Midnight Pals: Sorry if i scared you (Patreon)

Mae Murray: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i all this the tale of the girl who gets possessed by her sentient abortionMurray: but don't worry, this abortion just wants to have funMurray: abortions just wannaMurray: they just wannaMurray: abortions just wanna have fun

Murray: so this story is about odieDean Koontz: :)Murray: who is NOT the dog from GarfieldKoontz: :(

Murray: odie has an abortion but it doesn't really takeMurray: instead it possesses her bodyMurray: and makes her danceMurray: and kill her rapistMary Shelley: haha yes… YES!Murray: and also some shitty copsGeorge Romero: haha yes… YES!Romero: ACAB, baby!

Murray: as a real southern queer, odie goes to the big queer club in Little RockMurray: she looks around at all the real southern queers, real salt of the earth folks, not like those fancy pants snob queers you get up in New EnglandKing: hey!King: now hold on a gosh darn second here!

Murray: as a southern queer, odie thinks about how much pride she has as a southern queer but also as a member of the southern queer communityMurray: as a southern queer, you gotta express your pride

King: gosh mae there's some pretty unbelievable stuff happening in this story!Murray: you don't believe a woman could be possessed by a sentient space abortion that leads her to kill her rapist?King: no i meanKing: i didn't know there were queers in the southMurray:Murray: you've never been lower than new Hampshire have youKing: whoa i don't go to new Hampshire!King: i heard there's dragons there

King: but actually i was referring to this bit where armadillos eat a corpseKing: i mean, come on, really?King: i just don't buy it

King: I've seen armadillos and, goshdarnit, those little guys are just too cute to be corpse eatersBarker: what about the possum? you don't object to the possum?King: oh a possum would 100% eat a corpse

Barker: but it's equally cuteKing: it most certainly is notBarker: have you ever even seen a possum clive?King: awful animalsKoontz: i think all animals are goodBarker: hey that's real nice dean

Murray: what do any of you even know about armadillos?Murray: you're all a bunch of high falutin' yankeesMurray: as a real southern queer of the real southMurray: i know armadillos

Murray: i'm real southern pride!Murray: i eat the cheese dip trail and shit E. Fay Jones's Thorncrown Chapel in Eureka Springs!! My daddy was the deliverance banjo boy and my mama was a big pot of okra!!Barker: how mushy was that okra?Murray: SO MUSHY!

Murray: after having completed everything it needed to do, the sentient abortion says "i have to go now. my planet needs me"Murray: that's right, it was from space the whole time!Poe: that raises a lot of questionsMurray: we're not gonna talk about that

Murray: anyway, who's up for a real southern treat?Murray: i brought you all some deep fried chicken innards!Poe:King:Barker:Koontz:Lovecraft:

King: when you say innards, you mean meat right?Murray: um wellMurray: it's technically "meat" in that it was part of an animal

Murray: you know those parts that you usually don't eat, on account of them being too disgusting?Murray: you know, the parts generally considered unfit for human consumption?Murray: that you might feed to a dog that you don't particularly like?Poe:King:Barker:Koontz:Lovecraft:

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?Shelley: i hear you got the forbidden meat?King: mary no!Shelley: i'm not scared of no meat, i'll give it a-Shelley: WHAT THE FUCK IS THATMurray: deep fried bladderShelley: ewwwwwShelley: you deep fry it????

Shelley: that's disgusting, that isShelley: where i come fromShelley: you don't deep fry that shitShelley: you put it in a pie

Murray: oh i got a pie for youMurray: real heads know