Midnight Pals: Cowgirl (Patreon)

Dawn Kurtagich: so as i was saying genderswapped renfieldBram Stoker: no! no! no!Mary Shelley: i dunno, i think i might be into itStoker: no! no!Shelley: yeahShelley: i think i might be into it

Shelley: but you know whatShelley: let's ask the expertsShelley: girl renfield - hot or not?Edward Lee: yeah boi!Patricia Highsmith: wotta dame!Shelley: there you have itStoker: no!Stoker: no i hate this!

Stoker: this is the worst adaptation of dracula ever!Luc Besson: the worst you say?Stoker:Stoker: ok umStoker: maybe not that badEd Lee: see bro that's what dracula needsLee: a sexual punch up!Lee: we need a female lead character that dracula can bang throughout the whole movieStoker: yeah i kinda hate women thoStoker: i feel like they slow action movies down too

Stoker: i hate this dracula adaptationStoker: i bet you don't even put the cowboy in this oneKurtagich: actually quincy morris is in this oneStoker: what!!!!Stoker: i take it all back!Stoker: BEST! DRACULA! EVER!!

Stoker: someone finally put the cowboy in a dracula story!!Stoker: iStoker: waitStoker: is he a cowGIRL nowKurtagich: umKurtagich: he's not NOT a cowgirlFranz Kafka: happy for her

Kurtagich: instead of being a cowboyKurtagich: is now a lesbian copStoker:Stoker: you mean like a pinkerton?Kurtagich: what

George Romero: BOO! ACAB incudes lesbian cops!!Romero: and also pinkertons!Romero: KILL THE PIGSJohn Baltisberger: [swinging truncheon] ere now? wotts all this ere now?

Kurtagich: that's rightKurtagich: quincy morris is a lesbian cop from texasRobert E Howard: TEXAS!!!!???!?!?!?!?!Howard [firing six shooters in the air and hollering incomprehensibly for 10 straight minutes]