Midnight Pals: Vice Shark (Patreon)

Jordan Kurella: [scrimshawing a narwal tusk] ahoy there minnowsDean Koontz: aye aye, cap'n!Kurella: I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUUUUKoontz: AYE AYE, CAP'N!Kurella: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKurella: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, this be the tale of the vice shark

Kurella: tis about a shark that feeds on the milk of human depravity and sinClive Barker: where can one find this sharkKurella: ah interested in getting yer wish granted, eh, landlubber?Barker: what

Kurella: arr, see, if you catch the vice sharkKurella: it be granting ye one (1) wishBarker: what? a wish? okBarker: i meanBarker: that's fine tooBarker: let's hear about this sin and depravity

Jordan Kurella: it lives down at the bottom of the trench, it doesKurella: full five fathom deepKurella: tis no sharkKurella: tis a remorseless wish-granting machine!

Kurella: arr so i was the cap'n of me own shipKurella: spendin' me days sailin' rich party people into international waters for sex partiesKurella: and me nights gettin' drunk in in the forgotten port that he damned call homeKurella: twas the life!

Kurella: wasting away in MargaritavilleKurella: Searchin' for me long lost shaker of saltKurella: Some might say that there's a woman to blameKurella: and there be

Kurella: me old high school crush came to me an' she wanted to find the vice sharkKurella: an arrrr this old salt never could resist the siren call of a comely wenchEdward Lee: oh broLee: broLee: i so feel ya broLee: i'm lways saying that broBarker: when are we gonna get to the depravity shark

Kurella: so ye want to catch the vice shark, do ye?Kurella: i'll need 3 ships and 50 stout menBarker: how about you, William? you were in the navyWilliam Hope Hodgson: i hate the sea and everything in it

Kurella: now me old high school crush, she wished that SHE could be the sharkFranz Kafka: you can do that?Kafka: what if… umKafka: what if you wished you were a cockroach?Kurella: aye the vice shark can do that tooLC von Hessen: what about a wormKurella: aye

Roald Dahl: hee hee could it shrink you really tiny? hee heeKurella: ayeFrank Belknap Long: could it turn you into a half wolf/half fox with angel wings and heterochromia?Kurella: ayeKafka: what about a girlKafka: i mean i just think that would be funnyKafka: ha he right?Kafka: that would be a great joke ha ha right

Kurella: arrrgh jolly roger poopdeck mizzenmast arrrrrgh