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The Despiser (Patreon)

Published:
2025-02-10 17:09:55
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

This week, Marsh joins us to break down one of the greatest achievements in cinematic history.

Comments

Joshua

I don’t usually watch along with you guys but I’m glad I did this week or else I would’ve never seen a ninety’s computer screen saver turned into a feature length movie.

Markus Nävergård

Noah, do you really mean Fryguys and not the Snifits? the shyguy looking guys that has sorta gasmasks and spitting bullets from Super mario bros 2? Also the whole thing with Purgatory, is that it was made up by catholics when they realised " but i mean Hell is bad, what if there was like a middle place where you washed of your sins and then entred heaven?" this is a Snifit : https://www.mariowiki.com/Snifit This is a fryguy : https://www.mariowiki.com/Fryguy

Markus Nävergård

So wait, the aliens crashing asnd dying on earth and God does not know what to do witht hem implies one of two things. 1. God made the universe but everything aside from earth is just background noice or 2 God only made the earth and has only jurisdiction over it and all that dies on it, so if humans say went and died on mars, they would not go to either,heaven,hell or purgatory.

Kyra

From your comments at the beginning, I guess you don’t know who Joe Bob Briggs is. He’s a movie critic and horror host. His persona is that of an uneducated hick who thinks watching movies inside is fancy. Assuredly, the review is a joke.

Taru Tikkanen

About as terrible as "The Reconciler"

Julie Dawley

Honestly i think this is worse

Denise Huston

Oh my god do you guys not know who Joe Bob Briggs is? I'm feeling ancient and decrepit.

B. King

Yeah, they missed the joke on this one by not knowing who his show.

Markus Nävergård

knowing what i know of Joe Bob Briggs, it must be a joke

Kamaljeet Gill

Extremely here for Marsh's 90's Brit, kid's TV references.

Thomas O'Connell

My head canon is that God made these aliens as immortal and totally forgot that somehow they were weak to "Trees on the planet earth". Thus after they die he panics after they die he tries to hide them in purgatory hoping that satan and angels won't make fun of him for his failure. Basically like a child hiding a broken toy behind a coach or something.

Leslie Marchant

I know who Joe Bob is! But alas, I AM old and decrepit

Chrispy The Viking

I almost thought this was a continuation of The Reconciler lol

WelcomeToFalse

I saw the title and thought, “is this a solo vehicle for a Bibleman villain? I guess Christians haven’t done a cinematic universe, yet…”

David Mcininch

It's funny this podcast was recommended to me as a Joe Bob brigs ish movie humor for Christian movies.

Matt

I know who that is and I’m younger than at least Noah, this is just them not knowing somebody.

Matt

Yeah, I remember watching terrible movies on his show 25ish years ago, this definitely sounded like a joke.

WelcomeToFalse

Mine is that this was made by Christian Scientologists. They prefer to pray the alien volcano ghosts away. Holding two metal rods triggered their gay fear.

Bill Capehart

And I fouind the Drive in Totals! WHOOHOOOO!!!!!!! Forty-nine dead bodies. Five gun battles. Three crash-and-burns. Four motor vehicle chases. One sucker punch. T wo body-transformation scenes. One hydrogen explosion. One Viking funeral. One peasant riot. Flaming church. Flaming car. Upside-down crucifixion. Grotesque insect destruction. Doll-stomping. Gratuitous shipwrecks. Kung Fu. Grenade Fu. Bazooka Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Kit Kirkland, as the beautiful but vexed wife, who says "I want a little stability"; Mike Diesel, as the comic-relief fat friend; Doug Brown, as the fearless World War I vet who leads the assault on the alien tower, saying "We ain't dead, just trapped"; Tara Bilkins, as the rebel mechanic who says "We're God's trashmen sent to right the mess"; Mark Redfield, as the unlikely hero who explains that he has to half kill himself because his wife is "being held prisoner by a bunch of dead guys in purgatory"; Takahashi Kuriyama, as Fumie the warrior, who says "Can't always wait for good weather to fish"; and Philip Cook, the writer/director/producer, for doing things the drive-in way. May the drivein never die!

Bill Capehart

You;'d think he'd appreciate a good diatribe. Joe Bob's one for loonies on the internet, "doing their own research" (For Nightbreed) is still my all-time favorite. I show it to my grad students. (His monolgues and interviews are available if you have a AMC+ subscription on Amazon Prime or on its own it's. Season "16:" Nightbreed. https://www.amazon.com/Last-Drive-Just-Joe-Season/dp/B0DPHKXHL2

Bill Capehart

He';s now on Shudder (AMC+) and his comments and interviews are available without the movies (since Shudder only has limited licensing). This remains my all-time favorite!

Grant Cosper

I’m disappointed in Noah for not knowing who he is, but I don’t think he had Cable

Starshark

ATLAS DRILLS: STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD UP THE EARTH! which... uh... isn't really what drills are for... moving right along...

Starshark

Thinking about Broken Arrow where one minute John Travolta is like, "Hah! You can't hurt nuclear weapons with bullets you moron! They don't work like that," and the next is, "WOULD YOU MIND NOT SHOOTING THE NUCLEAR WEAPON?!?"

Eric Denton

I will accept no Joe Bob Briggs & Darcy The Mail Girl slander!

Tinkerton

I always wanted to be on Knightmare!!! Must watch this movie now 🤦🏻‍♀️

WelcomeToFalse

Heath, if there’s a final fight, you need a robust mayor to pile drive everyone.

sid hirsch

i took psychic damage at the realization that yall don’t know who Joe Bob Briggs is, holy shit

Ethan Heyer

Joe Bob and Darcy are the best!

Ethan Heyer

Joe bob says… check it out. Now Darcy, I’m going to tell you an interesting fact, then ruin it with a dad joke.

Oke518

Does anybody have the score bored for "what's...."

Angela Earle

I WANT TO BE ONE OF GOD’S TRASHMEN!!!!!! I mean, they hate money, right?

Alan

I wish I could give more hearts to this comment, Bill.

Alan

Oh, Joe Bob has a huge new audience over on Shudder. The drive-in is still going strong

Oboewan

Heath, for the pedantry, “All ye, All ye Outs in Free” is the original phrase that we now say as “Olly olly oxen free”. It meant all people who are out may come back in without penalty. Possibly a rough translation from the German “Alle, alle auch sind frei” - meaning “All, All, Also are free”.

Jackson Stoner

Troll dolls were a big Satanic Panic thing for fundies during the 80s/90s. I recommend the book Fourteen Things Witches Hope Parents Never Find Out by David Benoit. It’s absolutely insane! It covers troll dolls, He-Man, D&D, and more with all their nutty fears. That sentence works multiple ways. Edit: Oh! If I remember right, David thinks the little plastic dolls can open children up to ‘schemual’ attacks from demons.

Spamuel

Most ICBMs and SLBMs can have Multiple Independent Reentry Vehicles (MIRVs) each with their own warhead for separate targeting... yes nuclear weapons are one of my special interests >.<

Atomic Squirrel

I did, too. I haven’t seen it in years, but I had a book of his collected reviews.

Markus D

Thank you for this.

Ryan

I have fond memories of his show on The Movie Channel, like... 30 years ago? JFC. He was my first real introduction to anime, though, even before Sci Fi had Saturday Anime. In typical Joe Bob style, he referred to them as "Japanese violent porn cartoons," which, considering he was showing New Dominion Tank Police, overstated both the violence and the porn.

Kate Hadley

I’m not sure how Nimbus could have fought WWI in 1913, given it didn’t start until 1914….

Kevin McGonigle

Not really he’s made a comeback on Shudder

Morris Salisbury

And he damn sure better have no shirt and suspenders!

Chase Chumbley

Listened 3 times and still didn’t follow anything. Granted Im drinking beer and playing video- games but I do this for every show.

No Moore Alabama

Joe Bob is an auteur of movie reviews, specifically B-movie, horror, grindhouse, etc. Most of his reviews are done with both love and a tongue slightly in cheek. Now don't let that fool you. He is highly educated and has a mad love of all things film. He gives respect to creators, actors, and crew all the same. He knows an unreal amount of of detail about the movie he is reviewing (I assume b/c of his own contributions throughout the years), including the histories of the individuals who created the piece. He's been doing this for years, has introduced me to many, many marvelous films, and has a huge following. May the drive-in never die, indeed! Signed, a fellow mutant!