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edinburgh is a haunted old literary town built into the side of mountains and close enough to the sea to smell it. ergo, it was designed in a sav-lab, to attract me (everything is about me!). the first time i visited i was bowled over by its beauty. i liked the gothic architecture. i enjoyed especially the blood red windows of a former church once called the tolbooth kirk, now called 'the hub', which is a joke of a name for a structure that is so obviously called the tolbooth kirk (another clumsy step towards modernity...edinburgh recently added to their skyline a building which is unanimously thought to look like an enormous shit ("'it’s a happy building,' says its architect.")).

the american in me does feel a kinship with the scottish that i can't place...it's totally useless to flatten an entire people into one temperament...but listen, there's a rough-around-the-edges-ness, maybe?? there's..whatever it does to your personality to be in the casual presence of such dramatic and devastating nature?? (+ this is kind of unrelated but i just thought of it..scene: edinburgh travelodge elevator, on tour in 2022. i got talking to my elevator companion, an old cartilage-thick guy with a mumbly glaswegian accent, and after a polite little exchange he asked me what part of ireland i was from...embarrassed i said oh, no, i'm from the states, ohio...he thought for beat then leaned in and said in a way i interpreted as gravely serious: you ever been to a place called cedar point? it was the funniest thing in the world. i couldn't believe he'd said it. of course i have, i said, of course. he had too, more than once. maybe we were there at the same time, i said. it was ridiculous. i'm laughing again just thinking about it.)

among other pleasantries during my first visit i had a riot of a time getting thrashed at a cèilidh. at a cèilidh there is dancing. it is dancing in the way paint-by-numbers is painting, requiring really very little skill, just a desire to participate (perfect for me, someone completely disconnected from the whims of my body, but very eager to fit in and do a good job). at the end we all sang loch lomond and i was moved.

i just really like the city. walkable. moody. pubs everywhere. i was told of a new year's day tradition where people run into the freezing north sea for reasons of rebirth. every august three arts festivals happen simultaneously (i imagine i'll tire of this..but for now..yahoo..). it does seem like a nice place for me to live.

and so that is what i'm going to do! i'm moving next month! ah!!!

to live in edinburgh i must leave london. this is fine. i'm not usually upset to leave anything. i think it's because i need to feel totally certain about a decision to be incited into action, and so in my mind i am already gone. i'm desperate to be closer to literally any nature; i'm feeling antsy; the relationship that was, in a way, keeping me here, has now wholly come to an end (he, whoops, is from a suburb of edinburgh..top post-breakup tip! move to your ex's childhood home); and it's not untrue to say i've been priced out (i would like a bedroom with a door). 

i'd like to reflect properly on my time in london (ten years..) at some point. right now i'm too excited to leave to do that kind of reflection. in a few years maybe that story will available to me. i know that london saved me from my life and gave me a new one.

this information changes your life really very little but i felt compelled to share. maybe it is a relevant addition to the lore...maybe you've been thinking about a change in scenery (you must do it!)...maybe you live in edi and would like to forgive me for being another rotten london import and can recommend me a pub or activity or hike or get a coffee with me if you're particularly pleasant...

i've told myself i must film this next video before i move out so that's coming. hope you're all doing well and speak soon 

sav xo