess in the BIG CITY…” What? Trees don’t exist? Im screaming laughing at this I’m sorry 😂

mimi 🌻

the tags ? just keep going ??!

Lady SJ

August got me giggling at the first part 🤣

kira ✨

OKKAYYYYYYYYY

wiggie

https://discord.gg/ppSWKyWz hi 🤩 we do have one if you’d like to join the madness! again disclaimer as always: if August has a problem with it I will press the “blow up and explode” button 💣

Effie

Also, can we all please appreciate just how DEEP his voice goes in this one? LIke, honey, please, I'm too old to handle this.

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

Just letting you guys know I’m thinking of that tree-chopping guy from TikTok/IG while listening to this cuz he’s always on my feed LOL😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (Thor Bradley, just FYI) WAIT FOR MY ESSAY UGHHHHHHH

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

This is so annoyingly good. Like why did I briefly swoon at the hearing your own heartbeat line, “you’re shivering”? Totally forgot about the clownery for a second. Ridiculous 🥴

stefff

We were in that poll trench FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVESS 🙌🏻

key

OMG I LOVE THAT MAN.

MichaelCeraVe

I am 5min in. This dialogue is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Lilith 🧁

August sounds like the kind of guy that would say “Hey, gang!”

wiggie

dawg I have seen like three comments about this part and without listening I have curated what this sounds like, and I am already snorting to myself

ArtfullyAngelic

One line his voice dropped so deep I nearly collapsed

Effie

Right? If I hadn't been laying on the couch, I'd probably be concussed rn

ara♡ ⋆。˚

the dialogue is absolutely diabolical it's giving debby ryan hair tuck

sk

you are sooooo funny i hope you know😭

kio 🍸

RIGHT??#?% currently in a ditch, melting

Caroline

Hallmark producers better not poach our boy from us… when he goes from dork to bossy fuckboy I melted 🫠🫠

hexa

I am laughing so fucking hard. Your comedic chops cannot be overstated. “It must be hard to hear the sound of your own heartbeat. Shhhh… to the trees.” get out of here The chopping down the tree in 7 strokes? Running in full speed mode?? And so loudly??? The specificity of each of his “particularities”—out loud cackles THROUGHOUT. “Pull up some rug”???? so dumb in the best way. Dang it, that’s now permanently part of my vocabulary. “Who knows? Maybe they get tired of being holed up in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere.” Foreshadowing. “God your tits are fuckin—uh I mean, you’re really pretty and I feel connected to you—“ HAAAAAA STOP IT not the feminism gagging him mid-sentence My. Goodness. Wheezing.

hexa

Make Some Noise!!!!!! Ugh yes. The sheepishness of the aside took me out.

Erica P

Im usually a major lurker, but this audio reminded me that good sex can involve laughter and humor and still absolutely wreck me.

Just here

August I'm screaming. I... where did this...come from i... omgod. I thought I was already losing my mind with the brute one and the coworker 😭😭😭 this one... was insane in the best way. Also the way you slurred your words slightly at one point towards the end as you're murmuring the listener to come like you're delirious with pleasure ... magical. I'm crying at how good this was.

kit8118

“We’ve only known each other for nine minutes and maybe a few seconds” at 9:12 TOOK ME OUT. August your ability to create and act out these scenarios and to convey when they are satirical is god tier. 1000000/10 as always!

Deedee 🫶🏾

Strap in lads it’s a LONG one 🪑☕️🥸 August, you ended the year off with a BANG 💥🎇🧨🎆 literally hehehe. Also petition to nickname this M the snowplough/snowplow 🚜(a close enough emoji LMAO), all those in favour say I 🙋🏾‍♀️ have mercy on us pleaseeeeee. I don’t believe that you’ve only seen two of these movies because the dialogue was TOO on point🤨 The cringey dialogue had me in pieces for the first 10 minutes. I couldn’t even laugh out loud because it’s literally the middle of the night where I am so I was silently shaking with laughter. Then the speedy tree cutting and the exaggerated running? I was physically crying from laughing so hard, I had to stop the audio to take a breather LOL. M has MAJOR Kenergy, his only jobs are tree chopping and making sure Barbie(our city girl) is having a good day. This audio definitely has the most quota-table lines. Like: “I’m just a boring old homebody I guess 😔 😣” “We’ve only known each other for 9 minutes” “We’ve barely had a misunderstandings or arguments” “I’m just so horny all year” - ME TOO BESTIE IT’S OKAY. Like how did you come up with this dialogue?? My brain can’t comprehend how you just came up with these jokes and ideas. MY HEADPHONES DIED HALFWAY THROUGH. Your girl was distraught for about 10 minutes x Not instant horny rambling from M and then him trying to play it off and be a gentleman when F took her shirt off💀💀💀 [Face riding] YES GAWDDDDD! Whilst M plays with himself and spanks F? 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 “Are you okay? You’re shaking” I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT, 2024 the year of the munch fr. Also if someone called me a perfect little slut that they’ve been waiting so long I would also want to be bent in every way 😌 I fear you wouldn’t see me ever again. 👀 The [cumplay] is something I always overlook but fuck that and the [dick slaps]. The clit teasing combined with the [dick slaps] WHOAAAA SLOW DOWN. THE [FULL NELSON] RAHHHHHHHHHH, I felt it happening and I was NOT disappointed. Our city girl really turned M into a casual sex monsterrr. And to top it off the [breeding] and then the praise for being a good girl?? YUP YUP YUP THAT’LL DO IT! A perfectly packaged end of year gift. 🎁 Even the pillow talk had me shaking with laughter 💀 100000/10 you keep outdoing yourself! Can we redo Christmas? I forgot to put himbo lumberjack that can carry me on the Christmas list x (As well as anal, we will never stop fighting for her 🫡) Thanks for all the hard work this year August! Every drop is such a treat, honestly x 🫶🏾 And a happy new year to my fellow sugar plum winter fairies, let’s make 2025 a good one x ✨🎉🧚‍♂️

amy

dick is such a great christmas present! happy new years🎊🎊

Qariana Masowari

Just a thought—have you ever considered narrating books for Audible? Your voice is incredibly captivating, and for some reason, I just can’t get enough of it!

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

Good evening, ladies and gentlesluts! We are LIVE! It’s 5:30 AM here and wohooooooo we getting slammed by tree guy, baby! AirPods charged, blanket ready! Are you all ready for the Sugar Plum Street Enchanted Festival of Lights?! Cuz I definitely am! This is probably the longest essay I’ve written so~~~~~~~ Just letting you guys know that I will be thinking of that tree-chopping hunk from TikTok while listening to this (see: Thor Bradley) Tree nerd has slammed our listener hard from the get go 😂😭 he’s so mean! He sure hates city folk. Speaker getting frustrated with listener very quickly, and you know what that means~ the sex is gonna be good! “Maybe we should just listen, shhh, to the trees” when did he get right up in my ear wtf 😭😭Best believe she’s shivering and it’s NOT the boots! Big tree guy pushing us on the sled WITH the TREE? I could listen to that all day, with my jaw on the floor. HE IS STRONG ISN’T HE?! Cozying up by the fire place! “I built this place with my own two hands…….and a bunch of tools and stuff” appreciate the honesty there, tree man 😭😭😂 “My idea of a good time is reading contemporary poetry or writing original harp music. I have all these annoying little particularities like the three course dinner I cook has to be from a different culture every week, each morning I just need to hike up to lookout to watch the sunrise and write down five things I’m grateful for and one thing I could improve at in my journal” sir, TAKE ME TO DO THAT WITH YOU LIKE??????? We love a boring old homebody 😭😭😭😭🩵 “Duh, nobody cares about having fresh wildflowers and natural spring water gathered for their bath. People don’t like it when you tune up their car or sing their favourite song softly in their ear as they fall asleep in your arms, do you want a foot massage?” Ummmmmmmm WHO HURT THIS TEDDY BEAR?!!!!! I want all of those!? “We’ve only known each other for, 9 minutes, maybe few seconds” you freaking genius!!! SO META! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Speaker opening up to listener is so heartwarming, he just wants someone to talk to, “Casual? I mean what do you mean by that? I’m usually not wearing my Sunday best” oh god he’s too adorable, definitely wanna corrupt him 😭😭😭😂😂😂 Also, watch all those he mentioned become audio speakers at one point? “Hotel managers”; “Bakery owners”; “Overworked single parents (DILF?)”; “Secret Royalty” “So this why you wanted me to massage your thighs, you weren’t sore from walking in the snow, you wanted to have sex with me. Ugh, that makes so much sense cuz when you took off your pants I was really wondering what” SHUT UP LOL OMG I AM DYING “Your tits are fucking—- I mean you’re really pretty and I feel connected to you” HAAHHAHAHHA I don’t know which I enjoy most, the dirty stuff or this hilarious teddy bear 😭😂😂😂 Never thought I’d enjoy corrupting someone but here we are with another kink unlocked! “Just so horny all year and I feel nobody else is” 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻 yup SIRRRRRR!!!! When speaker ripped those undies my eyes almost popped out of my head! For someone so cute and wholesome he’s FILTHY! Spanking WHILE face-riding, GOD, aren’t we being fed?!😭😭🔥🔥🔥🔥 “Hot little sl—— um” GOD the way he was hesitant I am DYING this is so funny! 😭😭😭😭 The dirty talk is insane! “Some people imply it was too thick” who are those some people and where can we fight them?! Stroking that “fat fucking cock” while face-riding is diabolical! DIABOLICAL! “Are you okay? You’re shaking.” HAS THIS MAN BEEN WITH ANYONE I CANT BREATHE 😭😭😭😭 “Mine, mine, mine, all mine” ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh LADIES, he knows HE KNOWS WE LIKE THIS and he keeps DOING IT over and over again 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨🫠🫠🫠🫠 First speaker orgasm was without penetration even, damn! HE DOES NOT MASTURBATE someone protect that teddy bear at all costs!! Don’t we just love getting glazed like a donut? For someone so corruptible, he’s very FILTHY and I love it! “Do they make them like that where you come from?” I just imagine speaker pretty broad cuz of years of chopping up wood and carrying trees around (maybe with a hint of chest hair skssjesjsheenehiwndjxjdbdd) I wanna scratch his chest WHO SAID THAT?! “I’m gonna hold that pretty face while it goes in, okay?” SIR EXCUSE ME 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 Can we talk about how deep his voice went during the ‘action’? The banter and the talking throughout 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 it’s giving brute + Aughost combined. “Are you up for it? You up for it? Can you really take everything I have to give you?” I am MELTING you guys in this cold weather I am NOT OK! CALL AN AMBULANCE! The grinding action kaksjekehdkeejeoebeekdhddnbdendeeeejeb I am WEAK in the knees!!!!! “Beg for d-daddy’s cock back inside you” his little hesitation I am SQUEALING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😮‍💨😮‍💨🫠🫠🫠 The full Nelson! THE FULL NELSON!!!! Combined with that deep voice?! OH MY GOD Ihissksjkeejeje I cannot function! Listen to how he’s EXCITED to try it out! “I love casual sex” oh bless your gorgeous heart, teddy bear! He’s experiencing new stuff thanks to our corrupting listener girl 😭🩵 “All your fucking holes” Sir, you can’t do this! A menace on the new year?!!! ALL THE HOLES?! “I’m gonna keep you” Hshwjjansbsnddb I CANNOT BREATHE “Use you, every fucking hole, fucking one after the other over and over again” SIR!!!! how am I supposed to function all day, huh?! He has gone full primal, didn’t he? Claim her, please! 😭😭😭😭😭🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 THE BREEDING TALK! WHAT THE FUCK?!!😭😭😭😭😭 “so you have to stay with me” aaah!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨🫠🫠🫠 I need a breather! I stopped breathing! Here we go again “take it, take it, take it” those damn repetitions!!!!!! The praise, I am down on my knees 😭😭😭the breath work? You’re insane, diabolical, a menace, I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW “Nobody’s ever sucked on my tongue before” listener is such a slut and I love her! She’s definitely something! He’s found someone to match his freak 🔥😮‍💨 Ugh the after care, the cute little things to do after the decorating. He’s just too adorable I can’t with him! How can he be so cute after destroying listener so bad?!😭😭 *clears throat* Well, uh, that was lovely. I am not melting, for sure. Let me gather my thoughts 😭😂 The slow transition from the cute innocent teddy bear who’s hard working all year round and never getting laid to the feral, primal, possessive rough Mdom that we all (I am SURE ALL) just now love and adore. He’s definitely topping my list! That was the most beautiful corruption audio I have ever heard! The dialogue was absolutely hilarious and witty and very hallmark-movie inspired!! Congratulations on another year, August! I might have joined this community late in the year, in August specifically teehee, but during the past few months I’ve gone through your work, and I’ve seen your audios become more and more intricate, more detailed, the dialogue more and more creative, the SFX and the sounds. I’m not joking when I say I listen “for the plot” as well! You’re just something else! Happy New Year, may 2025 be yet another success for you, whether on a personal level, on a professional level, or on any level, really! Thank you for all the hard work! I appreciate you so much! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Now go hydrate as always, you freaking genius. Actually, grab yourself a cup of hot chocolate. You earned it 😭🩵

✨Vi✨

So glad we have one yayyy🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️

nasa 🧸

I WAS LAUGHING SO MUCH AHA

Josie Lundstrom

The beginning is actually so funny had me giggling a few times ngl

anna

the genre stuff was SO fucking funny but also this is truly beat for beat the full experience of getting absolutely railed mindless by a goofy ass himbo who doesn't understand you're trying to have sex with him

mimi 🌻

LITERALLY like hello why is it so deep and why is it so 🤤🤤

mimi 🌻

as someone who has pulled their hip flexor from a DT, i would 10000% have to stretch before hand HAHAHAA

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Not him reading House on Mango Street 😭 (I haven’t thought about that book in forever). You just know he’s earnestly bringing up Silvia Federici every chance he gets

mimi 🌻

the talking while not fully removing his mouth from eating? MORE OF THAT IN 2025 PLEASE

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

Also, August can’t keep getting away with this over and over and over again 😂😂😂😂😂😭

nasa 🧸

THE POSSESSIVE DIRTY TALK OF "KEEPING" LISTENER SENT ME TO HELL AND BACK BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

amy

u chop that tree so fast i was laughing bro

Mantis

"I'm gonna hold that pretty face while it goes in" _| ̄|○ I LEGIT COLLAPSED ON TO THE FLOOR HOLY SHIT

Gabby

The sex stuff is phenomenal (as we knew it would be because this man is the absolute best) but bro I need to meet August irl. Not to clock him. Not in a fan way. I don’t even need to know it’s him. I just need to experience this comedic genius live and in the wild. I’m a horny mf that counts down the days until an August drop but the first 12 minutes made me forget what I was here for.

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

“Sure they’re not always perfect but if you give them a chance they’ll light up your life” This hit HARD!!! 😭

Beth

the sillier he gets the hotter he is

rubydacherry

ngl rough august is definitely my favorite😞

✨Vi✨

When I heard that line: *open my eyes* *check my phone* *"I freaking knew it"*

J

Genuine laugh out loud multiple times throughout this audio. The lines parodying Hallmark movies made me scream!!! Sex stuff was brilliant as always, and I love the transition from like, Wholesome Romantic Interest with Diverse Hobbies to like, pussy-drunk. I will be re-listening to this for many reasons, least of which in order to delve into the rich and unusual world of Hallmark Land. This character you've created who has a magical romantic connection with someone every holiday season but who just can't find anyone who's down to bone during the rest of the year is so goddamn funny

yanna

Bro is steve from minecraft irl 😭😭😭

Sierrana89

The abrupt “do you want a foot massage?” was a new level of comedy I didn’t know I needed.

chai

ending the year just right 🎉💗

Sloan Amora

Jan is my 1 year being here and I am so excited to see what you do in 2025!!

Pie 🥧

I’ve been reading so much “small town” romances and this is literally the best choice after that poll challenge we battled through hahaha. I am literally so excited to see which one August will choose. 🤣

karolll

I had surgery on my ankle last week and this is the first thing in days that genuinely made me laugh!!

Pie 🥧

I seriously laughed out loud because of that. 😭😭😭

Cam

The dialogue at the beginning has me cackling 😭

wiggie

crying imagining the dead sprint with tree and listener in tow as the “FLINT LOCKWOOD!!!” run from cloudy with a chance of meatballs

eno

“all covered in you baby” made me unironically clutch my pearls like that is just so…. 31:47

eno

JUST THE WAY IT WAS SAID LIKE OH MY GOD !!

Pomme G Seeds

Maybe the true meaning of Christmas is getting glazed like a donut and full nelson'd by the local tree farmer who plays the harp and likes to cook. What an audio to end the year!!! Employing the full nelson, funny dialogue, kisses, oral, cum play!!! I really didn't think I'd ever be into that but the last dirty talk changed me Forever. This one was such a silly, cute romp that was filthy as sin and sweet as candy all at once! I will now think about Hallmark Guy and City Girl going on totally-platonic-dates that end with them having filthier and filthier sex as they get to know each other better, as the only two people in town who seem to be capable of being horny outside of the holidays.

wiggie

wishing for a speedy recovery!!🫶🏼

lunarseven

never! recovering! from the emotional whiplash i sustained from laughing constantly for the first 10 minutes to melting from that delicious kissing + oral like why is MY mouth watering

burntstrawberrytoast

my brain is so mushhhhhhh…… i am not well…. i need to lie down.

Elizabeth

Sweet heaven above August, you outdid yourself. It was so perfectly corny and schmaltzy at the beginning and then absolutely mind blowing sex. I’m a puddle on the floor and I shan’t recover before the new year. All those good girls at the end are going to sustain me until the end of time.

Keisoné

This is my Spencer Reid 🫶🏽😌

adrian ⛓️

oh god i feel the urge to write an essay about this one

MsMagey

I had to pause at 0:58 to go find some kind of Hallmark movie bingo or drinking game because the line about city slickers being too busy looking at their phones is too painfully perfect Edit: Hallmark sells Hallmark Christmas movie bingo game pads Edit 2: Don't do this because the tropes fly by way too fast to keep up with AND you will spit take within 2 minutes.

sarah 💫

FLINT LOCKWOOD MENTION‼️🌧️🍝🥹 also lmaooo i pictured an Edward Cullen “better hold on tight spider monkey”esque scene myself but the flint lockwood run is so good too 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

charlie

full warm up routine, hydrate, stretch too like i hope yall are protecting your joints and muscles. on a bright note, their hams and glutes are gonna get so strong from the active stretching

sarah 💫

There’s no ailment some good ol’ August Cheesiness can’t cure 🧀 Hope you feel better soon! ❤️‍🩹

hexa

and now I’m picturing the Cullen baseball game running 😭

sarah 💫

“How do you do, fellow kids? 😎🛹”

dee

I love it when an audio can make me laugh, this was so damn goofy and so damn hot 😩 jeez what a way to send off 2024

wiggie

oh you are ON to something 📝

Mantis

That's exactly how I was on the floor lol That line made my legs buckle so fast dude it was embarrassing

hexa

loggust noooo (yes)

JammyJam

I wanted to write a sweet and respectful end-of-the-year review but this audio?! Fuck it city slut here celebrating (sweetly and respectfully) 🎄🥳😍 "They're not always perfect, if you give them a chance they'll light up your life." I replayed this part so many times. It has the perfect amount of cheesiness and sincerity, balanced by a hint of goofiness, almost like one of those good old animated movies (in the best possible way). Never thought I'd be a fan of cheesy lines but they sound incredible in your voice! Rolling and giggling in my bed and barking for more. Why are you so good at it?! "I'm just so horny all year and I feel like nobody else is." hello sir?! Are you reading my annual audio report out loud?! I wasn't expecting this voice but it worked so well! Especially when S starts to talk about the noises in the big city and all in a sudden his voice is smooth and sweet like honey. But then when he complains about people no longer care about the tiny little things in their life he gets adorably grumpy, we love a grumpy puppy!!! That whispered "just listen… to the trees…" killed me. Put that on my headstone. And the husky shagging voice and those shaky mumbles during afterglow?! You don't need logs in that fireplace sir, just talk and let it burn. Huge thanks to you, August, and the community, for another incredible year! I honestly don’t know how I’d have made it through without the magic of your voice and storytelling. Here’s to staying happy, healthy, and diving into another year of creative adventures together!

wiggie

sarah pls😭 queue “supermassive black hole”

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

🎵 Now Playing - All Night Long by Mary Jane Girls 🎶 *Carrie Bradshaw voice* As I walked down Fifth Avenue, passing by shops full of diamonds and jewel-toned silks, I reflected on this world full of indulgence. I felt so at home wherever drives were dominated by pleasure. I couldn’t help but wonder: where could an insatiable slut like me find a Pleasure Dom every inch the ravenous, sex-starved lunatic I needed? I know City Slicker (more like Slickest by the end) was supposed to warm her cold heart by his loins and literal fire, but I do feel absolutely frozen/fried/annihilated at my laptop as I type this. I feel like I’ve just been standing in front of an airplane engine. I don’t…. I can’t…. He’s even hornier and nastier than I dreamed 😁 *slot machine noises* What do I say?!?!?! There was a brief, blasphemous moment when I thought the dialogue sounded a bit rushed in the beginning before I realized you were doing a “bad/mediocre acting” thing. No genuine response, just waiting to say your line like an NPC. Too funny. This was especially clear given the rest of the audio in which your strength in pacing was on clear display. This was both agonizing and way too much? Like I needed more but also had to keep pausing it??? Overstim has entered the chat. At this point, I feel like you could describe drinking a piping hot cup of hot chocolate, and I would know EXACTLY what it tastes like because you are SO GOOD at describing and sound designing whatever experiences you want. This was so so so scary, I felt like I was there, I am so terrified what in the actual fuck. I guess I can try to speak on the Pleasure Dom dynamic happening??? Um… Hmmm. He’s insatiable, but, more accurately, unrelenting. Even with himself, keeping his cock on her while she’s cumming again even though he’s losing it, so he can drink up her orgasm with his dick???? The alternating between penetration and rubbing on L’s clit… The fucking goddamn cock slaps........... Will gnawing on my laptop be enough to kill me? There is just not enough sensation, not enough warmth and wetness for him. He's so cum drunk at the end, I wanted to die. This is absolutely peak [Slut Encouragement], but of the Dom. What a delight to present yourself as a feast to a Pleasure Dom, walking into a monster’s warm cabin. He seems so adorably delighted by her depravity. But also omg the potential here with Loggust (@sarah 💫) only ever getting laid around Christmas? What a way to leave room for listener imagination. I will be imagining him 🧠 Errata: 🎄 I (almost) refuse to say anything about the cum. It's starting to feel like a sting operation. How could I resist?!?!?!?! Cum stuff in this was...............Good. It made me...........Happy. 🎄 Why didn’t he put on his original harp music in the background??? 🎄 The sound of the blustering wind outside is CHEF’S KISS, it’s SO COLD, and he’s SO HOT. Your voice sounds SOOOO GOOD. Sorry sorry, focus, Gabriella! 🎄 23:11 - 23:14 is SO scary, “you’re shaking”. Yes! Yes, I am. What?! What the fuck are those sounds?????? 🎄 The kissing at the beginning is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🎄 Aww he’s Busy Business too, not even time for his legally-mandated hour-long hot chocolate break 😔 🎄 “We do get the internet out here” Bitch, he’s not Amish 😒. A little obsessed with this cum-for-brains L who clearly took one look at him and decided to send Reason home to the city. “It’s been a long time since I felt like someone wanted to get to know me” oh no, Loggust…. babe….. 🎄 I was so deer–in-the-headlights for my first listen, I didn’t realize how brazen this L was being. Probably literally writhing under him while he’s massaging them, and he’s like “golly gee, you mean I can have sex without planning for the future?????” I am so appreciative that you took Silly Goose December seriously. It’s such a joy when you show off how funny you are. I too will save schmaltz for Jan/Feb (as if I have been doing a good job keeping my Pisces Moon at bay the past month). Thank you, August, and everyone 💗! This one was.....umm......uhhhhhhhh.........what?

chloe

this is the perfect audio

chloe

the last ten minutes are the most beautiful ✨ might actually make me crazy

chloe

august’s voice is already MELODIC but the moans in this one… out to get me

sarah 💫

Oh there’s a hole and it’s super massive alright!!!!☝🏼😏 (the hole in Loggust’s heart as he waits for somebody to match his freak 😔💔)

chloe

need this character bad actually. if i said this about the last audio No I Didn’t.

chloe

i might have to listen to this audio 300 times before it stops melting my brain in new ways

Paige ✨

WHAT OMG DOWNLOADING DISCORD JOINING RN

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Will they eventually have to move because (these prudes) people complain about the noise?

Kimberly

“answer the question city girl” that line made me feel some type of way good lord 😮‍💨🙂‍↕️

sav kate

What a way to end the year 😮‍💨 you’re a little TOO good at writing hallmark romance scripts, my guy

Red Spider

Sweet and sexy, the slegh ride back to the cabin was orgasmic. So much energy💋

Mantis

I hope your ankle heals up nicely and soon!!! 🫂🫂🫂🫂

chloe

“people don’t like it when you tune up their car or sing their favourite song softly in their ear as they fall asleep in your arms… [sigh] do you want a foot massage? 😞” CRAZY WORK

pinkJoy_0

I will shout about how good you are at writing until the end of time. This script is so funny

amy

BRO LMAOOO

phonons

-"I don't even really know if it's accurate, I've seen like two of these movies." So which ones did you watch? -"Maybe we should just listen...shhh... To the trees"-the way I could picture M bringing his index finger to his mouth when shushing F, and then he moves his arms around to the vastness of his tree farm while F leans in to listen -When I said I wanted to hear the exertion of M carrying a Christmas tree around, in a million years I wouldn't have imagined we were getting Sonic the Lumberjack 😭 the way this man just BOOKED it back to his cabin 😂 -"Maybe I'm just not adventurous enough. All I do all day is work at the tree farm, protect the biodiversity of the forest and make Nordic style wooden furniture"..."My idea of a good time is reading contemporary poetry or writing original harp music"..."I have all these annoying little particularities. The three course dinner I cook HAS to be from a different culture every week. Each morning I just need to hike up to the lookout to watch the sunrise and write down 5 things I'm grateful for and one I could improve at in my journal" - The beginning dialogue is so freaking good. Boy am I glad to be here. He sounds so tortured lol -Loved the call-out to the different archetypes you get in holiday movies. The secret royalty one in particular tickled me -"Casual? What do you mean by that? Usually I'm not wearing my Sunday best"-August please! I can't with this himbo cutie 🥹 -"...Your tits are fucking... Uh, I mean, you're really pretty and I feel connected to you" - Wow, ally ✊🏽 This wasn't specifically a tit worship audio, but I appreciated all the attention they got -The voice change once things get heated. Like an unhinged pent up beast was released -The cumming after F rides M's face and the smearing of cum all over F's body... Dios bendito. The subsequent dick slaps on F's face... They sounded...hefty 🥴 -"Look at how slick and creamy that fucking cock is" - What a poet ✍🏽 🙂‍↕️ -The surprise when F called M D*ddy. I believe it was Ky who said once that it's a word that it's earned and omg did this M earned it. He was all shy and clueless at the begining but the escalation of his desire for F and wanting to make her feel good turned him into this sexy Mr Hyde. I liked that the full Nelson didn't happen until after F called M D*ddy. It came across to me as even though there's this pretty rough encounter with a very dominant M, F is still the one who dictates how far they take things. Sadly, there's too many guys IRL who forget consent is sexy and that bc you agree to one thing it doesn't automatically mean you're gonna be into everything -Oh Lord, The possessive breeding talk. One of the things you've made me realize lately that I'm apparently into 🤷🏽‍♀️ -Also, please more dick rubbing after M comes in F 🫣 -The SFX on this one were soooooo good. The crunching snow, the chopping wood, the tree being dragged, the freaking body sounds 🥴🥴🥴🥴 Someone throw me in horny jail -I can't get enough of all the kissing at the end after saying and doing the filthiest things, and the way M's voice just goes back to normal. I.... 🫠 Thank you for such a great 2024. This Patreon continues to be one of the best places on the Internet. Happy New Year Horny Book Club and Mr. InTheWinter!

Paige ✨

Heal up girly! 🫶🏼

Tay

I've legitimately laughed out loud at some of these lines! And so fucking hot. I LOVE this so much. Amazing job August 💚❤️

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

The fact that listener was literally without pants and probably squirming under his big strong wood-chopping hands massaging her bare thighs and he’s like “oh it must be hot for her with the fire” no wonder he wasn’t getting laid this poor teddy bear 😭😭😭😭😭

Hannah 🌸

Maybe 🤔 I'm just not adventurous enough 😕. All I do all day ☀️is work at the tree 🎄farm, protect the 🐰biodiversity 🦉of the 🐀forest, 🌲and make 🪚Nordic-style 🙄wooden furniture. 😮‍💨 People want something 😔 fun 🤪 and exciting 😲. My idea 💡 of a good time 😈 is reading 📖 contemporary poetry 😇, 🥺 or writing original 🤓 harp music. 🎶✍️😔 😍 ... Do you want a foot massage? 😉

Jada M

UGH YES!!!! When this prompt came up on the poll I cast my vote and then hoped and wished and im sooo happy you made this!! That first part is suuuuch a comedic writing flex. At the risk of sounding like a glowing movie review soundbite “LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️” lmao The “dUHH” Took. Me. Out. your delivery was amazing i choked on my laughter and started coughing it was so hilarious. And just everything you poked fun at was so exact. My only knowledge of these types of movies comes from watching the I Like To Watch series with trixie mattel and katya and it seemed pretty spot on to me (nice princess switch ref if it was that). Also, as a reach i guess, there is something almost heartwarming and mostly endearing about this speaker character feeling boxed in by the expectation of a holiday romcom male lead?? So when he got to have the rough animalistic sex of his dreams i was so psyched for him lmao is that weird to say?? And about the sex, all of my favourite stuff!! Love titplay, love good girl, love speaker touching himself because he cant help it!!! Love begging!! Love love love him thanking listener. And the contrast between his sing songy tropey personality (im serious that at some points at the cadence you spoke with it nearly sounded like you were going to break into song and i kinda digged that?? It added smth delightful to this audio) to literally growling with need bc hes so pent up and horny mmmm yum~ hehe >:) UGH!!! Thank you for this!! Knocked it out of the park and please please pleeeaaase i hope you do more stuff like this in the future if youd like to or had an idea in mind. It sounds like you had so much fun doing this. Adding a porny(?) twist to this phenomenon is like adding chemical x in the powerpuff girl mix lol. Such a long comment oops haha but I hope you have a fantastic new year ✨

Bembirb

this is now one of my FAVORITE audios. the sweet little rant followed by “do u want a foot massage? 🙁” UGH kicking my legs

nini

hey August! really fun simple idea just off the top of my head. a conjugal visit with a italian american ivy league graduate prisoner audio would be super cool and different and unique

aliyah

i know you said this wasn’t totally a parody/comedy audio, and i’m not sure what the voters for this prompt had in mind, but this was so fucking hilarious LMAOO thank you so much! ticked every box of the lame hallmark romance movie trope checklist and then some (“is it like, a fake relationship? because i’m kind of familiar with…”) i hope this was as fun to write as it was to listen to! the meta elements were really cool too, i’ve never actually been a fan of fourth wall breaking but the ~slip ups~ of the nice guy persona were really sexy. let your freak flag fly, babygirl. on that note, this was truly a wild prompt to go 1000% in on the filth with & exploring some of those newer kinks you talked about in the DT (cumplay shoutout…), but it was absolutely worth it. setting the satirical aspect aside, the absolute desperation of someone who hasn’t really been able to explore the rougher sides of sex with someone ostensibly stressed from their City Girl Corporate Girlbossmaxxing job, is really well conveyed here. there’s a nearly frantic energy to it and it’s really easy to imagine how rough and clingy these two are being with each other. the absolutely lascivious sound of his cock slapping her face went crazy i love having ears. self indulgently: the way his voice lowers at 29:00, asking if “they make ‘em like that where you come from,” & wanting to see her “pretty face when it goes in”—super hot but also a little more romantic (in the normal, not-unhinged-and-cliché way) and intimate.“what’s gonna happen if i keep teasing it?” / “is that too sensitive for you, slut? answer the question. answer the question, city girl” / “i can’t understand you, take a deep breath then get the words out” …. adult romance booktok found dead in a sled accident with a reindeer. the VAing here is the literal embodiment of when someone’s voice is described as deepening because of arousal. actually fucking love how the M sounds basically drunk on lust by the end, with all that unfiltered absolutely filthy dirty talk and telling the F he’s going to knock her up & keep her around to use. nobody loves a good domesticity x breeding moment like an ambitious workaholic! in sum: need to log this baddie on letterboxd so it can join my Erotic Girl Christmas recent watches (5⭐️, of course). to anyone who read this far, i adore you and hope your winter/holiday szn has been wonderful and you have a great new year! hugs & kisses.

rose

please I'm not even 10 minutes in and I'm CACKLING the dialog is hilarious 😭

Sammi

I cannot express how much this made me laugh, there’s really layers to this

anastasia

oh my god merry christmas what just happened

EssJay

🎵 one tree, and a sled for her feet. now he’s eating her out - is it casual now? 🎵

tash

so real for this 😭

Pomme G Seeds

They are chased out of town with pitchforks and torches because their loud fucking disrupts the big Easter Hubbub 😔

Samaru

Earnest goofy down right filthy cutie patootie 🥲

Allie

when his voice went super deep HAVE MERCY 😭 also loved “we’ve only known each other for like 9 minutes…👀” time is a weird soup my guy we just roll with it

Ananinha

MY BOY WAS HUNGRY HE WAS STARVINGGGGG HE WAS JUST OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

秦词

Omg I’m thinking about the same TikTok guy🫣

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Awww damn, right when she was finally gonna get double stuffed like a Cadbury Crème egg 🥺

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

The frantic DT #1 energy in this is making me want to pull out my hair. Is Loggust free?? Will he do it for me???? 😍

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

What do you sprinkle on those audios, man?! And the voice?!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭

Lexapro

46 minutes of that boy eatin

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Decorating Her Cottage Menu (he’s showing off, so he pulls from three different cultures): 🍴Starter: Oxtail Empanadas 🍴Entree: Shrimp Étouffée 🍴Dessert: Rasgulla Decorating Her Insides Menu (he’s not showing off, he’s just really nasty): 🍴Starter: Wheelbarrow spanking + aggressive fingering 🍴Entree: Alternating between ass and pussy till she blacks out 🍴Dessert: his cum This audio is giving me brain damage, Happy New Year everyone!! 😘

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

“I love having ears” 😭😭😭 But truly, it’s incredible to me how much of this is essentially a nightmare, a true crime podcast waiting to happen, but I was shouting, “yes! Knock her up! Chain her to your heaviest Nordic-style table!!!”. I’ve never understood the pregnancy bit of a breeding kink (who doesn’t want to be chock full of cum? That makes sense), but I get it now 🪵🧎🏿‍♀️

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

GABRIELLA!!!!! I am GASPING! Yes please!!! This audio has given me brain damage for real! On my third listen so far! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

When is it considered spamming? Cuz I’m willing to come back here and commenting to let you guys know this is driving me NUTS!

Grace

Why did this make me laugh so hard lmaooo

GeauxGabby

I googled a photo of this and I am very flexible but I have GOT to make sure my hamstrings are locked and loaded in 2025.

phonons

I also just can't get over how dude is scheming, kind of shyly might I add, for more of his new favorite activity around some of the most wholesome things you can do in winter. It's such a nice way of conveying that F matched his freak and he can't get enough, but when he says "no pressure", he's still cognisant of what F's limits might be. Ahhh!

Isa

this is so so so so good!!!

Xóchitl

guys i really think we need an audio with a speaker who’s just a littleeee bit psychotic and deranged (definitely not at all inspired by the recruiter from squid game)

FeenixFyre

I literally am dying to be free of responsibilities and family members today so I can enjoy this, so for now, HNY all, and August may all the gods bless you with a new year as good as the blessings you give to us 💙

Gabby

Waiiiit I think you cracked it

Valerie

Happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Thank you for your high quality audios 🎊🎊

makenzi

I’m going to keep it succinct* but I could easily go line by line with how tightly packed with The Goods this is. *lol That whispered “Sshh, to the treeees…” dead. Dying. OBVIOUSLY the speed-chopping and sprinting bc Jesus Christ lololol The lamentations? Chorkling (chuckle/chortle, you’re welcome) the whole time 😭😂 “God your tits are fuckin- I mean you’re really pretty and I feel connected to you…” “God you call that quality, where’d you buy those?” The first nine minutes followed by the next 37 are flawless, hilarious himbo filth. You are an incredibly clever, witty, nuanced creator containing multitudes. It’s freakin awesome. This is freakin awesome.

Samaru

Somehow it gives off Disney Prince vibes at first, maybe specifically Kristoff in Frozen lolol and then SO NOT 😗

makenzi

What a perfect menu! Oxtail AND etouffee? My New Orleanian heart is a-flutter! AANNND delicious, delicious sexy goodness? Gabriella, your mind is a wonderland. A dirty, devious, and delightful wonderland.

Samaru

I’m just saying I usually have a really good poker face when I’m listening to new audios but I just could not hold back the little smirks and silent gasps this time. Merry Happy New Year, August! 🥳

crocs4u

so stardew valley coded

💕Lauren💕

I see why the girlies be analyzing the audios because I feel like I got so much to say about this😭😭 I freaking love everything about itt. The corny tropes, the royalty mention, the running??? 😂😂I love love Hallmark movies and it hit the mark, I’m so glad this was chosen! I was so gagged, I laughed, I was entertained! It truly felt like a Hallmark movie without fading to black. https://imgur.com/a/eMNLc6T I redrew the brute, I really hated the one in my previous drawing, so thx Jen for the inspiration! Hope our brutes don’t look too similar😭 I only wanted to change his race. https://imgur.com/a/3QszRgI There is, of course, the Luke worship, I had to do it and I had fun! Only difficulty with that is I had no idea how I wanted him to look. This year was a lot, but the best thing about it was this community. I never drew men before this, or drew men this well before. With each drawing, I just learned more and more about what I wanted, my lines got cleaner too and I’m just so proud of myself! Thank you for the inspiration! These are all my drawings for this year! Happy New Year's Eve!! 💕💕

秦词

Happy New Year everyone!!!! This is…wow…another funny, hot, filthy work of art. Everyone in the comment pretty much covered everything I wanted to say. I’m just gonna add a few small things: This M character…*fans myself* you can’t convince me he isn’t 6’5, wears leather jacket, grows moustache, has long hair and braids his hair, and drinks camomile tea. He literally chops down a fucking tree in 5 seconds and gives you a foot massage😭 He’s so service dom coded and I can’t 😭 Half way through I also got the vibe he’d be a big sweetie for after and he delivered just that😭 He also asks permissions every step of the way. You’re setting the bar too high, August😭 Every time he’s like is it okay I’m a little rough or is it okay I touch you like this, I want to squeeze him so hard😭 The kissing, my goodness, I think it’s breaking the record of how much can August kiss in an audio? I haven’t checked but I think it dethroned Just Making Out in terms of how long he kissed??? (Plz correct me if I’m wrong) The legs-on-the-shoulders oral and spanking????? Hello????? Please send help????? Give me your hair??? Sir, not my wig He apologised for too much cum😭 Never thought I’d say this but somebody please sedate me😭 The voice drop🫠 And he thanked me for being a good girl???? Ngl if I got this man’s address, I’d stand outside of his window and scream WHAT ARE WE for a solid 10 minutes. The sound quality is slightly different in this one I think? In a good way. It sounds like it’s coming from a TV or something. It really feels like a movie. I wonder if August tweaked something in post production or he recorded differently. Or maybe it’s my delusion.

Dafina

WHY DIDNT I RECEIVE THE NOTIFICATION AGAIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS GEM HAS BEEN UP FOR 14 HOURS ALREADY WITHOUT MY [REDACTED] COMMENTS

Faye

OHHHH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!! post nye party listen is going to be elite🙂‍↕️

phonons

Sorry to spam, but F lives on Sugar Plum and 2nd, and it just came back to me that Yehawgust calls Wildflower Sugar Plum when they're pretending to be married!!! I gotta do some homework in preparation for the (possible) Augustverse quiz 🤓

Rya Li

Im on a flight. Husband thinks this is horseshit. Crossin thighs thinkin bout livin on SugarPlum St

Rya Li

This is fucking hilarious

aliyah

LMAO LITERALLY shoutout to august for being the first man to make 1) the “nice guys finish last” trope and 2) the idea of being stuck in a cabin in a new place with a man you don’t know actually sexy. both nightmarish situations irl LMFAO unfortunately, for someone who doesn’t plan on having kids until after law school, i commit too hard to the pregnancy aspect of breeding as well 😔 you’re not you when you’re horny.

ArtfullyAngelic

DEAR GOD ASK AND MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED I LITERALLY SAID THE OTHER DAY IM HOPING YOU COME UP WITH LUKE SKETCHES HAPPY [REDACTED] HOLIDAYS MY LIFE IS FULFILLED THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR INCREDIBLE WORK YOU PREVIOUS BEAN IM LIIIIVIIIIIIING

ArtfullyAngelic

I???? Inspired you?????? Any design you come up with is delicious ❤️😭 I hope 2025 grants you everything you’ve ever dreamed of, my darling. ❤️ it has been an honour creating art alongside you

aliyah

the whole “🥺🥺 nobody likes me for all my objectively perfect hobbies” bit was funny but can we talk about when the F pulls it™️ out and he goes “you like it? because sometimes people say it’s too thick—” LMAO?? is there any problem god hasn’t bestowed on this poor, sensitive soul 😞😞

aliyah

i’m surprised he didn’t also begrudge himself for being so tall and buff but also huggable because it makes clothes too hard to find 💔 and then when he can find clothes they just get stolen by his lovers because they’re so oversized and cozy 💔💔 woe is him

kira ✨

i haven’t had time to listen to this and i am BUZZING FROM READING THE COMMENTJSFJ

kira ✨

OH MY FUCKISIGIAKTIAJF

Nono

“It’s never been like that” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

ArtfullyAngelic

WHEN HE LOST HIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT BUT THE WHOLESOMENESS KEPT KEEPING HIM ON TRACK EVEN WITH HER THIGHS IN HIS HANDS S C R E A M I N G

alisha 🌱

first of all, it's absolutely diabolical to drop this on my anniversary night, mr. inthewinter 😤 so i'm now many hours late to the party that is this comment section, but oh god this was the perfect audio to end the year on??? all the best tags have returned—and new favourites have been introduced!!—the script and acting are so witty and had me laughing aloud, the rapid transition from small town cutie pie to rough, frantic mdom with a sharp and filthy tongue?? this is everything i could ever ask for and more 🫠💖 thank you for an amazing year; spending 2024 with this amazing community has been so much fun, and i'm looking forward to all that 2025 will bring!! 💖✨️ i hope everyone's having a wonderful nye or new year!! i also realized that i shared my christmas illustration to the sfw audio and that only moans would see it there, so i figured i'd share it here too since—as @sam pointed out—the cabin setting and firelight is coincidentally referential to this audio~ 💖

alisha 🌱

it's not easy being speaker 😔 thank goodness for listener for taking one for the team 😔😔

aliyah

life with a massive dick that cums a lot must be SOOO hard ugh she’s so brave and charitable for dealing with him 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

alisha 🌱

@el: thank you so much and happy new year to you too, el!! also your new pfp is so gorgeous omg~ 💖💖

alisha 🌱

LUKEEE 💖 i'll take every version of him you've designed—but not in a fight 🫣 thank you for another batch of amazing portraits, and have a wonderful new year, lauren!!~

Effie

Can I also mention how much I am looking forward to the Moanys this year? Holy shit, talk about the competition.

𐔌 liah 𐦯

any book readers getting “how my neighbor stole christmas” vibes from this audio???

alisha 🌱

the voting is going to be so tough!! i feel like i have way too many favourites from this year alone!!

Effie

omg same. He worked his ass off this year, fr. I mean, we got Palentine's for the anniversary. And it just kept getting better - like HOW

alisha 🌱

YES!! this year went from spies, to the drive-in, to the potion audio... the absolute range he's given us has been wild this year

Deja

Mmm...this audio makes me think of if a lumberjack Christmas Village figurine became sentinent and found someone who matched his freak HARD I loved it so much 😭😭 and bc I just listened to ur 2024 ins and outs, I absolutely loved the gruffier voice in this one 🫶🏾🫶🏾

Amy Untamed

“To the trees” don’t I’m crying 😂😂😂

kira ✨

okay update i am now having time to listen: being funny as fuck and sexy as fuck UGH GIRL NOT FAIR !!!!!!!!

kira ✨

sir not my wig fucking SENTTTT MEEEEEEE

kira ✨

lauren. i am never going to get tired of your art. please god never stop!!!!!!! RAHHHHH 🩷🥹🎉🕺🤩

kira ✨

ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR QUEEEN!!!

kira ✨

also happy new year yall im very glad to have joined this year 🫶🥰

burntstrawberrytoast

bro even the ‘ptui’ when you spit on it has done something horribly irrevocable to my brain. i will never recover august

Huniii

Giving Leonard from Big Bang Theory with the whole "Do you want a foot massage?🙄🙄" Plenty of laughs and orgasms to this one thank yewwwwwwwww

Huniii

I LOVE KISSING AND CHRISTMAS

kira ✨

i just finished it yeah this is fucking DIABOLICAL

Effie

Alishaaaaaa, watching that piece of art come together was one of my highlights of this year - seriously. There's something about your work that makes the little lineart gremlin in my brain go NOMNOMNOM. And with the color, it's just masterful. I love it so much <3 (Not to mention the correlation with this audio - OHMYGAWD). Happy New Year, lovely!

💕Lauren💕

@Jen Omg😭 my notifications suckk, but thank you, Jen!! Of course, you have inspired me! I've been lurking in the past audios to see your art and everything! As for Luke, I’m so glad you like it😭😭 I had so much fun!! I hope 2025 is a good year for you as well💕💕

💕Lauren💕

@alisha LOL there’s plenty to share I’m sure😭 I’m happy you like them all! Thank you for all your compliments and art this year!

💕Lauren💕

@Kira Thank you!!😆 You’re too sweet! I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my art. I hope to stay inspired! Love your new pfp too!!💕

alisha 🌱

@freya: hehe i love feeding the little lineart gremlins in our brains 🤭🥰 thank you so much for all of your love and for always rooting for me whenever i share my wips!! and happy new year to you too, beautiful freya!! 💖💖

alisha 🌱

absolutely agreed with your comments and updates, but also omg hello to your stunning new pfp!! 💖💖 happy new year, you cutie!!~

alisha 🌱

where can i place my reservation to try out both menus?? they both sound delicious 🤭🥰 happy new year, gabriella!!~

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Omg happy anniversary, I hope you felt cherished!! And I hope you’re having a lovely NYE too💓. And what a gift, to get this present for the Cumsluts, on your anniversary 🙂‍↕️🏳️

kira ✨

YOURE SO SWEET I CANNOT 😭🩷 happy new year gorgeous!!!!!!!!

Aali

Omg this audio did numbers on me I swear

alisha 🌱

@gabriella: it was a special day for sure!! 💖 i hope your nye has also been a wonderful one too!! and i live to serve all the amazing cumsluts here 🫡💖🥛 you especially, president!! omg wait i should've added a glass of milk for our cumslut nation—maybe even make it a glass of warm milk so that it's a reference to the just grinding audio??? maybe for next month's illustration!! 🤭

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

"Oh, I didn't see you there L. I was packing lunches for the local orphans before my nightly tongue exercises"

Val 🌸

I LOVEEEE the after sex conversation 😝 “I have a ladder”…..

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Lauren, the first holiday page did so much psychic damage, obsessed with every guy on that page, particularly the one holding the thigh omgomgomggg. And I wasn't even on the Luke train, but these images...maybe I get it a little! Thank you for sharing your art with us; I'm so glad this community has given you the space to try new things! You should be really proud of yourself, your work is lovely!!! I hope you're having a wonderful NYE! 🥳

aliyah

where-oh-where could he find the time for dating when he spends so much time volunteering at the children’s outdoor school before breaking his hip-thrust PR *again* at the gym (he built himself) (scandi style)!

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

@makenzi: In this wonderland, this menu could absolutely be devoured before anal with no problems. Gastrointestinal sexual magic! @alisha: he's got more than enough love (and dick) to share; I'm sure we can just walk in! Happy new year, alisha!! 🥰

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Yes, I can eat you out again! I budgeted in the time before choral practice with the elderly at the community center 🥰. Lie down 🍴

aliyah

i know a leather-bound, locally made, recyclable and plastic free planner hates to see him coming! speaking of coming, he should probably pick up a plan B and your favorite ice cream… if he’s late, it’s just because so many fragile old ladies needed his help crossing the street. 💔

Madi

This is brilliant

Madi

“We’ve barely had any misunderstandings or arguments” 😅 so brilliant. Also the change in his voice after the kiss 🥵 damn

💕Lauren💕

This is really fav piece of yours, I think I stared at it for about 20 minutes trying to rack my brain around the augustverse loll! You killed it!! I love the stockings and train btw💕 Happy anniversary!!!!

💕Lauren💕

@Gabriella TYSM! That means so much. I’m glad you noticed the silly thigh worship lolll it’s from one of the DT audios or his AMAs! And please join the Luke train, It’s fun here! 🙂‍↕️I’m so honored you like them all and I hope you have a good NYE and 2025!!

alisha 🌱

@lauren: rahhh omg i'm so happy to hear that this ended up as your favourite!! 🥹 it's always so much fun collecting references, and knowing that y'all are just as knowledgeable about the augustverse to catch them all!! thank you so much, and happy new year, lauren!! 💖✨️

WriterGirl

Oh my gosh this is exactly what I needed. I’m not kidding. I have been working all year on this project that — without getting into too much triggering detail — has been about a lot of objectively terrible, abusive people. And I didn’t realize until quite recently that it was affecting my feelings about men and sex in general. I’m sure this sounds corny, but these audios and this community, which I ran into only a few weeks ago, have actually been so helpful in dealing with this. It’s just nice to hear that people truly can be hilarious and sexy and respectful at the same time. I hope you all have just the most wonderful New Year. 🫶

alisha 🌱

i'm glad that you've been able to find a space that is safe for you to heal in! this community really is such a wonderfully positive and special one, and i'm so happy to see you here! i hope 2025 brings you a lot of joy, healing, and a myriad of positive memories!! happy new year!! 💖

chloe

the kissing at the end… he’s a lil tender with it y’all

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

I’m happy this place provides a bit of respite and a way to experience delight!! Happy New Year 🪩🥳

Pie 🥧

I finally got to finish the audio. Loool. My favorite parts aren’t even the sexy parts 😭 the sound August made when the speaker was cutting down the tree was hilarious. 😭 then the comment about the quality of the pants/bottoms made me laugh out loud. I’m celebrating new years alone accompanied with this audio and a bunch of romance books, so I don’t wallow in loneliness. Happy New Year! 🫰

Marcy Aberder

This sat in my notes for a while but CITY GURLS UP A MILLION 💅 Humor was good enough that I stayed in the moment despite the cheesiness. No one talks with pussy in their mouth like you, some of your best work. Love how cum drunk speaker sounded. “I can taste my own cum on your lips” more of this 🙏🏽. The way you say city girl feels like you said “whore” great work. “You like me causally slapping your face with my cock” lmaooooo. “Get you fucking pregnant so you have to stay here with me “ might actually be the most possessive and unhinged thing you’ve ever said. I didn’t have a breeding kink before this patron. More of this forever 🧎🏽‍♀️.That line also makes me sad, it’s such a lonely thing to say. “You don’t know what it’s like to only get laid around Christmas” I love the idea of a guy who is basically the npc romance interest in every hallmark movie only to get broken up with after the credits roll. He’s so used to playing the part and it’s the only connection he ever gets with people. He suppresses other parts of himself and we see him finally get to break out of the role. You emphasize that with the diabolical voice changes 😳. Not to over analyze but I think it’s healthy meta take on the “perfect guy”. Doing everything to try to be perfect prevents you from being vulnerable and honest and making a deeper connection. He suppressed part of himself and that might be a big reason why his previous relationships fell apart . Speaker is a “Mary Sue” people get sick of that eventually. Through FUCKING THE SHIT out of listener they learn the true meaning of Christmas … being who you really are. Even if none of that was your intent great writing .

Amanda

Jesus 🥵 Adding a hungry boy with a deep voice on my 2025 vision board 😋😅

Amanda

GIRL 😅😅

pumpkin ky 🥧🎃🕯️

i WILL be back to essay the long johns off this sweet man when i have time to do my august homework, but until then: i am so happy. this was so fun and funny and corny and horny and a friggin MEAL mamma mia get me on a train to mistleton STAT‼️ 🥰

charlie

be who you are, for your pride... and we learned this lesson through the power of the full nelson

✨Vi✨

Yessss. So silly but so cute!! I melted right away

💕Lauren💕

This is beautiful, youre an amazing writer! I never thought about it that way. I honestly thought it was because they were always too perfect, but maybe that’s the issue, it got boring. Reminds me of a book I read a while back.

Amie In Wonderland

not me googling what position a full nelson is🤭 i fully thought he meant a headlock for entirely too long

WriterGirl

Oh good it wasn’t just me. 😆Side note: The WebMD sexual health entry on it was worth a chuckle. The fact they felt compelled to include a section on risks of penis injury. 🙈

seatsniffer

idc anymore. Thanks for taking my fucking virginity with this audio august.

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

1) Okay. I have to learn how to talk about the cum stuff because it's clear you're only going to get worse, and you deserve to hear positive, respectful feedback. So I will learn to translate drool into words 🙄. For this M who doesn't get to celebrate his sexuality and indulge, I really love that he got to glaze this L and really see the profundity of his horniess. He exploded like a party popper. I don’t know if there was actually a pause or time just stopped for me as I whispered prayers about what he would do with the cum, but superlative building of anticipation in the seconds before he started rubbing it on L’s skin. I know I’m going crazy when I start making requests like the Speaker can hear me 🥴😵‍💫. That was good, and I’m happy for L getting anointed by this sex god *eye twitching*. It was also Good when he used cum as lube at the end. That felt like a transmission, something shifted permanently (in my brain chemistry). L was already on board with getting used elevendy-twelve different ways till 2025, but that felt like the moment of perfect ownership. He's going to tie her to his Nordic-style table, and I couldn’t be happier for this L (I am incandescent with envy 🔫). Really great cum stuff. The cock slaps that sounded like they should crack her skull were also very very Good 🙂 2) I mentioned under Slutty Friend that, for Doms of the ACU, creating a fulfilling slutty experience for their subs is paramount. This Speaker, being used to creating experiences for others and performing a role perfectly, is theoretically primed to be the paradigmatic ACU Dom. Except! He is never the subject of these encounters, only an object, a vessel through which others can find catharsis for their complicated holiday feelings. He’s internalized the projections of the random people who briefly stay in Mistleton for the holidays, leaving little room for his own subjectivity. He doesn’t even masturbate, a way to explore and celebrate your sexual tastes with total focus on your own desires. So while he is perfect, I agree with @Marcy Aberder: it's really hard to get traction on perfect. He's not really there. He can't be, or at least he *thought* he couldn't provide fulfilling slutty experiences while also being a subject in these encounters and being honest about his desires. I already said it, but I’m going to say it again! I’m really really delighted by the Slut Encouragement of the Speaker here. He’s finally able to be fully himself: corny, horny, earnest, insatiable, demented. All his parts are celebrated by an L who is equally depraved and understands that he is no less unrelenting because he is so so earnest. In fact, they inform each other. That’s lovely, especially because he was so lonely before 😭. Wait till he finds out about ENM! I'm excited for him to finally start sharing things he doesn't like or that tick him off (he'll start small, maybe it really grinds his gears when he only has enough time to make L cum twice). Really sick that you were able to include a theme that feels true to the holiday season for you (indulgence & joy + melancholy) in this balls-to-the-wall nasty fuckfest. You continue to terrify with each audio being so fucking good jfc. Okay. Attempting to shut the fuck up about this one. Thank you, August! 💗

riri

This audio was really great to end the year. I don’t know why, but their dynamic reminded me a bit of Popeye and Olive. I think it suits them quite well. The beginning was hilarious, and the transition to the spicy part was so well done; it didn’t feel like they had known each other for just nine minutes and a few seconds. Btw I'm sure he was able to cut down the tree 🌲 so quickly because he had some spinach. I think I'm onto something... Or not 🥸 Happy new year to one of my favorite corner on the internet 🥳🎉

DivineFeminine

“So I will learn to translate drool into words 🙄” That’s powerful and sooo real. Always love reading your essays Gabriella! 💕

DivineFeminine

When he’s not saving the forest or reading contemporary poetry anthologies, he writes his own harp compositions inspired by the sounds of the Forest. His original tracks like “Whispers of the Forest” and “Harping in the Wind” have a modest following on Spotify (mostly other harp enthusiasts, a few curious squirrels 🐿️ , & an elderly man named Leonard who lives two towns over). August, this was soooo fucking good 👏👏 I hope you had as much fun writing / recording this as we had listening because it’s absolutely hilarious💀 The cheesy dialogue, the meta elements, the absolute soft top that this man is…I LOVE IT, I love it all. 💕 •“Maybe we should just listen…Shhhhh….To the treessss” The man is a certified tree whisperer 🤫🌲 •“and write down five things I’m grateful for and one thing I could improve at in my journal” Of course he journals 😭💀 & writes one thing he can improve upon “spend less time perfecting the lattice on my apple pies” 🥧 •”People don’t like it when you tune up their car or sing their favorite song softly in their ear as they fall asleep in your arms, do you want a foot massage?” He’s charming, he’s humble, and he’s probably fictional. Probably. •THE DEEP VOICE?!?! The spit, the oral and the s p a n k i n g ?! Unreal! Do it again. •”some people kinda implied it was too thick” Casually whips out Thor’s hammer 😩 •“You wanna see me stroke it?” LOVED when this happened in the “Too tired to go out” audio. No thoughts, 1000/10. 🤯 •26:00 From eating her out?! [LOUD SCREAMING] •Cum on face/body ✨+225 Energy + 101 Health ✨ •[Full Nelson] TAG ME IN COACH. 🤼 •”We do get the internet out here” Ummm…what else is on his search history 👀 •Nobody’s ever sucked on my tongue before” D E C E A S E D 🫠🫠🫠 Thank you August for another fantastic year of audios! Wishing everyone a Happy 2025! 🍾🎊✨

daahling

This is giving..."Have yourself a merry little fuckmas." 🎄🤣

Veee

Baby boy went to Ho in Town Buffet (sorry, I will see myself out)

Veee

🎵9 minutes and he cums inside me, just called him daddy, is it casual now? 🎶

Veee

a punch in the gut!

Veee

jaw on the floor, teeth scattered 😮‍💨

Veee

hollering at this comment 😭

DivineFeminine

OMG I love this!! Here are my guesses minus the Full Nelson 💻 ✅ Hand-carved wooden furniture assembly tutorials but make it sensual ✅ Sensual massage techniques for relaxation and mindfulness ✅ Cockslut ✅ Spitplay ✅ Brat ✅ Bondage ✅ Breeding

Veee

thank you for asking the real question because as someone who grew up watching WWE, I clutched my pearls a bit

Veee

🎶I know what the trees tell you, it's casual, this is casual. Baby cover me in goo. Is it casual? Are we casual?"🎵 (i'm so sorry. i'm done 💀)

Amazonia

Answer the question city girl!!!! Oh God!!!

pumpkin ky 🥧🎃🕯️

your first point is so real bc idk how long i can afford to keep being coy about it. i love it i just cANT TALK ABOUT IT. i just want to point at other people talk about it but like you said, my god, i think he's only going to get worse 🥲 and yes x 100,000 to everything in your second point too. omg. the masters program analysis that you're churning out is insane. and also inspiring! i love reading your thoughts gabriella!!!!

rachel 🍓

The 25th may have been a week ago, but everything about this has me feeling like it’s Christmas morning and Santa left me ✨exactly ✨what I wanted under the tree. This was my pick of the tied scenarios, and Speaker is completely the Pleasure Dom dual-wielding praise + degradation I had on my wish list. He’s gingerbready sugar + spice; he delights in the giving as much, if not more, than the receiving—isn’t that what the holiday season is all about? Plus the pent-up dimension accentuating his insatiable appetite for orgasms… 🦴🐺🥵 Your mind! I’m as serious as hypothermia (“you’re shivering 😳”) when I say this is one of my favorite things you’ve ever created. I’m gonna be like those people who listen to Christmas music in July, except instead of Bing Crosby it’ll be Christmas Tree Guy in my ears when it's 90º F outside! 🎄 • “Maybe I’m just not adventurous enough… All I do all day is work at the tree farm, protect the biodiversity of the forest, and make Nordic-style wooden furniture 🫤” made me laugh SO loudly that a family member interrupted my first listen to ask what was so funny…I said, “a comedy podcast” 🤷🏻‍♀️🤥 My motivation for wanting this scenario to win was because I *KNEW* you’d excel at the cheesy dialogue. The sky's the limit when it comes to your comedic chops; you had me 🎶laughing all the way🎶 to the sex part! I hope you cracked yourself up writing/performing this!
 • Super into the continued exploration of [size] stuff after how much I enjoyed it with the Brute! Speaker’s ability to singlehandedly run a sled through the snow, carrying a whole fucking tree AND Listener, made my immersion for the [full nelson] seamless (such a hot position debut, btw; your narration was divine!). Not to mention how good the “fat fucking cock” talk included in [size] is! 🪵🧎🏻‍♀️
 • @Moira and I have been discussing [massage] scenarios in comments for a while now, so seeing it in this tag list was a surprise gift! 💝 You’re brilliant to use it as the bridge where the 🌽corny🌽Hallmark stuff (conveyed in the dialogue/fireplace setting) + the 😈horny😈 trope of a massage escalating to sex acts collide with each other to transform into the filthy twist. I find this beat to be a microcosm of the way the maximalism in your play with tropes overall totally works. More IS more; extreme silly begets extreme sexy!
 • I dole out superlatives in every comment section lmao, but PLEASE trust me when I say the pussy eating + face riding scene in this is one of *the hottest* things I’ve ever heard… Jesus fucking Christ(mas)!!! Hips off the ground!💥 SPITTING on it!💥 SPANKING L to encourage them to fuck his face faster!💥 Hair pulling! 💥 S getting off on tasting L as he touches himself!!!! 🎶Oh what fun it is to ride🎶 indeed! 🛷🤠
 • In many ways I’m basically an Act I Hallmark movie FMC (grew up in a rural, evergreen-tree-covered, mountain town; left to move to one of the biggest of Big Cities for her career; returns to the aforementioned small town every Christmas), so the “city slut”/“city girl” degradation/pet names are a 10000/10 🎯💘🧨
 • The [cumplay],...!!!,;,.,, shooting a huge load all over L and THEN he RUBS IT IN/SPREADS IT AROUND??? cock slaps on L’s cum-glazed face???? “I can taste my own cum on your lips”????? 🆘⚠️🚨😵🥊 How can anyone expect me to be polite about this??? I MUST recuse myself. I scream about the cum stuff all the time; it’s no secret how I feel! 2024 was a banner year for the cum enjoyers. Cum-focused audio is IN for 2025. 🏳️🥛🤍
 • [Overstim] is a huge kink of mine, and if the oral hadn’t left me Cooked already, Speaker repeatedly pulling out to grind his cock on L’s clit + tease her as she’s sensitive would’ve done the trick.😵‍💫⚡️35:48-37:02… I don’t have the words (rare), so to borrow from The Bard: “Now I am dead, Now I am fled; My soul is in the sky.” 🪽🕯️
 • “I want another one, I want another one, I want you to cum,” in that slurred fucking voice + all the praise as S fingers/grinds a final O out of an overstimmed L… ⛹🏻‍♀️🎁🥰💐
 • “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for being such a good girl for me.” Chat, is gratitude kink a thing? Is it embarrassing that I know *exactly* which DT that phrase debuts in? Looooved hearing it again in a scripted piece!
 • MDoms who devolve to a degree of horniness that keeps them on just this side of totally unravelling while having their Fs exactly how they want are a specialty of yours. 🧶😌❤️‍🔥 In shambles over this Speaker starting out as a substantial Yapper and getting to a lust-addled “I don’t even know what I said.” place by the end.
 Well, you’ve upheld my hypothesis that the “silly” concepts become some of the filthiest audios of the AITW oeuvre! 😀🫵🏼 ⭐️ No one else is doing silly + sexy like this... idk if it’s a result of “funny audios” being an In for 2024, but regardless—this was singularly hot + uniquely fun + I’d love to keep hearing silliness from you in the future! 2024 was my first full calendar year as a Patron and everything about being here has blown me away. I’ll reserve my sappiest sentiments for the anni celebrations in the coming months, but: 1. Thank you so much, August, for your dedication to this platform + the stunning work of 2024! 2. Thank you so much to everyone in this wonderful community for being a dependable source of joy and reflection! Happy New Year all! 🥂💌

rachel 🍓

jdkjsktjrk I was so flustered and “my Audio Porn Guy is being goofy 🙂” was certainly NOT an option! 😭

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

I knew this one would kill you dead, and I'm glad it did 🥀 (affectionate). Just an onslaught of things you've been gorgeously musing on. “I can taste my own cum on your lips" is still setting my teeth on edge, I don't know what to do with myself!!!!!! And yes, omg he's a comedian!!!! I vaguely remember from an AMA his saying something like, "I don't want people to listen and think 'oh, this guy thinks he's really funny 🙄'". But like.... what if you *are* really funny? Then what???????? This comment is perfect and will accompany the audio in this month's publication of the Journal of Audio Erotica. Attempting to choose a favorite point from this feast you've offered: "I find this beat to be a microcosm of the way the maximalism in your play with tropes overall totally works. More IS more; extreme silly begets extreme sexy!
". YES. And, with the rubber band pulled so tight in one direction, it's possible that its opposite could feel jarring, but they never do!!! We're just getting to learn more and more about the breadth of these characters' desires (to be a silly goose AND to grind on your friend outside a Sobrina Corpenter concert). I'd attribute these feeling like revelations to his A+ pacing skills.

GeauxGabby

LISTEN. On the week of the FINAL Monday Night RAW on USA ever before it switches to Netflix, he pulls this out and expects us who grew up on wrestling to NOT be scratching our heads and reaching for the Google machine?!

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Leonard has taste!!! I think Depraved Holemark man is also looking up: ✅ Ways to use leftover egg yolks ✅ Cornflakes + masturbation? ✅ Rewilding your lawn ✅ Revolutionizing green spaces ✅ Do squirrels know you love them?

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

@DivineFeminine: awww thank you!!! I'm always shocked by how many thoughts the audios make me have. Thank you for reading, I always love reading your lovely prose 💗 @ky: If this and DT #23 were warning (cum)shots, then I need to find the words NOW before it's too late, and I physically cannot do it. He's so scary. And omg that's too sweet 🥺. I am, as always, soooo looking forward to your essay, sat with a totally normal about of enthusiasm💺💗

rachel 🍓

Dying over your headcanon re: Speaker’s harp music Spotify following 😭🌲 I wonder if he’s ever been invited to perform for his fellow Mistletons at the Sugar Plum Street Enchanted Festival of Lights? I sure hope so given his clear passion for the event! 💜 Nodding along with all of your bullet points, but must yap more about 26:00… it is ABSOLUTELY scream-worthy, I’m crumbling over the way it sounds like the sheer intensity of it took him by complete surprise + the apologizing???? 🫠🌋🪂 new Speaker O for the Hall of Fame! 🏆

DivineFeminine

@Gabriella 🥭 omg Cornflakes + masturbation…hold on lemme google something💀 Being that he is a nature man himself and he talks & listens to the trees, I have no doubt the squirrels love him. 🐿️ @rachel 🍓Oh for sure, he even composes original songs just for the event! 🎶❄️ EXACTLY! This man knows how to emulate the most unreal, sensuous energy in a scene. I’m obsessssssed with the whole thing. Instant favorite! 🙌

rachel 🍓

@Gabriella 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 I’ve said it before and I’ll surely say it again: you know me so well! This one really DID pack in a bunch of stuff I’ve been yammering about lately… feeling like a very lucky girl! 🍀 The S tasting his cum on L’s mouth thing feels so *dangerously* close to [snowballing] I can barely stand it… a tease! If the [anal] girlies can be patient, I can too! ⚪️😇🕯️ Omfg I remember that AMA remark now that you bring it up haha I do hope this audio served as a vehicle for Comedic Self-Indulgence™️ bc my enjoyment of it applies in the context of the sexy stuff + the silly stuff! We’re all having fun! 💕 “Sobrina Corpenter” 😭 totally agree that the pacing is huge in the success of conveying the breadth of desires infused into each character in the ACU… which ofc contributes to all of them feeling so grounded + multi-faceted, regardless of whether they’re a pent-up Corny Christmas Tree Farmer or our Goofy Friend wielding popsicles or an Ancient Demon we’ve summoned into our living room! What I’m saying is all roads lead back to August being a mega-talented writer!! ⭐️📝

wiggie

LAUREN QUEEN SLAAAAYYYYY‼️👶🏼📈 oh my goodness wowowowow. gorgeous and devastating (pos) as always, mr. luke will be the death of me. hi sir!! 🤭 happy new year to you!!

rachel 🍓

“it’s clear you’re only going to get worse” aksjskujlk it’s hysterical to me that us Cumsluts have been given such generous gifts month after month and we’re all like, “Hey, this avalanche of cum business is actually So So So Good that I can’t discuss it, thanks bye!!!” (me included obv 😭). Leave it to you, Gabriella, to break the ice and write such a stupendous [cum kink] think-piece!!! 👏🏼🤍 “…he is no less unrelenting because he is so so earnest. In fact, they inform each other.” REBLOG, RETWEET, CO-SIGN!!! This reminds me so much of our convo in the thread of @sarah’s comment on the Secret Santa Vibe audio re: the Tutor Archetypes’ respectful politeness/rule-boundedness informing their capacities for filthiness! It’s a wonderful analysis of the way August approaches characters. Fundamental aspects of their personalities + their lived experiences always seem to resonate in the mood of the sex/acts performed in the audios! 😍

raspberry98

No I don’t think you understand IM OBSESSED

💕Lauren💕

Another great review thank you🙂‍↕️Party Popper killed me lmaooo I really like the idea that he couldn’t be himself because he was only there to be a ‘small town guy’ during the holidays for the tourists and everything. He’s also such an oblivious character, he probably didn’t catch any hints of interest from other people which might have been the cause of his issue. Either way, I wholeheartedly agree with everything lol, more slaps, cum play, and L breaking the plot cycle.

Effie

Oh, sweetie. I feel for you. I've been putting off starting my next project for that exact reason - I'm scared to go there in my head. I am so glad you found this community. I'm another one of his fans that has found healing in his work and it's such an unexpected thing to happen, isn't it? It's such a personal and profound thing that I can't picture any other medium being able to do and he's just so thoughtful and thorough with his writing and performances. It just brings thoughts to the surface that we usually wouldn't consider. I am sending you the good juju as you continue to work on your project. Have a wonderful new year! <3

Effie

Dana! I love that woman so much. I have a PR friend that can do a SPOT ON imitation of her and it always has me rolling. "The GLAM"

adrian ⛓️

32:52 SPEAKER'S ASS MENTIONED LFG 🚨🚨🚨🚨

💕Lauren💕

@Wiggie I was waiting for you omgg😭😭 You always notice my lil notes I hide for myself. This time, I drew that queen just for you, I’m so happy you like it!! I hope this year is good to you🎉

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

She’s an absolute mood!!!!! Been follow her for a while! That’s why in my head she’s listener 😂😂🩵🩵🫶🏼🫶🏼

guilty_ofloey

sugar plum street enchanted festival of lights is gonna be my stripper name

guilty_ofloey

he’s so corny and annoying i want him bad

bookerror

Cracking up so much listening to the meetcute and his hobbies 😭😭😭

kaspr

“we’ve only known each other for 9 minutes …” took me out 💀

Dafina

I can feel it… I can feel it in my bones the self-respect leaving my body when he calls me “good girl”

Dafina

I WANT TO BITE THIS ANNOYING CHATTY AUGUST I FEEL LIKE I’m morphing into a werewolf with a full moon AWOOOOOOO 🚶🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️🐕‍🦺

WriterGirl

“My Audio Porn Guy” loooolll. Honestly, is there a reason this stuff isn’t called “aurotica”? The portmanteau is *right there*.

WriterGirl

LOL see I’m like “Yes! *Finally*. Thank you for noticing.” Very respectful.

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

@rachel 🍓: lmaooooo thank you 😊. What am I gonna do when a Listener character licks cum off the floor or snowballs with a Speaker???? If I don't start talking about it, I will be powerless to do so when the horrors start. I will become completely nonverbal. And yes!!! Now to daydream about the complex character dynamics between our future snowballers! 💭⚪ @🎉Lauren 🐺⚡️🎉: thank you thank you 😁! And totally re him also discounting the possibility of others also wanting more/something different. He was finally ready when this L showed up, and their mental sexual puzzle pieces thankfully fit together nicely!

Gilliebean

The first few minutes had me cackling omfg Edited to add: Not all of the reasons speaker is “BORING” IM LITERALLY DYING ITS SO FUNNY

El

Corrupting? It sound's like he was pretty corrupt on his own 👀 Also all the of the hallmark clichés being jampacked in the first 11 minutes of this audio was the funniest thing 🤣

Page Chase

There's an entire AO3 tag for that lol.

wiggie

this makes me so happy gaaaahhh💖💖

moira 🎃👻

please picture my post-holidaze brain defrosting so I can write this comment 🧊 (it’s timeeeeeeeeeee): there’s so much good shit in here: ❄️ the entire concept of speaker character being desperate and pent-up bc ofc in this hallmark-esque universe, he only has one Christmas-liaison a year is so good. whatever the concept is, you always elevate it to a place i would never think to go with it! i love how much your situations inform the dynamics between the characters. this could have been a straight up hallmark-holiday cheese fest, but it’s so much more!!! ❄️ speaking of which, I love the idea of using up all the dirtiest suggestions for this speaker character bc he only sees action once a year is *mwah* 💋. fantastic way to work in the [cumplay], [full nelson], [overstim], and [cock slapping]. I was sat 🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️seeing how this speaker character just devolved into messier, hornier, sluttier things bc he realized he can let loose on this listener character. ❄️ [Cumplay] goes hard, as always ☺️ love the excess of cum on this one, and smearing it into her skin? 🥰 “I can taste my own cum on your lips” made my eyes roll back… 🤨🫵🏻 I will wait Right Here sir, for our licking-cum-off-the-floor audio!!! 🥛🏳️ ❄️ okay [overstim] is my fav, but specifically that moment where Listener’s clit is too sensitive, and she keeps jumping off his cock… 🤤 so we switch to clit-grinding? incredible. ❄️ [full nelson] I scream-giggled when I saw this tag, I was so excited. perfectly executed new position, loved how mindless the dialogue gets here, including “using all your holes”… was that a little hint you were thinking about anal for this audio? 🫡 I anticipate and fear the day I see that [anal] tag, bc I might finally pass out mid-O… 🫣 On top of all that, I was literally giggling and kicking my feet for the first 9 minutes. I know I’m gonna be cracking up during our accent stream. Thank you for this year of audios, August!! It’s actually amazing to see how many bangers came out this year (pun intended) (omg reading this back, double pun actually!), but I think it just shows how talented you are, and your commitment to producing quality content. Can’t wait for 2025!

moira 🎃👻

ik I also missed the notification for this and the last audio!!

Liv

Funny, great at dirty talk, a GIVER, AND a deep voice???? August is the ideal man

charlie

LMFAOOOOO 😭😭😭 idk why this is making me laugh so hard, it's just such a long name

guilty_ofloey

RIGHT? and said so fast almost like a tongue twister, great skills august 👀

kenna

This but it’s my drag name

Huniii

realizing we were sat ontop of ur face for majority of the audio hallelujah

𝖆𝖑𝖞

HALLMARK ENDING PART 2: The city listener shows up again the morning after the festival and she decided to quit her job and go after the annoyingly cliche love interest because she cannot continue on in life without his dick being in it. I am literally dying for a happy ending lmao

WriterGirl

Until this audio, I didn’t realize intentionally comedic porn or erotica could even be a thing. Is it a thing? It seems terribly difficult to execute well, and I have a sneaking suspicion that this might the only place to find it done properly (although, blasphemously, I’m open to additional recommendations).

WriterGirl

@Gabriella Me too! And I love your essays. They crack me up. (BTW sorry, I’m not entirely sure how to properly respond to a response on this platform. It tells me I’m responding to you, but then it looks like I’m responding to myself. So … whatever. 🤷‍♀️)

morgan.

The way the whole first half of this audio had me giiiiiggling. You nailed the Hallmark tropes. 😂

kaye

HOLY SHITTTT ITS THE FULL NELSON TAG MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED

Ynara

Has been quite some time since I visited the xxx websites but I definitely remember Parody/Comedy being a whole category on some

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Cumsluts have to prepare for a *grueling* 2025. NEED that cum off the floor audio expeditiously!!!! And omg I'm so woefully unprepared for an anal audio, and he keeps making THREATS 😱. And yes, "using up all the dirtiest suggestions for this speaker character bc he only sees action once a year". Typically, I love a breeding moment, and they feel playful and intense and hot, but this one, this instance of "get you pregnant" feels scary. "Oh shit, this extremely hot pent-up pleasure dom whose brain is now addled by both my and his cum actually....might fr fr knock me up and keep me here to use me". VERY scary, and then immediately EUPHORIA. He sprinkled a little primal energy on this "get you pregnant", and I nearly got hit by a car (I was sitting at my desk).

ArtfullyAngelic

It’s hilarious how I’ll be working on one thing, August drops an audio and I drop everything I’m doing the moment inspiration hits. 😌 Although it was only finished today, I’d like to include it with the other artworks done for Augustverse 2024 (I’ll have to upload them all together in one place) This audio??? Life changing. The comedy, the cringe, the immersive experience your audios provide are always top tier and I can’t sing your praises enough. I found you sometime almost a year ago and I’m so grateful for the creativity you’ve brought into my life just by creating your own masterpieces and putting so much effort and care into each audio you put out for us. I’d also like to thank this community for being a safe space to comment, share and discuss theories or freak out over the filthiest lines ever dropped (my gOD???) Anyway, happy new year, I’m not good w backgrounds EDIT: now with a new link?? Because apparently this one is too hot to handle https://ibb.co/3NzzD8B https://ibb.co/t802b1q

tsukiiiii

When you say “Only known each other for 9 minutes”, I check the progress bar and it is! So funny😆

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

Jen NEVER disappoints! Best believe that whenever an audio drops, I’ll be (im)patiently waiting dir your artwork drop! This one is absolutely stunning! And we all know EXACTLY which moment this is 🔥🔥🔥 the lighting, the atmosphere, the colour palette, you nail it every single time! Thank you for sharing this with us, you gorgeous woman, you!

val ☆

i guess this is how they get down on sugar plum lane omg

💕Lauren💕

Jen😭😭 I wanna see your piece so baddd, but the link isn’t working, I think it’s my phone, but plz send it again if you can🙏🏾

Ynara

I just got to listening to this last night and I need to know what you put into these holiday audios. Couldn't have cared less about a parody audio but I seriously found myself laughing out loud at the beginning, the clichés were absolutely hilarious. And.. the "switch" from goofy stereotypes to dirty talk and it was one of the absolute best and hottest dirty talk you've done??? As I keep saying in every comment, you're outdoing yourself every. single. time. (And for everyone reading, I hope you had a good transition into the new year and have a wonderful 2025 ✨️)

💕Lauren💕

Yes! Thank you!! I love it! You draw bodies so well and I love the tattoos and ankle bracelet! You’re amazing😭😭😭 Always bringing the best scenes to life💕

WriterGirl

Not the holly tattoo!! 😆 ❤️

Veee

She comes to the realization around Valentine's Day. And he gets to fulfill the promise of...every hole? 🫣

Veee

I've said it before: August is fucking hilarious.

ArtfullyAngelic

@alisha 😭😭😭😭😭 stop I’m going to actively start crying HAHAHAH thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️ I’m so happy you like it ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for your last artwork it really helped me get the vibe right for this one hahaha just a couple of pals inspirin’ each other (‘:

✨Vi✨

[Getting into Bed on a December Night] When I slip beneath the quilt and fold into her warmth, I think we are like the pages of a love letter written thirty years ago that some aging god still reads each day and then tucks back into its envelope. -Ellen Bass

Veee

I am in awe of the way you masterfully dipped our toes into the ick and cringe only to yank us by the hair back into the most filthy and erotic audio experience. In the words of the lonely lumberjack: thankyouthankyouthank you

ArtfullyAngelic

@dana 😭😭😭 I wouldn’t have done this much without your support. Thank you for always looking forward to whatever doodle I come up with ❤️ ily bbgrill

ArtfullyAngelic

@Lauren the mooooment this happened in the audio my brain immediately clicked. So intimate and filthy 😭 thank you so much for sticking around and wanting to see what I come up with it means so much to me

ArtfullyAngelic

@WriterGirl !!!!!!! OUR BOY NEEDS CHRISTMAS THEMED TATTOOS hahaha Freya suggested it and I knew I had to do it

Naomi Corporan

Is anyone else having issues seeing the cover art for each audio? I just see his profile picture for every one. I tried re-downloading the app but no luck 😕

joe

BYE the corny dialogue is tooooo good. i just know some hallmark movies were watched for this

sarah 💫

Oh no, I’m not having any cover art issues (on iOS) but I heard the app can get finicky for android users or if it needs to update! Hope it gets fixed soon🤞🏼

asdfghjkl

yesss this is the one i voted for and it’s perfect

nasa 🧸

phew I thought I was the only one, I checked other creators that I follow and their covers are fine. but with what sarah said it might just be an android thing 😓

meow

lol just rewatched the holiday this is perfect

Effie

I still can't believe you did the tattoo. This may be my fav of yours so far. It's so spicy! I always look forward to seeing your art <3

skel

dude this is the funniest thing i've ever heard

noey

good god i need to be sedated

ArtfullyAngelic

@Freya IT WAS SUCH A CUTE IDEA I COULDNT PASS UP ❤️❤️❤️ ily thank you for supporting my shenanigans

GeauxGabby

I’ve been listening to this one nightly and then I realized Ive been listening to every new audio nightly. He’s really been hitting a stride for me personally this last 1-2 months? Is that something to explore in therapy next week? Probably. Am I practicing my happy baby yoga stretch in the hopes of one day turning it into a Full Nelson? Definitely.

Page Chase

The back dimples and butt tattoo will live in my brain rent free forever now omg.

Naomi Corporan

The one time I really regret having a samsung. If u figure out how to fix it lmk ❤️

sybilstarlingsnow ❄️

Not you being the first commentor I see since joining this Patreon. Hi Gabby! Not sure if you recall our interaction in [redacted]'s Patreon but you mentioned August so I just had to check him out on Reddit. Ma'am, I can't thank you enough because I'm officially obsessed. 🫠 I had no choice but to join his Patreon, like I was physically compelled to do so after a few listens. 😩 Thank you for spreading the good word, eternally grateful! 🥹❤️

ArtfullyAngelic

@Page Chase excellent 👹 it’s all coming together

GeauxGabby

HEY YOU BITCH!!!! 😍 And thank you for keeping me partially clandestine lol. And yeah. I only subscribe to 3 content creators. I think joining 3 cults is enough for one lifetime

sybilstarlingsnow ❄️

Lol, that's the least I could do since I'm already putting you on blast (apologies 😂). We're subbed to the same 3 creators now, lol. You have impeccable taste!

GeauxGabby

I’m nothing if not a true auralist. Lol.

GeauxGabby

Hey August if you see this comment thread this is living proof I am a disciple out here proselytizing and bringing new subscribers. Can we have that Buffy livestream trivia now? 😂

Space Lillies

Not even at the sex part but this dialogue is hilarious. “Quirks like 3 course meals must be from different cultures.” “I see a lot of people - rivals, enemies, secret royalty” I properly cackled.

Maggie

Speedoru makes super funny and well done animations - both nsfw and normal. Highly recommend!

MidnightHoney

not the hallmark spin Hahahahah love

Nya

Sometimes I truly hate being autistic. I love these audios too much. I always have to skip the kissing and pussy eating parts because of the mouth sounds. It’s like chewing with your mouth open, drives me nuts. I miss so much of these masterpieces because of it🥺😪 Either way these still always sound great<3

Effie

August, you are entirely too humble. This is definitely a comedy. A filthy, bendy, sweaty comedy.

sybilstarlingsnow ❄️

@Lola I'm already a different woman now than I was this time last week. I fear this man will be my demise. I... I think I'm okay with it, I've accepted my fate. 😭

Bweef

Omg I thought I was alone! I always skip those parts 🥹 but the audio is still so good 🩷🩷

Bweef

Future me are we giggling and kicking our feet

Bweef

I'm cringing so hard rn but in like a hallmark movie kinda cringe where ur smiling and u can't look away but u want to and it feels like ur being held hostage 😝😝😝 but no, we're not giggling, we're cackling lmaoo I love the little detail that it's "bad" acting dialogue 🤣 but then that means it's so good?? It's like when an actor can sing but has to act like they can't. This makes it a more convincing hallmark budget rom com 🫶😌

Bweef

"You call that quality? Where'd you buy those?" 😭✋️ BitCH

B

this is actually so funny wait 4:15😭

B

13:00-13:20 IM LITERALLY CRYING😭😭

Veee

it's giving romance novels being self-referencial in the best way possible

roxy

The secret royalty part got me cackling 😭 somebody did his hallmark movie homework 🥹👏

Rya Li

im gonna be real yall this one is my favorite. its intense its funny its hot its everything for me. 12/10. like. agh

Rya Li

the jokes at the end WRECKED me. like. after 4 orgasms i was vulnerable why did i fall in love w this guy august you are HILARIOUS

Echo

Future me how corny and hot is this audio? Did we enjoy it? 🫣🤔

Echo

🫢 shock, pure shock. Dude we zoned out for a bit and then this man said some of the most dirtiest shit we've ever heard in the deepest voice ever 🤤😵‍💫

M

Also joining the club for a licking cum off the floor audio 🙋🏻‍♀️🥵

erin 🤸‍♂️

instructions unclear: i now have a nine foot tall balsam fir in my 500 sq ft apartment.

Caitlin 🩷🌻 (chappelmoan)

Any chance this character is based on a real person and if so can you please direct me towards that man please and thank you I love the cheese

Jenn

This is peak comedy

KWoww

The deep, raspy voice is just next level.

dangie 💌

this dude sounds like he was talking like this ☝🏼🤓 the whole time, august please HAHAHAH

raspberry98

I genuinely can’t stop listening like omfg

Lena ✨️

He reminds me of Ted from Schitt's Creek 😅

vvvin

10:11 i’m so late but the “secret royalty”.. not The Princess Switch shade 💀

Mantis

🙂‍↕️🤝

Capy

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

S

@ who ever said they share their favorite vas with their mom, I immediately thought of this. she loves these movies and i think she'd love this but that is not possible to show her lol.

bagel

This is going to be one of my top 3 favorite audios. Love comedy + rough sex. 5:30-6:00 Trying so hard not to laugh too loud in the office.🤣 I will definitely listen to this audio again and make it a Christmas and New Year tradition lol.

heej

“Duh, nobody cares about having fresh wildflowers and natural spring water gathered for their bath! People don’t like it when you tune up their car, or sing their favorite song softly in their ear as they fall asleep in your arms! *sigh* Do you want a foot massage?” I’m not even done listening yet but I had to write my first ever comment, just for that line. Kudos.

Pie 🥧

“You call that quality?! WHERE DID YOU BUY THOSE?” 🤣

Steffie

I loved this!!

S

it gets me every damn time lol

S

THE MISTLETOE TAT god I haven't seen this one. this is why I troll the comments bc what IF I miss any of this beautiful art

woshinidie

老天爷砍树那里是什么动静笑死我了。俺们老钟人没见过这种场面。这是八月冬能发出来的声音吗。很写实😚😚😚

Gabby

girl ur profile picture is cracking me uppp LOLL i love it

Mantis

For the first time after listening to this audio several times I checked to see if the "we've only known each other for 9 minutes" line actually happens at the 9min mark for the audio and it does lol August you cheeky bastard (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

I need to go back and like every single comment on this one AND time-stamp my essay!!

Nat

This guy is so pretentious, I love him

Nat

“We’ve barely had any misunderstandings or arguments” lmao

Lisa 🇬🇧 🫦 ♏🍷🔞

"Oh, you jumped right off my cock"! 🤣 I know that boss level of over-stim! It fucking hurts! Good work, August! x 🫵😉👌

G-Virus 🧟‍♀️🖤

Imagining Loggust softly singing "C'mon N' Ride It (The Train)" in my ear as I fall asleep 🥰🚂

Spooky Mrs. Governor 🎃

The foot massage, how did I not catch that?😭🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 can’t wait for the foot kink audio tbh

IthacaOwl

I’d never expected to be cracking up so hard on a nsfw audio! 😂 The plot reminds me of Part Of Your World by Abby Jimenez (a city girl & small town handy man romance set in a snowy town), especially the line about “building my own house” and “making Nordic furnitures”. You padded the parody with so many funny details. I can’t compliment you enough for being a good writer! I also love how the story turns from gentle massages to rough sex and then back to cozy kisses. The contrast in vibes made your story much hotter and dramatic than a regular romcom! I love that you are experimenting with different genres and styles of writing and performance. Your work not only makes me feel relaxed/passionate/desired/happy, but inspires me on an artistic level. I look forward to witnessing more of your creative endeavours.

S

it was tied for my favorite until fairly recently!

GeauxGabby

WELCOME! Im a one woman bullying campaign trying to get August to do Buffy trivia on a livestream one day

Lady SJ

hahaha this is so fun to listen to 🤣

Ethel M.

This boy right here, he's my favorite. I can see why the girl seduced her grumpy roommate after watching this romcom on "the netflix" in that older audio.

raspberry98

“hips in the air legs on my shoulders” EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM 🧍🏿‍♀️

bestieplstryquinn

people watching this holiday movie: 👁️👄👁️

mcs

this is one of the few times where an older audio…kept surprising me. i usually skip audios where i’m good at remembering “things”, but? biting through my sheets at how low his voice is at 36:05, was he always this feral? edit: 37:00.

🇪🇺🇺🇸🎙️Barb

Live-listen: "We've only known each other 9 minutes and, what, a few seconds?" at 09:19 👑

lubear

came back here again and died <3 resting in peace, right now 🙂‍↕️

gojoflakes

i’m back i almost forgot how dizzy i get from the deep ass voice, also cumming from eating pussy???????? WHAT good lord this man has completely ruined every other man for me

B N

I love the jokes and the characterization in this one. this is some fine crafted small batch homegrown artisanal script writing and acting right here. 👏

kiraneko

How can his voice be that Low at 37:00…DADDY I have listened to this twice and my brain told me it’s time to stop and my body just like 🥵🥵🥴

S

god i love this hallmark freak

Huniii

same same

S

the feedback loop we are loopin

Huniii

aw shit i forgot about the tongue sucking at the end imma need a full audio of that

Samaru

Christmas in July 🥵

Adaora

37:00 a wise man once said… WTHELLY !!!

Sara

I didn’t know the meaning of life until I heard August yapping about Christmas trees 🥹 I now identify as a Douglas Fir 🌲

theycallmemel

This voice?! You really nailed this concept and character. 🎄 But what I really came here to say is that first finish 🙈…the pitch change, the way it was drawn out. It was aural deliciousness. 😍

sybilstarlingsnow ❄️

YES! The way it sounded like it snuck up on him, the breathwork? It was so fucking pretty. 😍 Definitely one of my favourite speaker Os. I'll take 14 of them right now, please and thank you! 🫠

RiaSpicyFairy

As you know, I’m a connoisseur of the oral variety. I am always so impressed with the length of the oral sequence. The fact that this glorious speaker finish happened while listener character was riding his face?! I shed real tears 😭 I need moooooarrrrr!!!!

Tracey

☝️🤓🎄 this is what i am imagining when i listen to this character

the meta-morphosis

This was hilarious and hot as fuck. The panicked chopping down of the tree? The listing of ridiculous hobbies? I cackled so loud my cat took off. My abs are actually sore from laughing so hard. Honestly I think this is like a version of my fave kind of man. Seems very sweet and maybe boring at first, eager to please, definitely a little weird in a non insane kind of way but is a filthy mouthed freak in the bedroom. I really really like the juxtaposition of the two extremes. It's insanely hot. Who wants to live in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere? Me, currently writing this from the front porch of my log cabin in the middle of nowhere 😂 Universe (or Santa?) please send this man to my home so I can make him dinner and call him a fuckin nerd [affectionate] and then he can make me call him daddy. 🙏

Mads

I’m a new member and this audio alone was worth the 10$ 🥴🤭 absolutely phenomenal acting 😌

Joey

"you just don't know what it's like to only get laid around Christmas" makes me laugh every fucking time god dammit lmao

raspberry98

I’m home 🙂‍↕️

the meta-morphosis

Kept trying to figure out why, in addition to being like, some of the hottest shit ever, this audio specifically gives me the warm fuzzies- because I'm definitely not a romcom kinda girl 😂- and I finally got it! It's the sound design when they are inside the cabin- I am hearing wind and a fire right? I might be subconsciously inserting the wind... I know I mentioned in another comment below about living in a log cabin now, but I also grew up in a 150 year old log cabin in the midwest and getting snowed in in a blizzard was one of my favorite things as a kid. We had a big stone fireplace and two woodstoves and the wind would howl outside, but I would curl up with pillows in front of the hearth and read by firelight and it's one of my most secure feeling memories. The combo of the wind outside in this with the fire crackling just hits me in all the right spots. 🥰 YOU'RE VERY GOOD AT THIS, AUGUST. Seriously.

Donna

Why did i wait this lomg to listen to this?!! This was perffffff 😭😭💖

Lanceathot

I regret avoiding this one… this one is really a christmas cumfort if you will

Huniii

full nelson😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣 bring him back

softtendril

“ask me nicely, city girl” awakened something in me i was not at all expecting 😮‍💨

Laura

"Maybe we should just listen... sshhh... to the treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees." HAHAAHA

Hera

💀💀💀the first 9 minutes had me tearing up I was laughing so hard.. thank you for simultaneously roasting/encapsulating every cheesy holiday rom com of all time so perfectly ❤️‍🔥 ……..and then the smile got wiped off my face by what I can only describe as a “wolf in sheep’s clothes” switch 🥵🥵🥵🥵

truffle

NOT the cock slapping!!!!! i feel like i need to go into witness protection

Eva (like Ava)

Never have I been this amused and aroused at the same time I think

B W

I think I need another one of these, or 5. Your pick!!

S

There’s obviously no way this was my first August Audio since it was exclusive to the patreon, but it’s certainly the first where I remember being fully convinced- “oh, this person is a genius”. I'm not really a hallmark girlie (g/n) but I've been subjected to more than enough to now pay special attention to the lampooned versions in an attempt to try to harvest back some of the time they've stolen from me. I think what gets me is that it manages to be joke after joke after joke (afterjoke) and still pays off for eroticism. When the Hallmark audio isn't silly, its hot every damn time, and often both hot and funny. The jokes feel like they end up informing the hotness instead of distracting from it. Since the real hallmarky dudes tend to be perfect (and boring as a result) turning one of them into a naive but incredibly freaky freak elevates the Hallmark romance slop for me. The fact is that these guys already reside in the uncanny valley; you know something's genuinely wrong with them, they're “too good” to be true, but usually just a stand-in for “a man (but better)”. but just this once, in this audio, this is a man evolution instead of a man horror story*, or at least “a man but better but slightly worse (thank god)”. to this day he’s still one of the rougher fucks from the entire ‘verse, and i think that fits his unique magic as a batshit cabin man who happens to also be really hot. He is unfamiliar with casual sex, but knows what full nelsoning is because he has the internet but he doesn’t really masturbate. What’s the truth, Hallmark man? I want to believe it’s actually all true and he just really is that nuanced and in it for the joy of learning. (*I mean. “knocking you up and keeping you”, could be considered uncouth coming from most people… some might say. So, maybe in addition to being a horror story, maybe he’s also a genuine catch? and isn't that really the dream? for freaks) I love the fake mashup christmas song he hums, the extreme observance of the shit quality of her stuff, the trope references, the sled effort, and how sincerely you deliver every line. Flirting with that fakey, way too low,“hey baby” register, makes me appreciate when we still mostly get the actual iconic voice I come here for, while proving that you could also do that if you had wanted to. He still has a really unique tone to him that's part rural/ part church boy and I'm always impressed how you manage to have a consistent characterization of him despite doing all that voice flexing. i listen to this audio all year, its probably my favorite audio that you or anyone else has ever done, it makes me laugh every time, and it makes me happy i watched all those stupid fucking movies to some day appreciate this in all its splendor. Merry Christmas :)

Ari 🌕

And on the first day of Christmas august gave to me, a christmas tree farmer with a fatttyyyyyy (peen)

Taun

I want someone who takes biodiversity seriously is that so much to ask for? 😤

cheriecherry

“to the trees” being whispered had me CACKLING

Ari 🌕

Bah humbug im back to try to get into the holiday spirit.

Rachel

tis the season baby

charon

"Thank u for being a good girl" I died

anastasia

the whole second half jesus

Daphne 🦇

This was so god damn funny lol my new favorite

Risha

Omg, you actually killed me. It’s only half of the audio and I’m already collapsed. Need a break. Back soon for part two 😀💓

Juna

I was cackling and rolling at the hallmark-y dialogue then it turned spicy and I was sat and too stunned to speak 😳

Jaclyn

So I didn’t realize how much I needed the hallmark movie Christmas tree farmer to call me a slut until now….

BabyJBeCray

8:50 *Sigh* Do you want a foot massage? Giggles like a madwoman

✮𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔢✮

august please the intro to this audio is so funny 😭 the swiftness with which he chops the tree down. going full speed on the sled. the way he's so boringly perfect that it seems like a red flag.

Goosecruise

the character writing for the speaker is so good. like if gap moe was for sexiness. i love that he's always corny throughout and him being so horny that he has so many, many varied hobbies is both endearing and silly. i love how his sexual frustration comes into play with his dom side. genuinely cannot choose between this and the sugar arrangement(?) to lovers audio as my favorite.

Mandy J💜🖤

Omg this is among the funniest things I have ever heard in my life... I am speechless. "...we do get the internet out here" 🤣🤣🤣🫠🫠🫠💀💀💀

Daphne 🦇

For real! This is so good

Levy Lannister

I can't tell if the part of chopping the tree was a meta joke about that one lumberjack dude who keeps posting thirst traps, but any case, this is one of my favorite audios that I keep coming back to. <3 Hilarious and horny as hell, the best combo

el 🫟

mr tree farmer aka manic pixie dream boy

mei

the comically aggressive and quick wood chopping is fucking KILLING ME

Rae0

开头小品太好笑了

bubbl3gum🫧

As a late bloomer turned serial monogamist, I know most of my experiences with sex and erotica have been pretty sheltered and insular. Through AE, it’s been exciting to discover how many different things can be “hot” and “for me” even if not something I actually want to do or experience irl. Your audios have helped me turn my brain off and stop intellectualizing so much of sex (which has historically sucked the pleasure right out of it for me). Listening, and also reading all the comments from your community, have helped me stop assigning deeper meaning and judgments about myself and others. For this, I am forever grateful to you and the community you’ve built! Degradation is something I’m still figuring out my comfort level with. No one’s ever called me a slut (to my face, anyway), so I’ve been testing how it feels to hear that kind of language in such a vulnerable, intimate context. There’s a part of me that sort of likes the discomfort and squirminess it elicits; there is an uneasy, charged edge to it. And not to intellectualize (here I go again), but I’ve wondered if that juxtaposition, those words paired with vulnerability, could actually shift their meaning for me. Like, in that context, “slut” could read less derogatory and more like unfiltered desire. Those words also strip away some of the pressure and preciousness that gets attached to sex; like, it doesn’t have to be “love-making” or some deeply cerebral experience. It can just be bodies wanting bodies, with no additional meaning. This audio is the embodiment of the thoughts I have been processing on the topic. Specifically, Mr. Wonderful’s silly over-the-top-Lifetime-movie wholesomeness lulled me into this cozy, safe headspace. So when those words started pouring from his mouth, it hit like a zip of electricity, cutting straight through all the softness and reducing everything down to desire. And there’s a thrill in being the thing that made him break character. Thank you for creating such special work that while turning me on, also helps me understand myself better. (And thanks for letting me work through my thoughts on this in your comments section, which apparently doubles as my journal. ♥️)

Daphne 🦇

I full on belly laugh every time I listen to this one. This is some of August’s best writing

monakrome

"I know we've only known each other for about nine minutes" *goes to look at the time of the audio.* "9 Minutes" THIS AUDIO HAS ME DYING OF LAUGHTER AT THE BEGINNING I CAN'T-

Soph Rasberry

Genuinely I loved giggling during the opening of this

Justanotherfan

It’s audios like these that make me think I’m not paying enough to deserve this

Cho

LMAOO I love I’m creasing this is perfect and I haven’t even gotten to the smut. Very rom-com!!

Rebecca

Bro I'm crying this was kick your feet funny in the beginning. Like the cringeee what an excellent giggle was had.

Rebecca

Omg I see the vision hell yeah

AutumnWhispers

This feels like you broke an NPC out of its predetermined quest and now it is sentient and also horny.

Justanotherfan

13:13 had me cracking up so hard 🤣🤣 love your work King 👑

fuzzyslippers

fracking hell, been stifling my laugh the first few minutes and ended up busting a gut at the agressive chopping🤣🤣🤣