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🎭 Red Flags (Literally) (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-04 18:00:14
Imported:
2026-03

Content

Dating can be complicated.

There are cultural differences to navigate. Social expectations to respect. Traditions to honor.

And sometimes… there’s the small matter of overwhelming, uncontrollable biological urges.

This poor minotaur is trying his best here. Truly. He wants to be respectful. He understands that the matador’s outfit represents centuries of tradition and artistry.

But unfortunately for him… that little red cape is basically the visual equivalent of ringing the dinner bell in a minotaur’s brain.

So yes — he’s experiencing a bit of a conflict.

Dating is hard.

Dating a minotaur? Even harder.

💬 Which makes me wonder...

What’s the biggest “red flag” you’ve ever ignored on a date?

Files

Comments

Robert McGann

Don't think I've ever had the opportunity to do that. Fourth date was with my future wife. Fifty-one years since that and we're still together. I do keep an eye on where the double-bladed axe is but other than that...

Michael Obert

It's all adrenaline, being it trying to gore a matador in the arena or, uh, sticking something in this sexy matador!

Robert

I'd say she has more distractions than just a red cape.

Caleb Davis

While it's not remarkable, there was one time that I ignored the red flags. 1. She was a single mom. This was my first time dating a single mom. I had been warned that kids were a red flag. But we were being set up by a mutual friend and she vouched for the woman, explaining that the kid was a teenage pregnancy and that she was a whole different person these days, so against my better judgment I said yes. 2. We go out to dinner. She picks the restaurant, while I'm paying the bill. She orders a big meal, but then only takes about three bites and says she's full. This is another red flag. I love to eat, and I don't want to be stuck with somebody who is vegan, or who thinks two grapes and an almond constitutes a meal. Politely, I asked her if there was something wrong with the food or somewhere else she'd rather go. She says "No. I just used to be really overweight, and it took me forever to lose the weight after my pregnancy, so I try to be very responsible about my weight." So she's an anti-eater. This isn't going to work. But then she opens her purse and removes a picture of herself in a bikini and shows it to me. "I keep this picture from when I lost all the weight, so that it inspires me to make good choices." This girl who was already waaaay better looking than I deserved was now showing me a picture of herself wearing almost nothing, and she was even hotter than I had realized. Red Flag 2, ignored. 3. She had been dropped off at the restaurant to meet me, but she needed a ride home. Apparently, she either did not have her own car or she did not have a license. Red Flag 3. But I drive her home with her boxed up food, thinking maybe this was her way to get me to go to her house or something. Get dropped off by a friend because she was meeting a stranger, but say she needed a ride if things were going well. I talked myself out of Red Flag 3, imagining that this was going really well. 4. Her house is in another town 20 miles away. I'm driving to a place where I have no clue where I'm going. I remember Red Flag 4 (never let a date take you alone to a secondary location). Is she going to murder me. Rob me. Make some false accusations about something I had done. What was her plan if I hadn't been able to give her a ride? All of this seemed really fishy, but there wasn't an easy way out of it once it was in motion. So I ignored Red Flag 4. Clearly I'm bigger than her, so I must be safe. 5. On the drive, we lose the radio station after about 10 minutes because we're too far outside of town. I tell her she can adjust the radio to whatever the local station is where she lives. She tells me "Oh I don't listen to music." Red Flag 5. What person wants to spend 30 minutes in a car in complete silence? She's not even really making an effort to make small talk. Just extended uncomfortable silence. I qualify it though. If she's comfortable alone with me in this sort of a situation, then she's definitely bringing me out here with the expectation of sex. 6. We get to her house, and she lives with her parents. Red Flag 6. She wants to invite me in and introduce me to her parents, but I can't stay long because her parents don't allow her to have boys over late. We are both in our late 20s! I'm definitely not getting laid tonight, but I can be privileged to have an uncomfortable conversation with her Dad? I go inside to be polite, and Dad gives me the third degree. You'd think she was 14 and I was a Senior taking her to Prom. I get grilled by this guy for like 20 minutes. As politely as possible, I end up telling him "This was a first date. I don't have any 'intentions' with your daughter. I've got no clue if she'll even want to see me again. I got set up on a blind date and I went. That's pretty much the extent of the story." I understand now that she lacks maturity and that her parents basically treat her like she's 12, and she's fine with that. I should have bailed then. But she chimes in "Of course I'd want to see you again," and I remind myself that she is very hot and I have my own place, so if things go well, privacy is an option elsewhere. 7. Her daughter walks into the room and she hands her daughter the box of leftovers from the restaurant. If finally clicks. She ordered chicken strips and french fries, but barely ate anything, because this dinner was never intended for her. She wanted me to buy dinner for her kid. This entire date was pretend. Red Flag 7 should be enough that I know she's just using me and I bail. But instead, I think, "well, if this sort of thing is a big deal for her, I've definitely got money I can throw around. Maybe she's just not been used to how life as a grown-up works." So I chime in as soon as I see it. "Oh, hey. If you didn't eat just because you wanted to make sure there was something for your daughter, next time I can just buy a couple of pizzas and bring it over for the whole family. We'll have dinner here before we go out." Feed the family. Impress the girlfriend. Come across as a good guy for the Dad. Then take his hot daughter out to a non-dinner date so we have an excuse to stay out later. Perfect plan. On our second date, she came over to my house and then stole all of the cash out of my wallet while I was distracted. The red flags were there. I just ignored them all.

Jim Sharkey

I ignored a lot of red flags in my youth due to thinking with the little head. Fortunately I grew out of that.