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Episode 125 [PATREON EXCLUSIVE] -- Kristi Noem (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-09 03:45:16
Imported:
2026-09

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Content

Moira and Adrian discuss the life and crimes of Kristi Noem, outgoing Secretary of Homeland Security -- her MAGA conversion, the cabinet member as content creator, the storm trooper cosplay, and of course the whole dog thing!

Comments

Owen Symes

My senator is Slotkin and she is the worst. CIA stooge during Iraq War, ok on social issues, but big on being a "responsible" hawk. She believes in vaccines *and* cruise missiles! I dunno if she warrants a bonus episode, but in most other countries I think she'd be a conservative

Cheyenne Montgomery

I wonder if the dog story would have been less sticky if she had been a man. There must be an example of a man in public life doing something similar…?

Cheyenne Montgomery

I mean, Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face, but I guess that was an accident - and it happened after he already had the vice presidency

Lorenz K

i support the angry dog

Z F

I remember Romney caught some flack when it came out that he had taken a road trip with the family dog in a kennel on the roof of the car... irresponsible behavior, but not quite on the same level as an execution

Helen McCallum

Leave the dog in, the dog deserves its say! *justice for Cricket*

Cheyenne Montgomery

I forgot about that one! But, yeah, not an execution and without bragging about it

Shale

Yes Moira the part about the pets! I watched my family sob over stories about Ukrainians fleeing with their pets. It took Ahmed the Little Farmer and his cats for me to get more of them to care about Palestine. I think it (along with proximity to whiteness of course) helps people identify more with people across the globe. Which is all to say, no one can relate to murdering their naughty puppy. Like, no one?

Shale

When Kristi got fired, one of my family members posted a picture of their dog and said “yay! The dog (and human) killer is out of office!” - like people are the afterthought 😣

Kiera

My Spanish boyfriend moved to Chicago in August 2024. Starting in January 2025, he started receiving daily YouTube ads from DHS with Kristi Noem narrating propaganda slop (think images of white families eating apple pie at a 4th of July picnic). The most striking line was “if you are illegal, we’ll find you, deport you, and you’ll never return.” We think they have some sort of algorithm that targets Spanish-language users because I never got those ads. And in the TSA line at the airport, her face was displayed on monitors giving instructions on IDs, etc. I remember my boyfriend saying her face scared him. Maybe that’s another purpose of the Mar-a-lago face and Kristi Noem’s influencer tours. It’s meant to inspire fear.

Kriston

me: grew up in South Dakota 👀 also me: moved to Minneapolis as soon as it was feasible 💜

Jolanta Benal

Moira. Please. "Discipline" is not a thing that puppies need. For some reason, dog care is painfully subject to creeping authoritarianism, and the language and ethos of command and discipline are almost impossible to eradicate. What puppies need is consistent, gentle structure with attentive positive reinforcement for desirable behavior. And, by the way, it's entirely possible to have a young dog with pleasant manners. Source: I'm a retired dog trainer who took the trouble to study animal behavior and learning. Sorry to go off, but I have seen so many dogs harmed by old-school coercive "discipline"

Jenny

I find that the outsized empathy for dogs and cats (in comparison to empathy for people) to be an overwhelmingly white American phenomenon. It's about showering benevolence upon their lessers (i.e. "innocent" creatures they can control and adore). The great majority of POC and non-white cultures I know don't fetishize cats/dogs/pets this way.

David in Brooklyn

if I remember correctly, early episodes of this season of South Park featured her face separating itself from her body and sliding around on the ground by itself. Sexist mockery, but still apt.

Grace Carter

Not the dog having the last word 😂😂 that was perfect 🧑‍🍳🤌

A Felt

I agree with Moira that Noem’s appearance is worth discussing because of the political ideology it represents. I do think there’s a difference between that feminist criticism and the men (often ostensibly allies) who enjoy proclaiming how unattractive they find her.

A Felt

Also “Not My First Rodeo: Lessons from the Heartland” as a book title really sounds like a 30 Rock joke 😂

William Nerdsworth

Also POC (in particular Black people) have long pointed out that white folks in general are FAR more willing to extend empathy to animals than to POC.

Emily Hamilton

Not precluding the possibility of something stickier going on psychologically with the dog stuff, but I do have to wonder whether it might be no more or less complicated than the fact that more white Americans have a pet (68%) than have a single friend of color (25%)

Jeanne H-B

She is still banned from tribal lands, seven different tribes iirc. About a fifth of the state of SD.

Jeanne H-B

The Cricket story includes not just killing her adolescent dog, but a goat, too. The last straw was Cricket killing her friends' chickens; Kristi already knew her dog was not ready for such an exciting scene, but she let the dog loose among the chickens anyway. Cricket paid the ultimate price for being a young pointer with an irresponsible owner. After shooting Cricket, Kristi decided to kill a goat for just being a goat. It was an intact male and it smelled like a male goat, and it chased and/or butted folks in its space. Goat being a goat. So she shot but only maimed him, and had to go away to get a reload to finally kill him. This incompetent, irresponsible, cruel woman wrote about those events in her book, thinking it showed her as a person with resolve, willing to do the hard, right thing, a responsible farmer/hunter/shooter/parent. Of course it shows the exact opposite.

J S Sollars

I wonder if ultimately she killed Cricket because it embarrassed her in front of her friends. It's as if the incident highlighted something she felt deeply insecure about (dog training) and she had to obliterate the evidence of her failure.

basil water

shoutout to the editor/ghostwriter who probably hated Kristi's guts and let this go through into the book

Jenny

As an immigrant myself, seeing Kristi Noem's face on airport screens always reminds me of the Saw puppet - and of course immediately brings to mind her photoshoot at CECOT. So yes, I concur with the fear inducing factor 🥲

sonorasgirl

As an empathetic person and former dog trainer, I often think about the studies showing that folks who are going to harm people hurt animals first - Cricket is NOT the most important victim of Noem’s (the many, many people she has jailed/sickened/detained/killed are) but anyone who is willing to do that to something under their control shouldn’t be given power. The dog story should’ve stopped her from ever gaining political clout, only because it’s evidence for how she views and uses authority.

William Knight

The thing about the Cricket story is that it glorifies ruthlessness and the willingness to kill as the height of moral virtue, which especially in light of her DHS tenure is worth noting is basically Nazi shit. Like leaving aside valid points about the weird Anglo (the English, if anything, are worse) fixation of animals over people, there is a thru-line between the anecdote and her fascist politics.

William Knight

Like she treats people like the dog.

Susan Olson

Kristi Noem does seem to catch a lot of gendered insults from the left and I've been trying to sort through my feelings about it but they're still mostly a muddle. There's the infernally catchy "Kristi Noem is a bird-legged ho" and also the adaptation of Bruce Channel's "Hey! Baby": Heyyyyyyy, Kristi No-oem! I wanna knooowwww Why you're such a c*nt Frankly, a question worth asking and God knows I have no motivation to defend her or pull apart what keeps protestor morale up during a crisis in my city. And also: ughhhh.

Jadyn

Any other South Dakotans here? 🙋‍♀️

Laura

I'm still enjoying the episode, but Moira's rant about how South Dakota has two senators reminds me of one of my favorite tidbits: San Mateo county in CA (which does not include the cities of San Francisco or San Jose) has a larger population than the state of Wyoming.

Moira Donegan

It’s just you and Kristi Noem! (Thank you for listening!)

Jadyn

🤝

The Fat Culture Critic

I think there is a distinction between talking about a woman’s looks, her body, and her aesthetic choices. Noem and her ilk make very specific aesthetic choices intended to cater to not only the male gaze but Trump’s preferences. It’s a choice and choices are worth critiquing

Astraea

"Kristi Noem is a bird-legged ho" omg! I have genuinely complex feelings about it. On the one hand, it's commenting on and insulting a woman's body and her sex life instead of all the genuinely horrendous moral choices she's made as part of her actual job. On the other hand, that song is catchy AF and Kristi Noem is the last person on earth whose feelings or reputation or respect I care about right now. So....yeah, complex.

Astraea

There's definitely a horrifying throughline of "if I couldn't train the dog that means she was untrainable," as opposed to the far more normal human reaction of "this dog and I aren't a good fit, I'll re-home her." It really gives the impression that the only purpose Cricket served was to make Kristi feel good about herself.

Astraea

Yikes. I think in some ways it's easier for people to hate her for killing Cricket because it's "not political." And look, I freely admit to having various pet-related news stories burned into my memory (people sheltering with their pets in the Kyiv subways, an animal hospital in Kabul during the Taliban takeover, etc). But while Noem definitely should have "puppy-murderer" permanently etched into her legacy . . . guys, the top of that list needs to be "gleeful murderer and torturer of fellow human beings."

Astraea

Not gonna lie, I was holding my breath for that whole list going, "Please not my senators, please not my senators...."

Rhianna79

Yeah, I remember the 2000 election and how the looks of Secretary of State Katherine Harris became a talking point on the left. Harris played it up since it distracted from what was actually going on. So there's that lens too.

Abijah Gattis

Can we get an update on the husband 😳