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Submit your advice questions for Ray's Place! (Patreon)

Published:
2026-02-07 18:00:11
Imported:
2026-02

Content

Write your questions for Ray in the comments below, and thrill when he, Ray Smuckles, chooses to personally address — if not actually aid — you in your moment of need! Ray can reply to any question, on any topic, and actually (truly) enjoys branching out from queries about high-end brown liquors. Romance? Quantum realms? The contemporary Australian male aesthetic and how to combat it? Bring it.

Ray's replies will post on an upcoming Wednesday, in Tiers 2 & 3! (Might do Trivia again next week, or this, not sure yet.) If you're a fan of the genre, Ray's Place has updated 33 times, meaning he's answered 99 of your questions! Hours of reading — and wisdom — await you.

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Comments

DOOMFINGER

I want advice on important stuff, like alcohol and drugs and love

Conor Nelson

curious ray's favorite olympic sport

E Corcoran

How can I rock a thong the way you do, Ray?

Bruce Wright

Dear Ray, I've always admired your totes rad, keep on truckin' spirit. Every day, I get up and look at the news and go "Hey, what the fuck? What the fuck, man?" How do you keep going in this worst timeline?

RJ

Dear Ray - I'm spending my free time designing systems that create large scale objects out of popsicle sticks and plastic hubs. It's a lot of math and I often get burdened by the mindset that so much math causes. The thing I am making will be large, useless, and pretty. How do I deal with the period of time between now (burdened by calculations) and then (gazing upon my works)?

Traedran

Ray- how do you deal with people that are complete putzes about spicy food? Cookbook II has great recipes, but being told I need an adult to yell at me for not being able to handle much spice makes a certain cat look like he buys his opinions from High School Peaker's. How do I deal with people who conflate pain with quality eating instead of respecting that beauty is in the buds of the beholder?

Ruxine

Dear Ray, my world is becoming increasingly uncool, do you think it would ever be possible for a human to visit the animal underground? How would I go about that respectfully? The last thing I'd want to do is human things up for y'all. -blasé in boston

Stavro

Ray - What was it like working with Scorcese on Goodfellas? Did you think Jamie Foxx was a good choice for your biopic? How did you come up with McDonald's? - RayFan68

FactWino

Ray, I recently started growing mushrooms. I haven't eaten any mushrooms for many years. Got the idea from a buddy who tried it and got almost a pound out of his first batch. It's not as hard as it seems. But for someone who's restarting this interest, how much should I eat for my second first time? How much is too much? - Mushroom Fan

Andrew

Ray, what is the tastiest thing you have made lately with leftover ingredients while stoned? I cooked up a grilled chicken breast and made a nice sandwich with a packet of buffalo sauce and the last bits from a jar of muffuletta salad.

Tom

Hi Ray, how do I be a good corporate employee while also not working very hard? I mean don't get me wrong, I like my job and I'm appropriately grateful for the $$$ deposited on alternate weeks. But, I also like my family, and my free time, and good-to-ok video games, and a decent burrito. How do I balance it all?

Tom

PS if you answer my question I promise to up my tier for at least a month (are you cool with bribery Ray? If not then upping the tier was a total coincidence and in no way a quid pro quo)

Bungus Bronbo

Ray, man. I need you. I like biting into a hot steak, but I know it's best to let the steak sit for ten minutes. Is there a way to let it sit and still be hot? Also, I know how to grill salmon and am looking to expand my repertoire. What's some comparable fish recipes you got and how can I jazz 'em up?

Doc G

Ray, until very recently I was a man of cocktails somewhat like yourself (as a point of reference, martini is 2:1 gin to vermouth + dribble of olive juice, shaken with ice. Olives are those big ass queens served with a sword pick). Trouble is the wife has convinced me to do a dry January and a dry September (sounds weird, but as a schoolteacher August tends to be real wet) and usually I get right back into it, but this time? I tied on a couple cold ones apres-ski last week and couldn't sleep right. Maybe it's because I'm pushing 40 and my body is finally starting to reject parties and fun, which is a natural progression I thought I could resist through sheer personality. You, on the other hand, seem never to slow down. How do you help friends through this transition when they have no choice but to jealously watch you, evergreen bacchus that you seem to be?

Cymbaline

Hey Ray. I enjoy taking some time on the weekends to make a nice meal - maybe fire up the grill or braise something in the oven. Weekday meals, on the other hand, can be a severe drag. I don't want to spend the entirety of what little weeknight free time I have cooking, and eating out or getting Door Dash is expensive as the Dickens, so I end up falling back on the same three or four simple weeknight meals over and over, which in turn ends up making those meals a bit of a bummer. Any philosophical suggestions or go-to recipes? Please help make weeknights suck less.

B Dub

Ray, I need your help. I have an colleague who is an excellent and smart gentleman. He is also retiring and I need to get him a gift. Now, one of the things that makes him a great colleague and a genuinely good human being also causes a problem here; namely, he has no known vices for me to cater to. Normally I'd go with an unusual local amaro (you know this already, Ray, but presenting an unusual amaro short-circuits the many pitfalls normally associated with giving a bottle, namely the chance that the recipient has strong preferences and enjoys far better and more expensive wine or brown liquor than you would possibly buy him). But my colleague doesn't drink. He also doesn't eat much, or go to shows, or anything like that. He's a private dude, very practical, and doesn't need or want desk trinkets or tchotchkes. He rides his bike and does fancy woodwork. So... Ray, what should I get a gentleman like this on a work-related Occasion that is just personal enough to impress, but not so personal it gets weird?

E Corcoran

only two of those are important

Ben Wilinofsky

O Wise One, I have always been sure that kids weren't for me. So much so that I got the big snip last spring, "just-in-case-style" (there was no ruttin' going on but I wanted to be emergency-prepared). Since the Big Man Upstairs is nothing if not a humorist, two months later I reconnected with a long lost what-if. You know when people go pining for what might have been, only to find out the real world human can't live up to the hopes and dreams of a horny teenager? This is the opposite of that. She is smart, sexy, beautiful, funny, emotionally intelligent, supportive, enjoys all the same things I do, and DOWN. The punchline, of course, is she has two kids. They are noisy, and chaotic, and in genereal interrupt the repose of a man in his own home when he is trying to have ideas, or not have ideas. I was hoping as a man of no kids but one l'il nephew, you could share some advice. What does a man who doesn't want kids do with kids? What does a man who wants a woman do with her kids? Sincerely, The Accidental Step-Dad

Datura

Hi Ray, what is your opinion on the demiurge? Is he cool and Just Made a Big Mistake? Is he evil? What kind of vibe are you catching thanks Ray brother I Love You

Damneurn Puchai

I am in my 40s now and have started listening to stuff I think is ambient, thoughtful, spacy, and chill in a very cool and modern way, but kids just take one gander at it and say "I don't really fuck with jazz." Lady Wray, Common Saints, Skinshape, Hyperbolic Club - that kinda shit Am I listening to the Kenny G of my generation? Am I an elevator guy now? Fuck.