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an update (Patreon)

Published:
2025-04-27 00:58:15
Edited:
2025-04-27 01:00:27
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

hey pengoons, i'm really sorry for the suddenness of this. i'm been mulling it over in my head on whether i should just push through and do it, or just cancel, but...

i wanted to go through with the stream tonight, but truth be told i don't think i'm in the right headspace for it. something negative happened all of a sudden after my stream earlier and well i'm just too mentally ill to ignore it i guess, it's been getting to me. i guess i'm kind of the type of person where stupid shit can ruin my whole night huh?

i don't think it'd be good for me to try to force myself to go tonight. i don't think you would like that either...i want to be able to be myself and enjoy it, but when i'm like this, i don't feel like i can. i really want our time together here to be the best it can be, i don't want to disappoint you either and not live up to your expectations

and yet i already know this will probably be disappointing to you too, so i feel kind of stuck...i'm sorry, but i do think it's best overall for me to postpone tonight's stream...it really breaks my heart too knowing you might have planned for this, changed your schedule for it, that any new time i set might not work while this time did, that you paid for this with the intent it would be at this specific time...i'm really really sorry, i just can't do it tonight. I will try my best to make up for it when i can. trust me, I was looking forward to it too...

would tomorrow night be good? same time? that's what i'm thinking...let me know. 04/27 9PM EDT then? I should be good by then! I probably just need a good night's sleep to get over it and feel better...tonight maybe I'll try to chill and get my mind off things with some xenoblade

i'll do my best to avoid this stuff in the future, but ahh what can you do sometimes? >.<

I love you lots okay, thank you so much for being understanding ;-; 💙If it's a dealbreaker for you though, well I completely understand too, feel free to be upset at me for being stupid and having to cancel something you were looking forward to, uuuu u can just beat me up okay? >~<

Comments

0nlyHope

It's ok; life happens...ur mental is important. Please take care until then! 💙

Blue Cheese

dont worry about it zenya, take care of yourself! we all love and support you and want the best for you. tomorrow same time is perfect and if that changes too then dont stress it. love you lots zenya take it easy <3

Ayano

I am so angy that I got goosebumps. Just kidding, your health is important focus on yourself you got this

Bossanova51

It’s all good, how you feel is what matters most! Take the night off and relax so you can come back better and stronger❤️

Lalli

Tomorrow night sounds great, I really hope you feel better. Gaming will definitely be nice and I hope you don’t feel bad if you have to do this in the future as well. Life happens and it’d be waaay worse to brush it over instead of doing what you feel you need to do for yourself. Take care. :D

Puzanga

It’s okay zenya, don’t overthink ! Have fun playing xenoblade 🩵

Anta

Look at this pervert wanting to be beat up💢 Jokes aside is all good❤️ as I said before, is fine to take the night off and rest Could also be better for your throat since you did a stream today and tomorrow is gonna be short too? Still giving time to your throat to rest is good❤️ I know you'll feel bad and guilty anyway postponing it so if it makes you feel better you can give us extra love tomorrow and that's all anyone could ask for❤️ Love you rest well❤️

Goatfort

Waiting is worth it if it gets you in the right headspace.💙 Know that i'd never feel disappointed in you. ok. tomorrow is totally fine. And now we pengoons have the free time for some hunting with our fists.

Ike

Don't ever worry about taking time for yourself! Tomorrow is a fine time for it 💙 Love you Zen

vgboss

I'm glad you came to a decision that put your health first. I would never want you to force yourself to do something. Please take care, I love you, ok? Your still a wonderful person to me 💙

woof

all good let us know how far u get in xenoblade

Grane

You mental health and well being should always be priority. I'm proud of you for making that decision. I look forward to the next steam.

NEET

awwww, baby, don't ever apologize for having negative feelings, it's simply human, and God knows I also let the stupidest stuff stick with me for no reason at all, I love you and I'll always support you, hope you feel better for our date tomorrow then, take it easy and I'll always love you, no matter what, miss you

Claymore 155

Don't force yourself, please. This is meant to be for your enjoyment as much as our own, so if you aren't, then we aren't. Take care of what is needed. Clear your head, and don't be afraid to reach out or talk if needed. Whatever it takes to help you. Take care, please.

Raven

No worries, please take care of yourself, that's the most important ♥

Hachi

I won't be able to participate with the change of schedule but don't worry, just rest up! ❤️

Blam

its all good don't even worry about it, tomorrow works great! 💙

Sharkington

Tomorrow is just fine. Not sure what happened but you are correct to not force yourself into doing a stream when you aren't feeling it. I hope you feel better. Definitely NOT upset at you, only at whatever negativity was directed towards you.

Nier♡

We understand completely, Zen. Your mental and physical health should always be your top priority. Take care of yourself. See you tomorrow then. 💙💙

ThermalGeist

Its ok, dont worry. I want you to also have fun and if thats not the case then i will wait for you

JonJonFE

Stuff happens. Don’t worry about it. We all want you at your best and if thats tomorrow or whenever time you feel comfortable with, then so be it. Take it easy! 💙

AgentBlackwatch

Health comes first. We can wait as long as you need us to Zenya 💙

Eroll

It'd definitely feel wrong if you were to force yourself, do what's best for you

NEET

you know something I always thought would be romantic is having my little princess lay on my lap as she crys and tells me about her worries, I know I like to be rough, but I really care about you, you know?, please don't let it get you too down, love you baby 💙🩵💙🫳🫳

Underseer

If tomorrow works for you, then sure, but if you need more time, that's also understandable. Forcing yourself is never good, and you can't plan for stuff like this to happen

Varric

If it makes you feel better, you could do next Saturday and keep the same schedule and time. I don't think anyone can complain then.

Skyunai

I'm not disappointed at all Zen, intact I'm happier that you are taking it off to rest, I'm not here on patreon specifically for this, I'm here because I want to support you, everything else is just a bonus, rest up and have fun with Xenoblade darling, I love you, take care, I don't think any less of you for postponing, you are what's important to me, and I wouldn't want you doing anything you aren't in the right headspace for, Love you x10 forever and always, see you tomorrow and whenever else you'll have me 💙

Rainy clouds

Zen the only thing I want is for you to smile be happy and enjoy things that *You want to do* Tomorrow is fine silly.. love you sweetheart.

Hazz

It's okay baby. You don't need to apologise. Your wellbeing matters so much more than just one stream. I pay to support someone I love, not just for the content. Take care of yourself sweetheart <3 If you need anything, I'm always here. Everyone else is too

theDeathBerry

Dont worry Zen, we would never want you to force yourself to do anyhting. Your health is always the most important thing so just take care of yourself💙

Jesse Strobel

What I hope for more than anything here is that whatever has you down gets rectified, so you feel better. I give through Patreon as one of many means to show I care about you. Love you, Zen~ ❤️

shadowvais

it's all good, please don't feel bad. you did nothing wrong, okay? i love you and i want you to feel good, always. try to just rest easy, take care of yourself however you need, and come back whenever you're ready. rest up princess 💙

Una Una?

Your health and happiness comes first, rest all you want and we’ll always be here!

ANONYMOUS

Bro do not worry about it at all. I get stuck and lost in my head too much so I completely understand when you need r&r and time to yourself. Dont worry about the money either man im choosing to pay this money and support you. The things you do are just bonus lol. Love ya take care💙

Dotman

No worries at all Zen!! 💙💙💙 I completely support your decision; Your happiness and mental health will always be our priority!! Sending you lots and lots of love, reassurances, cuddles and positive energy your way!! Your emotions are completely valid so please don't beat yourself up for this okay? Thank you for always being so thoughtful and considerate of us💙 Tomorrow at 9pm EDT works great for me, but if for whatever reason you need more time then please don't be afraid to let us know okay? 💙Hope that all of our love and a chill comfy night can help you take your mind off of the negativity!! Brainworms begone!! Always here for you and cheering you on Zen!! 💙

Bahins

Don't say such things, how could I ever be upset with you. I would rather hug you tighly and give you lots of headpats. Tomorrow works fine, it's not an issue at all. Love you 🩵

Budness

I'm pleased to know you decided against going through with it while you're not in the best headspace right now. Its wrong to be upset or force you to still do it. It would be a lot better if you were enjoying yourself along with us. We're here for you and want you to be happy. Your mental health takes top priority. I love you with all my heart Zen. Try to relax yourself and take care. Hope you can find comfort with the rest of your night with your games or anything else you end up doing 💙💙💙

PharaohAzure

take all the time you need, and keep your head up no matter what. the negativity will always buffer out as long as you do.

Shade

Sending all my love, what hurts is to see you hurting so please do what you gotta do and don't worry about it okay.

Zaveris

It's okay Zenya, I hope I speak for many of us when I say we would rather have you enjoy streaming to us then force yourself to. I'm personally good with tomorrow at the same time. And I hope you feel better and that the rest of your day and tomorrow goes better for you. 💙

Vic

I could not enjoy it without you enjoying it, tomorrow is fine too of course. Love you lots 💙

Thunderslap21

Understandable, tomorrow works fine so no worries Zen. Sleep well and see you tomorrow.

Raptorwrap

Don’t worry. If you’re not feeling it, that’s fine. Sorry that something ruined your night. Best wishes!

Karoh

I will allow myself to tell you the pragmatic side here. While the delay might be disappointing, nobody wants you to push yourself through a bad mindset like this; It's a surefire way of making you hate doing this altogether. That would be a bad outcome even for people who are here "for content". Speaking from heart I want to send you all the hugs. You deserve the time for yourself. I appreciate you regardless.

Amadis Anguiano

It's a wonderful thing seeing all these comments being supportive and wanting the best for you. You have a good bunch here

dhjebshnd ahjdjuzjs

It happens. As disappointing as it is to know we wont get to spend time together tonight, we want our time together to be the best it can be. Dont force yourself through whatever pain youre going through, none of us want that. Take care of yourself first. (If it makes you feel better, I can pretend to be upset and get the leather belt to show my imouto wife commander what happens when she misses a stream)

Tyler

Far be it from me to speak for other people, but I think pretty much everyone can agree that if you aren't in the right headspace for it we would rather you make the decision to cancel. We don't want you to force yourself to do something you aren't in the mood to do just because you're worried we'll be disappointed. It would be selfish to demand that of you. I hope whatever's got you down passes by and your night gets better little homie.

Neat0 M0SQUIT0

Never feel pressured to do something commander if your not up for it. Things happen in life, we can't control, please take your time to recover, Glory to the Commander!

wav

you never have to feel bad for taking days off. do what's best for yourself. your wellbeing is important to us. we're here to support you. i hope you feel better.

Vaendryl

shit happens, but don't worry too much about us. I'm sure most of us here understand that forcing things isn't in anyone's best interest. hope you feel better soon! ♥

luis

I hope you feel a bit better at least now. This is part of being human, and I think most of us here will understand. Ignoring something that's on your mind and just changing your frame of mind just to stream must be something incredibly difficult to accomplish.

Space

sometimes life is just too much and i get it -_- we've said it many times before and its still true . you matter first . and if you're unwell and pushing yourself i'll just feel impressed at first at how far you're going for us and then feel bad because you've lost your voice for us :( oh and.. im a lil sad i don't have the asmr right now lol HOWEVER i get to be there ! AAAH im sorry for the others who won't make it but i can for once !!!! but again ....... if you don't feel up to it don't push yourself your needs are more important than our wants. love you miss Zenya