Extra Bonus #79: Luna Opens Up to Charlie (Patreon)

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RESOURCES:  Check out this narrative timeline graphic to visually see when this bonus scene takes place.

SPOILER WARNING: This bonus takes place during UNLUCKY LIKE US and will contain MAJOR spoilers from the book and will ruin your reading experience if you have not read Unlucky first.

“I LEFT IT IN my bedroom this time, follow me,” Charlie says, not wasting a second as he leads me into his room. It’s a short walk from the living room of the Hell’s Kitchen apartment. It’s also a place I’ve never stepped foot in…that I can remember.

Was OG Luna allowed in here?

Charlie’s walls are painted a charcoal color, and gold-framed paintings of various cities, rural landscapes, and buildings are hung. His room is what I’d expect of a world traveler. A place to rest your feet and store memorabilia. I spin a sepia-colored globe while he crouches down to a locked filing cabinet beside his desk.

It’s only been a couple days since the Fanaticon Convention, and so much happened. I met the strongest wave of grief over my lost memories. I confided in Donnelly, and he held me in the shower. We spent the night together in the hotel room. It’d been intimate, more emotional than physical.

I felt hopeful about what I can possibly have with Donnelly. All I can do now is build a new life and try not to fixate over the heavy loss of OG Luna. Over what was.

“I’m letting her go,” I suddenly say.

Charlie peers back at me.

I can’t decipher his expression, so I add, “Original Luna. I’m letting her go.”

“I know what you meant.” He unlocks the cabinet, then pulls out my manuscript. I’m wondering if he’s shutting down this sort of personal conversation. Maybe he wants to stick to only grammar and feedback on my writing. Maybe that’s all he had with OG Luna, but what if I want something deeper than what she had?

So I tell him, “It’s been almost a month of not remembering, and I just want it to stop.”

“What to stop?”

“This feeling. It’s anxiety and frustration on another level—like if I don’t find her, I’m losing everything.” But it’s not true. Donnelly reassured me that I won’t lose him.

Charlie surprises me when he gestures to his desk chair.

He’s telling me to sit? I take the direction, walking over in black galactic socks. I sit cross-legged on the seat.

He stays standing, not flipping through the manuscript yet. “Have you remembered anything?”

I mention the pieces before my eighteenth birthday, then add, “I’ve seen flashes of the night I was kidnapped…just a room, the wallpaper and floor…and that’s it.” I look over at him. “Did you think they’d come back? My memories?”

“I thought you writing again would trigger them,” he admits.

My stomach sinks. “It hasn’t done that for me. I’ve tried.”

Charlie thinks, his gaze going to the left, then down to the manuscript in his hand. “Forcing an outcome can be like shoving a square peg in a round hole.”

“How do I find the round peg?”

“You’re asking the wrong person.” He leans on a bookcase across the room, his shoulders bracing against a shelf of encyclopedias in different languages. “I don’t find round pegs. I craft them out of the square ones.”

I consider this. “How would I…?”

“I don’t know,” Charlie says more softly. “I’m sorry.”

I try not to let a heaviness settle in my stomach. I didn’t come here looking for a solution to my amnesia. I shrug. “You can’t miss what you don’t remember.”

Charlie arches his brows. “Who told you that?”

“Myself.”

His brows fall back down. “Then why are you lying to yourself?”

“I thought it’d help,” I say quietly. “It’s just three years. Not a lot happened. It’s not like my brother got married and had a baby. It’s not like we all went to the Olympics to watch Sulli win gold, or that there was a shooting at a Summer Fest, or I broke a bone at a charity golf thing. Or you were robbed at a carnival fundraiser.”

Charlie looks irritated at the last one. “Which of my brothers told you about that?”

“Eliot, but he said he heard from someone. I don’t know who.”

He rolls his eyes, then says, “So you want to remember the good and the bad events of the past three years.” It’s not a question. It’s what he’s gathered off very little.

“I’d rather have the whole picture, but it’s greedy, considering I’ve barely been given a morsel.”

“I’d want the same.”

That surprises me too.

I pick at a frayed hole in my jeans. “If we truly are a combination of all the people we’ve met and all the experiences we’ve had, then what happens if I never find her, Charlie?” It’s a part of what scares me. It’s why reaching for Original Luna has been so important. It’s why letting her go is another hurdle entirely.

“Then you’re someone different than who you were. But you would’ve been someone different regardless of the amnesia.”

I frown, not understanding.

He sees. “You were kidnapped. You don’t think that would’ve stayed with you? You don’t think that experience would’ve changed you? You missed three years, but you were going to have more. You were always going to be someone else, Luna. Don’t you get it?”

This rationale eases me in a strange way. It lifts a weight. Original Luna wasn’t always going to be the same either. She would eventually change. Not into the version I am right now, but she could’ve been sadder, more defeated, more broken, more alone.

What if this is the happiest timeline? What if this is the one with the greatest possibility of having the brighter future?

He straightens off the bookshelf, studying my reaction. “Did Moffy tell you the same thing?” I hear only a tinge of bite when he mentions my older brother.

“I haven’t really talked to him in depth about the amnesia like this,” I mention. “Would she have? OG Luna?”

Charlie lifts his shoulders. “You were more likely to talk to him than to me.” He limps a little on his way to his queen-sized bed, then takes a seat.

So in this new path, I’m choosing Charlie over Moffy? Or would OG Luna have just withdrawn into herself because Moffy was now busy being a father?

I don’t know which is true. Maybe all things circle back around and there is only one true path—the path where I would’ve always sought out Charlie at this stage in my life.

He flips through the manuscript, and my pulse skids, not wanting this conversation to veer into grammatical errors. It feels like Charlie is giving me his entire day, when I know he could very likely leave at any second.

“Do you think, like everyone else, that I’m too obsessive over Donnelly?”

“Everyone else sounds like a gross generalization, considering my annoying little brothers love the idea of you with him.”

I smile at that. “But do you think it’s a post-trauma reaction or something? My love for him?”

He sighs, lowering the manuscript to his lap. “I’m not your therapist.”

Oh. I try to shrug, but I just ball my hands in my long sleeves.

Charlie stares through me for the longest moment. I feel more exposed, opening myself up this freely, and I’m not sure I love it—but I can’t back track.

I manage to say, “If you were my therapist, you’d tell me: Yes, you are most definitely only in love because of trauma.”

“So what if it’s a trauma-bond?”

“I think most people would say they’re bad, unhealthy.”

“Who cares?” His yellow-green eyes land back on the manuscript. “If you love being with him, then just be with him.”

“Did you give this advice to OG Luna too?”

“No, I told you to stay away from him.” He flips the manuscript, as if he just declared his favorite color. Nothing of importance. Nothing startling, but I am startled!

“You what?” I try to chase after my shortened breath.

“I told you not to be with him. His family was dangerous. And look what happened.” He cocks his head. “Was I shocked how it went down? No, not at all.” He turns another page. “But people don’t always take the best advice they’re given. Emotions are destructive things.” He flips a page and skims a few lines.

Charlie Cobalt cared about me. That’s what I’ve gathered off this short convo. I know he still must care, but he no longer believes Donnelly’s family is a threat to me. Not when most are in jail and awaiting a hearing.

“Did we talk like this a lot?” I ask.

“No.”

“Did she know if you’ve ever been in love?”

“No.” His tone sounds more irritated, but I’m beginning to like pressing Charlie for facts and info. If I hit a boundary, I know he’ll tell me. So why not stick my toes over the dangerous line?

“Are you currently dating anyone?”

“No, and what’s with the interview?” He glances up at me. “You plan to sell my dating history to Celebrity Crush?”

“Only for a million dollars and a Fruit Roll-Up.”

His lip quirks. “Don’t settle for anything less than five mil.” One more page flip. “I’m going to create a grammar sheet for you and a list of words you’re using incorrectly.”

“I’ve gotten worse at writing,” I realize, but I’m not that dejected since I thought I wouldn’t be as good as her.

“You’re the same as you were when I first read your fics. You’re making the same mistakes that you stopped making. I know what you’ve already improved on, so the cheat sheet should help.” He hands the manuscript to me.

“Thanks, Charlie.”

I’m about to stand, but he seems troubled by something all of a sudden. He even raises a hand, as though telling me to stay.

So I lean back in the chair.

“I want to be completely honest with you,” Charlie says, his eyes on mine. He has an intense stare, but I find myself not wanting to shy away from him.

“Okay…what about?” Is this the part where I shouldn’t trust Charlie? Where I should run? It’s funny because all the instincts inside me say, Trust him.

He’s good.

When, I know very well, he’s not always been a good person when it comes to my older brother.

“I didn’t warn you about Donnelly in those exact words. I told you, Don’t fuck Donnelly.”

“…okay.”

“I told you he’s contaminated. Disease-ridden.”

I frown, my heart hurting.

Charlie never breaks my gaze. “I told you if you fuck him, you die. And I said it all in front of him.”

Ouch. “That…that must’ve really hurt him.” It wells a pain inside of me, just thinking about it.

“I didn’t care about him,” Charlie admits with no remorse. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

My frown deepens. “That would’ve hurt OG Luna. She loved him too.”

“I’m not talking about that type of hurt, Luna,” he breathes, then skates a hand through his golden-brown hair. “I was willing to hurt you, him, Moffy, Farrow, anyone if it meant you’d take my advice. Emotions are destructive,” he repeats what he said earlier. “But it’s not what would’ve killed you.”

I think about when I woke up in the hospital. Though I can’t remember it, I had sex with Donnelly the same day I was taken by his family. I know this because of the rape kit.

“I didn’t listen to you,” I tell him.

“Clearly.”

I stare at the manuscript in my hands now. These new facts don’t paint Charlie in the best light. He went about it in a harsh and cruel way. Possibly this was his attempt of shaving the square peg to fit in the round hole, and it didn’t work out this time.

I whisper, “Why tell me at all?”

“Because you deserve the whole picture.” He stands off the bed. “Make of it what you want.” He leads me out of his room and to the exit, and there’s a stiffness in his stance, maybe expecting me to hate him now.

I don’t brush him off. Instead, I ask, “When can I expect the cheat sheet?”

He looks down at me. “In a couple hours. Check your email.”

I nod and hug the manuscript to my chest, about to thank him, but he says, “Don’t thank me.” He opens the door, the apartment hallway in sight. “Take care, Luna.”

“You too.”

Thanks so much for reading the extra bonus! It seems to be a Charlie Cobalt kind of month ☺️ We're back in the "present" timeline with Unlucky Like Us for this one, and we loved showcasing more of the budding friendship between Charlie and Luna. Their relationship has been one of our favorite to explore.

You have all the bonuses and podcasts for October! So we'll be back in November for more. Thanks so much for being a patron. We really appreciate all the support here during our "in-between" release months!

xoxo Krista & Becca

"Luna Opens Up to Charlie," Copyright © 2023 by K.B. Ritchie