Midnight Pals: Fandom (Patreon)

Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] BEHOLD! King: the arch magus! Barker: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus! Lovecraft: the arch magus! Koontz: the grand nagus! Poe: no dean Poe: that's not right Poe: that's star trek Moore: and that is exactly what i came to talk to you all about today

Moore: i have come down from the mountain to share the wisdom imparted to me by the cosmos King: guys! the arch magus is going to share some wisdom! King: everyone be quiet, we gotta hear this! Moore: fandom Moore: is crap King: King: oh well i don't care much for that wisdom at all

Moore: your fannish obsessions have blinded you to the truth! Moore: fandom is bad Diane Duane: even star trek? Moore: even star trek! Chuck Wendig: even star wars? Moore: even star wars! Lafcadio Hearn: even anime? Moore: ESPECIALLY anime!

Moore: fools! can you not see how your fannish obsessions choke art & culture? Moore: it will make it so that you throw a halloween party & play an anime theme song playlist bc you believe halloween songs don't exist! King: that seems like an awful specific complaint King: did that happen to you?

Moore: fandom makes you obsessed with cataloging and blinds you to the truths of this world! Moore: so that you feel no shame when you write really really stupid letters asking 'could dr manhattan beat up the flash?' King: now that you bring that up that's a really good question Moore: NO ITS NOT!!!

King: so could dr manhattan beat up the flash? Poe: he could but he'd have to catch him first Lovecraft: yeah but dr manhattan exists in all realities so it would be really easy for him to catch the flash King: UNLESS King: we're in one of the realities where he FAILS to catch the flash Moore: UGH

Moore: first of all, foolish mortals! Moore: THERE IS NO REALITY IN THE MULTIVERSE IN WHICH DR MANHATTAN WOULD FAIL TO CATCH THE FLASH!! Moore: SO SPEAKETH THE ARCH MAGUS! King: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus! Lovecraft: the arch magus! Barker: the arch magus! Koontz: the grand nagus!

Moore: and secondly your obsession has blinded you to the real questions of our times Moore: why ask foolish questions about superheroes Moore: when you could be asking the deep questions of life? Moore: like what if dorothy gale fucked the wizard of oz? Moore: and also the wizard was a very old man

Moore: i mean like really old Moore: since a man hits is sexual peak around, oh, 85-100 Moore: you might not like it but that's just science Moore: so speaketh the