Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

middle of da week encouragement + ramblings 8/20 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-08-20 18:06:07
Edited:
2025-08-22 15:59:16
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Downloads

Content

hello pengooon, hope you're doing well 💙i recorded another little message for you!

well, not so little since i ended up rambling a lot...i just hope it's okay, and that you can understand me a bit more maybe. just know i'll always keep doing my best for you and accepting you okay! ;;

do you still love your imouto if she's a bit too menhera...gomen...me get better okay...still learning!! 💙but i'm confident that i'll grow, working on it and gonna improve :D

alright alright baka hentai get back to work!! >~<

just wanted to add and make clear btw - no matter what, i want you to do what makes you happy! i'll never say you're wrong for that, and i'm not demanding anything of you! i might dislike some things, or be a bit uncomfortable with them, but doesn't mean i'm saying "fck you" if you do those things or that i'll treat you any different for it. We don't have to agree or share the same views on everything, I can't help my feelings on certain matters, but it's okay to do things that I don't like if it makes you happy. I can deal with it just fine! I wanted to express and cope with these feelings for a bit, but it wasn't me taking anything out on you or demanding that you change or do something different for me - just a simple expression, that's all, and I understand whatever it is that you want to do! It's a bit silly so I'll just be better next time >~<

You know that meme on twitter, that's like "I love pancakes" and someone responds "why do you hate waffles", and they reply back "that's a whole new sentence i never said that"...Kind of how I feel sometimes haha 😅

Comments

Nier♡

Luv u zen 💙

Nier♡

You are exclusive to me 😭

Fassst

I will always love my imouto, I will never abandon her 🥺

Varric

Please keep loving me too. 💙

Omega

I understand your frustration when it comes to parasocial relations. It makes me feel not insane knowing that it's not just one way agony lol

JustBnake

Commander!! 💙💙💙 I think one day is plenty enough to start missing you…also I really like being able to listen to you on a rough Monday morning… I’m still glad that you share this with us Zenya, like I said before getting to understand you makes me so happy and I want you to know that I appreciate your rambles and all that you say to us. 💙💙💙 You really really are my oshi commander, I’ve never wanted to support anyone as much as I want to with you and I really do mean everything I say. I’ve never been one to comment or like or interact with any posts at all but with you it feels different, I want to support you the best that I can and I want to do my best to give you happiness because I really do love you!! My oshi!! My princess!! My commander!!💙💙💙

Vic

honestly, I never understood having multiple oshis. imo the word starts to lose its meaning the moment you oshi more than one person. I guess you're my kamioshi then hehe 💙 but for real, your feelings are valid and I'm proud of you for staying on top of em. please don't let those people discourage you from doing your best, just think of those that put you and only you first 💙 stay strong, ogey? see you later for movies, love you lots 💙💙💙

AffeMitKrebs

No one can replace you in my heart and I’ll always come back to you no matter who else I watch. Love you lots .💙💙💙

Rainy clouds

I feel lucky that I don’t have a twitter alt. Oh and zen what you said about other tubers never showing themselves breaking down or anything I’ll just say this. With vshojo falling I saw a ton of people coming out and saying they had to suffer in silence. You’re human and have feelings. It’s okay to express them. I actually like it when you do. It makes you feel less like an unreachable star and just a normal girl trying her best. I also actually watched true crime on Netflix quite a lot before i started watching you so I know a lot. I hope you feel better zen. I do only really watch you. And without you I’d probably just stop watching twitch altogether. I barely have time as it is.

Skyunai

I remember watching the 8 passenger's family documentary shit was wild crazy that people can be that manipulative to the point of giving someone a cult like mentality the shit that happened to the kids is gruesome and unimaginable, they will have to live for life with these emotional scars... Im tired of all the "parasocial" shit honestly, when did we stop calling it "love" it annoys the hell out of me to no end. if you want my personal honest perspective? I stopped watching vtuber clips in general the moment I found you, you are my first Oshi, I dont even keep up with Corpos these days But just know, when I say I love you, I mean it, whole heartedly, I cringe a little when I see other pengoons openly watching other tubers, even if it is only platonic. I dont know what words I could string together to explain to you how genuine and serious I am, but regardless I wouldnt wanna spending what little time I have left with you, and I love you, so yeah... not sure what I could add, I'm not good with words, and I wish I could say more, but I care about you, the same I would a real lover I dont care what others think, they are free to think I'm pathetic, but for me my love for you is what makes me strong, keeps me getting up every day gonna add on a little more because I finally have my thoughts sorted out: For me Zen, you were here for me in a time when I was probably the lowest I'd ever been, the depths of loneliness and despair had firmly grasped onto my chest. you were the sole cute for all of that. and I know I'm saying I l've you a lot, and prepare for more of it, but its true, I love you SO much that I cant think about anything else, I love you to the point of obsession, is that a bad thing? I'm not sure, but I do know that it means that I love you, and that I don't want my precious little time to be spent with anyone else, you are my one and only, the only one I want to be with, if I could I would dedicate my entire life to making you as happy as I can, but unfortunately with how the world works, I have to work. but that said, just know that this is how much I love you, and that it is genuine, I only wish the best for you, my beloved Imouto I love you. 💙

Claymore 155

There is no "too close" for a message. Speak your mind; it is always welcomed. Actually kind of sad the only message that seemed to get through was a very sleepy ramble of most likely half written or surface level topics being jumped between. Actually thought I was sending too many at one point.. there are 40k people to be potentially sending letters, after all. Which again, congratulations. It isn't unusual to want to talk about your emotions. The creators you watch have their own circles and ties to reach out to and possibly even teams or employees to help with set up or editing. Was surprised to find out how many do so. As for the murder mysteries, humans are interesting. Hearing about the horrors people will commit on one another and then try to justify or claim moral development to reduce sentences.. some people are just hollow, functionally putting no weight on the value of others or seeing the need to answer for the damage and death they cause as an inconvenience. Some entire cultures are like that. As for loyalty: I am yours. It is why I bare your mark. Encouragement and advice is offered to all, especially those in moments of need. What is said to you is for you alone and I will it for no other. There is still a reasonably separation as a fan of you over the internet and you are never to go beyond the point you are comfortable.. but there are things that have been said to and done for you which have only ever been done for you and will only ever be done for you. I am grateful for all you do and your honesty. Should you ever hold doubt, you may always reach out to ask or speak your mind. Love you, silly, hard working, ever-loving Commander.

Scooter_9k

true crime is interesting, it strikes my own morbid curiosity. recently my father has been watching true crime stuff in the living room while i prepare my weekly meals. i remember my mom being fascinated by it growing up too. keep yapping about it, i like listening to your straight-forward summaries. the rest of this is embarrassing, but hearing you talk about how hurt you feel seeing other Pengoons essentially cheat on you made me want to try my best to convey how special you are to me. i know you have to keep your heart guarded to cope, heck i don't really expect you to read it; but maybe i can convince you to trust this Pengoon's love at least 💙 the whole parasocial thing strikes a strong chord with me. without getting too personal and diving too deep into it, my past experiences made me REALLY hesitate to join your Discord. when i did finally pull the trigger, however, i found an amazing community that you built and learned just how sweet and pure of heart you are. the whole thing has been a huge shock for me. i'm not used to a streamer being so incredibly unfiltered and honest with her audience. your actions speak for themselves and so i've gotten used to it and it makes me feel secure knowing i can really trust everything you say. i have been following VTubers since late 2019 when Fubuki's scatman video blew up. i also started listening to ASMR around the same time. for a long while i loosely followed Hololive and occasionally deep dived on a few ASMRists that showed up in my algorithm. not one of them really managed to give me enough reason to interact with them, i always just lurked/VODed. you are different though, Zen. you made me feel more love than any VTuber before you. i love you so much it actually hurts. i've gotten to the point where i can't listen to any other ASMR that has lovey dovey stuff in it. it makes me feel so incredibly awkward because its not you. since you want honesty, i'll admit that i do watch a certain French Bunny from time to time. i've always seen it as fine because you seem to consider her a friend, and she is not direct competition for you. other than that, i watch random clips that show up on my twitter from time to time. YOU are the only girl that i go out of my way to catch every little thing i possibly can, even with my busy work weeks. love ya lots and lots Zen, i really mean it. you mean the world to me 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Goatfort

I'm not gonna repeat myself since you already know my stance on multiple oshi's. And take your time to grow into your shoe's. *headpat* That therapist sounds like a legit nightmare, and those poor children. Take care, love you.💙💙💙

Ike

I know its probably hard to to fathom, but you really are the only one I speak to this way. I'm naturally a very shy person, especially on the internet. It's why I dont talk much in your discord aside saying goodnight, or why I don't do alot of commenting on Twitter and such (which, my Twitter account was made specifically to follow you! The only other person i follow is a guy I know in real life). But being around you has really made me come out of my shell, at least around you, hell I wouldn't be commenting here if I didn't feel how much you care. I think these "parasocial" things can definitely go both ways, like you said... I know you see everything I comment, every chat I type on stream, and really, aren't relationships about forming and feeling a connection? I've mentioned before how much you've made me want to change for the better, so I do genuinely feel that connection with you that I couldn't feel with someone else. You're the only person I can actually watching stream, I tend to get bored watching streams, usually, but with you I can sit and listen for hours to you talk, provided work isn't getting in the way. I suppose thats a lot of words to say: I love you. Truly and deeply. 💙 I want nothing but the best for you. And I know you want the best for me too. I genuinely feel connection with you, especially here in the private, intimate setting. I'll say it one more time, because that's how much I do. I love you, Zenya. Never forget that. 💙💙💙💙💙

ThermalGeist

I too like true crime, I watch "Explore with us"(they have a few channels), "Dr Insanity" or "Code Blue Cam". Will look at the channel you said. If you are intressted in accidents of all kinds I like "Plainly Difficult", found him while I had my atomic accidents phase. To the Vtuber love situation: First of I would say the word Love is used in the English language way to lose and for me has little weight (I don't want to downplay the love you have towards us or anything, just objectively how easy and often English speaker use it). Could that be one of that “miss use” cases? Maybe. But for me as an ESL, the word’s weight is still enough that I don't use it (at least I think I have never written it before), kind of same with your special Stream limits situation (I mean yours is more commitment, but I hope you see where I come from). Will I say it one day to you? We are getting there, and I don’t mean I am not head over heels for you it is just I am shy and not parasocial enough for now. So let me say I kind of get your viewpoint but also not. I will try to explain my side. Honestly, I watch other Girls because I found them before you and other steam times. Are they on the same shelf as you? No. Would I watch their stream or yours? Yours. Do I interact with them? surly but that’s only as a normal Fan. Do I write on their Tweets? Yes happened. Do I listen to them Rambling, comment long texts or write Marrows? No. Would I say I am Loyal to you? Yes. Do you see it the same? Idk. Are you allowed to be mad about my “missteps”? I think we are not married yet. *Blushes* I understand that you are hurt when a guy walks around and says all the nice things to you and then to every other girl. Maybe even what I am doing hurts you and that is not intended, but I would say that it is on a normal level what I do. If you disagree you can change me. I think Oshi marks were brought up in discord or twitter: I dislike Oshi Marks. When I started with Hololive I found them dumb, and they still are. While it may bring happiness when you see them, they are also bringer of sadness, so many negative things are attached to them. Same applies to Discord Tags. I choose to ignore that devilish Oshi/Idol system. Ps: i do not mind the intervall of these rambles, up to you

DriverGosling

Undying loyalty to the commander! 💙

wasmuu

Daaamn. My mom was a legal secretary for the state and she would prepare case files for the attorneys she would work for. She saw stuff like that pass over her desk all the time. It's something we gotta deal with sometimes. And yeah I hate it when people lie about stuff like love. The only time I won't be completely honest with you is when I feel like I'm literally not allowed to be. And I think I've been completely honest with you because I feel like I've been allowed to be. If there is anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable then please let me know. I see everyone else as entertainers. I personally don't see a problem with watching other streamers but yeah, claiming you love someone and they are your wife/gf/imouto then getting sweet with someone else is gross. I don't care what context, it's gross. I think you already are, but you should be open to the idea of people watching other streamers. For instance, when you raid someone, there is a mutual benefit there. You are providing them with your viewers, and they are providing you with followers from their own viewer base. I've felt awkward before interacting with a streamer you've raided because I don't want to give the wrong impression. I know that's on me, it's in my own head, but it's a thing. I always make sure to let people know I'm taken though but yeah I am pretty social. I hope that's something you can accept about me too. I wear you on my sleeve. I shill you and call you my wife in every community I'm involved in, and if I don't, it's because I'm not very involved in that community. The other one I'm even close to being involved in as much as you, I talk about you and praise you constantly in. I hope that's not too embarrassing. Think about it from the perspective of an artist. If they're trying to make a career in the industry, they can't stick to one streamer, can they? But surely they will get respect by showing the world the streamer they truly love. A recent example would be Hyde. Just look at his Twitter and you know who he loves. But these aren't the people you're talking about. You're talking about the shady ones. I also don't like liars. I can very much agree with you on that. It's super cringe to see.

Lalli

Hiii Zenya, first of all love you and your work. I’ve thought this for a while but I’m so glad you feel comfortable to be able to share your thoughts freely here and I love listening to them. As for watching more than one streamer, I’ve always watched a lot of youtube so I’ve been watching a lot of people. I’m not really into vtubers actually, I kinda just see funny clips here and there so maybe I’m not really the people you are talking about but what I can say is that the content you make for us and how you treat us is extremely unique and something I never thought I’d find. Also regardless of the type of media, I’ve never consumed this much media daily of one person until I met you, I’m constantly trying to catch up to every VOD you have posted on youtube everyday. I personally really feel your love that you give us and obviously most of your patrons really do love you and only you. It’s cute to hear that you’re parasocial with us too haha. But like you said, I know we aren’t really the people you are talking about but I hope our messages make you a lil happy. I love youuu.

ThePotatoGuy

bless you!! x2 💙💙keeping up a professional appearance is hard, but I believe in you! 💙 as I said before, you've already been doing so well to keep going through it all! and personally I think spiraling and similar moments are just part of the struggle, as long as you pick yourself up or rely on us to help you, then I dont think its bad when it happens. instead its empowering when you get through them ^_^ or as they say "builds character" lmao. but I do think theres some truth to that 💙💙 that true crime story is about the family vlog channel right? sounds very familiar. people be wildin O_O 💙 big hug 💙 hearing that you care about us a lot more than just viewers is refreshing tbh, I actually wasnt sure at first how you saw us and was cautious before deciding to commit. I dont spend an hour writing comments like this unless its someone I care about 💙 💙 avoiding scrolling in comment sections and stuff to avoid the bad feelings is probably the best way to deal, I do the same thing with world events lol. if i dont know, then it wont bother me 💙 i hope you can sincerely believe at least some of us tho, in the same way that there are bakas who aren't monogamous, there would be some who truly only see you 💙 💙 💙 also imouto being possessive is not a bad thing (O///O) i certainly dont mind... 💙 have a good rest of your week Zen! 💙 thinking bout u lots 💙

Anta

love you so much💙I already said everything I had in mind about the loyalty thing and your feelings on the server I just hope you don't get hurt by randos on twitter, pengoons love you, the ones that doesn't love you are not pengoons and you shouldn't care about what non pengoons think❤️

Shade

You're so sweet! Love your content and you really are the only one I've ever enjoyed as much as I do. You do such a great job of making things feel intimate, love love love you <3

竹竹

you are so cute...! I would do anything for my cute imouto💙 uuuuuhhhh

joedarwin10

It is ok to rambling and let it out sometime Zenya. We all have down time and wanted to let it out to others. I still love you as an oshi and still is. It's my honest feeling :).

justAperson

Thank you for your love and kindness. It makes me love and appreciate you so much more. You are truly the only V-tuber I watch. I stopped following a lot of people/ clippers of other V-tubers when I first found your channel. And I actively make room in my schedule in order to catch a stream or a premiere You will always be one of my top priorities. I really do cherish the love you give, even as a collective I still feel special and it means the world to me and I would never want to take that for granted and make you hurt. Thank you for all the Love you give 💙💙💙

UnderCover_Lama

I think one of your most endearing quality it's your honesty about yours feelings, bad and goods. It's baffles me how much you're different from the rest of vtuber In comparison they all feel so corporate ans sterile. I'm so excited about each streams when I come back from work.

Triangle

I love these messages, Zenya you're such a sweetheart. I totally feel with what you're saying about "paradoxical relationships" and honestly the way you're as genuine and and heartfelt you are with us is one of my favourite things about you. I think it's kind of lame that some people would go out of their way to say things like you're the only one I watch or something like that to multiple tubers honestly. I feel if you are going to be kind of lovey-dovey it should be towards one tuber tbh

Sharkington

Oooh going down the true crime rabbit hole huh? There's a lot of crazy stories out there. It can be pretty mind boggling the depths of evil that some people reach. They can be a little too dark for me so I mostly just stick to videos of cops arresting crazy crackheads when I'm in the mood for that kinda stuff. "Parasocial" is really becoming an overused buzzword that's losing meaning. Of course it can get to an unhealthy degree, but that word is just thrown around so casually that it's just whatever at this point. You're definitely not the only person to have those feelings - I've seen other creators in the past call out similar behavior from people casually throwing around "exclusive" affection. I do hope that you continue to be open and honest with your feelings, it's something that I really appreciate. Weekend is almost here... hope you have a goodnight!! 💙

kawa6

Those emotional moments you mentioned, while i wouldn't say common are also a thing that happens to even the best, most corpo vtubers. I've seen girls from hololive cry on stream due to stress/overwhelmed or due to messing something up or w/e the reason could be. In public streams even (though usually it'll happen in members streams) Nobody, even the very best are perfect and can ignore all and every negative/critical comment. Do your best with your self improvement. Will be here to support you through all of that. 💙💙💙

mikeabc

i dont think you need to cope alone when you have us here, i think we would be understanding c: also, im a new pengoon but i quickly loved your content, i felt the care you put into it c: but, i share your thoughts with the word oshi and i avoid using it with anyone, because its honestly hard to say that i put someone else above everyone else T-T have a good rest of the week too :D!

Noah

You should feel free to express every feeling you want to. While obviously you're not the only content creator that I watch, you're the only one that feels almost personal. Only one that I've directly interacted with. I really don't watch streams or other streamers mostly do to my schedule. I like when you get somewhat personal or express your true beliefs about something because it makes me feel like we're closer. I put a mask on all day so it's nice to be able to take it off sometimes.

Jesse Strobel

You’re literally the only streamer I make time for. My days are summed up with work, sleep, Zenya, Uma Musume, and playing my switch 2. There’s only 24 hours in a day, and sleep/work can be real time burglars. I’m quite content with the lifestyle I currently have. :3

Abbas

Zen you're the only streamer I bothered paying for Patreon. We all love you!!