Midnight Pals: Elon's Love Life (Patreon)

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of Elon Musk [rising from bushes]: eyyyy stephano king King: oh it's elon King: i thought you were busy with doge Musk: eyyy i'm done witha that Musk: so more time to spenda with my best amigo stephano king! King:

King: are you King: are you sure you don't have more you want to do with doge Poe: steve don't say that King: edgar do not test me King: i swear to god i am at the end of my rope here

Musk: see, i accomplish alla my doge goals Musk: so i choose to leava da government ova my own free will Musk: as you canna see on my shirt that says "i choose to leava da government ova my own free will" King: Koontz: Poe: Lovecraft: Barker: Barker: hey i have a question

Edward Lee: bro Lee: bro you know what your problem is bro Lee: you shouldn't be wasting your time hanging with these losers bro Lee: you need to get laid bro King: that's right listen to edward King: you should not be hanging with us losers

Elon Musk: mama mia ima da elon musk Musk: i impregnate 19 women! Lee: yeah but have you ever been Lee: L A I D Musk: Musk: Musk: Lee: bro Lee: bro you're killing me bro

Lee: bro let me help you bro Lee: show me your game bro Musk: ok Musk: eyyy if you sleepa witha me, i giva you a horse paisano! Lee: bro Lee: bro that's weak Lee: bro that's never gonna work Anne Rice: hold on just a second there Rice: what kind of horse

Musk: mama mia maybe i'm too smart for da sex Musk: maybe i evolve beyonda your base earthly notions ova da sex Musk: now i hava da sex inna da realm ova da mind Musk: you gotta have a really high-a IQ to understand Barker: haha good luck with this one ed Lee: no way bro i can do this

Lee: bro listen getting a chick is easy Lee: you just have to find some girl with absolutely no standards Lee: like someone who would fuck just an absolute worm Musk: lika kate miller? Lee: yeah bro like kate miller Lee: bro that's genius bro! Musk: you heara dat stephano king? Musk: ima da smart!

Stephen Miller: [oozing a thin gray liquid from all pores on his vast egg-shaped head] it's scientifically proven that black people have a special bone that makes them good at crime Elon Musk: mama mia how can i compete witha that

Elon Musk: eeeeyyyy kate miller Kate Miller: elon what could you possibly offer me that my worm-like racist husband can't Musk: i ama also racist Kate Miller: hmm Kate Miller: ok that's a strong opening salvo Kate Miller: keep going

Kate Miller: as a high value white woman, i need to properly invest my womb for the future of the master race Kate Miller: how can i resist a man descended from 5 sister-fucking dutch colonials? Kate Miller: take me now elon Musk: mama mia!!! dats a spicy meatball!!!