Midnight Pals: A Most Dangerous Game (Patreon)

Mr Beast: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the most dangerous gameRichard Connell: hey wait a second

Mr Beast: it's about a contest where desperate people complete insane and dangerous stunts to win a big cash prizeMr Beast: you know what they sayMr Beast: "write what you know"

Mr Beast: the book is about me, Mr Beast, participating in a contest where desperate people complete insane and dangerous stunts to win a big cash prize

Mr Beast: having already conquered the worlds of youtube algorithm manipulation, poison chocolate distribution, spoiled meat distribution, and bum fightsMr Beast: i set my sights on the only remaining challengeMr Beast: writing a book

Barker: you wrote a book?Barker: yeah, right!Barker: who wrote it for real?Mr Beast: ok you got meMr Beast: it was james PattersonBarker: yeah, right!Barker: who really wrote it for real?

Mary Shelley: sup fuckersBarker: mr beast wrote a bookShelley: is it bad?King: to be fair, james Patterson actually wrote itShelley: ohShelley: is it bad?

Barker: it's better than the show, cuz in text you don't see that weird ass grinPoe: oh that is trueBarker: what's this? you're not gonna do a "clive" bit?Poe: noPoe: no i think you're kinda on to something

Mr Beast: i know there's a lot of buzz about how bad my book isMr Beast: but before you judge it, just rememberMr Beast: if you read my book, you might just win a million dollarsKing:Poe:Lovecraft:Barker:Koontz:King: you can do that?

King: is that allowed? you can just pay people to buy your book?Mr Beast: sure! you haven't tried it?King: it was just never really necessaryMr Beast:

Barker: sounds like you're bribing people to read your bookMr Beast: it's not a bribe, it's a super fun contestKoontz: oo! a fun contest? sounds like fun!Barker: hold on, deanBarker: I've seen this kind of scam beforeMr Beast: it's not a scamMr Beast: it's actually a form of gambling

Barker: yeah rightBarker: generally I've foundBarker: when something's fun, they don't pay you to do itBarker: if they're paying you to do it, it's probably workKoontz: oh!Koontz: yeah that makes sense, actually

Mr Beast: c'monMr Beast: why aren't you buying my book?Mr Beast: surely there must be some overlap between readers of long fiction and people who like videos about bum fights?

Mr Beast: who will take the Mr Beast challenge and read my book?Mr Beast: if you win, one million dollars in prize money is yoursMr Beast: if you lose, you have to eat a bug

[at the mr beast compound]Mr Beast: hello james PattersonMr Beast: i want to play a game

Mr Beast: before you, you have all the supplies necessary to write a best-selling bookMr Beast: if you fail, you will be crushed into a flesh cube live via youtubeJames Patterson: i'm pretty confident i can do thisPatterson: i mean, i'm james PattersonPatterson: i wrote 'along came a spider!'Patterson: the thriller, not the nursery rhyme

Mr Beast: the numbers are coming in, jamesMr Beast: it doesn't look goodMr Beast: time to activate the slow-moving crushing wallsPatterson: no! no! give me another chanceMr Beast: i'll be donating your mangled carcass to charity so no one better criticize me for this