every ending is a beginning (Patreon)

hi, you wonderful bean <3

I hope this message finds you well, and if not, that's okay too, thank you for being honest with yourself. 

I also want to send my biggest thank you for your patience during the grieving times after having lost Pebbles. It's been hard to stay consistent with putting out content during this, but relieving to keep my mind busy with the things I managed to keep up with.

I will certainly make it up to you for the two missed posts, so thank you for sticking with me.

Something has shifted in me, maybe it's from connecting to the familiar deep sadness that always welcomed me home like an old friend. I've found myself on the piano, every day, lately. It's like I realised I could just walk around the wall that stood in the way between me and music, instead of trying so desperately to climb over it. 

I even listen to music differently, I hear it in a way that I used to, reaching a very core part of me.The closet I used to store Pebbles hay in has been cleaned out and turned into a singing booth. Perhaps I can show you a picture later of this *very* fancy setup, which actually works surprisingly well. I've got my old desk in Pebbles room so if I simply pull the cables from the closet to the desk, I can quickly start recording on my laptop. 

This little audio clip above, is from when I tried out the booth (closet) for the first time. I'm sharing it because someone named Junimo was very concerned why I was singing so sadly in this newly decorated closet. It makes me laugh just how sweet these little guys are. (Kovu was sitting on the blanket at the floor of the booth during this too). We've taken turns to comfort each other through the sadness and in fact, as I'm typing this, I have them both by my side. 

The mind can be quite cruel at times, but I like to make the effort to slow down to attempt to observe what is actually true, what I'd like to believe and where I place my gratitude.

And I hold so much gratitude to you. For believing in me, for standing by my side and for sharing this journey with me. Not just the journey of coming back to music to then venture into this whole new adventure within music. But on a deeper, more personal level, I thank you for being with me in the ups and downs that comes with being a human. These ups and downs I know you experience too. 

Thank you for embracing my honesty and truth, and for listening to me when I share it. I really don't take that for granted.

As I begin to share more of my music going forward, I'll be making myself more vulnerable, something I've been trying to avoid, and I'm grateful to have you with me through this. 

Thank you 🤍~ Joy