Midnight Pals: Corpse Fuckr (Patreon)

Sarah G. Pierce: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the app that lets you find love with a corpsePierce: cuz, as they sayPierce: there's an app for that

Sarah G. Pierce: by investing early in corpse fuckrPierce: the app that pairs living people with corpsesPierce: you two can create synergy in a marketplace environment of limitless opportunityPierce: as you can see from this chart, corpse love was the number one bing search terms in 1997 AND 1998Pierce: if this trend continues…!

Pierce: does anyone have any questions?King:Poe:Koontz:Lovecraft:Barker: i have a questionPierce: does anyone ELSE have any questions?

Pierce: anyone else?Pierce: anyone at all?Poe: i thinkPoe honestlyPoe: we all have the same questionPierce: oh?Poe: i think it's the same one clive hasPierce: oh

Pierce: ok finePierce: cliveBarker: yeah ok soBarker: do people fuck the corpses?Pierce: that is an excellent questionPierce: no people do not fuck the corpsesPierce: there is zero corpse fucking in this storyPierce: and that's a wizard guarantee!

Barker: waitBarker: no corpse fucking?!?Barker: booo!!!Pierce: yeah noPierce: [winking] on screen corpse fuckingBarker: no on screen corpse fucking?Barker: boo!!

Pierce: the reality isPierce: no one has time to fuck the corpsesPierce: because they're too busy having corpse discoursePierce: or, as i call it, discorpseKing: ah ha ha!King: that's pretty goodBarker: BOOO!!King: oh come on clive, that was pretty funnyBarker: no it wasn't!Barker: BOOOO!