Midnight Pals: JK on Aces (Patreon)

[scottish castle] JK Rowling: [in a darkened room, staring into the dying embers in her fireplace] ssso Rowling: finally it comess to thisss Rowling: julia donaldssson Rowling: it wasss alwaysss going to be julia donaldssson

Rowling: how isss it that her power hass sssurpasssed my own JK Rowling's agent: well joanne don't worry, i'm sure we can come back from this Rowling: perhapss i didn't hate the transs hard enough agent: well uh we can agent: that's one possibility agent: but maybe we should consider other theories

Rowling: what if i branched out into hating OTHER groupsss tooagent: well marketing data does indicate that hate is very hot right now agent: its very in agent: which group were you thinking of? Rowling: what about asssexualsss? Rowling: they've had it too good for too long!

Rowling: ooo i hate thesssse assexualssss Rowling: who do they think they are NOT having sssex?? Rowling: they need a whole term for that? Rowling: when i was a kid, we jussst called that being british!

Rowling: if only there wassss sssome kind of corrective action that could be taken againssst asssexuals agent: Rowling: i'm going to give that sssome thought Rowling: i'm sssure i can think of ssomething

agent: are you sure that you want to start beefing with aces? Rowling: i've got a ssslogan already worked out agent: a what agent: you've got a slogan? Rowling: "get this ace outta my face!"agent: agent: oh that's actually kinda catchy agent: dammit joanne you've still got it!

agent: do you think rebranding as the author that hates all sexual minorities is really wise tho? Rowling: why? do you think the acesss might find my casstle on the regissstry of hissstoric placess? agent: no i mean Rowling: do you think i should extend my four foot fence?