Evil Inc Shareholders’ Report: Burgers, Bullheaded Boyfriends, and a Cloudy Forecast (Patreon)

When tofu meets temptation… things get messy fast.

📖 Storyline Update: Tofu Haggis vs. The Golden Arches

Things are heating up in the Evil Inc kitchen.

Lightning Lady is doing her best to be supportive when Angus the Minotaur proudly unveils his latest culinary experiment: Tofu Haggis. Unfortunately, her Project SMILE emotion cloud has other ideas… specifically, cheeseburgers.

And as we’ve learned, when your innermost cravings are floating above your head for everyone to see? There’s no such thing as a polite lie.

Coming up: Dr. Muskiday believes he has a solution to eliminate those pesky emotion clouds once and for all. But this is Dr. Muskiday we’re talking about… so let’s just say: confidence is not high.

🗳️ March Match-Ups: Down to the Wire!

Round Two voting has been tight — and honestly, with matchups like these, how could it not be?

Miss Match vs. Lightning Lady

Desdemona vs. Captain Scarr

Phenomenal Lass vs. Fireworx

Dynasty vs. Cassie Cruz

These are heavyweight bouts, folks.

I’ll be posting the results this weekend — along with some of the funniest, strangest, and most passionately argued comments from voters.

👉 Next week: We enter the Final Fearsome Four. Stakes: higher. Brackets: busted. Feelings: probably hurt.

🔥 Evil Inc After Dark: Thoughts You Can’t Take Back

Meanwhile, over in After Dark…

Iron Dragon has been caught thinking impure thoughts about Catnip — and thanks to Project SMILE, those thoughts are now very much public knowledge.

So naturally, he does what any smooth operator would do: He tries to talk his way out of it.

Unfortunately… his brain refuses to cooperate.

And Desdemona? She’s getting a front-row seat to everything he’s trying desperately to hide.

Read it here on Patreon or enjoy the optimized experience on the EiAD website.

📚 Patreon Spotlight: December Collection

If you’ve been curious about Evil Inc After Dark but aren’t ready to commit to a monthly subscription, the Patreon Collections are your best friend.

The December 2025 Collection is one of the biggest — and it’s stacked:

“Best Of” highlights from earlier in the year

Two Christmas-themed bundles

Four brand-new illustrations

Two bonus eComics from my Spice Rack Comics pals

Two new Evil Inc Erotica stories

Plus all December comics and cartoons

It’s basically a greatest-hits album with bonus tracks.

And if you like what you see? You can always upgrade and unlock the full archive — 1,700+ NSFW posts and counting.

✏️ Draw Me Anything: Cartoonists, Assemble!

Dave Kellett and I joined Jason Chatfield for a Draw Me Anything livestream — and it was exactly as fun (and chaotic) as you’d hope.

If you missed it, you can catch the replay over on Jason’s Substack:👉 https://www.newyorkcartoons.com/t/draw-me-anything

🎁 Patreon Pro Tip: Bonus Rewards

Don’t sleep on the Bonus Rewards tag!

Bonus eComics and tons of extras

No expiration date on most — grab them anytime

Absolute treasure trove buried in the archives

If you like digging for hidden loot, this is your map.

🎪 Upcoming Appearance: Moore College Comics Expo

I’ll be exhibiting at the Moore College Comics Expo in Philadelphia on April 11th! Let me know if you’d like me to have something specific on hand — or if you’d like to order an inked commission in advance!

It’s a small, one-day show — which means lots of great conversations, familiar faces, and hanging out with my fellow National Cartoonists Society pals.

👉 More info: https://moore.edu/events/2026-moore-comics-expo/2026-04-11/

If you’re in the area, swing by and say hi!

📘 From the Sketchbook

That’s it for this week’s report, shareholders.

Remember:If your thoughts are floating above your head…maybe don’t think about 🍈🍈