Midnight Pals: Obelisk (Patreon)

Wyle E. Young: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the big black obelisk Lovecraft: [sweats] a big black obelisk??? Young: that's right Young: made of really weird stone that's so black Young: like blacker than black Lovecraft: is the stone greasy?Lovecraft: oh boy please say the stone is greasy

Young: so there's this little town in Texas Young: and one day this giant mysterious black obelisk appears Young: and it starts to mess with people's minds Robert E. Howard: now hold on there, pard Howard: ya don't mess with Texas!

Young: now this black obelisk is messing up everyone's brains Young: filling them with scenes of gore and violence that never were Young: naturally everyone is pissed that their tax dollars went to building this giant black obelisk that messes with their brains Young: prime example of government pork

Young: so they go to yell at the mayor for approving the construction of a giant black obelisk that messes with people's brains Young: because, look, this sort of thing wouldn't happen if people just paid attention to local politics before a giant black obelisk that messes with your brain just appears on the green

Poe: it sounds like you're speaking from experience Young: don't even get me started on how many times I've woken up to find that the municipal government is diverting funds earmarked for road maintenance and extra library hours to the acquisition and construction of giant black stone obelisks that mess with your mind

Young: so people i am begging you Young: get involved Young: go to your city council meetings Young: write to your congressman Young: educate yourself on the issues Young: before they just put a giant black obelisk in your town

Lovecraft: so how does this giant black obelisk mess with people's minds anyway? Young: well, for one thing, it makes them really racist Lovecraft: Lovecraft: Poe: don't say it howard Barker: he's gonna say it Lovecraft: how is that messing with their minds? Barker: ha ha ha he said it! the absolute madman, he said it!

Young: see, it makes people think they're fighting in the civil war Young: so they're just goring each other all over the place King: wow! sounds like a real UNCIVIL war! Young: King: get it? see, it's a pun on- Barker: jesus christ steve