Chapter 17 | Page 2a: Heroes Eat Local (And Regret It) (Patreon)

Captain Heroic swears he didn’t sign up for a life of constant publicity… but Justice Ltd’s new Director of Public Engagement has other plans. Today, Yazmine drags him out for a wholesome #HeroesEatLocal spotlight. What could possibly go wrong?

Well… if you’ve followed Evil Inc for more than five minutes, you already know the answer: everything.

Between accidental innuendo, viral breakfast disasters, and one waitress who hits a little too close to home, today’s video shoot goes sideways in the most Evil Inc way possible.

Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy Page 2 — where brunch becomes a battlefield and even the hashtags aren’t safe. 😏 

Transcript

Captain Heroic: Do I hafta do this??

Yazmine: Since taking over as Justice Ltd’s Director of Public Engagement, I'm showing the world what you heroes have to offer.

Captain Heroic: Tell me about it. I saw yesterday’s video of Phenomenal Lass stopping for breakfast during patrol.

Yazmine: That post went viral!

Captain Heroic: Do you really think #MorningMouthful was popular because of your marketing?!

Phenomenal Lass (in a crash cut scene. She’s standing in front of a street vendor, eating a sausage sandwich): Oopsie! Too much mayo!

Captain Heroic: I would hope today’s video will have a little more dignity than that.

Yazmine (begins recording Cap on her phone’s video camera): Fine.

Yazmine: Let’s focus on #HeroesEatLocal. Tell me again about your favorite waitress who works here. The one that reminds you of your mother.

Hailey (leans into the shot and throws her arms around Cap): Welcome back, Cap! We missed you! Are you having your “usual?”

Captain Heroic (to Yazmine): What… are you doing?

Yazmine: Trying to find a dignified hashtag for “Mommy Issues.”