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Dear Diary: Pages 3-4 (Patreon)

Published:
2024-11-28 12:31:21
Imported:
2026-06
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Peer pressure am I right :( Also David being annoying, as per!

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Comments

Sadie Rue

baby nick let me hug u 🥺

abbie

baby nick nelson i love you already

Elfi

🥺

Synz

not me crying

Shin__

David 🤬

Daniel

baby nick is actually too cute

Carina

Ugh, David 🙄

a

omg he’s so cute

Chloe ♡

the ‘my best friend is probably’ scored out broke me 💔☹️

gabs

the scratched out "my best friend is probably" just broke my heart in a 1000 pieces

Caitlin

David absolutely the type of brother to make sure his lil bro is walking 10 steps behind him on the way to school

Anne-Louise Fortune

Oh Nick! Can we get the duvet of hugging for Nick, please?

RadiatingRedstone .

"Sometimes I laugh along even when I know I shouldn't" damn that's relatable as hell

Katie H

"I don't really have a best friend" - oh my heart 🥹😭

Ems

:(

Jomaries Amezaga

I want to squeeze Nick’s cheeks!! 🤏🏼🤏🏼🤏🏼

Merel

The scratched out 'My best friend is probably' 😭

Juliette

Ah. So David was always a horrible brother I see.

Kirsten H

Oh the scratch out. Nick, you sweet boy. 💜💜💜

Gray

David Nelson biting the curb in 4K pls

springy

i don’t care what age nick nelson is, we need to wrap him in warm blankets and protect him from all evil in the world

elisa

the way we all gonna love nick even deeper after those pages 🥹 my poor baby boy ❤️

Kat

Hard relate to the older sibling bullying. I really appreciate you exploring that. ♥️

Barb

Sometimes I laugh along even when I know I shouldn't... the naked truth in life😭

Koko

My brother was the same when he was 16. Guess little siblings are always embarrassing

BrittaHP

I love how you made him cross out that sentence :) :)

Eileen Mullan

Oh I just want to hug him! And freaking David UGH. I don’t want to hug him… lol

Lissie

Oh Nick 🥹

Leonie

oh i wish little nick could see him now surrounded by HIS people who love him sm 🥺

Krystyn

Not an easy time for Nick 🥹 I love that it looks like a journal, off white paper and lines.

ÁineBCM

I was wondering if David went to Truham. Cool to have that confirmed.

aaronhotchnerswhore

I'm just gonna casually teleport behind Nick and give him the hug he needs 🥺

Victoria Panaro

Poor Nick 😭😭 and now I get why he is the way he is. I'm loving this mini comic... But today's pages definitely broke me 🥺💔

KathrynHarrop90

Don't worry Nick! One day you're gonna meet your soulmate and be so happy 😊

lexi

alice i LOVE how you 12 year old journal-ified your art style without just making it look bad or juvenile. the blue fountain pen detail is 🙏

ella

and now he’s got a whole group of friends who understand him😭

tess ^_^

laughing along even though you know you shouldn’t just to not isolate yourself… oh i’m getting flashbacks to first year of high school for sure

Kate ✨

baby nick :(((((

Justin S.

“Eww, David” but l love little Nick

Ania W.

As usual, I'm impressed by the details. Poor Nick, after thinking about it, decides that he doesn't have the best friend after all 💔David has many years of experience in being insufferable 🤬

ally

oh how i just want to give baby nick a hug :((

Elena

😥😥

Merel

Poor Nick... He knows it isn't right but he also doesn't want to stand out or become a target by speaking up. Even not laughing along can risk your friendships at that age. I wonder if he's already somewhat aware of his sexuality at this point? Or at least, the fact that he's different from his friends. I can imagine that makes him even more hesitant to behave in a way that wouldn't be easily accepted by his friend group.

EllieRLM

EEEEWWWW DAVID ! EEEEEEEEEWWWWW !

Shirtael Cohen

I wish I could hug Nick he deserves the world !!

ChristinaP

.. “my best friend is” hmm oh - i have no one?! there are lots of friends, but it's all superficial, you're just trying to fit in. several years would pass. but "now" fortunately he has real friends besides Charlie he can confide in ♥️

Sandra Day

Oh Alice! You know how to hit us right in the feels!!! We have all been there - laughing at an unfunny joke at school and feeling uncomfortable. 💜🩷💜🩷💙💙🩵🩵

emily

oh nick :(

Elena

Oh it hurts so much to read this 😥 And what a prick of a brother! 😠

Paola✨

Oh my baby Nick, I want to hug you so much!!! :( you have always had a good and noble heart 🥺

Klara Dalgren

I've never loved a character more than Nick Nelson ❤️

Maisie

Oh Nick honey :(( I just want to hop into the page and tell him that everything is gonna be okay in the end 🫶🏻 Side note: Alice I am LOVING this journal drawing style so much. It fits it so well!!

Amber

Alice, odd question. In s3 episode 4, when Nick and Charlie were journaling, were Kit and Joe writing in the journals themselves in their own handwriting? I was always curious about that. ❤️

Nyssa Rawther 🍉

Poor Nick. He needed a Charlie to build up his confidence around his mates and a Tori to kick David in the balls. I'm so glad he got that just 4 years later 🥺🥺

eva cuervo

Reading this I wish Nick and Charlie had met sooner. So Nick would have a best friend. 😞

Dave

Poor Nick 😢 loving the mini comic though, you can really see how Nick ended up losing sight of who he was in order to fit in. The mask that he ends up wearing to hide who he is. Feel this really links to him still not being able to open up to Charlie about everything in volume 6

Audrina

Why did it never cross my mind that David was at Truham before uni omfg 😭

Nicky Van den Bosch

Ugh 16yo david is such a prick to! What a suprise! Makes me soo sad though that even then, Nick didn't have a close realtionship with his brother

Elena Squeglia

I love heartstopper and your comics, Alice. The details are simply beautiful such as the sentence at the beginning of the second page. I love these additional details❤️

Chris

I really like this style !

Elena
>>156662661

S1 E5 "I wish I had met you, when I was younger. I wish I had known then, what I know now" Nick Nelson 😥

Carly Louise

These pages look so good! Aww Nicky. We're really getting a sense of his loneliness despite being surrounded by people ❤️‍🩹

eva cuervo

Honestly, I don't know what I would do if my relationship with my sister had been like that. She is my best friend. Sisters by nature, friends by choice.

Blissnfaith

Just reread the last mini comic, A Very Special Day, to remind myself that Nick is gonna be okay. ❤️‍🩹

Kit

The parralell between him here realising I don't have a best friend to him telling Tara at Harry's party "yeah Charlie is my best friend" and I know this was intentional Alice and I love you for it 😭

Sandrine

This is so heartbreaking … I feel so sad for young Nick.

Irem7

Omg i hate David so much, i hope he will grow

NellieSayzBork

"My best friend is probably..." struck through... oh my baby Nicholas 💔

Elena

And then I remind me that, in the end, everthing's fine. ❤️‍🩹 And there is Charlie now and he has made some more real friends. ❤️

Jonathan Payne

Oh, Nick! You have more than just absent father and terrible brother issues. I didn’t put two-and-two together that Nick would be struggling this young with something he isn’t really aware of yet.🥺Oh, Alice, you’ve made us all love him so much all over again. 🩷💜🩷💜

Noemiette

I love getting inside his head like that. It's a great format for a mini comic. Seeing all the seeds of issues that will fully come out later. Even though he had quite a lot of people around him, he was a lonely kid and to hide how disconnected he was from his group of friends he just went along with the flow even when inside he didnt really want to. Yes he has an amazing mom, but even with a relationship like they have you dont want to tell everything to your parents. And to know this continued for him for like 4 more years 😔

Crow_pose24

Oh Nick😭 He gained so much with Charlie, a loving boyfriend and a group of supportive friends. And he always has super Sarah, the queen mum. David is an idiot, always will be, probably, people never change.

Flavia Morlacci ☾𖤓

Nick looks so sweet 💕"i don't really have one best friend" hurts so much 🥺 why is David so mean with Nick? i really want to know and the " fuck off don't talk to me at school" was it really necessary? 😭

Brittany Cournoyer

Ohh this definitely gives more insight into Nick now 😭

Elfi

I feel like it's just the right timing for this mini comic, it fits so well at this point of the story. And I just love how all these little details always make so much sense and leading to an even better understanding of the characters. It all makes perfect sense and feels so real. ❤️

Sandra Rose

Oh Nick Nelson I love you so 💕

dominique

“I don’t really have one best friend” went straight to my heart 🥺☹️ I feel so so identified with him

Ashley Robinson

Hope he saved this for his therapy sessions. My heart is breaking for him and all the boys in real life like him. ❤️‍🩹

Ashley Robinson

Nick these experiences can help with that essay my guy.

a book dragon

The heavily crossed out "My best friend probably is" might be the most heartbreaking part of this page. Unthinkingly adding the word 'probably' (that alone is so desperately sad - most people wouldn't need to qualify that sentence!) and then coming to the realization he doesn't have one. Omg 💔

Claire

Oh -- my reaction is just 😢 😢😢 -- poor young Nick. In my mind I am hoping that when he gets into the rugby that will help and bring him some joy. Then we see David -- the **** -- I was one trying to extend him some grace because with their Dad he has been through a lot too. It is hard to do that seeing this though. The saddest part (and so well presented in the comic) is the scribbled out lines and then he has written he does not have one best friend. Speaking as a teacher, when this diary homework is handed in I would be saying both how great it was and being clear that I was always there if he needed a chat. Or if he ever needed a quiet word said in the ear of some of his mates on how they are treating others - let me know (and it would not have come from him). It really seems like once he finds rugby - knows how good he is at it -- and how much he enjoys it -- that will be the saving grace of the next few school years for him. I hope that.

a book dragon

Page 4 is so frustrating! Sarah Nelson is such an amazing mum and every person / parent has flaws, but her handling of the David/Nick dynamic is so negligent throughout the series (and is insightful challenging, realistic storytelling as much as we'd love for Queen Sarah to be the perfect mum!). In one page she yells at both boys indiscriminately without pausing to recognize that David is AGAIN bullying Nick, and then again to rely on him to give Nick his share of the allowance. Ugh. I have to believe she wouldn't parent that way of she wasn't wearing rose-coloured glasses about David. It's inspiring to experience so much intensity in just a few hand drawn panels!

Ellen🌈✨

as this is homework, is this the version that the teacher will read?! somehow makes it even more heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹

S S

Aww poor tiny Nick :(

Desiree M.

These are heartbreaking 💔

Nicki

I know everyone hates David. There’s no doubt that he’s a dick. But I can still imagine that so much of that stems from the childhood trauma of abandonment. He “protects” himself by not being vulnerable. I’d be curious to know what he was like as a child before his father left.

Caro

oh my heart

Ada Suzany

I loved how you are drawing this!

Ada Suzany

Thanks Alice, have a nice day

ucfnurse

I really do feel for Nick!!!😯🫢🤞❤️💖🫂🫶🏻🌺🌼☔️🏫✌️🕊️☮️

Katya818
>>156664083

Necessary? No...but unfortunately it's a common dynamic, particularly because of the 4 year age gap and the trauma from their father (both in his presence and his absence).

Katya818

I see so much of myself in Nick. I'm happy that he will eventually be happy and know himself (and that it won't take him until he's in his 30s to do so!)

Lolli98
>>156662700

It must have been such a relief for Nick, when he moved away. And now he's back! 😭

Lolli98

David's "Don't talk to me at school" is giving me Ben vibes...😡 Two assholes, probably for a reason, but still assholes.

Beam Bugge

yikes, david, that's a literal child... also is that a smol harry in the dressing room? either way that kid seems annoying 🙄

Beam Bugge
>>156668944

wait you're right "why are you talking to me i don't know who you are" ugh they both need to eat a lego

aliceoseman
>>156669373

Not Harry, just an annoying kid, but I'm sure Harry was saying similar stuff at that age 😓

Beam Bugge

hey Alice! idk if this is the right place to ask, but: I may or may not be writing an exam paper on one of your books, and I'd love to be able to cite your Tumblr or something similar as a source for my paper! I have a question I'd like to ask you, but I see your askbox is closed - is there any other way I can ask you? No stress if not, I know you're very busy :)

aliceoseman
>>156670094

Can I ask what part of my Tumblr you'd be citing? Is it a particular post? I'm sure it's fine, just wanted to check exactly what would be quoted!

Marine 🍂

Why does David has to be so mean ? And still is... Fortunately Nick has the best mum ever !!!

Clemence

That "My best friend is probably" breaks my heart, poor baby ❤️‍🩹

ACxo

“He is definitely Not my best friend” shattered my heart

Samantha White
>>156665951

I kind of assumed the written words were his diary entry and the illustrations were like flashes in his mind of what he's thinking when he wrote the sentences.

Ania W.

I think this mini-comic is absolutely brilliant, especially in the context of what happens in volume 6. I admire Alice for being able to create one really coherent story over the years and through many means of expression (comics, novellas, novels). Not many authors manage to do this! Looking at twelve-year-old Nick, I see a sensitive and intelligent boy who doesn't really have anyone close to whom he can open up (except Sarah, of course). No wonder he finds it difficult to leave Charlie and go to university. With Charlie, he gained love, understanding, support and a group of friends he can count on. If only twelve-year-old Nick knew how his life would change over time....

Raeee✨

Oh, so David’s always been an a$$hole! Noted.

KatieS

Alice, It is Thanksgiving here in the USA. Just wanted to say I am thankful for you! ❤️ 🍂

DogBefriender22
>>156662538

Same ❤️ Didn’t think it was possible to love or relate to Nick Nelson any more than I do… but these pages… oh my. My heart…

Katrina

Screw David he’s always been an asshole. The crossed out my best friend is probably is breaking me because he realizes he doesn’t have one oh baby Nick let me hug you and tell you that it will be okay in the end. Laughing along when you know you shouldn’t is so real because you just wanna be accepted. Alice I love the notebook style it is so realistic. This explains a lot of his issues later on. This also explains why Charlie is like his best friend when he talks to Tara at Harry’s birthday party because he can be himself around him and he’s a genuine kind person. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Ariel

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the US!! Alice - thanks for these beautiful pages, captures Nick's background perfectly I think, esp in the context of Vol. 6 so far! I'm so so thankful for you Alice! You've truly changed my life🍂💕

Tanya
>>156667074

As a David apologist, I agree! I mean he was standing at the door alone on Christmas looking out into the rain waiting for his father, who doesn't even know where he currently lives, to arrive. 😟

CinD

Don’t worry Nick you will have a best friend that will treat you right in the future and just so happens that he will be the love of your life also 🥹

Loveislove
>>156665686

I wonder how much rugby was really his choice or if he was following along with something he thought would impress his father.

Lolli98
>>156672684

You are absolutely right. I wouldn't want to leave Charlie either, if I were Nick.

Claire
>>156665686

You might well be right. I just hope he really did (does) love rugby -- so that it could be a thing that did bring him fulfillment and joy in all the long years between starting at starting at secondary school and meeting Charlie.

Lei Anne Cometa

Nick saying to Charlie, “I wish I’ve met you when I was younger.” hits different now. 😭

Murgy

Ah, Nick is already feeling the pressure to fit in :(

Lolli98
>>156680253

That's exactly what I just thought! When I heard this line from Nick for the very first time I found it a little ridiculos tbh. Because 16 is still VERY young. But now I see that he had been feeling like this for at least 4 years...which feels like a lifetime at that age.

Julie

You did a great job with Nick's "ha ha" -- I don't know how, but it's so obvious that he doesn't mean it.

Lodge

oh poor baby Year 7 Nick! I hope his teacher helps him out when she reads this.

Brittney

Low-key I am loving this, it's kind of giving me back to when Nick and Charlie talked in Volume 5 before Nick and the girls went on the road trip for universities, how Nick woke up and he realised so many things so this is kind of more of an insider to that conversation

Anna Deligio

I hadn't thought about how Nick would have been in school with David and how hard that would have been. Adds to how he chose and stayed with his friend group with their similar tendencies as David. This is such a nice compliment to the story and understanding the characters even better. ❤️

David C Witkin
>>156672684

But what torture it would have been to tell 12 year old Nick that he'd have to wait 4 more years of this torture to find someone he can finally relate to and relax and be himself around. 4 years is a life sentence when you are 12.

David C Witkin

I can't imagine the daily torture of having a friend group of hostile Neanderthals, an absent father, and a brother who blames you for his troubles and uses you for a punching bag (and a sympathetic mother who is too stressed and overworked to notice the full extent of it). As popular and well-liked as Nick becomes, there are parts of that daily existence that must have been truly awful.

Jordan

Nick has always had the same face when he’s pretending everything is ok 🥺 so sad but also amazing artistic detail to see the continuity. It’s the same laugh from the Halloween party and other scenes this volume

Ania W.
>>156672684

I wouldn't think of it as torture but as hope for better times. Hope gives people wings ❤️

RyGy

Ohhhh this is giving me ideas for my fanfic Alice. I love this! Will you do a mini comic for Charlie too?!?

Katrina
>>156680824

This right here it’s so obvious he’s just forcing it it’s that repressing that he has talked about 😭😞

Julie
>>156680253

It really does. I always took that to mean he wished he had been there for Charlie when Charlie was going through stuff, but now I think he meant this. Or both.

Loveislove

I think having superficial friendships at this age is not unusual. I think Charlie had met Tao but Aled and Elle came a few years later. It can take awhile to know ourselves and meet who we want to be with. Nick is doing a great job at a young age - so much change in a short time with positivity. The family schism though 😔. Lacking a father relationship, facing an ongoing hostile and bullying situation with his brother - his mother seems perhaps overwhelmed, busy with work/life, maybe not understanding the extent of David's anger and it's effect on Nick. Nick has developed coping strategies and patterns of behaviour that are breaking down. But just like Nick's love and attention put a spotlight on Charlie's challenges - looks like Charlie's love and attention will do the same for Nick.

Glenn

David is such a jerk. I wish i knew what caused his animus towards Nick. Being bi was the least of it. It seems to have been going on a lot longer. I wish David gets therapy. If they could eventually mend their rift it would be good not just for the two of them but their entire family.

Kayleigh Clarke

Awww little Nick is so adorable. He’s such a pure soul ❤️

Beam Bugge
>>156671841

tori: my best friend is probably my brother, sad lol nick: my best friend is definitely NOT my brother!!

Beam Bugge
>>156670094

thanks for answering :) I haven't entirely decided yet - if you know there is anything you'd like NOT to be cited, please let me know!

Beam Bugge
>>156668944

stepping on a lego is not painful enough, you get over it in a few hours at most eating a lego on the other hand? not only is there a big chance you choke on it during the process, it will also be inside you and mess up your digestive system for at least a few days (idk i'm not a doctor so i might be wrong)

Neenie
>>156662309

I think he is still comp het and doesn’t understand—it’s only later that he realizes the crushes he had had

Neenie

Celebrating US Thanksgiving with some family trauma, classic

Isak

Are we supposed to think that Nick is drawing these pictures in his diary or is it more of a we get to see his memories as he writes them sort of deal?

Xalek

Baby Nicky is the cutest!! He was so fated for Char.

Lauri

I’m okey 😐… no I’m not … 😔🥺

Lauri

I love Nick so much, I don't think I've ever felt so identified with a character in my life, I love him deeply and I feel like I want to protect him like I would’ve liked someone to protect me at that age.

Kat

Omg David is just awful. I think he took out all his frustrations about their absent dad on Nick… it’s not Nick’s fault!! 😔

Beam Bugge
>>156671841

you know, younger nick and younger tori have a lot in common actually... having a group of "fun and cheerful" friends they don't really fit into, feeling a bit lonely but not wanting to admit it... good thing they both eventually find a (boy)friend they can actually be themselves around :')

RCM

Nick at the bottom of both of these pages is breaking my heart...as he tries to fit in and mostly feels like he does, but carries an uncertainty and a something doesn't feel right feeling (similarly to the ones we still see him struggling with even now) just under the surface ("sometimes I laugh even when I know I shouldn't..."). Nick is such a GOOD 12 year old kiddo with an incredibly empathetic soft spot for others, but is living in the shadows of a big group of guy friends (as a lot of us did at this age), and looking around, gauging his reactions off of the other boys, thinks he IS doing mostly fine, relatively But, oof, his veiled self protection against the reality of loneliness even here as he scratches out 'My best friend is probably', and changes to 'I don't really have ONE best friend,' implying to himself and his Diary that it's too hard for him to narrow down to one🥺 hurts so much. And, to have an older brother who is taking the asshole , very broken, self protective stance of "I'm going to hurt you before you can hurt me because Dad is....Dad is unpredictable and inconsistent in his love and attachment and I don't know how to deal so I'm going to hate everyone because I hate him (but I don't really) but I do hate this rejection, so get the fuck away from me, little brother, YOU being the one person I CAN control...." leaving Nick isolated, again, not seen, not heard, and not valued as an individual even by his sibling💔 I suspect at this point in his life, Nick only feels like his real self, out of the shadows, when he is alone with Sarah, making tea in the kitchen, where she reflects warmth and love on him, and he can be the sweet, sensitive, gentle soul he is. (and as we know later, FINALLY, with his best friend/boyfriend Charlie Spring who is like literal sunshine on earth that empowers Nick to REALLY step of out the shadows, awakening those deepest parts of him, encouraging him to bloom and grow and finally feel really, really alive and seen and valued...)...but right now, in his 12 year old group observer, fitting in, not practiced at recognizing or voicing his opinion yet, he is doing the best he can and my heart aches for him. He's fine, but he's also not fine, and we're seeing that kind of emotional suppression adds up over time... I knew this comic was going to break me...

Maia

Alice, what is it like writing in others’ hands for the journal entries?

Loveislove
>>156709180

Sweet Jesus! So well said - I was hoping to handle Nick's story a little better in the past but nope - in pieces - the picture you paint 😭. When we get back to our current storyline, I hope Charlie is able to understand Nick's overreaction about his lunch with a deeper insight. I think conflict between the two while Nick is struggling would be tough to take right now.

Zachary White

Laugh when I know I shouldn’t 😭💔

JP42
>>156709180

Love your trauma responsive take on David’s nonsense

Fran

Omg David was awful since day 1

Cliff
>>156692969

I think David is misdirecting his anger about the breakup of his parents at Nick.

Glenn
>>156692969

You're probably right. I'm from a broken family and it puts a strain on everyone. People react to this situations in different ways.

Dionne Lakey

These panels make me realise how much Nick must have respected Tao when he first met him in the show. He saw what a good friend he was to Charlie, not afraid to stand up for him and be honest about his feelings. He's only ever seen superficial friendship before that and people laughing along to fit in. Tao is the first person he's met who really doesn't care about that; his friendships and loyalty are his priority, not fitting in. So even though Tao is antagonistic towards Nick, Nick never takes it personally. He knows that it's probably worth it to earn Tao's trust. He must think Charlie is so lucky to have such genuine friends. This is also why I also love that Tara chose to be Nick's friend. Besides Charlie, she's a person who is genuine and has real conversations with him.

Scott Whittall

Shades of my youth as a 12 yo gay boy in the football (American) locker room. Some things have not changed and do not differ from country to country. We are simply not at a stage of maturity at 12 to understand how we handle peer pressure and the beginnings of bullying. Same goes for our homelife when our older siblings bully us directly. I too had a brother four years older who had no patience or time or me. Poor Nick, could not escape the ugliness of bullying either at home or school. Subconsciously, this little lad has been repressing his true self for a very long time.

rickettyuncles

Ooh I never even thought about David and Nick at school together 🥺

Vicky Wattam

I’m absolutely loving this so far