Evil Inc Shareholders’ Report: No Foolin’ (Patreon)

When Dr. Muskiday finds a solution, you might want to start worrying

Shareholders, brace yourselves… because just when you thought things couldn’t get more awkward at Evil Inc, Dr. Muskiday has come up with a solution to the emotion-cloud crisis. In other words: things are about to get much worse before they get better — and honestly, we’re not even sure about that second part.

Storyline update

Dr. Muskiday has found a potential solution to the emotion clouds hanging over everyone’s heads… but, Catnip sums up the situation pretty well.

Coming up: Dr. Muskiday has a plan to flood the micronanos with raw emotion... but will it work?

March Match-Ups

I’ll be revealing the winners of the Miss Match/Desdemona and Phenomenal Lass/Dynasty match-ups tomorrow. Then, it’s down to the championship bout.

The voter comments have really made this event a blast, and I’ll be sharing those as well.

Ask Me Anything

In the Patreon chat, a reader asked...

“Are there any good April Fools stories from your newspaper days?”

Glad you asked...

During my first full year at The Repository in Canton, Ohio, I started to get excited near the end of March. Jim Hillibish was the city editor, and he and I had become fast friends. With his short stature and full red beard, he presented the full image of a loquacious — if not somewhat lascivious — leprechaun.

“What are we doing for April Fool’s Day?” I asked him.

He mentioned a plan to scramble all of the reporters’ coffee mugs overnight so they’d all have to figure out (a) whose mug they had and (b) who had their mug. He started cackling gleefully.

“No,” I said, “I mean, what are we doing in the paper?”

The laughter stopped.

“Nothing,” he said, looking me directly in the eye. “Nothing.”

Not to be deterred, I pitched a series of ideas that I thought to be excellent pranks we could play on our readers. I had put a lot of thought into this, and I was certain everyone would get a good laugh out of it. Most of them involved running a fabricated news story — sprinkling in a few clues — and then ending the piece by revealing that it was all a gag. April Fools!

Or better yet, we would make the revelation on April second!

I was midway through mapping out one of these machinations when I noticed the blood draining out of Hillibish’s face.

He sat me down.

“A newspaper runs on trust,” he said. “If we lose that, we lose everything.”

I should have known better. I worked the deadline shift, so I saw a nightly ritual of copy editors calling reporters at home to check facts that I would have easily passed off as insignificant.

“Can you verify that?”

“Do you have documentation?”

“Can anybody corroborate this?”

On and on, it went. Every goddamned night. No wonder it was so hard for us to hit our deadlines with all of those worrywart copy editors nitpicking every goddamned story for any little thing that we might not be able to prove as an unimpeachable fact.

I understood it, of course. There were libel laws that applied specifically to putting falsehoods into print. But still… It was one, big, annoying pain in the ass.

Every story.

Every edition.

Every night.

I’d go back to those days in a heartbeat.

Ringo Awards

If you’ve been enjoying Evil Inc, I’d love your help with something big: Nominations are now open for the 2026 ’Ringo Awards, and reader nominations make all the difference. If the comic has ever made you laugh, please consider nominating Evil Inc for Best Humor Webcomic — it only takes a minute, and your support truly means a lot. You can submit your nomination here: https://go.evil-inc.net/ringo

Sketchbook

So here’s where we stand:

A wildly unsafe scientific solution is on the table…The March Match-Ups are heading toward a dramatic finish…And somewhere in the background, a former newspaper cartoonist is still dreaming of the April Fool’s prank that never was.

In other words: business as usual at Evil Inc.

Thanks for reading, voting, nominating, and being part of this delightfully chaotic corner of the internet.