Midnight Pals: Get Your Ass to Mars (Patreon)

[space coven]Robert Heinlein: people, i'm afraid that the situation on earth is hopelessHeinlein: elon musk has been ejected from the government and with him dies the dream of a utopian libertarian outpost on Mars free from the tyranny of age of consent lawsHeinlein: it's up to us now gentlemenHeinlein: we are the ones who must get humanity to marsHeinlein: i need answers people

Heinlein: how do we get our intrepid red-blooded space marines to mars before the forces of international communism?HG Wells: wait what was that about age of consent lawsHeinlein: dammit herbert there's no time to argue

Heinlein: i'll tell you how we're gonna get to marsHeinlein: we need a ragtag group of all-american teenagers building a working rocket from junk in their backyardHG Wells: like Joe Dante's 1985 opus The Explorers?Heinlein: Yes!Heinlein: exactly like that!

HG Wells: i'm skeptical that a bunch of kids could build a working spaceshipHeinlein: oh yeah? you don't think american youth has the gumption, is that right, herbert?Heinlein: or should i call youHeinlein: COMRADE???Heinlein: you don't believe we can conquer mars with the raw virility and can-do spirit of america's youth?Heinlein: ray, you know a lot about marsHeinlein: what do YOU thinkRay Bradbury: [thumbing suspenders] now i'm just a simple country writerBradbury: there's nothing so beautiful as the limitless vista of a child's imagination

Bradbury: back on the farm, warm summer night spent gazing at the stars, twinkling in the ether, imagining a world of possibilities, barefoot children playing hopscotch and jacks and cowboys & injuns on a distant world, man and martian, in perfect harmony, look to the effortless love of the children to see the truthBradbury: pepperridge farm remembers

Heinlein: ray, that's not what mars is like at all!Heinlein: we're going to arrive as conquerorsHeinlein: and turn the RED planet into a bastian of free-market capitalismHeinlein: as for any martians, wellHeinlein: we'll just have to destroy the planet to save it

HG Wells: i think maybe we shouldn't rely on random teenagers to build a rocketHeinlein: oh yeah? you got a better idea, pinko?Wells: wellWells: what if weWells: uhhhhWells: what if weWells: what if we invented a metal that was lighter than air

Heinlein: a metal lighter than air?Wells: yeah then you could just float to marsPoe: you're all just reinventing the wheelPoe: just take a balloon to marsPoe: i mean, duhPoe: you can go ANYWHERE in a balloonWells: oh he has a point