What started as a “completely serious, highly scientific” tournament quickly turned into one of the most chaotic, insightful, and gloriously unhinged reader-participation events Evil Inc has ever seen.

And in the end…

Miss Match stood alone as the FINAL CHAMPION, edging out Phenomenal Lass in a nail-biter — 52.3% to 47.7%.

Let’s take a look back at the highlights, turning points, and unforgettable moments that got us there.

🎭 Round One: Chaos, Clowns, and Questionable Science

Right out of the gate, readers made one thing clear:They were going to take this very seriously… in the least serious way possible.

We saw:

Miss Match vs. Giggler — where one voter dropped the tactical mic with: “Fire and grease paint are not a good mix.”

Lightning Lady vs. Giant Tess — a clash of physics vs. vibes, culminating in: “Giant Tess has survived the horror that is HR.”

Desi vs. Tempest — strategy met chaos, with arguments ranging from tactical cunning to… “Red head.”

Catnip vs. Captain Scarr — which devolved (correctly) into pirate thirst and a Monty Python reference: “Huge(r) tracts of land.”

Meanwhile, over in the Superhero division, the tone somehow got even more “academic”:

Phenomenal Lass advanced over Amazing Amazon, thanks to arguments like: “The eyes are the window to the soul, but that boob window is the window to the boobs.”

Cassie Cruz handled Knight Walker, proving that middle management is the deadliest superpower: “Management. Fucking terrifying.”

Dynasty licked Miss Starr, devolving into what historians will one day refer to as: “A deeply data-driven analysis of… assets.”

Fireworx topped Yazmine Velour, in a bout that was summed up by one reader nicely: “Three words: Red hot redhead.”

By the end of Round One, one thing was clear:

👉 Reader logic is a spectrum. And it’s all valid.

⚔️ Round Two: The Bloodbath (Emotionally Speaking)

This is where things got tight. REALLY tight.

🔥 Miss Match vs. Lightning Lady

A marquee showdown — fire vs. lightning — and one of the most debated fights in the tournament.

Lightning Lady had strong tactical support……but Miss Match had vibes.

And also this devastatingly honest take:

“Nobody is a Match for this Miss.”

Miss Match advances.

😈 Desdemona vs. Captain Scarr

This became a battle of:

Dark magic vs. piracy

Demonic power vs. sheer audacity

Ultimately, Desi’s supporters rallied behind one unimpeachable argument:

“It’s the tail.”

You can’t argue with science.

💥 Phenomenal Lass vs. Fireworx

A clash of heavy hitters — literally and figuratively.

Fireworx brought experience.Phenomenal Lass brought… whatever it is she brings.

Which, apparently, was enough:

“One word: BOOBS.”

Phenomenal Lass advances.

👑 Dynasty vs. Cassie Cruz

The closest match of the round.

Cassie: ruthless, strategic, terrifying

Dynasty: unstoppable, prolific, and… well-supported

But in the end, Dynasty’s “team-building strategy” carried the day.

🏆 Final Four: Legends Are Made

Now we’re down to killers.

Miss Match vs. Desdemona (52.2% – 47.8%)

A razor-thin victory.

Desi brought:

Hell armies

Possession powers

Chaos energy

Miss Match brought:

Ruthlessness

Adaptability

And one voter’s perfect summary:

“Is anyone truly a Match for this Miss?”

Apparently not.

Phenomenal Lass vs. Dynasty (60.9% – 39.1%)

Not close.

Phenomenal Lass didn’t just win — she dominated.

Her secret weapon?

👉 Total, unshakable obliviousness.

As one voter put it:

“She’s going to win without understanding how, and causing chaos.”

A devastating combo.

🥊 THE CHAMPIONSHIP: Firestarter vs. Chaos Incarnate

Miss Match vs. Phenomenal Lass

This was the perfect final:

Precision vs. unpredictability

Weaponized intent vs. accidental dominance

Someone who knows exactly what she’s doing…vs. someone who absolutely does not — and still wins

And it came down to the wire.

👑 FINAL RESULT

🏆 MISS MATCH — CHAMPION OF 2026

52.3% to 47.7%

A razor-thin victory in a matchup that could’ve gone either way.

💬 Final Thoughts (and Final Verdict)

This tournament delivered everything:

Brilliantly dumb logic

Passionate fanbases

Deep-cut character analysis

And some of the most unhinged “reasoning” ever submitted

But more importantly…

👉 It proved that Evil Inc readers will absolutely show up when given the chance to vote👉 They will justify their decisions with confidence👉 And they will turn even the simplest question into a full-blown debate

😈 And Remember…

I will be taking one of the voter scenarios for the championship bout, and I'll draw a scene based on their suggestion. I'll post it a little later in April!