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Dear Diary: Pages 5-6 (Patreon)

Published:
2024-11-29 14:05:57
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Please don't share these pages outside of Patreon! Thank you!

At least there's always dog snuggles 🥺

I'm going to upload the last three pages (7, 8, and 9) tomorrow!

Files

Previews only

Comments

emily

NELLIEEEE

Carina

Oh he’s gonna make me cry 😢

Merel

Nick and Nellie 🥹

Caleb

JUMPED on the notification :)

Chloe ♡

nellie will always be nicks best friend 🥺💕

Brittney

Ahhh I can't! And aww Nick 🤧

Sarah Jacobs

🫠😭🥰 Nellie!!! Little Nellie cuddles are so adorable 🥰

Nick Chee

Nellie!!! ❤️

Dionne Lakey

Seriously, what would we do without dogs

Faye

Nick and Nellie I can’t 😭

tess ^_^

BABY NELLIE :(((((

Daniel

sarah nelson knew it from the beginning

emily

baby nick and nellie 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Charlie

Dog snuggles are the best when you’re feeling down. 🥰🥰🐶🐶🥰🥰

Eileen Mullan

Precious Nick 🥰 and NELLIE ❤️❤️❤️

Annika D.

Everyone needs a Nellie in their lives ❤️

Chloe ♡

nellie was the first member of the nick nelson defence squad

Caro

we gonna see any glimpse of nick seeing charlie for the first time at the school? like that draw from the q&a on tumblr? and gosh, i love little nick and i want protect him from the evil of this world

a

alice stop it rn this is beautiful 🥹

qwerty

Wait does this mean Nellie is 14 in the Christmas comic from a few years ago

Chris

Nellie is Nicks first true love ❤️

Victoria Panaro

Me realising that Nellie is 11 years old (at present time in the comic)🥹😲🥰🫠 Poor Nick 😞 he's so honest about his feelings in this piece of homework 😭🙏🏼

Merel

I totally get it, Nick. The people you hang out with at school aren't the same as real friends you'd want to hang out with outside of school as well. I'm glad he now has Charlie and his friends who he feels safe inviting at his home and doing fun things with, but I really feel for 12yo Nick here...

Xalek

Not getting over baby Nicky at all. And it's sad to think how he'll spend the next 4 years with people he mostly doesn't like but there's light at the end of that going by the name Charlie.

Desi23

Oh Nick, he couldn't find his place with his friends 😢

Nyssa Rawther 🍉

LOOK AT NELLIE!!!!! I find it so sad that Nick clearly struggled so much feeling so isolated in his friends group for YEARS until Charlie came and brought with him a whole ragtag group of queers to love and adore Nick just as he is. I'm so happy for him where he is now and thrilled that Narlie will settle into their own skins as individuals and as a couple forever. I feel terrible for how lonely Nick must have felt at this age though. So glad he's got Mum and Nellie to cuddle with in the meantime.

lexi

a 12 year old openly admitting he likes spending time with his mum? nick nelson you are so special😭

Elena

Ohh little Nick cuddling little Nellie 🥹🥹❤️❤️ Fortunately Nellie and Nicks mum were there for him! ❤️‍🩹

Merel

Is this the first confirmation of how old Nick was when he got Nellie? I know we have that drawing and I always assumed Nick was about six there, but I was never completely sure.

Laura

Poor Nicky! I feel that. I felt alone during school too. I had friends but most of the times I found them overwhelming. I didn’t understand it then and thought I was the problem. Only to realise that I have ADHD and Autism. So it was not my fault. I just needed to find people who understand me. I have those people now. And I’m glad Nick found them too. Tbh I cried at most of the friendship scenes in season 3 because I was sad that I didn’t find this kind of friendship in my school time.

Katy

Nick's experience is so deeply relatable, especially at that age. Being part of a group but not feeling seen, just ghosting through. It makes sense why meeting Charlie was so profound for him. He not only found Charlie, but himself, too❤️

hwalker

No wonder Sarah said that Charlie was different from other friends in that Nick seemed more himself around him. I mean, I understood that his friend group in year 11 was bad (but Sai, Christian and Otis were more chill), but this adds a whole new level 💔. At least he had a supportive family ❤️‍🩹

Rottie_Lover

Oh my God Alice did you get a hold of my childhood journal? I think I see were this going. Love ya.

Katie H

Nellie cuddles are the best cuddles. I'm so glad that Nick has found a best friend and boyfriend in Charlie, and all of the Paris squad too; friends he can be really be himself with, but I really feel sad for younger Nick 🥹❤️

ver.ma.c

Oh no baby 🥺 you'll find real friends soon

witchspring

I swear these days have been a struggle not to cry in public with these updates 🥹🥲 thanks for that Alice 🫶🏼

Michael Boehnlein (Bane-line)

it makes me cry just knowing how much nick needed charlie to come into his life! no wonder he’s struggling so much with his identity! i can’t wait to meet the nick he becomes when he truly finds out who he is. 💛 love this little run so far, alice

Kayleigh Clarke

Little Nick seems so lost 🥺 his mum was right; he’s much more himself around Charlie! It’s a shame they didn’t meet earlier. This is adorable.

gabs

gosh this hurts my heart but i love it so much, i see myself in nick in so many ways but especially this! it's really nice to see it in a character

Merel

We learn at the start of Heartstopper that Nick never really invites his friends to his house. Even Imogen had never met Nellie before. Nick begins to realise here that the boys he hangs out with at school are maybe not the same as actual friends. Or does he believe that's what friendship is supposed to be like? (Sad but relatable 🥲) I wish I could hug him and tell him that one day he'll have real friends that he wants to spend time with and talk to and just be around. But this Nick will have to wait a few more years to discover that... It will be okay, Nick ❤️

ACxo

Aww Dogs are the best of friends we all need sometimes 💕

Sof

it’s so sad that he didn’t really have anyone to confide in besides his mom. glad he had her and nellie but he probably felt lonely 😢 « i don’t know who i am without him » makes even more sense.

Leira Torreblanca pineda

So hurt to see than Nick used to feels so lonely even with tons of "friends"

witchspring

nick and nellie 🥹🥹

Brittany Cournoyer

His life really did change for the better when he met Charlie. He found his best friend, and a whole group of people where he felt he could be himself.

OSM

oh poor Nicky, I'm so happy he found his person and friends he could be himself around

Justin S.

I always go back to what Nick tells Charlie ... that before he came out as bi, it was like he (Nick) was masking a lot of himself and personality. I so relate to that. So, here's an example of younger Nick deep in that uncomfortable phase. I feel for him and know that brighter days are ahead!

Robby C

This mini-comic is feeding my soul! Thank you Alice 🥰

ama

thinking of vol1/s1 nick, like 3 years after this diary entry, and not much has changed. he still doesnt really have a best friend before he meets charlie, but he always has nellie. nick's "charlie is probably my best friend" in 1x03 makes me wanna cry after this mini comic, he finally found a best friend :(

toneelspeler

so interesting to see how even at a pretty early age nick is pretty reflective of his situation! i guarantee you that twelve year old boys nowadays writing about their friends probably wouldn't be as in depth about their current situation with friendships and that must also make nick stand out amongst them. there's a certain emotional awareness and maturity in him at such a young age. must be hard to connect with others who aren't on that level yet.

Phil Mercer

I'm not just glad Nick found Charlie, I'm glad he found the entire Paris Squad because oh my god 😭

Lilly Mae

Oh how I relate to this. As someone who’s always been the “after thought” friend or hasn’t felt like they truly have a best friend, this hits. Poor little Nick. But look at him now! I think this is a perfect example of “it gets better”. 💛🤎

Elena Squeglia

Alice you can't do this to me!! 🥹This is the most beautiful page!! Seeing Nick as a child hugging Nellie as a child is the most beautiful and cute thing ever. I'm in tears🥹🫶❤️ Also I can relate to Nick because it also happened to me that sometimes my mom asked me if I wanted to go out with my friends (or rather those I thought were my friends) but I always said no

Blissnfaith

Nellie’s cute little paws in the bottom panel of page 5 are precious 🥰

Ashley Robinson

Alice these few pages are showing rather than telling us why Nick is struggling so much right now and has been for a while. Thank you. It is truly a gift. ❤️

Clemence

I didn’t think I could love Nick even more.

RyGy

And eventually Charlie snuggles 🥰 hang in there Nicky

Claudine

As a mother, I have to think of Sarah. One of the things you want for your child is to have a friend, or friends and it's heartbreaking when you realize your child doesn't really have that. I'm reminded of the last episode of season 1 when Nick comes home from the beach. You can see that Sarah is so happy for Nick that he has found someone (and also because she probably has her suspicions about what is going on between Nick and Charlie 😆).

Claire

Such beautiful drawings on these pages -- love them. 😍 I love the view of the living room -- then zoomed in on Nick and Nellie. It's just wonderful -- and the view from above of the two of them. Could we love Nellie Nelson more? No, not possible. And yes, she is a lovely best friend. So much lovely sweetness and yet sadness on the same pages. 😍🥹 Loving this mini comic.

fotosinteza

😍😍 Nick and Nellie! Melts my heart ❤️❤️

Allison Drevich

This is hitting so hard because of the political situation in America. Poor sweet Nick ends up masking and confused, but his annoying friends end up homophobic, dangerous men. I am on a rampage about this these days. I have two little boys and I don't want this for them.

Beam Bugge

nellie always makes a comic much better I love her

springy

it hurts my heart to see how lonely nick was/is, when compared to the comics he’s seen to be this composed teenage boy, when he’s just human 🥺

Ellen🌈✨

it’s always under appreciated how much Charlie helps Nick, maybe because Charlie needed immediate help and it’s more obvious how Nick has supported Charlie. but with Nick’s story, it is much more subtle and overtime. this mini comic really highlights the journey he has been on, showing that this have been most of Nick’s teenage life. which is sad, and highly relatable to me! Charlie helps Nick drop his cover, make genuine friendships, and i’m glad we get a glimpse into where it began for Nick, and hopefully, people will start celebrating what Charlie has done for Nick Alice, a continued masterclass in storytelling 👏💐🎉

Loveislove
>>156756873

He has always been such an honest person - I really admire that about him.

Lydia

12 year old nick and his patterned socks 🥹 i love that that hasn’t changed as he’s gotten older

Vadant18

🥺😞 poor sweet Nick

Victoria Panaro
>>156756873

Same. He's always so mature for his age .. I have some students with similar personality and they tend to consider themselves as "an old man person in the body of a teenager" 🤭🥰

Nikki

Ngl 12yo Nick is exactly the kind of friend I would have loved to have at school

Robert

Nick's friends haven't changed much.

Ai Bui

I don’t know why but this mini comic made me think of the awed look Nick had when he recognized Elle at the bowling venue for Charlie’s birthday. That must have been one of the more impactful but understated moments in Nick’s arc. Oh, to see someone defying so many imposed “norms” and choosing to be unapologetically themself, even when it’s hard — and to see that choice being celebrated by their true found family.

Robert
>>156759692

I agree Ellen. I have watched HS (all 3) so many times but the more I watch it, Charlie becomes a much stronger character and more so after his road to recovery. I like how in S3E7 before the first sex scene, Charlie tells Nick to shut up quite forcefully.

Robert
>>156759623

This is an example when someone has friends who really aren't friends.

Flavia Morlacci ☾𖤓

aww, Nellie is the best dog in the world. she remind me of my dog, I was 3 when my dad got her. Her name was Kelly. When I meet her, she was just a black ball of fur. Unfortunately she passed away on 2018, I was so sad, I couldn't believe that. I spent the best years of my life with her on my side, so I get why Nick is close to Nellie. ❤️

Robert
>>156759170

Sarah says in the book that she suspected something because of how much Nick cared for Charlie.

Brittney Tarr
>>156759692

Yes! This! And I don’t think it’s out of nowhere either. It was really telling early on when Sarah said that Nick is himself with Charlie and how Charlie is different from Nick’s other friends. They both helped save each other. It’s just a lot more “loud” how Nick helped Charlie. But also I think because of Nick’s physicality it’s also easy for people to dismiss the ways Nick really needed Charlie to be strong.

Robert

I can honestly say I have never in the whole of my 70+ years, had a best friend. I have had quite a lot of friends but not a bestie. Perhaps that is a reflection on me!!

Prinsassy

I'm so glad he found Charlie ❤️ or more, they found each other ♥️

Brittney Tarr
>>156758212

In my experience with middle schoolers, boys included, many of them do have this ability to be reflective, they just have such insane peer pressure and societal expectations that the desire to fit in supersedes all else.

E

Nellie is so cute in this style! ❤️ (Well, she always is ofc!)

Brittney Tarr
>>156758094

And now that Nick is having to think about college no wonder he’s starting to spiral 🫂😭

Nathaly

So sweet 🥰🥹

Nicole

Nellie!!!! 🥰😍💔

James
>>156760510

Sai, Christian and Otis are definitely on a journey. Nick's been a good influence on them and so has Sahar, I think.

lilb0bette

OH NO wonder sarah said Nick is finally himself around Charlie 🥺🥺 we need young Nick on telly 🤭

Maia

I want to give Nick a hug because I understand him so much

Lisa

Nellie snuggles make everything better 🤎🤍

Scott Whittall

We have the luxury of hindsight here. If we were just meeting 12 yo Nick, his lackadaisical demeanor would be chalked up to just being 12. But, this Nick Nelson is not your average 12yo boy. The Nick we know now is wise beyond his age. It does not surprise that, even though this 12yo Nick would not have a clue for a couple more years, he is already sensing his inner voice screaming that the world can be very different than what he is accepting now. Nick Nelson is a gentle loving, caring soul and now we know he always has been. ❤️

Nicky Van den Bosch

12yo Nick snuggeling nellie is all I needed today 🥰 soo sweet! I want a dog tooo 🥹

Lolli98

I'm reading this from two perpectives: me as a 12 year old (or teenager) who didn't always have a great time finding friends, but even much more as a mum right now, because of my own 12 year old son. I think we might have to get a dog...

Lolli98

I love that Nick says, he likes to hang out with his mum.🙂❤

Robert
>>156760510

I agree but not until after Nick and Harry's fight. That seemed to change them.

CinD

No wonder Sarah thinks Charlie is a literal angel 😭 he made her baby boy so happy!

Katrina

Oh Nick let me hug you. I am so happy he at least has Nellie as his best friend because she is so adorable and awesome and dog cuddles are amazing and my dogs are my best friends too as well as my cat and I’m also glad he has his mom too because she’s amazing. I relate to this. I have had friends that aren’t really my friends. I wish I could tell him that in a few years that will change and he will meet people that he likes being around and that he does find himself. It makes sense why Sarah adores Charlie because he allows Nick to be happier and be himself. It’s like she said he seems more like himself when he’s around Charlie.

Ariel

Nellie cuddles solve everything❤️😭🐶 These pages are so cute

Kate ✨

i’m in tear baby nick is too pure for this world 🥺🩵

RCM

Dogs like Nellie are the BEST kind of friend...they pay close attention and pick up on all the tiny nuances within your feelings, they unconditionally love you and are so happy to see you, their love language is physical touch, they SEE you and VALUE you just exactly as you are, and they are ALWAYS there to support and settle you, no matter how loud or silent your mood is. I love how Nellie and Nick are snuggled up on the couch with no blanket cocoon needed because just holding Nellie helps the rest of the world dissolve, as Alice captured in the bottom close up of Nick and Nellie simply sleeping and just being while the rest of room (and world and problems of throwing food and ridiculing others) melts away as a calm safety settles in (just exactly as Nick feels every time he is with Charlie!!)...and I love how both Nellie AND Sarah know and love Nick so well that they give him what HE needs here. Nellie remains steadfast in her spot, eyes closed even as Sarah approaches, doing her job to let Nick RECHARGE, and help Nick to feel, well, like Nick, with his calm and loving and gentle soul quieting for a bit...and Sarah, always observing and never overly pushy, comes in, and softly checks in with a "What's up, Nicky" rather than a "how are YOU" (which can be a very direct question with an understood expectation for an answer), but, we see another early sign of Nick's tendency to immediately deflect to a "nothing" (aka I'm fine...👀). I love how Sarah reaches out to TOUCH him (his love language), rubbing his shoulder, as she offers encouraging (but still unsolicited) suggestions, sensing SOMETHING is indeed UP...(maybe she is hoping if he keeps putting himself out there, he WILL meet a friend who is less annoying, less toxic masculine leaning, more willing to read her sensitive son and see and love him for all he is...but I'd also love a much needed "tell more more, Nicky" moment here). I can't help but note how much it must exhaust Nick to do something like go with these friends to say, the cinema...he likely senses, but cannot put into words even to himself, this sensation of mental fatigue, that "something isn't right" feeling that he still represses even today...that is why this story line is SO important to tell. It's showing Nick's slowly building side of mental health issues that is so easily overlooked and dismissed by friends/family (Nick is great! He's rugby captain, he has an amazing boyfriend, he is always good because he always seems to make do and have it together!) AND, even by the very person struggling who cannot make sense of the unsettling anxiety that lives just below his surface, and you have been able to push it down or shake it off but now it's starting to pull you under too (i'm looking at you, Nick Nelson...).Thank goodness for dogs, mums, and beautiful sunshiney partners/friends like Charlie Spring who pay attention and lean in...Nick needs a LEAN IN...

Carlie Hunt

This mini comic is everything nick in general has my heart but baby nick is just so precious. All I wanna do is hug and protect him from the world! ❤️

EC

This makes me so grateful for when Sai, Christian, and Otis grew up a bit and were supportive of Nick. But also I understand even more now how hard it was for Nick to trust them or to even open up to them. They really needed to be the ones to go to Nick and apologize about Harry and to acknowledge his relationship with Charlie and I’m so grateful they did. Oh the feels!

RyGy

Alice pleaseeeee tell us you’re doing one of these for Charlie?!?

Claudine

I'm glad Nick has Nellie. Dogs are very intuitive and can sense human behavior and emotions (I think we've all heard Nellie's growling at David). Nellie knows exactly what Nick needs.

ucfnurse

It is wonderful to have a dog to hug and talk to!!☺️😊🙌💞💖🐶🌞🌻🫂🌟🦮🐕✌️🕊️☮️

Loveislove

I think a lot of us are relating so hard to this. Loneliness is tough - maybe especially in a crowd. What I admire about Nick is that he did not put up walls to keep people out which was my default. He may not have chosen close friendships with school acquaintances but he was immediately open and vulnerable with Charlie. He also extended that willingly to Tara, Tao etc. He is braver than he gives himself credit for. But coming from a broken family, perhaps his self confidence, sense of self worth is fragile. I can't wait for one Charlie Spring to truth bomb his partner about how important he is...and keep repeating it until he believes it 😉

Shay Martinez

Why is is that all I can think about is the Nick has had Nellie since he was 6 and he's now 17-18 and Nellie is an older lady and I'm so anxious something is going to happen to her?. 🫣😭

Tina

BABY NELLIE

David C Witkin

Imagine already being exhausted with your friends at the age of 12 and having no hope of change for at least the next 4 years! What a miracle that Nick did not shut down emotionally, but instead remained open to other people and willing to engage. How fortunate that he was able to spot the goodness in Charlie and open up to him right away! And thank Heavens for Nellie! And Nick's Mom!

Antje Mertz
>>156757590

Your "one day he'll have real friends that he wants to hang out with" reminds me of what Charlie tells Tori at the New Years Party. Same thing, really. Do Nick and Tori maybe have more in common than we (or at least I) thought? 🤔

Merel
>>156757590

Wow I hadn't even considered that but maybe I was unintentionally quoting him! That's really interesting to think about.

Rita Zaumseil

So now I have to rewatch und reread heartstopper right from the beginning and it will break and heal my Heart more than ever now that I know about this mini comic! Thanks 😭

Adele0x

i actually love floofy hair baby nick

Glenn
>>156774253

I had the same thought. I thought this might have been the time he got Nellie. Now I'm also concerned. Didn't Alice say that chapter 6 was going to have a bitter sweet ending?

zara ahmed !!

feeling the strong urge to wrap little nick up in a blanket and give him some hot chocolate 😭

Loveislove
>>156774253

Well - there is a mini comic Alice did where Nick talks about getting a Nellie tattoo when she dies and he has a beard. I'd say she is safe for now.

Cody

Oh Nick ❤️

Siero

oh baby nicky itll be alright

Neenie
>>156774253

I keep reading fanfiction where Nellie dies and I get so emotional

Neenie

Nellie is his best friend!

Olav Gehle
>>156774253

I did some research how old a border collie like Nellie can get, so it’s up to 15 years… so they still have some time.

aurelia

Right!!! he did told charie (during harry's birthday) that he never really have his friends round his home and end up playing mariokart with his mother 🥺

Antje Mertz

The more I think about it the more I enjoy getting this insight into Nick's mind. It adds context not only to vol. 6 but also the series overall, especially season 1. Sarah telling Nick how he's more himself around Charlie is so much more impactful to me now. I can't wait for everyone to read this, not just the Patreons. 😍

Vicky Wattam

This is so cute but such an interesting insight to Nick’s feelings

Daniel O'Neal

I didn’t realize Nellie was already 11 years old. 😟

Murgy

Everyone needs an emotional support Nellie, particularly when things are confusing in life

PupFenrir
>>156774002

The loneliness even when your in a crowd, especially if they are people you know is part of being on the autistic spectrum. I feel this all the time, always have for decades. It's really hard and rough to work through too. I have been trying for the past 2 years and still can't work through it, even at the age of 54. It's one of the reasons I find it hard going to the bars (which I haven't been to in over 5 years) or gay pride, which was really rough last summer, I couldn't go this year, my social anxiety was really bad this past year. I am on my 6 medication to help with things like anxiety, depression, ADHD and OCD, so far nothing is working. My Veteran case manager deals with the same things plus PTSD and they are on their 12th med. Therapy can be very triggering. I'm also working with my psychiatrist to get a PSD (psychiatric service dog) or ESA.

PupFenrir
>>156763161

I would so do that, it would be perfect. My friend's son is on the autistic spectrum and she was able to get a PSD (psychiatric service dog) and it has changed his life for the better