Midnight Pals: SIGMA (Patreon)

[at the White House]Donald Trump: so as i was saying we're putting tariffs on the moonTrump: i know people like the moonTrump: it's a beautiful moonTrump: but it's not pulling its weightTrump: it's gotta go

Trump: some people on the radical left are sayingTrump: the tides! what about the tides!Trump: why are you whining about the tides?Trump: i don't take responsibility for the tides

Trump: it's the biggest moon, some say its the best moon-Larry Niven: never fear, mr president! SIGMA is here!narrator: SIGMA is the secret code name for a think tank of costumed science fiction writers dedicated to advising the president on just whatever and stuff

Trump: what's thisLarry Niven: we're SIGMANiven: a think tank of costumed science fiction writers dedicated to advising the president on issues of our expertiseNiven: like if you happen to need advice on how to make a dyson sphereNiven: do you need advice on how to make a dyson sphere by the way?

Niven: since the dawn of time, we've advised every US president on important matters of stateNiven: for obvious security reasons, of course, we must keep our identities secret-Greg Bear: i'm Greg BearNiven:Ben Bova: greg bear just saidNiven: yes i heardBear: I'm Greg BearNiven: Greg could you wait in the hallwayBear: I'm Greg BearNiven: go talk to Don JrDonald Trump Jr: i'm donald trump jrBear: i'm greg bearTrump Jr: i'm donald trump jrBear: i'm greg bear

Niven: as i was sayingNiven: since the dawn of time, we've advised every US presidentNiven: if you need some really wild ideas, just absolutely unhinged crazy ideas that no sane person would ever considerNiven: you come to SIGMATrump: no thanks, i'm coveredTrump: [into intercom] security

Niven: just give us a moment of your time, mr president!Niven: here, let me give you an example of the sort of great idea that SIGMA can provide to youNiven: so you know how healthcare is so expensive?Niven: ok so what ifNiven: what if we spread rumors among the Latino community that hospitals steal your organs, so that they're too scared to seek medical treatment?Niven: eh? eh?Niven: pretty good eh?Trump: you're thinking small, larry

Trump: you're thinking small, larryTrump: way too smallTrump: we're not playing passive necropolitics anymoreTrump: we're playing active necropolitics nowTrump: more and more people are saying itTrump: [on intercom] security we have 3 in here for disappearingTrump: bah bye

Niven: haha you wouldn't disappear usNiven: i mean c'monNiven: we're whiteTrump: oh no we're disappearing white people too nowTrump: it's a whole new grid

Niven: don't worry, Mr President, SIGMA's got plenty of other wild ideas to share!Niven: what if you made robots that could kill protesters?Trump: you're late to the game, larry