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Ask Me Anything! Author Q&A Thread #1 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-12 17:00:06
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:
Q&A

Content

Please post your questions for me within twenty-four hours of this Q&A going live! (I.e., before Friday, October 13, 10AM Pacific.) I will respond over the course of the following few days. Patreon will send you a message when I reply to you.

Questions can be about anything, though Achewood- and writing-centric questions are what is largely anticipated. Surprise me. I’m a pretty open guy.

If your question is inappropriate, my reply will simply be to paste in the entire text of Bleak House followed by the “open hand” and “microphone” emojis.

If your question is mean, I will feel a sadness, followed eventually by indignance, though this progression may take many years.

Disclaimer: This thread is (a) the first of its kind here, and (b) open to all tiers, which means I may get deluged and require a little extra time to get back to everyone. But my heart is in the right place, even when my fingers aren’t. (?)

Files

Comments

s b

What’re ya cooking these days?

Kyle Cassidy

What's your favorite sandwich?

Mike Commander

Who is your favorite Achewood character to write and why?

Andrew Robertson

Is there any chance of the Complete canon books still happening?

Lonesome Cowpoke

Question 1: thank you for everything over the years <3 Question 2: did you ever find your Way to hip hop music, or do you still turn from the light?

The Rorie Roundup

Have you been reading anything noteworthy or interesting lately?

The Rorie Roundup

To append to the SB question above, do you have any favorite cooking YouTube channels or etc that you like?

Captain Chaos

What happened to the animated series project? I remember the test with Toby Huss but it's never been clear what went down.

John Robinson

I have described myself as 80% Roast Beef, 15% Philippe, and 5% Nice Pete. Should I be worried that my Cropes Quotient is that high?

Achewood

There was this yellow truck at like 157/SE Division called Bora Bora that was cheap and hot with the charcoal chicken. These days I mainly go to Pinches Burros on Prescott around like 58th. This was a good first question.

James Cash

Thank you for making Achewood! I'm always so delighted by the distinctive voices of all your characters; do you have a process for "getting into character" when it's time to do extended writing, e.g. the blogs?

Nikhil Brocchini

Do you or did you at one point have a specific friend or group of friends that inspired you to explore the weird tribulations and delights of adult male friendship in such great detail? Or did you kind of discover that theme/interest in the writing itself as you went along?

Achewood

We're doing a ton of home renovations right now so it's all about that Instant Pot white bean and ham hock stew, baby. Also, did you know a man can get so tired of burritos that he dreads them

Dual Chort

What do you think of Stanford these days?

Chuck S-L

what's been your favorite non-Achewood writing/creative work? like the stuff you're personally proudest of, not necessarily the most successful or the one that got the most positive feedback

Achewood

Banh mi, grilled pork, nice and light, don't slow me down. I'm not counting hamburgers as sandwiches. In a world where sandwiches can't slow me down, a Reuben from The Refuge in San Carlos, CA

Rishi Kundi

I believe you've already written that the joys and misfortunes of your personal life often found their way into the 2001-2016 strip. Do you think that this is inherent to your creative process or simply the result of the circumstances at the time? To what extent do you need to put your heart on the page/screen to make the Achewood that we know and love?

Matt McDaniel

Was there a conscious decision to move away from the ‘underground’ idea or did it just happen?

Achewood

That's a Sophie's Choice, man. How could you ask me such a rude and raw question. How could you tear my family of head-voices asunder. Probably Cornelius, since his language is the most complex, or Nice Pete, since I feel greater latitude to let him wander.

professor husband

Nice Pete is such a... singular take on Southern Gothic tropes. Were there any favorite authors or formative experiences with regards to The South that led to his development? (Also, why do they/did they keep him around?)

Achewood

There's no reason it can't, legally. So much content was located and prepped that it's basically ready for a new publishing house to assume the reins and drop the coin. Are you a major publisher? Frankly it's kind of sad to me nobody wanted it after Oni died.

dog vomit slime mold

Oh snap, I think I’ve been there before back in the day. Also I’m sure you’re aware of this but Luis’s Taqueria in Woodburn is easily my favorite Mexican food in Oregon

Brody

What's the best thing you've smelled recently?

Joshua Nadas

What is the sass in the main?

Mike Commander

Thank you. I’d say Roast Beef if I were writing, I even have a Roast Beef T-Shirt. Love your work.

Achewood

June 18 2004 is The Murder Commission and is still there. 9/2/2005 seems to have the wrong date. Email me and let me know what you noticed that led you to ask this, I would like to run a tidy archive.

Achewood

It has been very hard and I am old now

zoë

What do you think of reality television? Are there any reality shows you really enjoy?

Achewood

I found the Isaacson bio of Steve Jobs in a thrift store last year and that got me going through a lot of similars: Carnegie, Rockefeller, etc. Right now I'm reading The People of the Abyss by Jack London

Achewood

Last night I wanted "100 kitchen hacks" by a guy named Joshua Weissman. I liked learning some Cantonese seasoning basics from Cooking with Lau. But I will always just find an old Jacques Pepin clip if I want to while away some time in the parakitchen.

Achewood

We shopped that to seven different networks but nobody bit, so it shelved. I called Toby in May to talk about doing more work and he was super excited, so it's nice to know he's still a Cho. He said doing that reel was one of his favorite things he'd ever worked on.

Nathan Zoob

You used to kick my ass at Words With Friends on the reg. Why did you show me no mercy? Do you still play?

Captain Chaos

Thanks for the answer: I love Toby Huss, I thought the reel was great, and it made my day to know he's an Achewood fan.

Nick De Cesare

What comediens/writers have made you laugh the hardest and most consistently?

Achewood

Not at all. Good work on not letting it grow to be 100%, as can happen during traffic times, a government meeting, etc.

Achewood

I'll just reread some of the character's old work, if it's been a while. RayBot was interesting for identifying signature speech patterns as well, though I never use that any more.

Oppido

Have you ever come across a misinterpretation or misreading of your work that bugged you? Anything you'd like to "correct the record" on, so to speak? I feel this must happen to every person who writes or makes art, sooner or later.

dog vomit slime mold

Also: just had Mole Mole for the first time a few days ago, and I was surprised at how much I dug their mole Rosa. Also the first time I’ve ever been served arugula at a Mexican joint… it was weirdly good

Achewood

All of the characters are portions of a friend or an amalgam of friends, mixed with other less-familiar social and cultural voices. And at some point the characters get their own momentum and unique backstories that the inspirational people never had, and we're off to the races.

Achewood

I was down there in May for an AI conference, and I've been reading the articles about how locked down and policed everything is. It makes me very sad, because I had such a great, wild, and liberating time there.

Sedric and Charlie

Was there an intended end for either a) the Pat-and-the-banjo arc, or b) the Theo Freedom arc?

Doug Kavendek

What's your favorite reptile or amphibian?

Achewood

My favorite writing outside of Achewood was the Sandwich Duel that I did with Zach Kanin of the New Yorker. Working with him and under the once-vaunted masthead of the New Yorker humor department inspired me, and I landed in a very happy set of energies and clarity.

Allie

2 questions: 1. What ever happened to the drum machine who's manual Phillipe was standing on - did they ever figure that confounded thing out? 2. What is the current status between Phillipe and Ultra Peanut? She's my favorite character so I hope she returns, I need more Ultra Peanut lore!

Achewood

It's much easier to make work that matters if the action or themes have been deeply personal. I've said this many times, but if a piece doesn't make me genuinely laugh, or mist up, or at least take strong reflective pause, it doesn't post. It must be this "heart on sleeve" aspect of the material that resonates with the rarefied and dedicated audience Achewood has built up over time.

Cf Duddy

Are there any plans to re-publish The Great Outdoor Fight?

Achewood

The underground could still be a functioning premise in the strip, but over time having them hide from the human world just became too burdensome, and not in an interesting way.

Jesse LE

How did Roast Beef become friends with Emeril and Spongebath?

Katherine Duerden

We first learned how to cook a steak nicely from your cookbook, back in the day. Is that still your go to method, or should we be doing something different now?

Achewood

He happens to be originated in the South, but he's entirely built off of experiences I had and people I knew growing up in California, especially in the woods of Tuolumne county / Twain Harte. And, how would you ask Nice Pete to leave?

Zeta Niloticus

Will there ever be another Achewood Song Fight?

Sedric and Charlie

how old IS Philippe's mother? She looks and acts more comparable to Sondra, but Philippe's only five. I am torn between believing Philippe's real parents were victims of An Accident and his grandparents ended up raising him, or that he just never ages mentally or physically and is easily as old or older than Ray or Beef in real time; I do not expect you to clarify that last part of the ponderance, I'm just thinking aloud

Cf Duddy

Jack London is genius. Writing from the perspective of a new born wolf pup??? gtfo. (Crazy he died at 40, adjustments for inflation aside...)

Gurglepot

With the former shop page down, are there any plans to start selling your original artwork again? Asking on behalf of my barren walls.

Achewood

Lauren made a vadouvan curry on Monday; that was quite enveloping. I also like the Imaginary Authors line of fragrances, which happens to be made right here in Portland. The most interesting fragrance I have come across lately was a 700-gallon, 1912 subterranean diesel tank that we're having decommissioned. I didn't know that diesel smells like WD-40.

Hampburger

On a scale of "Found to Dead", how is Scrambles the Dog doing?

Achewood

I enjoy that chinwag tissue-weight drama from time to time. We watched this show a couple years ago called like Hot Island or Dumbfuck Isthmus or something, and it was all about models who were on an island together and not allowed to have sex. So they all did handjobs and got penalized.

Achewood

Thank you for asking! You win the thread. I bought this for $1.68 in the Wisconsin Dells, after going on the Duck Boats. I like how tall the crown is, it's bizarre.

Achewood

I'm still there dogg, fire up the grudge match

Gruff Owen Jones

Can we please get an eta on the big achewood hardback? It is the only physical book i ever intend to own and i refuse to compromise with The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen or some such lesser work.

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

What's Little Nephew up to these days? Did you enjoy or hate writing in his voice?

chili sunrise

How far in advance do you come up with story arcs? Are you the type to plot meticulously, or to write yourself into a corner and write your way out?

2scrogz

An existential question for you: Man, why we even got to do a Thing?

Achewood

Such a great question. Douglas Adams always makes me mind-laugh, as does Wodehouse. For raw chuckles of the moment, I really like Neal Brennan, Tom Segura, and Louis CK. Theo Von stumbles into some deeply human moments. But on any other day I would name an entirely different group of people.

dog vomit slime mold

Truckers are famous for their low brows, and need to compensate for this with extraordinarily tall hats

Achewood

Ramathustra Ron's not actually wearing Balenciagas. I thought I set that up really well, but clearly I didn't. I will be correcting the record on this as the arc winds down.

Achewood

I could never think of a good way to wrap the banjo thing, so I suppose we must assume that it just sorted itself out. Theo Freedom: I was in too fucked up of a place personally to get that one done, as I was fresh out of rehab and trying to do the strip again too soon. I've looked over it and could structure a proper segue for Ray back to the common flow of Achewood, retroactively.

Achewood

My least favorite reptile is this fat lizard my future sister in law's kid has, because it gets a gross ball infection that I have to hear about. I can't get past that to thinking about good reptiles, sorry.

Achewood

1) like all drum machines, it was eventually put in Storage forever. 2) Ultra Peanut is out there in the ether, like Schrödinger's Ultra Peanut, meaning she is available to the universe should Philippe or anyone else need her particular style of chaos.

Chris Hartjes

Any big story arcs that did not turn out the way you wanted them to?

Achewood

Oni was going to republish it as a floppy before the Netflix special, but now both are dead. I would love to do an extended edition of it, but publishers never call me. I think I seem to carry a curse.

Isaac

I don't resent your absences at all. I mourn the times when there has not been Achewood, as it's a source of constant joy to me, but I don't begrudge that you don't always want to do it (or maybe it's more like you want to, but can't). With that prelude, to hopefully make the question not a mean one, have you identified any reasons or feelings or anything why you've sometimes not been able to produce Achewood regularly? I'm curious about this from a writer's and writer's block perspective, not from some shaming perspective. I just wonder if, after having done this for so many years, you have some perspective and soul searching you could bare to us all.

Achewood

This is a great question, and one that deserves proper establishment in the canon. You'd think it came about over their respective trashspotting habits, but now I will look a little more deeply into the history and consider fleshing this out. Thank you!

Achewood

My method now is to heavily salt both sides, let it rest an hour at room temp, and grill it so that it gets treated to some of its own flare-ups — this gives it that char-grilled flavor all cooks covet.

Achewood

That was a special time and place; it grew out of a message board I think. Nobody uses message boards any more, thank god, so it can never happen. Unless somebody on the Discord gets one going, then it can happen. I'm very into the idea of hosting it.

Achewood

I don't want to get into the odd math and aging cycles of otters, man. She's always been kind of a fuddy-dud though.

Rishi Kundi

In that case, I'm so happy for you. The current work is, to me, suffused with a happy calm and contentedness; a lovely place to be. Well done, Onstad.

Achewood

Absolutely. I'm setting up a new studio and shop space (I'm sitting in the half-built version of it right now, in fact) and will start trickling pieces out starting in the new year. The actual merchandise shop will open in about a week.

jacob moore

Since you've been doing Achewood for so long, do you find that it works as an outlet for most of your creative impulses? Have you ever wanted to do anything creatively that you felt like it didn't allow for?

Achewood

It's not good, man. It's not looking good. Scrambles actually got assigned Actual Years instead of cartoon years.

Achewood

Yeah man best to hold out. Unfortunately, absolutely zero publishers have expressed interest in taking up the reins on the anthology series. Maybe I need to get a disease that's not looking too promising for this to happen.

Achewood

It's 10:48am on Thursday, and I am taking a break from answering questions for a few hours now, but I will be back at it today! You will get a note when I answer your particular question.

Allie

You're the best <3

@misterjayem

Tyson Fury vs Francis Ngannou: Who you got?

Allie

You should send a message to the patreons asking us to petition/email a publisher of your choice to show demand! You've got enough people that it'd probably make them take notice!

Stephen Heintz

I love the abrupt ending to the storyline in which Phillipe is pursued by an Internet Predator, when Ray rolls in and declares that he resolved it on his own. "Because I PAY ATTENTION." I always wondered: was this the planned ending for that plotline, or was it more of a "this got too dark, let's wrap it up and move on" kind of ending?

Cf Duddy

*light punch to the shoulder* It'll happen bro, I know it will.

Oppido

I do not have a second question; I just wanted to say thanks for doing this Q&A and I hope there are more. Very cool to have a direct line to you like this.

OneTrueDave

Is there a particular achewood strip or gag that you consider your favorite?

Zachary Kiesewetter

I see you spent much of your time in the NE, why set the strip in California? Other than to lend credence to Ray's personality and lifestyle, of course.

Achewood

Little Nephew is as fun to write as anyone. He's a mash-up between Ray, Lyle, and a hip-hop album experienced during the DTs. What's he up to right now? Probably drinking something sugary and believing something selfish.

Omurice

More of a recommendation than a question, the Amberville quartet by Swedish author Tim Davys, a pseudonym. It’s a world of talking animals, slow starting but the books build to a fairly intense place. And you and Lyle taught me not to be afraid of fire while cooking. Thanks for sharing your skills.

Achewood

These days I'll come up with a general value or philosophical idea I want to get across, and reason though the exciting developments that will get it from A to B to C, but by the time I actually get the story to B things will have emerged that make going to C pretty boring. The characters often reveal their needs or issues in a way that only starting to tell the story will elicit.

Achewood

Curse the universe in which a man or a lady is not all-consumed to do a Thing.

Achewood

There were some arcs where I was just in too terrible of a place to think them through and finish them. I would like to retroactively finish some of them, like when Pete put Teodor in his van and everything started going to hell.

Achewood

The only real reason I had to keep stopping out from doing the work was chronic alcohol abuse and its attendant incapacity / personal issues. The recovery and healing years were great for finding new material, new perspective, and new hats (see above). The soul searching is an unceasing aspect of our days, and when we stop doing it, we probably stop writing good stories. Thank you for the kind words!

Achewood

Yeah the dude I based a good part of Beef on is happy (?) about that. They're all amalgams of one major archetype from my real life, and smaller portions of others. I answered this a little better above, when someone asked a pretty similar question. (Oh, and the guy I based Andy the Robot off of is furious.)

Achewood

I wrote a bunch of music in GarageBand, but nobody cared about that at all, so I stopped adding it. I put several of the pieces in Pete's blog as songs he'd written, but the response was just crickets. I tell myself that my music is just misunderstood and way ahead of its time, although it may just be childish and transparent.

Smoke

Do you have any regrets about strips or characters? Also, whatever happened to Gramma K after Beef left?

Achewood

I know those names from the Mens Podcastosphere, but I don't have the gene that lets me be interested in MMA. I was surprised about 15 years ago when it started to become a thing lots of dudes I knew talked about, it seemed symptomatic of some kind of lack of drama and purpose in dude lives. But I also get that these highly disciplined and powerful people can serve as positive structural references for lacking dudes.

Achewood

to be sure, we are all lacking dudes in many ways

Achewood

It did feel kind of abrupt, but this is an experimental comic, inasmuch as I have no discipline and all Publication is Punishment (to the author, eventually) so I went with it. I'm sure that type of closure left some dissatisfied. But in those days I *really* did not plan plot lines out ahead of time. I make more of an effort in that these days -- see my answer a couple questions up about how these things develop. Thanks!

Achewood

Thank you, and it's my pleasure! Glad to have you in the Chommunity so this isn't just a one-way street where I say things of my life and nobody says anything back and I just think to myself, "well, I hope that was okay to do, I have no way of knowing"

Achewood

One thing that makes me really happy is how often I can dip into the archives and actually enjoy the jokes again, now that I've forgotten so many of them. It's something akin to pride, I suppose. Choosing a single favorite from all the 1600+ strips and hundreds of thousands of blog words can't be an accurate errand, but I really enjoy rereading Molly's antiquated Welsh family, when Little Nephew goes to stay there. Inventing their dialect was a pure pleasure.

Jake McIntyre

On-line and in the cafes you are regarded as a foremost devotee of Wodehouse; it's evident in so much of your writing, and you even acknowledged it in one of your earlier AMA answers. Two questions pertaining to Plum, then: 1) Given Hollywood's apparent allergy to developing new "IP" and its ceaseless recycling of established "content," are you surprised at the relative paucity of Wodehouse TV/film projects? Since the (outstanding) Fry and Laurie series of the '90s, there's been precious little. 2) Would you like to take a crack at adapting Wodehouse for the screen, or would it feel daunting? Related: which novel or story would you most like to see filmed?

Achewood

I grew up in California, and only moved away to Portland in 2009. Achewood is loosely mapped over Palo Alto, where I went to college. I've never lived in the Northeast, unless you mean Northeast Portland?But I have CA creds all the way down to the turtles.

Achewood

The most dangerous knife is a dull one. The most boring pan is a cold one. You got to have fire and blades, like a warrior

Zachary Kiesewetter

My apologies, perhaps I relied on a place you visited, I'm not sure and good to know!

Achewood

In comics, all can be undone, fixed, walked back. I learned this from Road Runner cartoons, where the rules of the universe mean you can be blown to bits, but then in the next installment you can be eating breakfast soup with a best friend

Achewood

Gramma K may be dead now, I have to check beef's latest writings. It can be hard to tell with her.

Achewood

1) After Laurie and Fry's reupholstering of those fine settees, of which you make mention, everybody possible knows that they would fail so hard to achieve that level of perfection that even asshole Hollywood cocaine people on their worst day know not to try. 2) Of course I would. Have you read Ben Schott's Jeeves and Wooster books? I read King of Clubs and was duly impressed. Obviously not meant to be a direct inhabitation of the master's formula, and a lot of fun in their own right. I really enjoyed it and am about to start the second.

Jack

why do so many people talk like achewood characters 2 decades later

Achewood

This reminds me that we are due for a check-in with them. I'll put in a line to both parties and take their temperature.

James Wellence

Are you still doing the walking circuits? If so, where are some interesting places in Portland to stroll by? (And if you've taken up running in its stead, well, that's cool too, I guess.)

Achewood

Things are slightly more fun in the Achewood universe (except for the innumerable awful times and the terrible pain)

Achewood

Hey man! yeah, I switched to running two years ago because I no longer had nine hours a day to walk around. And in that meanwhile, Portland got so sketchy that I can't recommend my favorite old trails (OMSI to Oaks Bottom on the spring water path, marine drive Columbia trail, st johns to kelly point). I think Mark Zuckerberg is doing a thing that will replace walking so maybe look into that.

Song Club with John Krane

What kinda mileage are you doing? I got really into run-walk-run this last winter, and I really recommend it for runners who are trying to push mileage without their knees exploding. I got up to running a half marathon one day each week, while somehow remaining slightly fat (but with really tight lower legs, which is a look, I guess).

Achewood

That's great, I was doing about the same. I'd do two ten-milers and one or two 5-6 mile runs. Nice for listening to podcasts and just being in the sun and the green. But now I'm renovating a house and have actually found I lose more weight and build more muscle this way than at the gym/running.

Cy Heffley

which character do you feel the closest to these days?

Daniel Grieff

Hello, Chris! Before I ask my question, I just want to say how happy I am that you've harnessed the technology of the day to communicate with your fans. I've been with Achewood since the early internet days, so I never thought we'd get to see Achewood in web 2.0 (or is it 2.1 by now?) Anyway! I wanted to ask what you thought about people doing deep-dive analysis on your work? Aside from the gratification that I'm sure you feel, are you happy with the critique that some of Achewood is 'of it's time'? There's one podcast in particular that I'm thinking of, but I suppose you wouldn't listen to them, yourself.

Matt Springer

Has anyone suggested you could be a credible Robert Wagner impersonator in the photo above?

Nicholas Williams

Achewood has been a part of my daily life since, oh, let's say 2005 when I read the phrase "a clown with a problem in his mind" in some Salon.com piece. I know why I keep returning to the well, but what about these characters and their voices keeps you returning year after year? Even during hiatuses, your original artwork usually depicted one of the gang, often in psychedelic variations. What keeps you invested in this world you created?

Steve Crozier

Questions: 1) do you still see a future for achewood in other media? (Moving pictures, Tik Tok, MySpace, etc.) And 2) hello?

Nicholas Williams

Oh really because I always considered that arc to be quite clearly the product of a carefree and untroubled mind.

Laura Prado

Will we ever get more of Philippe asking Lie Bot what is the saddest thing? I really love those little asides. And where did you get the idea for that?

Achewood

That's a great question; typically I feel closest to what is positive about beef (rebellious, creative, contrarian, independent).

fancymatt

Despite considering myself a drink snob I find myself constantly reaching for Google to understand the various allusions your characters make to alcohol. Do you have a drink of choice, or are the characters' diverse preferences a reflection of your own?

Achewood

Bless anyone who cares enough to think about the work beyond the two seconds it takes to read. I make a point of not consuming much criticism of the work, as I don't want it to corrupt what I'm doing. As far as some of the material being dated, yes, that's inescapable no matter how focused I was on not giving the material a shelf life. It's essentially lazy and/or unintelligent to point out that something written in a certain time period has vestiges of that time period. Great question, thank you!

Achewood

this is exactly what I was going for, so, muscle-arm-emoji

jordan b.

have you ever played "Kentucky Route Zero"? It is a markedly different beast than Achewood but ( probably because of the shared magical realism influence ) it still feels like a world where quadraphonic weirdness like the Cartilage Head or Lonis F Edison arcs could easily have taken place.

Achewood

The momentum keeps me returning. There's no denying that this lark has, over two decades, become central to the way I: process the world, have creative fun, feel that I provide value to others, and make my living. I am fortunate that the archetypes of these characters are complex enough to have rich and evolving potentials of their own, such that any new burr on the surface of reality elicits from them a set of responses which I think are both interesting, relatable, and enjoyable enough to share. Thanks for your many years of staying in the struggle!

Tfunkadelic

Do you anticipate additional merch coming available in the future? I have terrible needs for Achewood apparel and stickers.

Brian Marshall

Which Achewood characters listen to ska, and why?

Achewood

Honestly, things are going so well with Patreon that I don't really seek out those validations / distractions / neat diversions at the moment. I welcome them in the future, but making a good living here on Patreon is still something I'm getting used to and grateful for.

True Tales of the Illuminati

Achewood is at the core of most of my closest friendships, so first of all, thanks so much for making this extremely funny thing that I love and that has improved my life in so many ways. What's your process like for creating wonderful sentences? Do they just come out of you like jazz music or is it more of a watchmaker picking out the gears that will make the best tick? And speaking of wonderful sentences, what's your favorite non-Jeeves and Wooster Wodehouse novel, and what's your favorite Jeeves and Wooster?

Achewood

It could happen. There are new sad things upon which to muse all the time. For example, civilizational collapse. But how do I fit that pithily into two answer-panels? Thank you for reminding that it's a "beloved" format I can work with again!

Achewood

Damn. See above. But also, yesterday I saw this old grizzly dirty bitter guy walking down MLK while I was driving, and he was smoking and coughing pretty hard, and I was like, you used the miracle for this, dude, what the fuck

Achewood

These days it's a rich morning coffee. I gave up the ghost of the boozer years ago, so that I could continue to do things like breathe and write jokes. But as you have noticed, the lore is rich with the specific magique of dunkin' that Jupiter oil.

Achewood

I do not know it; tell me more!

Achewood

I am relaunching the merchandise shop in about a week, with exactly those things you mention! Thank you for asking.

Achewood

Andy the Robot, of course. While he looks at websites he likes.

Yelahneb Unicornucopiax

Although it would be unnecessary to expand the tell of this particular enigma of an Achewood character, I find myself wondering here and again about Cartilage Head. Will they ever return, or more accurately, will we?

David Thomas

Do you still have the original stuffed animals?

Yelahneb Unicornucopiax

My humble opinion: there should only ever be one Achewood Tik Tok, of Ray doing the gothic dance.

Phil

Where can I get a good deal on Rickenbacker drums?

Joe

Do the Tenmen have stage names, or do they use their birth names?

Clare Davis

What are the finances of Achewood as a business like (insofar as they're separate from yours as an individual - I don't mean to pry into your personal affairs)? I work in accounting and am always extremely curious about my favorite creators' P&Ls, balance sheets, etc., because I am a dork for numbers.

Bungus Bronbo

One thing about Achewood that's always stood out to me is the alt-text, which, every time, adds so much to the world and feeling of the comic while also adding absolutely no context to what just happened. Probably my favorite example of this is Feb 24, 2005, because it answers the only question that arose from that comic that did not need answering. I got two questions. First, how do you feel out what you want the alt text to say? I assume you just have a sense of what it adds and what it does not add, but it's almost like it has to be the exact wrong information added. I guess when in the strip creation process do you settle on what the alt text would be? I assume it varies. Second, November 29 2005 has the only instance I've found of alt alt-text, found through the oh no robot (it's "Killin' stork bought this van"). Would you happen to know of any other alt alt-text instances?

Bungus Bronbo

Actually May 2nd 2005 might have my favorite alt text because it just adds about fifty additional questions, none of which are satisfactorily answered without having already gone through the archives. The alt text walks an extremely fine line and I guess I'm mainly impressed by it and curious how you do it.

Laura Prado

I think you have too many beloved formats. I missed Achewood so much when you stopped doing it! I thought you'd show up in Stripped! (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stripped_(film)), the documentary about webcomics and was so sad when you weren't interviewed. If I may ask a second question, were you ever approached for it?

Bungus Bronbo

Crispy Stella's or continuing to breathe? A question we all must face in time.

Jake McIntyre

I have not read them, mostly out of a fear not dissimilar to that experienced by Pooh when he learned what the Public Domain can do with beloved characters. But your endorsement counts for a lot, so. Still think that an enterprising studio could make a tidy sum, if not Pokemon vs. Evangelion numbers, with a Blandings series adapted by a writer with the right ear for the dialogue.

Ben Wilinofsky

What feelings come up for you when I say the words "custom painting commission"

Caleb Gerard

I'm fully on board with the patreon model, but are there plans to eventually put some of these things on the free site? I just feel no one should miss an instalment because they were short on cash a month. More different question, how did/does Chucklebot 21,000's voice sound in your head? Personally I flip-flopped between a sort of filthy Steven Hawking/DECtalk voice, an early MacinTalk (like Fitter Happier/OS 7 era) or the WOPR computer from WarGames. Thank you again for bringing Achewood back, it has always held a special place in my heart.

Ben R. Williams

The thing that made me (and I'm guessing most folks here) truly fall in love with Achewood is the INCREDIBLY specific writing style; there are certain turns of phrase like "the wine so bad it made the news" that are unique to your work and I can't even articulate exactly why, I just know it when I see it. Is that writing style something that you have to actively work for, it does it just come naturally? Was there ever any concern when you started the Patreon that it would be difficult to get back into that headspace?

m

Achewood's scope, its characters, dramatic range, narrative sweep, and sheer IRL time--and through these its influence on my life and how I see and experience the world--is great. To attract an audience, draw it in, and keep it engaged, the author has to have a broad repertoire of tone and mood, and a feel for the "music of the language" of each of the work's characters. The nature of life, in Achewood or anywhere, is such that much of what is actually said is routine and banal, forced, faked, or forgotten immediately. Also like life, there are places I experience the voice of your writing as beautiful, powerful, telling, and poignant, and I sometimes have to resist the urge for ironic detachment and the fear of being the earnest sucker on the wrong side of the joke. Do you experience any of what you have written as beautiful, powerful, poignant, and telling, and if so do you identify more as the craftsman and creator of it, or as an aesthete appreciating its qualities?

jordan b.

http://kentuckyroutezero.com/ ... it's a multi-part 'adventure game' that leans more on narrative and atmosphere than inscrutable puzzles. Great for a quiet drizzly evening.

Achewood

I don't remember if they ever approached me, honestly. I went through many periods where I didn't respond to anything regarding comics. Acting this way makes one legendary, you know.

Achewood

I think you asked me another question elsewhere in this thread but I can't find it; it may be nested under a different question, which makes it unfindable using this platform :(

Achewood

You're welcome! It was super easy. Process: this is the tired old answer all writers who are out the other end of the tunnel give: sit down and write every day, for a long time. You have to limber up just like any endeavor. I haven't read much non-Jeeves Wodehouse that I remember, honestly. And this may make me a shallow fan but I enjoy them all equally. At this point I just pick one up and read a few pages or a chapter then return to my day much improved.

Achewood

He has come close to popping in since this year's relaunch, but shrank away upon learning he'd have to share a disproportionate amount of the stage with Winnie the Pooh. (He is terrified of items of comfort.)

Achewood

Yes, every single one. And two Philippes, for some reason. I forget how that happened. Maybe I got him wet.

Achewood

There are no good deals on Rickenbacker drums. Everybody who owns them knows exactly what the market will bear for these uncommon masterpieces.

Achewood

They cringe at the idea of names, a la "Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee." They find it a revolting trope from a naive time when a band had to rely on cute marketing rather than vacuum tubes and haunting pivots of melodic dissonance.

Achewood

I only allow myself to deduct expenses incurred while drawing ghostly figures in riveted mahogany triplanes. There is a form for this (1067-HFCS).

Achewood

The alt text was always written at the moment I was uploading the finished strip. Sort of like batting a grounder to an empty field after the game; it didn't matter, it was just some extra steam, no pressure. I am still charmed that it became a thing, and am somewhat sad that I can no longer technologically add it, although I suppose the writing space below each Patreon strip posting is its own new form of alt text.

Achewood

Although I am quite proud you seem to think I have each strip and its posting date committed to memory.

Achewood

A long learning process for two men who agree not to kill the artist

Achewood

I think the new content pretty much has to live on Patreon, as that's both the agreement subscribers and I have made with each other, and also what allows me to finally make a living doing this. That's a pretty good Chucklebot voice description. It has a little more cartoon mouse in it, like the slightly sped-up Alvin & Co, but not that fast. It's not deep and foreboding like those 80s examples. You're very welcome! I'm having more fun with it now than ever.

Achewood

I don't think those kinds of neural pathways go away. I still enjoy doing it, which is the part that makes it happen. A cool turn of phrase is, to me, like landing a hard new skateboard trick, or beating Novak Djokovic of Serbia in the 2007 men's singles final.

Achewood

I recognize when a passage of writing, in the comic or in the blogs, has attained a level that feels to me like poignancy. Then begins the process of wondering if the maximum level of poignance that I can achieve is laughable when compared to the level of poignance attainable by, say, Márquez. That mode of self-awareness lends a tinge of doubt that keeps me from fully tooting my own horn into my own face, and thus marching deafly into the halls of self-parody. Thank you for the extremely kind words, and for the thought-provoking question.

Ben Wilinofsky

I would like you to know that it has a place of honour on my office wall, at eye level while I am sitting. When I, for reasons of circumstances, am unable to get myself down to the water to muse in peace, I swivel my chair 90 degrees, and there is a place of peace my mind can go. ("Major Tomcat Thought About Computer Programming In The One Place They Couldn’t Touch Him" hangs above my desk. We can be Alone Together, him and I.)

Achewood

Ah, Téodor dying choking on Lyle's bottlecap. It reminds me that sometimes the alt text was just a place for me to take out my frustration at having to produce this small hard edited thing for 8-16 hours.

Achewood

Concluding the project with meeting and breaking bread together was a lovely way to wrap that up. You are a gentleman.

Zachary

One of my concerns is that the Achewood will have difficulty finding its rightful place in the canon as one of the great works of literature of the late 20th century; certainly not through any fault in the work, but because the academy has not adequately addressed itself to catalog and study of the genre. This is a serious question: have you ever considered what institution might ultimately serve as the repository for your work? Where you might donate your "papers", if you will? Have you ever been approached by an organization?

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Eyy thanks for taking the time to do this Q&A. Charley THA LEWWD was always a guilty pleasure of mine specifically for his unique language.

Pete

Achewood debuted on October 1st, 2001. Where were you on September 11th? (I am not accusing you of involvement)

Achewood

Did you know that I have an entry in the Library of Congress? I doubt they'll want all the misfires of Philippe paintings, though. At this point the answer to your question is, "I guess my kid will have to throw it all away," but I am certainly open to better suggestions. I had honestly never come up with a plan of succession other than the burden of inheritance.

Achewood

This was the actual launch day of Achewood -- I'm not kidding, I talk about it often. I launched it at 3am, told everybody I knew about it, then a few hours later, boom. Zero response. I went to work, then we all went to a bar around noon to process. Antonio's Nut House in Palo Alto.

Achewood

I just went and looked -- yeah, that is a cool visual. Thanks for the reminder -- At this point I've forgotten entire months of the strips and generally enjoy rereading them, unless I was in a real shit spot at the time and I can feel it in the work.

Kyle McCowin

You've gone back and forth on forums/comments/immediate fan feedback. Dumbrella, Assetbar, Discord, Patreon comments (and I assume you read TOUAMB sometimes). How are the current system working for you? Do you read them or just think of them as a space for us, not you?

A Cloth Map

Would you consider bringing back guest strips?

Stuart Davidson Tribbs

Hey, goober! Where's the merch? My Philippe For President hooded sweatshirt is don't know many years old and starting to physically fall apart and I do not want to get some dumb dropshipped fake, unless it gives you a cut!

Ryan Boyle

Chris, thank you for all your great work in the first era, and for finding a way to bring your talents back to us. A theme throughout your work is the confused state of modern masculinity. You were ahead of your time! The vacuum of male role models is being filled with charlatans who I won't name, but you all know who I'm talking about. You've clearly given this a lot of thought. What can we do, individually and collectively, to raise a generation of capable, thoughtful, well-rounded gentlemen? (I am a father of three sons and will really benefit from any of your thoughts here.)

Elyse Renée

One Californian to another, do you have a favorite place to visit here?

Blue Delliquanti

I'm curious if there are any artists in the current web/comic world whose work you follow or are currently inspired by.

Ryan Boyle

Sorry if this is a bad memory, but I recall you shared a sample of an Achewood video long ago. It clearly didn't work out. What was it like building that, and what went wrong? Does Achewood simply not translate well to video?

NotAnon

Are there any characters you regret kind of letting fall to the wayside?

Michael Carroll

What’s an awesome, under the radar recommendation for something I should get my foodie wife for the holidays ? A gadget or condiment or canned mixed drink, etc. Something I can get on-line in the ~$50 range?

Meemee

what is your latest favorite high-difficulty recipe to make?

Boas Benjamin

What would happen if Roast Beef visited Japan? 🇯🇵

Boas Benjamin

Also Todd. Can Todd move to Japan now that He is dead

Achewood

It seems that people who are willing to financially support the work aren't interested in spreading negativity, so the Patreon commenting culture has been pretty healthy and positive. I probably see all the comments on Patreon but I don't notice them popping into my head when I'm writing, other than to be generally aware that there are some very kind and good people who are looking forward to the work, whatever form it takes. I stopped looking for free public commentary on Achewood a very long time ago, and I shudder to remember that I ever did.

Achewood

As extras, sure, but not in place of the weekly comic. Some people did some really cool stuff, like Drew Weing, Andrice Arp, and Jesse Reklaw, to name but a few. Nobody's offering though, so it's not a problem I must face often.

Achewood

Yo! I am opening the updated merchandise shop within a week! You will not be able to avoid the many announcements I will make. Thanks!

Eric Manschot

What recent things have influenced your writing? (Life events, media, advice, etc)

Achewood

Make sure those boys can offer a good, sound handshake. Remember that time Hank Hill met George W. Bush, and when the President offered a weak handshake, it disturbed Hank to his core? If your boys need help developing this kind of grip strength, just have them refinish all the floors in the house a few times one summer. They'll be squeezing railroad spikes into brass knuckles like so much silly putty come fall. (PS It was nice of you not to name Carrot Top outright.)

Achewood

The Refuge in San Carlos. It is my soul food.

Achewood

I pick up anything Chris Ware does. Same with Al Columbia, who I wish could put out a new book every day.

Achewood

I think you can find it on YouTube. There was this software group that wrote some fancy new MoCap middleware, and they were hiring creatives to write scripts for them to animate, so we used some Achewood strips. We shopped the resulting animations around to about seven networks, but nobody bit. Pendleton Ward and I also did a fantastic production of the Great Outdoor Fight for Netflix, but that didn't get any further than the pilot before their stock crash sent their animation budgets tumbling, and us with it. It's a damned shame that will never see the light of day.

Achewood

As long as I'm living, I don't consider anybody really out of the picture, but sure, some characters were instantiated for a limited type of gag that just isn't needed often. But who is to say that Emeril or Penny won't make a reappearance for some good reason. Some might just be on longer cycles than the main cogs we typically see.

Achewood

A salt hog, a butter bell (always have room temp butter!), two excellent bottles of Durant Oregon olive oil (a finishing not a cooking oil), a good probe instant thermometer, a cordless immersion blender, a dedicated Tramontina nonstick pan for eggs only. If those don't work hit me up again.

Achewood

Sourdough focaccia from starter is such an involved and drawn-out process that it's probably the most difficult thing I make. Oh, the chicken wing recipe in the latest cookbook is bananas-level fantastic, and that involves a smoker and a fresh scratch sauce with ground coriander. If I were starting a restaurant, it would serve only those wings, and I would have a million dollars within about eight or nine days.

Achewood

He would repeatedly envision a train hitting his body at 300 miles per hour

Achewood

Japan has standards, dude. Not about everything, but they definitely have standards against Todd.

Jenn

Ray's advice column was the funniest ding-dang thing I ever read. Percentage-wise, how many of the questions you received were about building an alcohol cabinet, young love/dating advice, and [other category]? What was the deal with the explosive diarrhea guy? If anyone disagrees with me that the "who cares about a full time hamster wheel bitch fight, just be drinking at lunch time" isn't the best damn career advice ever given, they're damn wrong. Thanks for so many incredible laughs and memories, like SO. MANY.

Achewood

I had like a zillionth of a gram of mushrooms in an actual microdose tablet a few months ago. It made me feel pleasant for a bit, but then it took its pound of flesh and made me feel sad for a bit. Mushrooms are still ascendant in popular culture, so it's all part of the zeitgeist. I imagine there will be more representation of alienated and unnatural modern life in the coming years, as the applications of exponentially compounding technology start appearing to challenge us in ways that the car replacing the horse never could.

Achewood

That was about 93% of the material Ray received, with [other category] just being pushy guys from Zurich who thought Ray was real and actually could send them his blueprints for a discount Sybian. Thank you for being such a longtime Chochacho!

NotAnon

That's cool to know. I won't lie. I actually really love the arc with Teadore and Penny from way back when. And given that "run" ended not long after I was always a little bummed out that she never got to appear again.

Josh Burton

Do you ever have someone quote one of your Achewood lines back to you, but it's been so long since you wrote it that you don't remember it? What do you do then?

Thea

None of the Achewood characters are canonically trans as far as I know, but I personally have always felt a sort of kinship with Beef and projected some of myself on him in return (myself being a programmer with bouts of depression who also happens to be a trans woman). I guess my question is just if you've heard similar sentiments before and if it makes sense to you? To be clear, this question is not "is Beef secretly trans?", nor is it about canon Achewood in any way. E: just fixed a typo.

Thea

Less fuzzy question: any aspirations to write more and/or more fleshed out female characters into Achewood? I've never had the chance to read most of the stuff beyond the actual strips; I'm given to understand that Molly is a bit more fully realized in the old columns and such but can't speak to that myself.

Duncan

Do you miss doing the "alt text" from the original strips on the website? Because I miss reading them!

Ben Wissett

Oof. I knew you'd met with Pen Ward from photos but didn't know about the GOF. Fuckin Netflix.

Tom Morris

Where did the idea of Molly being Welsh come from? Does modern post-industrial Wales exist in the Achewood universe, or just old-timey Wales?

Amit Katz

What did you do before you started writing Achewood again? What led you to return?

True Tales of the Illuminati

Not at all! I feel the same way about Pratchett's books, or tbh, about Achewood. I just started reading Wodehouse last year and I've been flying through his books, so maybe I'll get to that same place with his work at some point.

Michael Carroll

Oh man, thank you so much, we have - and love - just about all those appliances. The olive oil looks interesting but I’d love to hear any other recommendations if you have the bandwidth

Thea

Ahh dang, I'd forgotten that bit! That's absolutely how I read that strip as well, good call.

Tom P

If I am visiting the Bay Area over the holidays, is it possible for me to view or access the Transfer Station in some form, or has it been converted into tech worker co-residency habitat modules?

Joe Elliott

When will I be able to buy a reproduction of the peeing Calvin sticker from Philippe's car (07/25/2005)?

Spyguitar

What real-life band sounds most like The Tenmen?

Achewood

As a parent, I have that whole suite of existential cares to worry about. I'm just barely having my morning coffee at the moment though and not quite ready to elaborate on that.

Achewood

If I don't immediately recognize it and it's kind of hanging there oddly in the air — because the energy around someone who quotes you to you is a little bit different and has a tiny affordance of expectation — and I slowly get what's going on, I'm comfortable asking "is that from a strip or the blogs or?" If I miss the reference entirely, it probably makes them sad, but then that is largely the function of ageing men in society, isn't it. By and large, if you make an Achewood reference to me and I don't catch it, please remind me that it's something I wrote. I've written too much stuff to remember at this point -- we counted over 1,000,000 words when we did the RayBot AI project.

Achewood

Have I heard from trans readers who mention that they feel a kinship with Roast Beef? Honestly this is the first time, but if that feeling of kinship is a shared experience, it's a very interesting aspect of the character to mull over. I'm happy to think that time will tease out more layers or capacities of some of the Achewood cast.

Achewood

Molly gets the same level of attention to backstory and character development in the strips and her blogs as most of the non-Beef, non-Ray characters. Have a look at her blogs and let me know if you agree. I also wrote a GOF spinoff about Ray's mom for Netflix, but never got to actually pitch it.

Achewood

I do, but I console myself that the space for editorializing below each of the new strips is like a mega-alt-text. Thanks!

Achewood

Oh, modern Wales exists. I didn't just leave a black hole on the globe when transposing the world into Achewood. Why is Molly Welsh in the first place? I had seen some pictures of Welsh traditional costuming on the early Internet and it stuck with me as a fascinating culture that wasn't overdone in media at the time.

Achewood

I did so many things. I started Portland Soda Works with a friend, I wrote food journalism for the Portland Mercury, I did a lot of R&D with allulose, I consulted on cannabis and terpene products (as well as food and bev formulation), and I even worked part-time in a grocery store as a cook in order to get health insurance for a surgery I needed. I returned to Achewood because Oni and Netflix deals collapsed and I was like, "fuck it. I can't rely on anybody but me, so here goes." I realized that being the Achewood guy was actually enough for me -- I didn't need to go develop some other, separate thing. Patreon was a brilliant place to set up shop and I've been happier than I ever have with writing Achewood. Thanks!

Achewood

Shoreway Environmental Center - Public Recycling Center -- that's the transfer station I used when I was in the bay area. But the transfer station in the strip is obviously an amalgam of that plus creepy ones in the mountains, which I went to as a very little kid.

Achewood

I'm in talks with the lawyers even now. If things work out with Watterson, we're looking at Q2 of 2029.

Achewood

The Mermen, crossed with Holidays in Cambodia by DK

Eli Parker

It does seem like being named "Cassandra" at birth corresponds to being assigned female at birth, though it seems like he was assigned male later based on his genitals developing.

Sedric and Charlie

for what it's worth I loved both the Nice Pete recordings and the two pieces by The Tenmen. I just wish there was a recording of 'Making love in a limo on an airplane on a spaceship bound for spaaaace'

Sedric and Charlie

I still routinely use "and I do not apologise to you or any other" when describing my pleasures in life

James Wellence

Ah yes. My least favorite part of walking around these days is when a tent dweller's pit bull runs up to you as you're just passing by. I may have to check out the Metaverse for strolls, now that Zuck has finally added a "legs" feature.

Marc Bryant

Other than mail vomit to his grandmother, what would Teodor rather do than listen to the Grateful Dead?

Jason Love

Hi, Chris. I've developed a bad habit of snacking when I'm bored, but my cholesterol suggests I haven't been making the best choices in this regard. Have you modified your diet as you've aged? Any recommendations?

James Wellence

"Pesto is not a sandwich spread. You’re thinking of aioli. Actually, you’re probably thinking of pesto." One of my favorite insults of all time and I have shamelessly stole and adapted this line more than once.

Thea

I would truly love to see more of Mrs. Smuckles, that's a lady with a Presence.

Thea

And yeah it's about time I got around to reading the blogs.

Thea

I've definitely heard other trans femmes express this, although I can't speak to how widely spread it is. Others in my life insist that if any Achewood character reads as secretly trans (an "uncracked egg" in terminally online trans terminology) it's Téodor - I'm not sure I personally see it, but there you go.

Jay Y

"I boo the nacho!" "I boo the nacho as his father!" is one of those things in my brain's RAM that activates at any given time.

Achewood

Snort LaCroix, sand a 1978 Rambler down to the steel with 600-grit paper, listen to Phish

Achewood

Yes, I found that keeping a tub of cut vegetables in the fridge, like you'd have for crudités, was a good way to detox from the usual snacks of cheap flour / sugar / corn. Took several weeks for those addictions to dissipate (and I do find those cravings very similar to drug cravings, in predictability if not in intensity). I also took up a habit of walking several hours a day, but not to the fridge. Good luck with Cholesterol! It's how they got Leo Fontanette. Bad stuff.

Joe Elliott

Sometimes I wish a high-resolution copy the artwork would appear on the internet and then accidentally fall into my laser printer in a one-off fair-use kinda way.

Galen Richmond

Before expanding the answer I was all like "please, The Mermen"

David Mandeix

This feels like a beef strip in the making. I can feel it...stewing.

Bert Zangle

Humble question on a perhaps touchy subject: Can you quantify the chance of a 'Collected Achewood' appearing in print, in one form or another, during Malala Yousafzai's (expected) lifetime?

Benjamin Baron

Same curiosity. I have pieces of money waiting to be spent.

Achewood

At some point it may be baffling to me that out of all the comics collections that physically sit upon shelves, no publisher recognizes the value of this project, but for now there is no path to this existing. It was so close with Oni; I literally have a pdf of the 98% finished first volume.

Sarah Eubanks

For what it's worth, Michigan State University has the largest publicly-accessible repository of comics in the world. Anywhere in the world would be lucky to save Achewood from a future trash heap, but they are particularly well-equipped to do so. You'd probably even get Special Collections status.

Bert Zangle

I'm not that deep into the arcana of crowdfunding, even less so into those of publishing. So, for all I know, the following is total BS? But could reaching out to a publisher to launch a joint Kickstarter be an option?

Achewood

Towards the end Oni floated the Hail Mary of a Kickstarter; it’s when I knew the beans would not last the winter. Such a path is not uncommon, but administrating such a complex effort is a very full-time job and not the desirable path. I don’t know, I am just honestly stumped why Action Bronson can get a cookbook but Achewood can’t get so much as a sheet of toilet paper.

Bert Zangle

No offense, but it's probably the five exclamation marks in "Bon Appetit ..... Bitch!!!!!" that ensured AB's critical & commercial success. Four would have come across as timid, six as excessive. You of all people should have seen that and adapted (cf. double/triple/solo ChatSacks).