Midnight Pals: The Three Rs (Patreon)

Angela Carter: see, the way it works is you take an existing myth or legendKing: uh huhCarter: and then you add the 3 RsCarter: you REimagineCarter: REcontextualizeCarter: and REinventKing: and this works for any myth or legend?Carter: any myth or legend!

Carter: for example, think of little red riding hood King: right, right Carter: and imagine what if the wolf represented patriarchy? King: ok Carter: and the red cloak represented menses? King: um ok Carter: and also red fucked the wolf? Barker: YES

Carter: the important thing, steve, is that this works for any legend King: wow! this opens up so many possibilities! Mary Shelley: this sounds like more john barth bullshit Carter: ah yes john barth has been known to do this Shelley: i don't truck with john barth bullshit

Carter: mary, why are you so hostile to john barth? Mary Shelley: cuz he's a wanky shit Shelley: "oh oh oh look me i'm fucking john barth" Shelley: "ooo wot if we weren't actually people at all, what if we were actually just characters in an internet microfiction series oo" Shelley: real wanky shit

John Barth: ah yes what IF we were all just characters in an internet microfiction series Shelley: jesus h christ Shelley: you see what i mean? Barth: it would raise a lot of questions about causality and free will Shelley: oh fuck off Barth: in fact Barth: one second Barth: [rips massive bong hit]

Dean Koontz: oh! oh! oh! Koontz: i want to do the 3 Rs too! Koontz: i want to recontextualize, reimagine and reinvent something! Carter: what do you want to recontextualize, reimagine and reinvent, dean? Koontz: FRANKENSTEIN! Shelley: you see what you did? Shelley: you fuckin see what you did?

John Wiswell: i'm going to reimagine, recontextualize, and reinvent some greek myths! Wiswell: like, what if they were nice? Wiswell: i just think that would be nice Wiswell: like if the greek gods could just get over all their fussin' and a feudin'

Wiswell: ok so imagine hercules, the hero of ancient glory Wiswell: one day hera makes a real booboo and kills hercules' kids Wiswell: just a real whoopsiedoodle

Wiswell: so there's this whoopsiedoodle and now hercules' kids are dead Barker: i need more context on this whoopsiedoodle Barker: like, what actually happened Wiswell: Barker: like, specifically Wiswell: i Wiswell: i don't want to talk about it with dean here Koontz: what? why? what?

Wiswell: just imagine Wiswell: what if instead of killing monsters Wiswell: hercules was nice to them? Wiswell: like he could hug the nemean lion Wiswell: and tell the stymphalian birds they're valid Wiswell: and pet the hydra Koontz: on every head? Wiswell: on every head, yes, of course

Wiswell: and he could make sure that cerberus stays hydrated Koontz: what's cerberus Wiswell: it's a dog Koontz: whoa!!! Wiswell: well technically its like three dogs Koontz: WHOA!!!! Koontz: THAT'S EVEN BETTER!!!!

Jasmine Mas: i've got a way better hercules story Wiswell: gosh let's hear this one! Mas: hey fam it's me your gal hercules Mas: i was just a normal high school senior at Grecian Urn High Mas: trying to finish my normal greek classes Mas: getting an A in dionysusing and a B in thebesing

Mas: the world of ancient greece is run by these all powerful titans called the spartans Mas: who love pythagoras' theorum and ionic columns Barker: it sounds like you're saying random greek stuff Mas: nuh uh Mas: um er Mas: odyssey democracy euclidian geometry babaghanoush

Mas: but it turns out that i am actually a spartan Mas: cuz i took a blood test and it turns out i uhhh have gyros in my blood Mas: and zeno's paradox in my heart Mas: and uh Mas: uhhh Mas: uhhhhhhhhh Barker: did you run out of greek things