Midnight Pals: White Mage (Patreon)

Charles Williams: Submitted for the approval of the midnight pals, I call this the tale of the devil and the ladyWilliams: it's about a woman who gets impregnated by the devil to birth the antichristIra Levin: hey wait a minute

Williams: the whole reason that the concept is scary, you see, is because the devil is realWilliams: ira will back me up on thisLevin: what? no!Levin: don't bring me into this!Levin: i'm not William peter blatty!

Williams: how do i know that the devil is real, you ask?Williams: it's because iWilliams: am a wizardPoe:King:Lovecraft:Koontz:Barker:Barker: oh shit not another onePoe: clive! be nice!

Williams: that's right, i am a wizardAleister Crowley: yes! YES! DO WHAT THOU WILT!! HA HA!Williams: but don't worryWilliams: i'm a good wizardCrowley: what the fuck

Williams: that's rightWilliams: i only practice the whitest of white magicWilliams: in keeping with the dictates of the Anglican churchCrowley: BOO! BOO!Crowley: BOOOOOO!

Williams: i only do magic in service of God almighty, seeCrowley: that's not magic!Crowley: i bet you've never even summoned a demon by eating a big block of hashish and ass fucking a guyWilliams:Williams: [hanging head] no you're rightWilliams: i haven't

Crowley: white magic! that's so stupid!Crowley: why would anyone waste their time with white magic?!Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST!!!!Crowley: [pounding table until it's reduced to splinters] DO WHAT THOU WILT!

Barker: we're just lousy with wizards around hereBarker: half you lot are wizards!Poe: clive don't say that in front of deanKoontz: there's wizards here?!?!

Barker: it's okay dean they're not real wizardsBarker: they can't do magicAleister Crowley: what the hellCrowley: don't tell him that!Barker: oh yeah? give a little spell then, aleisterCrowley:Crowley: iCrowley: i don't feel like it right nowBarker: right

Barker: what kind of stuff do you do anyway?Williams: i cure diseasesWilliams: i exorcise evil spiritsWilliams: i spank comely young ladies on their bottomsEdward Lee: broLee: bro!