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Page 1800 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-04-29 21:49:58
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

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Baby Nick! (I imagine he's around 7 or 8 here)

Files

Previews only

Comments

tess ^_^

THE ELECTION OF 1800

Chloe ♡

little nick gonna make me cry at 11pm

Lisoodle

ALICE OSEMAN IM SOBBING AT WORK THIS IS UNFAIR

10sof1000s

😭😭😭 aw, poor baby nick

Isak

LITTLE NICK

Des Red

THE BABY BOY

Darren🍂

Omg lil baby nick nelson😭😭

Xalek

Awww baby Nicky is adorable.

Katrina Chavez

Baby nicky!! My heart 🥰😍❤️

Ava

AWWWWWWW💕🥺😭🍂🥰🌈

Abby Louise

😭😭😭😭 baby Nick

Hanna Flick

Dying at the cuteness and sadness of baby Nick 🥺🥺

Ben

Awww. This is so tender.

sage!!

ALICE 😭😭😭😭

Nadia

I love how she draws little Nick <3 He looks so heartbroken here 😭😭

lous

😭🥺

Rose

BABY NICK 😭💔

Katrina

Omg my poor baby 😭

Maddy

Was I just stabbed?

Victoria Skye

i shall protect him with my life

Mario Bocanegra

🥺🥺😭😭😭 so sad, poor little Nick

EllieRLM

Aaaww poor baby Nick 🥺

Leah Della Croce

Nicholas my beloved. My parents were both in my life but I forced myself to mask so they wouldn't worry about me since my other siblings took up the majority of their attention

emanu

oh no :(

Rachel Aker

Oof. Right in the gut with that last bit.

ferah

NOT SARAH CLOCKING NICKS TEA MAN its so needed though. its one thing to hear it from your friends, but sometimes, even if you dont realize it, you need to hear it from your parent, because it means they really do understand you, and that you can trust them with the hard things. well done Sarah!

Jmejimz

Omg Alice you’re killlingggggg me 😭 sweet Nick 💔

Alex Cross

Omg, poor sweet baby Nick!

Molly Goat

I'm tearing up 😥 lil Nick, buddy

Audrina

*in Olivia Colman voice* oh baby 🥺

Chloe ♡

‘he would give you the love and attention you deserved’ and he still never got it ☹️

ACxo

Learning more about how Stephane treated Nick makes me want to punch a fictional character (Stephane obv) sm

Lisoodle

this makes so much sense as to why Nick shuts himself off to Charlie, to force himself to be the perfect son (which manifests in him later being the perfect friend, rugby captain, boyfriend, etc)….our poor Nicholas I want to give him a hug 😭

alexis rae

My heart I just cried reading this! 💔😢 The feeling of being good enough to earn someone's love!

Zakuro

🥺🥺

Lili !

OHHHH… MYYY GOODDDD.

ellen de Ruiter

Aaah Nick 😭 But also 1800 whoehoe go Alice. Amazing! Congratulations ♥️

Anne Marie

Oh Alice is fucking COMING for me. 😭 oh Nick. I know you. I know you.

Femke

My sweet baby Nicholas 🥹🥲😭

JRob

Damnit! Baby Nicky, you're perfect just the way you are, don't let that selfish prick make you feel less than the amazing kid you are.

Lili !

Im not crying. Im not crying. Im okay.

soph

alice this has broken me (in a good way pls don’t stop)

zara ahmed !!

david still does this for his dad 😬 and nick does this for everyone else 🤕

Claire

OUCH 😭💔

lexi

a childhood of masking leading to an adulthood of being emotionally inarticulate??? yikes felt that one

Anne Marie
>>172482312

His mom has known him longer than anyone else. It had to be her. I love this scene already. It’s so hard but I love it.

ACxo

Stephane never deserved Nick and this proves it 😭

camryn

aw man trauma go brr :( poor baby nick

Maddy

WE KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE BAD BUT THIS IS JUST PAINFUL 😭😭😭

Harriet Echo

Oh this is absolutely heartbreaking 💔 😭😭😭 Nicky’s little face, and his hair. Beautiful tragic page Alice 😭😭😭

Lauren

Awww, poor baby Nicholas 🥹💔 So glad Sarah is there! ( c'mon Olivia!! )

na

baby nick😭😭😭

Katie🐝

Wahhhhh poor baby nicky 🥺

Makayla Walke

Baby nickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk😭

emmaeatsglitter

oh my god okay the knife has been twisted

Daya

Oh my goodness it’s to early to cry…🥺

Stef

Ohhh 🥹🥹

Wildallie

Omg this is so triggering to me. Reminds me of myself

MJ

Omg, he is so precious!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 So glad we get a peek into Nick's history ❤️ My heart breaks for him AND Sarah having to go through that

Angie Michaelis

Okay, but this is heartbreaking. 💔🥺 Sweet baby Nick. And that must have been so rough for Sarah too, the parent who actually gave him the love and attention he deserved. 😭

soph

i can’t stop looking at little nick he’s so tiny and adorable i wanna put him in my pocket and keep him safe BC HE DESERVES ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Jess H

I have a 7 yo who does this exact thing for his dad 😢

Claudia

💔💔

Jonathan Payne

Oh, Nicky, I did the same thing when my dad left. It took me over 40 years to realize I was worth so much that I didn’t need to impress him or earn his time or love at all, because I’m valuable just the way I am. And so are you!🥰

nicola

Oh crikey 🥺

Liz

Oh Nick 😭

aubrey

alice, you didn’t even kiss the brick before throwing it at us 😭😭

Juliana Barhorst

Currently excused myself cause I’m bawling!! 😭 He’s just a baebyyyyyy!!!

Amanda Wetterer

This is so sad…. But Tiny Nick is so cute!

Itzmabs

It's official, I'm crying 😭😭 poor baby Nick 🥺🥺

Maddy

COUNT. YOUR. FUCKING. DAYS. STÉPHANE.

CinD

He styled his hair like his father? 👀 I’m sensing a new Nick Nelson hair style in the future 🙂‍↕️ (and hopefully in the movie too!)

Ashlett

I can’t handle this 🫠

Eli

this got me so bad😭 poor nick

Elena

My heart aches for Nick 😨😢💔

boombroadcast

Baby Nick. 😔 Stephane is the absolute worst and never deserved him. (Or Sarah I am sure!) But also, “You’d stand at the window and watch the driveway for hours to wait for him”… Nick still has plenty of healing to do (as we all know!), but at least he’s put some healthy distance between himself and Stephane. Meanwhile 21 year old David is literally still doing this at Christmas. 🫠

.

oh this is devastating

The Sarah E

baby niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick🥹

Miah🎀

Ohh my baby 😭😭😭😭

Katy

Oh my god my sweet baby Nick💔😭

Katie

😭😭😭😭

Märta Birkner
>>172482890

It's so sad to see the parallel with David still doing that on Christmas. The trauma affected him completely differently but they both suffered from the same shitty father.

Shin__

BABY NICK 😭

Lusi

😭😭😭 (((((Nicky))))) 😭😭😭 Just wanna hug him! The young Nicky as well as the present Nicky 😭🥺🥰

Jacqui Chesterton

Oh Alice why do you have to break my heart like this 💔 I have a little brother Nick who is the youngest in our family, and he used to wait at the window like this for the rest of us to get home from school 😭

Katie

Can’t imagine how horrible that was for Sarah to watch

hollie

look at the little BABY 🥹

Fey 🍂

Nick 😭😭😭 He thinks that if he’s not the perfect boyfriend, Charlie’s gonna leave him 😭😭😭

Kath Sharpham

Oh Alice. This is so beautiful. Poor Baby Nick and Sarah. Sarah is just wonderful.

Ellen🌈✨

woooo, page 1800, another milestone 🎉 👏 thanks for making us all cry 🥹🥲

Nikki

Oh Lordy I wasn’t expecting a flash back 🥺 I feel like Nick is going to be surprised that his Mum saw through what he was doing from the very start, probably before Nick even realised what he was doing to try and please undeserving Stephane. I really hope Sarah is the one to drive it home to him that he is enough. Full stop.

Miah🎀

Oh 😭 put it in my pocket right now

Märta Birkner
>>172482575

My heart breaks for him. It must be incredibly difficult to stand by as a mother and be unable to fully protect them 💔

Laura

No! My pure baby! ❤️ I know exactly what it feels like. My dad left my life when I was 8. he died when I was 16. My mom gave me to my Granny at the age of 10 and only got back into my life when my Granny died when I was 15. This urge that you have to be perfect gets huge and unbearable. You think that if you are perfect, they will stay. But if they want to leave, they will.

JennyB

Oh our sweet baby nick 😢

Märta Birkner
>>172482513

And I know we don't like him but David did too. This gave me flashbacks to the Christmas episode and David waiting for his dad at the door, the dinner episode where he tries to stand up for bis father by saying how amazing his world is.... He's a jerk but David did suffer through very similar trauma as baby Nick

Laura
>>172483287

Before someone worries about me. I’m 28 now. I’m happily married and I have the best friends I could wish for.

Laura Humber

My little boy is 8 and this just breaks my heart to think about, Nick's little face 😢 Sarah is such a wonderful mum and is always there with mountains of love to share, parenting two boys solo! She rocks!!!

Katha

Parents who are able to speak honestly and on equal levels with their kids ❤️ thanks for this, Alice!

Marie

oof

GirlHero

💔 nicholas nelson, you are enough! shame on stephane for failing you.

DianaD

My heart just sorta cracked.

Märta Birkner
>>172482428

He never deserved Sarah or even David either. He is a bad father and inconsiderate person.

Jen

Oh wow. I mean I knew this was where we were headed, but I think Sarah laying it bare is going to really shake him. It's so wild the ways in which our brain will attempt to protect us from the most painful truths. Despite the fact that Nick clearly knows now that Stephane doesn't deserve his time and affection sadly can't immediately undo an entire childhood constructed around this false hope of being noticed. It's heartbreaking and will take some time for Nick to work through, but this is such an important first step. 🥹

Steph

Baby Nick is drawn so perfectly. You can see the youthful innocence but still captures the essence of Nick. Your skills never cease to amaze me Alice!!

Beam Bugge

a parent that makes you feel like you have to put in an effort to earn their love is not worth any effort at all

David C Witkin

Oh, Nicky.... My heart is just breaking for you. Your inner child is still so sad, and has been so alone for so long. It's time to let the little boy inside you get a little mad at his Dad, and let himself cry for the love he never got from his Dad and from David, and forgive himself for not being perfect, and relieve himself of such heavy burdens in order to be happy..

Elisabeth Setzler

Aw geez… this scene… with Olivia and Kit…. Aw man… how are we gonna handle that!?

Maddy

Happy 1800 pages Alice *She says through her sobbing*

Neenie

Alexa play “tolerate it” by Taylor Swift

Tina

god baby nick will always break me

sam✨️

he's so precious i can't believe that man didn't do EVERYTHING to be in his life 😭

Neenie
>>172483906

Alice, if you don’t use this song in the movie, I promise I will make an edit to it.

artxsta

oh baby nick :( and now i’m thinking abt the dear diary mini comic & him just going thru the motions w his friends in school, but not being true to himself or his values or trying to figure out who he is, so that they’d accept him. he never wanted to cause any trouble. also thinking of the page of him crying when his dad left & stephane saying he wouldn’t come back if nick continued to cry. thinking of nick repressing himself until he met charlie at 16. and w this page, we get a deeper sense of the origin of his people pleasing tendencies… waiting for his dad to show up, to come back, to accept him, to LOVE him. honestly, this is a really important page for the 1800 milestone, it offers so much clarity regarding nick’s character. like ya, we’ve been knew that he had daddy issues but seeing it visualized is just so gut-wrenching. great page as always, alice.

Tina

also young(er) sarah 🥹🥹

Maddy

I need to know how many of us just immediately bursted out into tears when seeing tiny Nick. 😭

alae

sobbing

Nyssa Rawther 🍉

Omg the expression on baby Nick's face is so heartbreaking...🥺🥺🥺

Beam Bugge

gays, grab your torches and pitchforks, there's a demon we need to destroy

JRob

Really happy I stayed in the car at practice today, the other parents don't have to see me 😭

Martina Magnusson

Oh gosh 😭 I've actually just had to reach out to my "dad" who Ive seen and been in contact with once over the last 27 years, asking for a blood sample the doctors need for researching a condition they think I have that they've only seen in about 150 cases WORLDWIDE. Kinda sucks being in this position, needing his "help" 👎 Wish me luck.

Marina

LITTLE NICKY WITH THOSE DARK OLIVES AS EYES

Marina
>>172483667

Well, he was just a year ago still trying to "catch his attention", he is just a teen! My poor kid

Larisa

Oh, no 🥺🥺🥺🥺 💔💔💔💔💔

Marina

This hurted all of us more than we expected with the tiny baby Nicky 💀

HLMac88

Oh my heart, little boy Nick. Ugh Stephane I have some choice words for that man…

Cliff

It’s interesting because in the comic, unlike in the show, Nick seems happy to plan to do something with his father that would include Charlie. How much do you want to bet that it actually happened? Poor Nick, he was probably stood up again. So in the comic, this is where he might have to finally give up on his father, and that realization could be extremely painful. Could I stand to see it? It’s so strange how much I look forward to seeing something that might give me an emotional kick to the ribs.

Elfi

I'm crying. This page hurts so much! 😭 As a parent myself I can imagine how much this must've hurt Sarah, watching Nick doing all this for Stephane, trying so desperately to get his love and attention and then Stephane being the way he is. 😭

Marina

Alice always giving warnings throughouh her whole story, but not warning this 💀💀💀

emily

oh i’m crying :((((

Page Clark

You got me this time. I know that feeling well. Did the same thing and he never came back. I'm a puddle. 😭

Deborah Gordon

Oh my heart. Love Sarah here, but ooof. Baby Nick is breaking my heart.

Oliver

OKAYYY THIS IS LORE THIS IS EXPLANATION LETS GOOO

Melanie

Is anyone else's mind constantly blown over Alice's mastery of this story? 🤯 I know for me, on first meeting of Nick Nelson, I just saw your typical rugby lad, good at sports and with a group of friends. Alice has been slowly peeling the layers of Nick back, and now in hindsight all the things we've learned about Nick over all these volumes makes so much sense now. Nick was never really the perfect golden retriever boyfriend. He's flawed like everyone else. And now he's got to learn how to heal so that his insecurities and trauma don't drive away the love of his life. (I don't really think Charlie is going anywhere BUT could see at some point, without Nick dealing with all this, that the relationship could really suffer).

els

we’re actually looking through a window into nicks life 😭 obviously we’ve always known nick has struggled as a result of his father’s absence but these real glimpses are just so gut wrenching. nick continues to be one of my favourite character developments of all time. it makes me happy that nick is having the opportunity to process this despite how painful it might be. i think these revelations will actually become a source of strength for nick!

Katie

This mixed with little nick’s letter about his best friend is just heartbreaking 💔

moon

his😭big😭eyes😭staring😭out😭the😭window😭

Beam Bugge

a concerning amount of people seem to relate to this storyline... ARE Y'ALL OKAY? (actually don't answer that i already know the answer is no) anyway remember what show!nick said: "family is people that actually give a shit" found family is just as valid as biological family everyone deserves to have a family that loves them

RocknVaughn

Oh my gosh....that poor, poor baby, trying SO HARD to be perfect for Stéphane...and it was never good enough, because Stéphane didn't CARE enough. It was never Nick's fault, but his trauma taught him that he had to be perfect to deserve love. 😭😭😭

Sam A 🍎

I want to fight Stephane.

Sulagna Maitra

Remember when Nick stood up to his bully big brother and tone deaf Dad at the dinner? 😍 Proud of our Nick!! WELL DONE SARAH!! for letting Nick know that HE IS ENOUGH !! And I can't wait to see if Charlie reinforces this message too!!! I really hope he does!! ❤️

Ariel

Awwwww baby Nick💕🥺 Also - congrats on 1800 pages Alice!! 🎉🍂

Galen Longstreth

I have learned so much about myself from Alice's books - I can feel myself on the brink of new understandings. I masked SO hard as a kid . . . NICK! We love you and want you to be your whole self.

gaynpc03

Whang straight through Nick’s armour there….

Maggie

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

Elena

I love this storyline, because it gets so deep and we can witness, where all their behaviours and thoughts come from❣️

Ai Bui

My heart breaks for Nick, but also for Sarah. God, what a painful thing to witness your child lose hope and turn that disappointment inward. Realistically, her only options were: making empty promises on behalf of Stephane, knowing he’ll break them like he did their hearts; or, persuading her children that their father will never care for them the way they deserve, which could very well be interpreted as bad-mouthing the other parent to kids yet to understand nuances. ❤️‍🩹

Dani

Brb I’m gonna go sob uncontrollably

Dean Horn

🥺 Awww baby Nick. I love that Sarah is so gently reminding him of that. Hopefully she can help him see that it’s affecting his relationship with Charlie. That he doesn’t need to be the perfect boyfriend and he can tell Charlie anything.

JRob
>>172484135

But we're not coming home Till he's dead Good and dead Kill the Beast!

Marina

I feel curious bc in the beginning of the volume i did not expect the story going this way, and in general, i did not think we would see this part of nick's or just this even happening at some point of his life. Maybe Alice created it for this volume, it is how it is, i am surprised

AshleyRyan

Omg I can relate 😭😭 💔❤️‍🩹

AshleyRyan
>>172486163

Omg yes. I wish this content was around when I was a lot younger. Better late than never but I am so glad it's around for younger people now to enjoy and benefit from 💗

Marina

ALICE HOW DARE YOU

Audrina

from one French person to another I think imma have beef with Stéphane for real

April

Oh my goodness Baby Nick is so freaking adorable!

Briars-Lilies

I have been waiting for this, I've had a feeling for awhile that there was some deep inner feelings. I'm very happy these are being addressed.

Anna Deligio

This is the much-needed conversation. Thank you. ❤️

Theaterboi27

Oh, what a gut punch! Young Nick so innocent and sweet. What father could ever resist those eyes, that face, his unconditional love. But Charlie does love you unconditionally as well, Nick. Listen to your mum. Let go of your deadbeat father. Nothing was your fault. Not all parents are Sarah. You won the lottery with her. ❤️

Monika Davis

Oh my, an important conversation for sure.

Justin S.

Baby Nick! <3 I love how she uses the word mask, because that is what he's been doing, deeply rooted. I do appreciate the depth of this, even though it's been tough to experience, that Nick get his own journey of mental health, etc. I love him sm and want him to be okay!

Ami

If only Nick knew then that he would find this once in a lifetime love with someone who thinks he’s enough just for simply being who he is ….. someone who doesn’t use love as something to withhold because he made a mistake……After seeing little Nick strive for perfection with his father thinking that he needed to earn his love and support it makes the moments between them post argument so beautiful.. Charlie without knowing it gave Nick the demonstration of a selfless type of love ….one that feels foreign to Nick. He answered his text message with an I love you and didn’t leave him on read, he showed up to his rugby match because he knew Nick really wanted him there (essentially needed him there) and lastly gave him a kiss knowing things aren’t well between them but just the physical reassurance of I’m not going anywhere even if you aren’t perfect all the time…. Ughhh it’s all just such beautiful storytelling which feels so important in a time like the one we are currently living

Rico

This hurt my heart. I was the same way when I met my biological father at 12

Evergreen
>>172486843

Phew my mom was in this exact situation when I was a kid, and it was such a relief to both of us when she realized I was old enough that she could finally tell me that my dad was simply too immature and self-absorbed to be counted on - and that it had nothing to do with me.

Puppies&Kittens
>>172486999

Honestly when you look back at Nick’s behavior from the beginning of volume 1, this makes a lot of sense IMO.

Lainey

Aww little Nick🥺🥺 Happy page 1800!!!

oddtree

Little nick is so precious! 💔🥺

PO

This hurts so bad ☹️ Oh Nick 😭😭😭

Maddy

I love how Alice is probably snoring away while we're all crashing out 😭

Silvia Guimarães

Now THIS TIME she’s really killing me, guys 😭😭😭

TT
>>172482666

Thank you for this. I’ve been sitting here, bawling my eyes out for several minutes straight, and this made me laugh. I needed it! Oh, my heart!! 💔

Jo S

Seeing Nick like this is devastating and it’s a really difficult story line. Having read through the comments I just want to say that I am really sad and sorry that so many of us relate to this. 😭 I hope everyone affected now has someone in their life like Charlie who will love, support and realise what a wonderful person you are . And to all the parents who were there for their children, thank you ☺️ 🩷

Carlie Hunt

I'll never be able to put into words what this sweet boy means to me and how healing he has been. But all I can say is this absolutely broke my heart Nick is more then enough and I'm glad we get to explore this part of his mental health and hopefully see him heal soon ❤️❤️

Marina

Baby Nicky ⚫️-⚫️

Astrid H.

Stéphane is the kind of father whose love is conditional to his son's behavior. A parent's love should be unconditional. No matter what. Little Nick's look breaks my heart, and Sarah's concerned look is just as hard to see. I am so sad for Nick 😭

Brandon Ford

Wow, Alice… just reduce my entire childhood to one panel lol. This one panel retroactively explains every action Nick has ever taken that didn’t make sense. Why he’s such a people pleaser. Why he couldn’t come out to his friends. Why he has to be such a good boyfriend it’s actually sickening sometimes. He does not want to fail and he does not want to be rejected. He was rejected by his father (and brother) and put up this wall so no one else could hurt him that bad, but he compensates by prioritizing everyone’s feelings before his own. Sarah is cruising right now… now just land this plane.

Brandon Ford

Seeing Nick stare out the window is giving real “golden retriever waiting for master to come home” vibes. His affinity for dogs suddenly is so clear… he is one.

Pr3ci0us

Heart wrenching but so glad they're having this conversation. I hope nick sees that he doesn’t have to be perfect for anyone

Eileen

1800 pages, congrats!!

Josh

Ok, Alice, my only question is, will we get Olivia Coleman for the film adaptation?

Corinne Muccilli

Oh my, Nick! And Sarah seeing it *all*. 🫂

Dani
>>172485727

I totally relate to it… it’s kinda scary and pointing out stuff I didn’t even realized!

Mira

i knew this was coming but god it hurts :((( 💔

Paola✨

Oh my baby Nick 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

JRob
>>172494063

Really?! I was almost recovered from the initial 💔 and you have to go & say that?! 😭

Neenie

Wait by the door like I'm just a kid / Use my best colours for your portrait

Neenie

The absolute audacity of posting this on my dad's birthday when he didn't return my call /hj

Neenie

Quick, go back in time and get young Kit Connor from Get Santa! to play young Nick. He did "eternally disappointed by fathers" way too well for such a baby.

Neenie

Tiny Nick before his Divorce Dog Nellie! So glad he has both Nellie and Henry now

Neenie

IDK if it would fit in canon, but I bet Tao and Nick could have some good / bad Dad Convos. That one look on Tao's face on the bus to Paris...

Kassie K Wilson

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 There is a little boy inside of Nick who just wants to be able to make everything okay for everyone else and when he can’t, he is not okay about it… 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Kassie K Wilson
>>172496070

Good God I hope so!!! I need more Sarah in my life, but I’d love to see Aunt Diane again too!! 🥰Hayley Atwell did so amazing!

Marina

I did not expect stephane being that bad dad. I thought he was just a bit... absent, but he was gonna fix it. Surprised, and sad, it is like this

ZooKeeperHere

Oh tiny Nick Nelson always seems to break my heart

Calfic
>>172497409

Also this. "No one wanted to play with me as a little kid So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since To make them love me and make it seem effortless"

JoJo

Aww poor nick so glad his having this chat with his mum just needs Charlie to turn up now 💖 thanks Alice for such a lovely page

RCM

An early morning wake up. The excitement of what's to come! Feed Nellie, eat breakfast, (thanks mum!), brush teeth, get dressed. Painting ready? Yes! Best homework grades pulled, ready to show him? Yes! Any minute now...he will be here!! Oh, wait! I FORGOT...my hair! Run to bathroom, grab David's hair gel (smells awful, but, it must work so here we go). Bites lip, looking at mirror, styling till it's just like his. I look like Dad...he's going to love it. And me! Surely he is here now... Runs down steps excitedly...still just Mum in the kitchen. She smiles, and tries to softly tousle my hair...no, Mum! Don't touch it! It looks just like Dad's, don't you think? Stares out window... Mum offers a snack...says I should eat it. Back to window...I see a car...oh, the neighbors. I'll make a list of things to talk to Dad about...top 10 things! and definitely want to talk about rugby. He loves rugby and I love rugby too, just like him. Ok, done! Cannot wait to show him. Back to window...I want to know the exact moment he pulls up so I can open the front door. It's getting kind of dark...I can't see out the window as easily now He...must have gotten hung up at work. I know he works so hard. He is very proud of his work, and...work is good to do, (right?!). He didn't forget, he couldn't have forgotten me...I did all the things, just the way he likes. I didn't even mess up on my painting. It's all just right! No mistakes I was so ready to see him...but, his work is very important, you know... Mum smiles, she seems kind of sad, but she gives me the longest hug...and for some reason, it makes everything feel better.. I bet he will come tomorrow. I am going to get up even earlier so I will be EXTRA ready! (Meanwhile, I see Sarah...watching, observing, not covering for Stephane, but always being there for Nick, knowing that he cannot let himself show any disappointment or sadness, because if he does, that it makes Stephane's absence the painful reality it is and not just a busy work day "oops"...and how do you explain empty promises from a POS dad to a 7 year old who loves him so?! Instead, you pour every ounce of unconditional love you have into your kiddo, and show him everyday that he is ALWAYS enough, exactly as he is...). What a page...what a page.

Bob Scardino

Ah. Nick has daddy issues. I'll say one thing for Julio - he's a decent father.

Elisabeth Setzler

I keep coming back to this page. This is me, except both parents left (separately) and the family that remained wasn’t Sarah. I’m 61 years old and somewhere along the way I learned to love myself. But man, does this hit hard. I know exactly what Nick is feeling. And I know the ache in Sarah’s heart for her son. Gods bless the Sarahs of the world, whether they are blood related or found. I had to find my inner Sarah and love myself so I could love my kids. But I hope everyone finds a Sarah. We all need unconditional love.

Astrid H.
>>172502259

😭 If you think that your love for a child is conditional upon how they act and behave, then don't have a child. Love is priceless. God this page hurts.

Brittney

Aww another heart to heart speech from Sarah Nelson, everyone. It breaks my heart especially for Nick since it hit him the hardest, I think we all do believe in some parts of our lives our parents would stay together forever, but when they split it hurts because apart of yourself goes with it too

Merel

Congratulations on 1800 pages of Heartstopper!! 🥳🍂

Shauna Wing

This panel is heartbreaking !

Diana

Little Nick is so precious.❤ You have to be sick to not love him. Stephane probably had daddy/parent issues, too. Unfortunately those are often inherited from one generation to another. Nick will be the one to break the spell with his future family with Charlie🥲

Diana
>>172505704

This is not meant to excuse Stephanes behaviour. At some point in your adult life you have to take responsibility and take care of your shit. Especially if you decide to have kids.

Maddy

Sometimes people don’t show up the way we hope. It’s not because of you. It’s not because your painting wasn’t perfect or because your hair wasn’t quite right. It’s not because you forgot something. The truth is, sometimes people let us down, even when we’ve done everything right. And that hurts… it’s okay to say it hurts. It’s okay to feel the sting of that disappointment, to sit with the ache for a while. But don’t let someone else’s absence make you question your worth. You were enough before they left. You are enough now. And one day, someone will show up—not because you had to be perfect, but because they see you and choose you, just as you are.

Diana

I'm also hurting for Sarah. She probably waited for years for the right moment to bring this up. And here we go. I wonder how Nick will take it on the next pages...

Evergreen

It’s time for Nick to learn that even though he has been hurt by someone who loved him conditionally, he has also been loved since birth by someone who loved him unconditionally. Time for Nick to remember that he already stated (at that fateful dinner) that he’s done caring about what people who love him conditionally think. Time to break old habits and lean into the kind of love he does care about. Time to recognize that his mother has shown him he’s worthy of unconditional love, and to ask himself if he believes Charlie loves him unconditionally, too. If he does, time to peel away the layers of that mask and relax into love.

Frances

This hits too close to home 🥺💔….. It’s such a good and important page!!!

Sora

This page definitely hits home for me. Trying to get my father’s attention when I was a child was literally exactly like that. Even as an adult it hasn’t gotten better.

Ania W.

I imagine young Sarah head over heels in love with a handsome and gallant man. A beautiful bride. A mother of two boys, radiating with joy. And then a woman whose heart was breaking watching a man she thought was perfect turn out to be an irresponsible, empty man. She hoped that the end of their relationship would not mean the end of his parenthood. Oh Sarah 💔

Ingrid 🍂

My little baby, I love him, but I'm glad that Alice was able to touch that place of vulnerability in Nick, she literally told everyone who said "Nick is perfect" to shut up.

Emily

All right, let me be the first to say it… Ouch

Elena

When Nick and Charlies seperate conversations are over, I imagine them almost running to each other, because they did finally understand so much of themselves and just want to be near to one another. They both feel this intertwindness in every fibre of their bodies. So they run to one another and finally - they are face to face again, they see each other again, so they just hug so tightly - like every Nick Nelson hug must feel like - like the one in S3 Ep. 4 at the end - like, if the world ends tomorrow. 🥺😢❤️‍🩹🫂

JRob

I'm about to bring us all down again, but I can't deal with this thought alone. Baby Nicky wasn't just proving his worthiness to Stephane--he was proving it to Sarah too, not even realizing he didn't have to. He was probably trying even harder with her over the years because he subconsciously feared her leaving too.

laurimini

Oooooffff. I need a minute

toneelspeler

what a beautiful, wistful panel.

Katie H

When a child tries to do everything right to get a parent to notice and love them, and they still don't pay much attention, it can be really tough and hard. Which could explain why Nick tries to be the perfect boyfriend to Charlie so he won't leave him like his dad did, and he doesn't want to show Charlie his emotions because he wants to be perfect. This panel is beautiful but heartbreaking 😢

E

What's the thing sticking up in front of Sarah?

Merel

Oh baby Nick 😢 I'm glad Sarah is so honest about this, Nick really needed to hear it. Especially because he might have suppressed these memories himself.

Noemiette

This page brings two layers of sadness for me. One, for Nick obviously. Seeing that he has been putting masks on since he was quite young, thinking there are conditions he needs to fill to be allowed to receive love and if he doesnt, there are risks of this person leaving. It's easy to see how this all followed him until now his late teen years even if now his dad's attention is something he has stopped seeking. The second sad layer is for David. He is in his 20s, and he still does this. He still does everything to get freaking crumbs from his dad. And aside from that, he doesnt have the same close relationship Nick has with their mom. It's quite easy to understand what created that resentment against Nick, that jealousy. As a French, I'd like to apologize for Stéphane 😅

nicola
>>172516496

Agree it gives us more room for empathy with David as he was older experiencing all this so he will have soaked up more of Stephane’s poor example. I hope we get another hint that he amends his behaviours towards Nick.

ucfnurse

I can relate to that🫢🫂💜❤️‍🩹🫶🏻⭐️🌹🎭🧘‍♂️🪔🫖🍜✌️🕊️☮️

Krystyn

Baby Nick! 🥹 I hope Sarah’s words will help. This page is heartbreaking. And also 1800 pages! Another milestones 🎉

Marina
>>172513291

True, but tbh, Who needed the most an individual conversation, for me, was nick. Charlie was just being kind, patient and supportive, as he always is. He had to wait until Nick said something :/ and he seems to be near to that

Marina

From here, I just wanna give a reminder to all human beings: you do NOT have to become a father If you do not want. It is totally okay. But If you have a child, pay attention to them and take care of them. Love them. At least, pretend. It is not their fault you did not want them, or If the mom wanted them and you did not, just let them know it is not their fault, it is just that you were not ready or you did not want to become a father, but accidentally happened. Otherwise do not procreate. Guys, Talk to your kids, be honest with them, explain things. They deserve honesty 👌

Kristen

Always craving the love and attention from the one who won’t or doesn’t know how to give it! I feel you! 🥺

Astrid H.
>>172528527

I understand you’re encouraging honesty and responsibility, which is important. But sharing with a child that they weren’t wanted—even with good intentions—can be deeply hurtful. Children often internalize that kind of message as something being wrong with **them**. Being a parent means offering love and security, not just honesty. It’s possible to explain difficult things without placing emotional weight on the child.

Mel

oh nicky baby… Also milestone page 1800!!

emily

:((

Lilly Mae

Oof this is relatable. Poor baby Nick 🥺

Marina

This happens a lot, throughout our lives. Sometimes wanting love and attention from people who are not interested in us. Remember my guys, do not let that thing make you feel less

Ali Michelle

😭😭😭 god poor lil nicky

Ali Michelle

i hope this scene is in the movie 😭😭😭

luke

OH ALICE THIS IS SICK

Grace Panosian

It’s fine, I’m definitely not crying

Marina
>>172502297

Thank god my boy Charlie has a supportive and good family!

Marina
>>172483129

I do not think he believes that, how could he think just for a second Charlie could leave him? He knows Charlie loves him to the moon and back! but I guess he is scared of hurting him If he is not good enough, bc for sure he feels Charlie deserves the best.

Sarah

Good to know the fic writers thoroughly clocked little Nick 🫠🥺

Joni

As many comments have already stated, it’s amazing how relatable this is 🥺💔

Roks

This hurts 😢😢🥺🥺

Judi (Loveislove)
>>172513296

Absolutely - although Sarah was bringing the love and support and being there, there is no way Nick wouldn't have feared losing her too. I suspect the Sarah/David relationship is a heaping issue as well. David appears to be an angry person - possibly misdirected at both Sarah and Nick. Sarah may have been overly tolerant of some of David's behaviours in an effort to not further alienate him. Nick may have played peacekeeper in that relationship and buried his own problems from Sarah to some extent to save her worry. All 3 would benefit from group therapy, if willing.

Francis Larrigan

Currently standing looking out the window thinking, if I’m good enough, do everything right and don’t make any mistakes, Alice will up load a new page…😂

Murgy

The core of Nick's people pleasing, the need for his father's love. Which I understand, we want our parent's love, and when it is denied we keep trying to get it. Unfortunately the emotional distance that Stephane had with Nick has reinforced the unhealthy behaviours to try and earn it. Granted, Nick has started to come to terms with his father's shortcomings and is moving away from trying to please him. But Charlie? Nick wants to keep Charlie happy because he loves him, and has Charlie's love. So he is trying to be perfect. But he doesn't need to be perfect to keep Charlie's love. If anything, its causing problems between them.

David C Witkin

I just want to go back in time and give little Nicky a hug.

K Lyn

Oh little Nicky 🥹

determined-donna

FYI this page 1801 needs a full tier tag- it’s missing when you pull up all the full tier pages.