Midnight Pals: D&D (Patreon)

Elon Musk: mama miaMusk: life, itsa seems so emptyMusk: [touching a framed portrait of Stephen King] since my-a best frienda moved away

Musk: i'm-a so depressedMusk: grok, what shoulda i doGrok: [slur]Musk: mama mia, you are righta,grok!Musk: i SHOULD buy Hasbro to secure the rights to dungeons anna dragons!

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the-Elon Musk [rising out of bushes] eyyyy Stephano kingKing: elon? are we still doing this?!King: i'm gone from twitter now!King: i'm finally...King: clean

Musk: maybe you heard i tweeted ima gonna buy hasbroBarker: christ why would we hear thatMusk: eyyy i tweeta it, itsa news!MusK: datsa how da lasangna is made, paisano!

August Derleth: okay welcome to another call of Cthulhu gameDerleth: what are your characters this time?Victor LaValle: i'm sweet sweetbreads, the harlem hustlerBrian Keene: i'm dr. batcountry, the gonzo journalistNick Mamatas: i'm groovio daddy, the freaky deaky beatnikElon Musk: ima da elf paladin!

Derleth: excuse me? i don't think you're part of this groupMusk: eyyy i buy Hasbro, so now ima member of EVERY D&D group!Derleth: this isn't D&D! it's call of Cthulhu!Derleth: its owned by chaosium!Musk:Musk: not for longa!

Musk: i owna all ropleplaying games now, as a conceptMusk: data mean, you hafta let me play!Derleth: ok ok fineDerleth: what's your character?Musk: ima da elfin paladinDerleth: this isn't that kind of game!Musk: mama mia you betta MAKE It datta kind of game or i breaka you face, pedodungeonmaster!

Derleth: guys, look i think we're gonna have to make some changes in the game to accommodate elonDerleth: i know this is unpopular but if we don't he's going to be crying all nightDerleth: he is very rich, after allKeene: oh yeah very richLaValle: very richMamatas: the richestMamatas: like literally, i read he was

Derleth: ok so Cthulhu appears, role for sanity checkElon Musk: da elf paladin, he stabba da Cthulhu with a sword!Derleth: you can't do that!!Derleth: you need at least a boat to stab Cthulhu!Brian Lumley: no wait i like the cut of this elon's gibMusk: oooo disruptiano!

Musk: i stabba da CthulhuDerleth: ok roll to see if you can kill an elder god by stabbingMusk: eyyy i don't need to roll no diceMusk: i buya da game, so i maka da rulesMusk: it works, i win, Cthulhu i killa himMusk: also my character name? issa X.