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Deep Fat Fried 3/10/26 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-11 03:58:51
Imported:
2026-10
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Content

IRANIAN SLEEPER CELLS? - TARANTINO LASHES OUT - MAMDANI ATTACKED - PAIN AT THE PUMP

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Comments

A W

Thanks Boss-men.

Keifer

Deepoofattoofryoo

james leazenby

Kill a hundred men they make you a knight. Kill a thousand and they’ll make you king.

Ben Howerton

Paul defending southerners and then immediately turning 180 and saying they conspired to kill their teacher is Signature Paul

james leazenby

When I was a teenager, at a friends friends house. They said don’t ask just help yourself to whatever you want. So I ate an orange. They kicked me out

Ciggy Tzardust

PAUL! Loved your reasoning on behalf of humanity and how our ancestors are capable of getting to this point without necessarily being ultra-exploitative of each other (basically the discussion around 2h 40m; may have started earlier). I feel I'm aware that Uruguay is one of those places that both you and I would totally move to (viva Pepe Mujica and capybaras!) to experience a saner lifestyle, perhaps, BUT, have you heard of what's going down in Bhutan? It's a Vajrayana (branch of of Mahayana) Buddhist democratic constitutional monarchy (that has provisions in its constitution to give the people the power to IMPEACH its monarch). I wanna open up that rabbit hole! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lc_dlVrg5M this video makes me want to move there in my latter years, ngl. 😂 A carbon NEGATIVE country that basically shows up every other country on the world stage!

Tay

The driver stopped across the street and looked at his dashboard clock, sighing as the smell of cooling fried chicken wafted towards him from the passenger seat and he knew he wouldn't make it back in time for his training session. George popped open the driver's side door and grabbed the Popeye's order, observing the skin flap on his arm as he did so. His initial feeling was revulsion, but he felt it ebb as he reminded him how hard he had worked to lose weight after his old man had had a heart attack at 48. George knew he was bound down that road if he didn't change his ways so he had worked hard and hired a personal trainer, an Asian woman with the biggest glutes he had ever guilty peaked at, and he had burned the fat off. He would be burning it off tonight but the idiot customer had gotten the directions wrong and wasted his time. Everything afterwards was a series of nonsensical instruction before getting the directions 'drive south and look for the circus tent'. Now he was here, looking at a circus tent made of rubbery material in the middle of a suburban neighbourhood, a pair of industrial grade generators powering two huge air conditioners next to it. The moment he broke the seal a horrible fetid smell reached his nostrils. "HURY! YURE LE'ING TH COAL ER OUT! CLOZ TH DAM DUR" he did as he was told and was envelopped by the smell. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw a shape like a giant greasy cloud in front of him. The thing was a naked ball of pale white flesh, it's only colour being a tinge of dirty yellow reminiscent of jaundice from all the grease that covered it. A proportionally tiny head bobbed side to side eagerly eyeing him as it's small hands beckoned him forwards. "Yur smallr thn in the picture. Bring me th chikin" George paused, feeling the revulsion which was all too natural when confronted with such monstrosities. Every part of his mind told him to run. He steeled himself. "Here you go Mr Kirk..." He stammered as he got close enough to the base of the mound to toss the chicken into its hands. He was turning to leave when the thing said "WAIT!". George turned around to see the arm reach into a fold and pull out a bill covered in grease "I've got a c note here for your trouble boy," the mound said. George hated to be called boy but a hundred dollars was a hundred dollars. He reached over the mound to try and get it but he couldn't quite reach. "Come closer" the mound said. George prepared himself mentally and leaned across the mound, putting one hand on the first moundlet as he placed his weight on one foot and stretched his arm as far as it would go. The mound was wet and greasy under his hand and keeping his balance was difficult. He couldn't quite reach the note. All of a sudden the mound dropped the bill and grabbed his outstretched arm. He was pulled across the surface of the mound, the grease of unnumbered meals lubricating his journey and coating his body. The mounds little head became uncomfortably large as he was pulled towards it. The creature eyed him greedily "you're not as big as you were in your pictures but you got some pickins on you still buoy." The jaw unhinged and opened wide, revealing a mouth of surprisingly well maintained and deadly teeth. George used his free hand to go for the creature's eyes, the creature roared in anger and dropped him. George attempted to get up and run across the mound but slipped all the way to the ground where his foot slammed against the metal base of the air conditioner, shattering the fragile bones. The monster continued to screech, George tried to get up and run but he fell over in pain and let loose his own scream. He got on his hands a good leg and tripod hobbled to the edge of tent dragging his broken foot behind him. He was going to make, he didn't care if he limped after this, just so long as he made it out of that tent. As he pulled open the flap he felt a terrible crunch as something hard slammed into his nose. He fell backward towards the monstrosity and saw it was a woman standing in the entranceway of the tent who had kicked him back in. "I'm sorry, but my TJ just gets so hungry. Don't take this personally." For one thousandth of a second George asked himself "what crazy white people shit have I gotten myself into?" The moment ended as he felt the earth under him rumble. He turned his head and saw the mound shifting, rolls of fat cascaded over each other like sand dunes as TJ shifted from a reclining position to one leaning forwards. The arms and too-big head were getting closer and closer as the air filled with the stench from the effort it took the hommemont to move. "IM UNGRY! IM UNGRY AND I'M TIRED OF WAITING!" The arms grabbed George's broken foot and pain shot up his leg "IT'S TIME TO EEEEEEEEEEEEEET"

Brad The Patreorn

Not reading all of that. Sorry that happened or congrats

Tay

I thank you for your sentiments.