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The third of the three Achewood collections hazarded by Dark Horse Comics, A Home For Scared People contained multitudes of character backstories. I present to you here a very lightly edited copy of an interview Téodor conducted with Ray and Roast Beef. It dates to 2009, and is kind of like the original podcast, in that it runs to entirely unnecessary length and doesn't really accomplish anything. But, I still think it's worth your time, you big aficionado.

Why am I publishing it here? The book is long out of print, will not be going back into print, and I don't relish the idea of parts of the Achewood urve (oeuvre, but for we simple folk) being permanently inaccessible.

For the true completist, yesterday in the Author's Tier I ran the Lie Bot origin story, which was in rougher shape and needed considerable editing.

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Comments

Bruce Wright

This whole thing is gold! "Let’s America this shit up" would enter my lexicon if it weren't for, well, you know

Achewood

My gourmet local group loves the nasty fish. I don’t know why it’s a taste-shibboleth, because it’s so sick-making to me

Achewood

Maybe they are going to bomb the Taco Bell

Achewood

Yeah it had been haunting me for a while, ever since I learned the actual original word for avocado means scrotum

Lisa Taylor

"van ride to the balloon place" = this will no doubt be in my head the next time I'm talking about an unwise endeavor likely to result in death/disfigurement

Achewood

The one time I rode in a hot air balloon, the captain’s name was Steve Crapo, and he had a mullet

Nicholas Williams

God damn it Ray, a Chåteauneuf-du-Pape is not a fucking Burgundy, I thought I knew you fool. You are making an ASS out of yourself.

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Properly cooked shrimp from the before times were different and not mad gross. Or am I mistaken?

Achewood

Man I know that but Ray doesn’t know that I know that, and plus he was mouth-fondlin’ the aperture of a terpy griffy that day

Nicholas Williams

I’m gonna remember this the next time he’s bein’ some worldly-ass sophisticate.

The Good Poster

Strongly disagree with the boys about avocado but I love Teodor going for the phone research and Ray saying "Check it, Beef. He's about to prove you like Mickey's." Very strong "just some knuckleheads from the day" atmo.

Achewood

Well you better remember that immediately because he is constantly acting that way

Achewood

Yeah I was happy to find a lot of their original energy patterns in this old piece, just the way they sling and slang at each other, knowing the other will know. Avocado is important. The boys just don't understand acid and salt. The boys do not blend the avocado with Serrano and roasted onion and cilantro. They are foolish in this way.

Taylor

I’ve got a friend whose uncle makes hot air balloons, and I went to one of the big balloon events with her once, and man balloon people DRINK. If you’re on a hot air balloon chances are the guy running is still drunk from the night before or nursing a worse hangover than you’ve ever had. Which now that I say that, that’s probably not really news and what most people would assume anyway.

Achewood

I wonder how much balloon captain vomit is on rooftops, never to be seen