Midnight Pals: Lies that Bind (Patreon)

Rae Knowles: we've got a real banger of a story for you tonight April Yates: real banger Knowles: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, we call this the tale of the disaster lesbians Yates: real disasters, these two Yates: possibly the biggest

Knowles: so there's these two lesbians who run a fake seance scam Edward Lee: bro i don't care about any fake seance scam Lee: i just have one question Knowles: ah yes to answer your question, yes they do Yates: A LOT Lee: Lee: bro

Knowles: so these lesbians, let me tell you Knowles: you know lesbian bed death? Lee: yeah Knowles: imagine the opposite of that Lee: Lee: bro Yates: that's what I'm talkin' about!

Knowles: unfortunately these lesbians are having issues in the bedroom Yates: communication issues Knowles: cuz you know women Yates: they just can't ever sit down and talk things out like rational adults

Knowles: and then this mysterious woman comes into their lives Yates: a mysterious woman with a shady past and a hidden agenda Yates: and an irresistibly magnetic sexual power Patricia Highsmith: oh yeah there ain't nothin' like a dame!

Knowles: this mysterious woman claims to be friends w a man who can help the one lesbian with her terrible secret Yates: and that man is aleister crowley Crowley: Yeah! that's me! Crowley: THE GREAT BEAST! Crowley: DO AS THOU WILT! Lee: bro, sit down, i wanna hear about lesbians

Knowles: the women are helpless in the thrall of this predatory lesbian Highsmith: oh that's a shame, that's a real shame Highsmith: you're a real high class dame, ya know Knowles: i Knowles: oh um thank you Highsmith: you're a real swell lady too, real swell Yates: haha oh you

Highsmith: now i wouldn't wanna get between you two ladies Highsmith: not in the emotional sense, that is Highsmith: if you get my drift Knowles: tee hee Yates: ha ha Lee: bro! we were gonna hear about lesbians- Highsmith: back off, Lee, i'm workin' here!

Highsmith: so just what sorta things might these two, uh, fictional ladies you're talkin about be hypothetically into? Knowles: oh you know Knowles: bondage, choking Yates: breathplay, bloodplay, knifeplay Highsmith: uh huh uh huh gotcha Highsmith: and what's your safeword?

Crowley: hey when are we gonna get to the part about me? Crowley: everyone should be asking 'when's the great beast gonna show up?' Highsmith: hey, pal, just cool it on down Highsmith: let the ladies get a little attention, eh? Crowley: Crowley: [sulking] i want attention too

Barker: what's that, aleister? you say you'd like some attention too? Barker: gee i never would have guessed Barker: from that gigantic flaming eye pyramid hat you're wearing Crowley: it's Crowley: It's a cool hat!! Barker: hm it's a little try hard Poe: it kinda is