Midnight Pals: Sssspace Sssstory (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello childrenPoe: oh Joanne!Poe: I'mPoe: IPoe: I really did not expect to see you againRowling: oh really edgar? and why wasss that?Poe: because of that whole Olympics business

Poe: you know with imane khelifPoe: all that stuff you didPoe: we just kinda thoughtPoe: you know we all thoughtPoe: and I don't just mean me i meanBarker: we all thought your lawyer told you to fuckin zip it

Rowling: well well well cliveRowling: assss you should all know by nowRowling: JK Rowling heedssss the wordsss of no goblin lawyer!

Rowling: I ssslither to the beat of my own pungi!Rowling: I'm my own dark lord!Rowling: and nobody'ssss ssssweetheart!Rowling: I'M JK FUCKIN' ROWLING!!!!Poe: so thenPoe: why are you here Joanne?Rowling: i'm here becaussse i have a new ssstory

Barker: a new story?Barker: is it more terf shit?Rowling: it's in ssspace!Barker: the terfs are in space now?Rowling: i didn't sssay it was about terf ssshitBarker: you also aren't denying itRowling:Rowling: sssss

Barker: oh a space story huh?Rowling: i call itRowling: Commander Bibbles Blobkin and the Goofy Galactic GoobygloobBarker:Poe:Koontz:Lovecraft:King:King: well, I love it!!

Barker: i'd like to ask Ursula her opinionRowling: we don't need to get her opinionBarker: hey Ursula what do you think of this?Rowling: we really don't need to asssk herRowling: we already know how she feelsUrsula Le Guin: it stinksRowling: yeah well sssee what i mean?

Rowling: my firssst idea wasss Chrisstmas Pigss in Ssspace

King: what inspired you to do a space story, joanne?Rowling: well, i wassss watching ssstar trek the other dayKing: great show, great showRowling: i didn't care much for itRowling: it had the ssstink of diane duaneRowling: [flicking tongue] i can tassste her!

Rowling: but what i DID likeRowling: wasss how the crew of the ssstarship enterprissse jussst poopsss whereever they want to and then they jussst beam it out into ssspacePoe:King:Lovecraft:Koontz:Barker:

Poe: i don't think that's actually how they do it, joanneRowling: WELLRowling: why wouldn't they???Rowling: i mean, they have the technology!

Rowling: you are all legally obligated to love my new ssstory!Rowling: it'sss a jolly ssspace adventure!Rowling: but maybe that'sssss too ssssophissssticated for you lot here at the midnight ssssocietyRowling: maybe i would find a more receptive audienceRowling: at SSSSPACE COVEN!

Barker: so she went over to Space Coven?Barker: yeah that's gonna be weirdBarker: i don't know how her terf shit will go over with themPoe: yes, sci fi writers are generally very progressive on that issueBarker: no i mean cuz they're all chasersPoe:

Barker: what? you're acting like you all didn't know thisBarker: everyone knows sci fi writers are all chasersPoe: clive you're just saying things nowKing: yeah c'mon, surely not ALL of themKing: i mean, what about Robert Heinlein?Barker: you're seriously asking?

Poe: clive do you know something or are you just making stuff up now?Barker: i'm just saying he's got a vibeBarker: tell me he doesn't