Midnight Pals: Bury Your Gays (Patreon)

Chuck Tingle: hello chums it's me chuck tingle, totally normal guyTingle: tonight i have a totally normal story for youKing: oh boy! a real tingler! i can't wait!King: i bet it's real whacky and off the wall!Tingle: haha not at all chumTingle: it's actually quite normal and restrained

Tingle: this isn't so much a tinglerTingle: as a SPINE tinglerKing: Oh! there it is!King: that signature chuck tingle wit we all know and love!

King: you know, chuck, i used to be considered quite the comedian back in my dayKing: have you ever heard of a little thing called the rock bottom remainders?Tingle: i thought that was a bandKing:King: well it isKing: but dave barry's in it

Tingle: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the gays that got buriedTingle: it's the story of a successful gay Hollywood guyTingle: when the studio demands that he bury his gays, he's faced with a moral dilemmaTingle: will he sell out and bury his gays?Tingle: or will he keep true to his gay vision?

Tingle: as this gay Hollywood guy struggles with his dilemma, he's haunted by the ghosts of his own screen creationsTingle: fear bubbles up from his brain just as a scream bubbles up from his chest

Tingle: we've all had a good time being scaredTingle: but there's nothing scary about... good queer representationTingle: perhaps, chums, horror could be made to be more gayHailey Piper: i have a questionPiper: how MUCH more gay?Piper: cuz i have a suggestion for exactly how much more gay it could be

Piper: could it be possibly gay as fPiper: THE THRILL OF THE HUNT THE SMELL OF THE SHUNTCynthia Pelayo: GODDAMNIT!!Pelayo: EVERY TIME!!!

Tingle: now i hope that we all learned a little something fromGrady Hendrix: [pulling up on a skateboard, boombox playing 'School's Out' by Alice Cooper]Hendrix: [pushing sunglasses down nose] did someone say LEARN???Hendrix: school's for fools!Hendrix: the pool rules!

Hendrix: [flipping skateboard] look at you squares, LEARNING LESSONS from satirical horror!Hendrix: horror satire should be about FUN!Hendrix: check out MY story!Hendrix: The Support Group for People Who Walk Down a Spooky Alleyway and Hear a Scary Noise but it Turns Out it Was a Cat

Hendrix: it's a send-up of the horror trope where someone walks down a spooky alleyway and hears a scary noise but it turns out it was a catBarker: you don't sayPoe: clive

Tingle: now see here chum we don't need your irreverent attitude to have a good time!Hendrix: YOU GOTTA FIGHTHendrix: FOR YOUR RIGHTHendrix: TO PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!

Tingle: hello chums i have a new tingler for you allTingle: pounded in the butt by grady hendrix' flippant attitudeKing: oh good! i love a laugh!Tingle: this isn't comedy, it's sincere eroticaKing:Barker: not gonna lie, this sounds p hot