Midnight Pals: Concert (Patreon)

Adam Nevill: so these metalheads are all, like, whoa, if we summon a demon, we'll go down in history as the greatest metal band of all time Stephen King: whoa! what an idea! King: do you think that would work for the rock bottom remainders? Nevill: it's worth a shot Poe: no it's not

King: think about it edgar King: summoning a live demon might just be the boost that we need to win the battle of the bands Barker: i think that's a great idea steve King: see? clive thinks its a great idea Poe: yeah? Poe: and what's the track record on clive's ideas?

Barker: hey i never said my ideas were good Barker: my ideas are FUN King: that's true, edgar King: you gotta admit they're fun Poe: fun for who? Barker: for me, duh

William Peter Blatty: steve! i heard you were going to summon a demon for musical purposes! King: i'm considering it Blatty: don't do it, steve! demons are bad news! Blatty: and i'm not too keen on music in general Blatty: it all seems suspiciously protestant

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Blatty: mary! steve will listen to you- Shelley: yeah, he'd better Shelley: about what? Blatty: tell him not to summon a demon to win the battle of the bands Shelley: Shelley: who're you up against? King: Ronald Malfi and his Rock Avengers Shelley: kick his ass

[at the battle of the bands] King: ok guys we're up next Barker: steve i don't want to put pressure on you Barker: but rock and horror legend glenn danzig is in the audience tonight King: glenn danzig! King: The only Ohmtown rocker to have a record go gold, platinum, and plutonium in one day!

King: this is big! i can't believe the founder of the misfits AND the director of beloved horror anthology verotika is in the audience tonight! [in the audience] Glenn Danzig: kwhat zee how you say predicahmon non? hon hon hon

Ronald Malfi: well well well if it isn't stephen STINK and the rock bottom REJECTS King: [narrowing eyes] malfi Malfi: you might as well give up right now Malfi: we're gonna summon a rock and roll demon LIVE King: what?! no! that was MY bit! Malfi: [throwing devil horns] ROCK AVENGERS RULE!!!!

Reporter: Stephen King's promise to rewrite rock history was prematurely and tragically interrupted last night when Ronald Malfi beat him in summoning a rock and roll demon. Survivors described the destruction as "evil," "spooky," and "wow, bad karma, man."

Shelley: and it smelled just like cleaning fluid and made me wanna like WAX THE FLOOR. So like can someone tell me like, is this concert for real, or it it just another rip off? Barker: I dunno about this, mary, nobody seems to be buying these "I survived the rock bottom remainders" T-shirts