March Match-Ups: Round One, Part One — The Readers Have Spoken! (Patreon)

The votes are in for the first four match-ups of the Evil Inc March Match-Ups Tournament — the most prestigious, highly scientific, completely serious tournament of the year.

As promised, readers were encouraged to vote using whatever criteria they liked:

Which is the better Evil Inc character

Which character is your personal favorite

Which would win in a fight

Which is the sexier character

Which would come out on top in a “Team-Up”

Or any other completely legitimate and absolutely scientific reasoning.

And the comments did not disappoint. Here are some of the best responses from the Supervillain Edition od Round One.

Miss Match vs Giggler

The battle between fire and funny bones sparked some strong opinions. One voter summed up the tactical problem for Giggler perfectly:

“Fire and grease paint are not a good mix.”

Another reader admitted their reasoning was… complicated:

“Because clowns frighten me and turn me on in equal measure.”

Some voters went purely tactical:

“She brings the heat!”

Others took a more emotional approach:

“I’m a sucker for a red head.”

And one person delivered a surprisingly thoughtful analysis of the clown menace:

“The mistress of mirth can always bring a smile.”

Lightning Lady vs Giant Tess

This one turned into a battle of speed versus size — and readers had plenty to say about both. One reader went straight for physics:

“The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

Another voter made their choice based on raw electricity:

“She’s electric!”

A particularly enthusiastic comment read like it came straight from a comic-book narrator:

“As fast as light itself and a thunderous crash behind her!”

Meanwhile, the Giant Tess supporters made their case loud and proud:

“I love BBW women, need to see lots more of her.”

And one reader pointed out a very practical qualification:

“Giant Tess has survived the horror that is HR.”

Desi vs Tempest

This match-up between Desi and Tempest inspired some strategic thinking. One reader predicted pure cunning:

“Tempest outsmarts Desi.”

Another voter saw a much scrappier path to victory:

“She’ll fight dirty to win!”

A different reader argued that Tempest is more dangerous than she appears:

“This typhoon in a teapot hides an ability that most underestimate.”

Meanwhile, some fans stayed loyal to Evil Inc legacy characters:

“Like Lightning Lady, Desi is a legacy character.”

And sometimes the reasoning was… refreshingly straightforward:

“Red head.”

Catnip vs Captain Scarr

This showdown between cat burglar and pirate captain produced some of the funniest responses. One reader summed up the situation bluntly:

“This one is easy. Catnip would be lost in an epic sea battle.”

Another made their decision based on pirate credentials:

“She’s got the experience of an adventurer!”

Others focused on the visual appeal of piracy:

“What can I say — sexy pirate captains rock!”

And one voter made a surprisingly historical observation:

“A pair of rogues, both with the dictum to outsmart the other.”

But perhaps the most succinct analysis came down to two famous words:

“Huge(r) tracts of land.”

More Match-Ups Coming!

This was just Part One of Round One — and the tournament is already shaping up to be chaotic, passionate, and occasionally extremely horny.

Exactly as intended.

More results (and more reader commentary) are coming soon as the tournament continues.

And remember…

There are no wrong answers.

Only controversial ones. 😈