Midnight Pals: That Fool Olson (Patreon)

Robert E Howard: howdy pardnas, it's me Robert "2 Gun Bob" HowardLovecraft: 2 gun bob!King: 2 Gun Bob!Koontz: it's 2 Gun bob!Poe: 2 gun bob!Barker: how many guns was that? i forgotPoe: it's 2 guns, clivePoe: you know it's 2 gunsPoe: don't be an instigator

Howard: Gather round, hombres! i got a rootin' tootin' tale of two-fisted thrills!Howard: it'll really put the yippee in your yippee ki yay!Howard: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call thisHoward: the tale of what if there was a vampireHoward: IN TEXAS!

King: omg are you saying that this vampireHoward: that's right, pardnaHoward: this vampire is about to MESS WITH TEXAS!

Howard: lookee here, some ornery varmint didn't like my Texas vampire story!Howard: so i'm calling you out, GP OlsonHoward: of Sheldon, Iowa!Howard: y'all ever cross my path and there'll be a new grave up on boot hill!

Lovecraft: [sweats] GP Olson of Sheldon, Iowa?!Howard: that's the varmintLovecraft: not GP Olson of Sheldon, Iowa! Lovecraft: the very name gives me the vapors!Lovecraft: oh god oh god i think i'm going to faintKing: why? what's with this guy?Lovecraft: he's SO annoying

King: who's this you're talking about?Lovecraft: he's just this really annoying fanboy who won't leave me aloneLovecraft: but what would you expect from a degenerate swede?Lovecraft: they're barely even white!

August Derleth: oh boy GP Olson of Sheldon, Iowa? isn't he the worst, howard?Derleth: he's so annoying the way he never leaves you alone!Derleth: and keeps trying to insinuate that you're palsLovecraft:Derleth: not like us, we're pals, right, howard?Lovecraft: [sweats]

Lovecraft: ugh now this GP Olson's written me ANOTHER letter about how vampires work!Lovecraft: he's always sending me letters trying to explain how vampires work!Lovecraft: i'm not some rube who just fell off the turnip truck!Lovecraft: i know how vampires work!

Barker: how do vampires work howardLovecraft: i-iLovecraft: i don't have time for this!Lovecraft: google is free!Bram Stoker: i can explain how vampires workLovecraft: don't you start now too!

Lovecraft: listen to this nonsense!Lovecraft: "and another thing, stop bad-mouthing vampires in your stories! Vampires are SAINTS."Lovecraft: he's accusing me of being prejudiced against vampires?!?Lovecraft:Lovecraft: it's true that they run the banks, tho

Lovecraft: i am not prejudiced against vampires!Lovecraft: i dated one!Lovecraft: right Sonia?Sonia Greene: this is why we broke up

Howard: stand back pardna, i'll put a stop to this!Howard: [shooting letter with his 6 shooter]Barker: yeah this is about as effective as when mary stabs a Polidori letterMary Shelley: that's very fuckin effective, actuallyBarker: how so?Shelley: makes me feel good

Poe: let me see that letter, howardPoe: [reading letter] "every day actually contains 4 simultaneously occurring days"Poe: wait a second i recognize this handwritingPoe: clive, did you write this?Barker: haha did you see how mad howard got

Poe: that's really not cool, clivePoe: as a writer, you should be more sympatheticPoe: have you never gotten really annoying fan letters?Barker: it's still funnyMary Shelley: it's real fuckin funny