Midnight Pals: On a Boat (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i jussst wanted to sstop by to asssure you Rowling: that i did NOT invite jeffrey epssstein to the world premiere of the monsterss of pottermania sstage sshow extravaganza ssupersshow sspectacular live from the acropolisss in sstereo where available

Rowling: i know there'ss rumorss i invited epssstein to the world premiere of harry potter and the magical bean King: it was deathly hallows Rowling: Rowling: wass it? Rowling: ssorry i can't keep all thiss potter sshit sstraight Rowling: i'm really more of a cormorant sstrike gal these dayss

Rowling: anyway, ressst asssured that i did not invite him to ssee harry potter and the happy tree or whatever King: deathly hallows Rowling: whatever Barker: hey i got a question Rowling: no quesstionss Barker: what about this email that says you DID invite him Rowling: NO QUESSTIONSS

Rowling: look, i never had any contact with jeffrey epsstein Rowling: my pedophile contactss are SSTRICTLY british King: like prince andrew? Rowling: yess exactly Rowling: ssee, you undersstand Rowling: very genteel

Rowling: so in conlussion nothing weird or sshady happened at all Rowling: now if you'll excuse me i need to immediately go wipe 20 yearss of hisstory from my ssuperyacht visiting foreign ports of call and international waterss Rowling: not for any reasson or anything Rowling: jusst for funssies

Barker: hey i got a question about your super yacht Rowling: no quesstionss Barker: and this whole wiping 20 years of history about foreign ports of call and international waters Rowling: I SSAID NO QUESSTIONSS

[on luxury superyacht] Rowling: hey everyone how'ss it going Rowling: don't mind me, jusst sshredding documentss Rowling: you know how it is, they're just ssitting around, taking up sspace Rowling: gotta do some sspring cleaning! Rowling: ha ha ha