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5000 Patron Goal (Patreon)

Published:
2019-05-17 02:33:30
Imported:
2026-06

Content

It won't be long before your favorite pessimists hit 5000 patrons! In the meantime Tomatino's we wanted to hear what you'd like to see for the 5000 goal. Please comment below and like any suggestions you see! 


Begrudgingly,


The Pessimists

Comments

Peyton Bidwell

Theme Park Meetup in Orlando at Disney World or Universal Studios.

Bryce

48 hour show

Lord of Duck

Cool as ice cinema for cynics

Oliver Edward Morgan

How about a yearly 24 hour show while its over 5k? That'd be amazing.

Nicholas Montano

Another long as show cause thems the best! Or make Paul watch Manos the hands of fate.

Abby Danger

I would be up for another 24 hour show.

Rob

Meetup at Universal Studios

Josh Hayden

The return of movie reviews

Bryce

You guys can do coke to stay awake

Jazmin Magdaleno

I like it when you guys talk about news articles.

Dennis

Drunk episodes are always fun

DonnySlime

Bananagate part 2: the banana boogaloo

Xenos Nassar

Wow, you guys are making a decent amount of change now. Just keep up the quality, you pricks. Don't take our sheckles for granted.

MrFings

Maybe another 24 hour show, or a 36 if you want to push it. I guess another 24 hour may seem repetitive

Treaded Water

For you guys to take some time off. One, maybe even two weeks. In my opinion you guys are the best entertainers on the internet today and you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labors. Go on vacation somewhere new and relaxing and come back ready to rain equal parts misery, laughter and outrage on the rest of us.

kiefsaurus

Rank all past DFF episodes? Fuck. It is so awesome to see you guys smash this goal in a year. Tomatina since day one and I don't see it changing <3 congratulations, you guys.

Marc Geener

Uwe Boll restaurant meetup

Bouszer

A real show on Brett Keane and all the shenanigans he's been up to. One last strike on the belly of the Manatee. I know it probably annoying that people ask all the time. I just had to ask for the nostalgia.

Yellow Curdled Ropes

12 hour show? That's probably too small of a suggestion though.

MinimusDongus

LUCY EPISODE, not sure on what don’t care. It’ll be great. Hell do it on lucy, you could even cover the Salem witch trials which may have been caused by ergot, the fungus lucy is made from. I THINK!

Dan Childers

Or challenge a conservative to debate on the show.

Nipples Peelov

Have they done one on fetishes yet? Also I'm partial to the 48 hr show and the topless show

Hypnotic Visionaire

Taking a Break would be a good idea, but if you are going to do something, I would say rent a studio and create a one of a kind show that lasts for 6 hours where the audience is able to join in for sections. I think that would make everybody happy

Anonymous

Bring the Wheel of Misfortune concept to DFF. Ask the hosts questions that they have stated the answers to in previous episodes (things like "What year was Tim Allen born?") and subject them to things on the wheel for every answer they fuck up.

Kiet N.

DFF special on a certain indivijul.

GC1931

Another 24 hour show

Chris Sliwinski

An episode on Tabletop RPG games in general. Or another one on D&D but about the different editions, modules, game stories, etc. Basically D&D as its played episode.

Hyperblob

A fetish show would be interested

106

Do a block of cinema for cynics where you review three movies you actually like.

David

DFF = DP

danielg603

I would like to see guests. Same format just maybe people who are knowledgeable about different subjects or just interested in them. You guys have always been great with guests and I think it will enhance the show. Guests on Fridays would also help to build the Patreon

Captain Teebs

I may have been high at the time but I seem to remember Paul saying he would wrestle an Aligator. I would very much like to see that! And don't just dress TJ up as an aligator, if i squint real hard I'd probably be able to tell.

ICTOAN

Do an episode on something while on acid like the one on that obscure right-wing podcast.

Nikolas Q.

Kyle Kulinski on a political topic or Flash Fried

Followz Trouble

Episode suggestions: Julius Caesar John Lennon The Console Wars Psychedelics Movie review suggestion: Theodore Rex with Whoopi Goldberg. Holy fuck that movie is so bad.

GodsButtMonkey

Since you guys have already done D&D and seem to like it....how about try another pen and paper RPG like Shadowrun or Vampire the Masquerade.

Aaron Primack

Political shit, but extra long. The Flash Frieds are my favorite video categories.

Aaron
>>22795482

A guest here and there would really spice things up. Heck, someone to join them for Flash Fried would be nice as well on occasion.

Adam M Gash

I think having a bantersode on politics with Kyle Kulinski would be amazing. I'm sure Paul and him would get into some great arguments.

Adam M Gash

John Lennon would be great too though

Anonymous

it would be so awesome if kyle would be available to come on. if not an episode on fetishes/bdsm does sound pretty cool and would probably be a treat for tj

Chris X

Storytime- tell classic, never heard before tales from your lives

Anonymous

I like the really long shows. so maybe something akin to that

JMan

DFF Jesse Lee Peterson!!!

SuperDarthKelly

How about a double feature cinema for cynics?

Anonymous

DFF=childhood inspirations.

Wjyndigo

DFF= Glenn Beck PLEASE!

Venny

It's time... the 48 hour show. AND PLAY SOME MORTAL KOMBAT SO PAUL CAN GET SALTY

Anonymous

A meet up in Colorado would be cool. Get you some of that legal weed.

Mr Canister

More on Chauncey, the best DFF member.

Jonathan M

Meetup in New York City or Philadelphia!

Jonathan M

Get Joe Rogan for an interview or guest episode!

MrFings
>>22795247

I don't think they're going to choose the one that's most popular, they're just looking for ideas

Justin Bulkley

Additional movie review every month.

MoppyPuppy

A DFF where TJ, Paul and Scotty present the topic each as a different caricature of a fat person. Fat voice, fat mannerisms, fat personalities and every few minutes the presentation devolves into talk about fattening comfort foods.

Brian Palmer

Make Paul shave half his beard.

dethkyle

48 hour show or try Vampire the Masquerade. It's like D&D but with a better rule system centered around solving things however you want. So it's got far better rules for doing thing outside of combat than D&D. That makes it a way better system for narrative driven campaigns.

Ryan Gondek

Aleister Crowley = DFF TJ does the episode as Skeletor.

Nicholas
>>22796512

that'd be a good one, i'd also like to see them try out call of cthulhu

Ryan Gondek

Putin and/or Russia = DFF TJ does episode as Kovar.

Ryan Gondek

An episode of Redneck History or Rednecks = DFF.

Gamesick2077

Dff=Islam Vs christianity Vs Judaism

Ryan Gondek

Random Political Topic = DFF TJ goes as Lance Sloane.

sajon

I like the history and biography episodes, so just pick something interesting

Helly Selznick

A Fantastic Bowl Of Chili = DFF (cheese optional)

justin Brown

How about we get a few chapters of a book a month, narrated by Paul and TJ. Dune?

justin Brown

Or more go to the movies and give us reviews.

Pengmaeda

Make Commentaries on all the movies on your top ten Worst Movies list. Not including Gods Not Dead, since of course you already did a commentary on that one.

David
>>22796299

I'd like to add, more relevant movie commentaries. Like, the stuff they pick is so obscure, it doesn't hold my attention. The Anaconda one, as an example was good, because I feel like most of the audience had seen at at least once in their life.

nihilgeist

DFF = Mass Shootings

Clint

DFF=Canada

Neebsz

48 hour show

Fred Funkledunk

DFF = Social Media. The history of the most prolific platforms used today, who’s in charge of their operations, and how society uses & is affected by a certain app/media.

Daniel Melle

History of 4chan, or trolls in general

Daniel Melle

Maybe make a list of cinema for cynics and let us vote on the movie

SomeGuy

Maybe get some notable guests on like, Hugo & Jake, Logiked, ShoeonHead, Creationist Cat, Kyle Kulinski, Contra Points etc. Do DFF's in relation to what there known for online. DFF=YouTubers in other words

Wesohlee

Maybe an extra cinemaforcynics movie and a dank dungeons and drunken dragons episode. DFF: Circuses.

Connor

Meet-Up in Detroit! lol

Moony Reel

Upload orgy to pornhub

thomas behrens

Why not do a long show on musicians choose your favriot groups as well as some clasicd like ozzy nirvana Manson maby older and give us some of the more interesting history of whay made some of their greatest tracks so great

Eric Stuart

Meet up in Florida so you can meet some Florida men/women

Pagedleader

Road trip to Colorado and get high from some legal shrooms

Rinpoo

A movie marathon for Cynics V.S. Cinema. (8, 12, or 24 hours.)

William

DFF= Cringy fans

ScottS

I want to see Scotty, Paul and TJ sing an entire episode of DFF, I don't care what subject is, but it has to be a musical number.

Palanama

Rybi rides a sybian while Brett pinches her nipples

Canadian Attack Moose

3d model video of Blovius and instagrammia, voice acted by TJ and Paul. You know you waaaaant it ;)

Thomas Levy

Scotty's colonoscopy video.

Jay Devons

The long promised mythological 72 hour show XD

Fred Funkledunk

DFF = History of Social Credit / China/US Govt Surveillance. The introduction of AI and voice/body recognition with camera scans and listening devices into household/personal technology would be an interesting topic, and how it’s used.

SpectralDecay
>>22798598

As an addendum, if it could be as good to the marathon lost to time that would certainly be worth it.

The Shaky Surgeon

Would love to see you guys take a trip to a foreign country and film your shenanigans. If that's not viable, perhaps bring TJ to a gun range and film his reactions to firing some firearms for the first time. If NEITHER of those are do-able, then maybe at least a long ass movie marathon would be decent.

PizzaOverlord97

A 24 hour show incorporating all Pessimist Productions properties.

Daghlas Al-Ashqar

THE RV TRIP AROUND AMERICA YOU FUCKING SCAMMERS!

Mofojinkins

A DFF on the history of each pessimist, researched and presented by another pessimist. Ex: Paul = DFF, presented by Scotty.

Anonymous

Weird Fetishes = DFF

Paweł Pawlak

I think that on this special ocassion we deserve a Stevie episode. BTW new Rammstein album is out and its pretty dope. Did Stevie wrote any of the songs?

Tito Manfredo

DFF Whitewater Rafting Livestream!

Qartheros

TJ, Scotty & Paul = DFF (but presented by the wives and girlfriends)

Siq Nox

More history shows in general -- especially those that we don't give much thought to, but somehow are quite interesting once you research it. Like a random president, and their accomplishments. The Black Death was a great show.

JJ321

Top 10 worst Everything ever.

JJ321

Endgame review.

Anonymous

Do a call-in show segment. Let patrons call in and talk/harass you/prank you.

Anonymous
>>22800430

skype or discord of could be used for this. Make strict rules like 60 seconds and the line is cut. Make a game of it

Aldo Hernandez

TJ & Paul doing a Banana Sex Tape

Austin Joiner

Seems like an extended show is popular, so why not an extended show that includes many of these other suggestions, win win

Mexican Zoidburg

Don't care about the topic, I just want to see Kyle Kulinski as a guest. I think it's about time that DFF had its first guest, and why not somebody as beloved by the DFF fans as Kyle

Ferdia

@Qartheros was correct! "TJ, Scotty & Paul = DFF (but presented by the wives and girlfriends)"

Max Schwalen
>>22801183

I dont think dff needs “guests”, its not dp and it wouldn’t really fit the show.. its not like an interview podcast, its a topic podcast. Only way it would make sense is if they had an expert on whatever topic they are doing the show about on as a guest.

Kristofer Foster

I dunno what you could do really, feasibly, but yeah a cool guest would be nice. but I think you can work something out that will be cool. not sure they'd be up to it, but I bet a wives/girlfriends episode would be really cool too. can't wait to see what you come up with!

Max Schwalen

or i bet people would fucking love it if you guys did a dff on dp even though you guys surely wont want to lol. DP= DFF

AkiK

Roy Cohn vs. Roger Stone or Gore Vidal vs. Bill Buckley

John Morris

DFF= Oakland Raiders vs. New Orleans Saints

Memoria

DFF = the ocean or DFF = Space something big! maybe an extended show?

TeaAndBiscuits

DFF with a guest, why not it would be fun.

Sir Drinkalot

Personally I’d suggest using the money to buy books etc. with even better information than before, and closer to the source. Since you’ve already upgradee the studio, not much is left to be done there. If perhaps an expert would be willing to be featured for modest but sufficient payment, maybe invest in that. The entertainment quality of the show is always outstanding, but if the informative aspect could be even further improved, that would truly be fulfilling.

PETER

A 2 day DFF event. Where we the audience get to have a day where we can ask questions and play Dank Dungeons and Drunken Dragons. Make it a weekend event.

Matt Schilling

5000 patron goal: send me all they money you make for every patron over 5000 per month

ez

DFF game of thrones

Nick

Have an actual guest on, someone smart and scientific

Anonymous

DFF with a guest would be pretty awesome!

Berzerk

Drunken Peasants = DFF

Anonymous

48 hour show with guests. Including DFF = weed. DFF = George Carlin. DFF = (insert awesome band here)

Alex Pulham

Stevie vs Paul naked mud fight to the death.

Cody Cropley

the life and works of Edgar Allan Poe

James Chambers

More awful presidents or Scotty’s bullshit episode

Anonymous

I’d say bring a guest on

Amerikan Wolf

top 10 real life animals that will probably kill you one day

WC

Another Christmas-style DFF episode.

Alex Meandzija

yall should play a game of risk until everyone hates themselves

Jonathan King

Special Guest Episode, Celebration/Gloating Episode, and/or new Meetup

Sex Wizard

do an episode on Mortal Kombat

Josh Jerome
>>22808471

On second thought that's not really goal-worthy, but you should do it anyway, that dude is a treasure trove of lunacy

Anonymous

Do an episode about warhammer 40k

SarahJRandomNumbers

THE SHAVING OF PAULSEGO! Basically, we shave him totally clean of hair, from top to bottom, and you do it live, only cutting away for the more "delicate bits" that are youtube unfriendly, and then you can auction the bag of his hair to a charity of your choosing. It'll be Youtube gold, and you know it!

Joshmyninja

Double commentary or d&d part 2

yanba

idk do like a 12 hour show

MLGBernieSanders

Get a guest on, someone who is funny/ chill to talk to. You guys can also do a film commentary with a guest (but idk who would want to watch a shitty movie for 2-4 hours)

Talisen Amell

Cinema for Cynics of the single worst movies u could think of and I mean a few of them

Jeremy Geller

Diff=YouTube (looking at origin prominent early internet youtubers and the culture, going into the addpocalypse and it’s modern look)

Anonymous

David Lynch cinema for cynics marathon

Anonymous

Shave both Beards and Hair.

Noah

DRUGS = DEEP FAT FRIED

Anonymous

Who knows. Bonus episodes i guess

Wyndham Bostian

Nothing too big, just like an interview with Donald Trump or something.

Rasmus

DFF Prison

Jacob Caine

you cunts need to deep fat fry those fuckers in that shitty Drunken Piss-ants show anyone whos ever been involved in that shit is a fucking joke

Gilly

PRISON = DEEP FAT FRIED please

Anonymous

An episode of Al Capone, or any other big gangsters, like Bugsy Siegel. The man who created Las Vegas. But also a crime spree throughout United States. Or John Dillinger, Billy the Kid, or Bonnie and Clyde.

Daniel Savage

A biographical episode on all three hosts would be fun

DB

The Stevie episode

Neil Fowlie

4500 patron goal.....................The Pimpmunk episode

Aleks G.

A genocide in a hard-to-pronounce country

PaLeBlUeDoT

Most embarrassing secrets revealed!! Like how The Howard Stern show did it when they moved to Sirius.

Danny Jones

I'd love to see you cover an entire Netflix documentary on something like The staircase murders OR Making a Murderer and have your entire input, thought process etc throughout.

Canadian Attack Moose

Not gonna lie as much as I want a prison system DFF, you guys have already talked a tonne about it in various other episodes and back in the DP days. Maybe Lovecraft, or perhaps Psychology.

Adrian Voss

DFF = Unsolved Mysteries/ Cold Cases - missing people, unresolved murders, things like that - I adore true crime and id like to hear your opinions cold cases like Amy Lynn Bradley, Adam Blair, Johnathan Luna, or perhaps other chilling crimes yet to see an answer.

Anonymous

DFF=ALCOHOL you guys could get drunk and talk about booze and its history

Joseph Hollenkamp

A gameshow sorta thing like the wheel of torture back from DP would be fun.

Anonymous

DFF= Drugs, Che Guevara, Illuminati, George Carlin

Anonymous

DFF ft. Kyle Kulinski

Todd Newton

Do a whole month of DFF episodes as suggested by a pool of 8-9 patrons (each with their own suggestion). Put all suggestions (one per patron) into a hat or bowl and draw a suggestion out of it at the end of each episode for the next one.

Puguin

Dff= black market cigarettes

Toshiyatsu

DFF Hunter S. Thompson

dean

36 hour show

Złosiej Stępień

Just giving a random topic for 5k patrons is lazy and lame idea. Ban those plebs!

Złosiej Stępień

For 5k patrons, they should do Stevie (or whatever its spelled) episode, where they talk about his BS and roast him, while he's there.

Dennis

Do something on Bank Robberies

HiRoAZ

I want Stevie for every Flash Fried and more DD&DD

Joe Rader

More DS9 reviewing!!

Guthrie Stafford

DFF: The War on Drugs. Make it really long and take a lot of drugs.

Lloyd Llewellyn

I have an idea. The roast of Stevie. Basically Stevie comes on the show and you shit on him for an hour until he has a rebuttal

defialpro

I'd like to see you guys play mk11 and maybe some other games.

defialpro

Lol a 24 hour game stream of attempting dark souls with the whole crew. If you die, you switch to someone else. The salt would be unbelievable. Stevie can only be there for moral support lol

Jeffrey Searcy

DFF One Belt One Road ( if you need a quick primer, check out China Uncensored on Youtube).

Craig Ryan

New studio, which we were originally promised with 4000 level goal.

Ben Livingston

DFF = Alex Jones 2 : Turning the frogs gay

BIG BOY AYOO

travel to info wars headquarters

PaLeBlUeDoT

Take Stevie to the bunny ranch.

Jack of Tears

How about doing a show on Arnold Schwarzenegger? The clips of him being a bamf while being attacked in public made me want to see more on the man.

EL MARIACHI

Wheel of Misfortune 2 : Electric Boogaloo