Midnight Pals: A New Dad (Patreon)

Lucy Clifford: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the new motherClifford: if kids are naughty, then your mom will abandon youClifford: and a new BAD mom will come for youNeil Gaiman: zounds! Gaiman: a lightning bolt of inspiration! Gaiman: as from the very heavens themselves!Gaiman: quick! Fetch me my big old-timey quill!Gaiman: The mind fishes of my fantasmaquarium are leaping!

Clifford: so you better be good or your parents will disappearStephen King: don’t you worry about that joeJoe Hill: I wasn’t worried, dadKing: because I would NEVER abandon youHill: I know that, dadKing: but it’s also a moot pointKing: because my boy Joe would NEVER be naughtyKing: my boy joe is good as gold!

King: I don’t care who knows itKing: my boy Joe is the BEST sonHill: dad, pleaseKing: I’m so proud of you, JoeHill: dad I haven’t done anythingKing: I mean in generalKing: and you can’t take that away from me!

King: my boy joe is the best!King: I LOVE MY SONJoe Hill: mom, make him stopTabitha King: your father loves you very much joeTabitha King: and so do i!Tabitha King: I LOVE MY SON JOEHill: mommmmm

Stephen King: we just love you so much joeKing: and we’re SO proud of everything you doKing: whatever that might beHill: dad, stopHill: grady Hendrix is watchingGrady Hendrix: [flipping skateboard] har har lookit daddy’s precious little joey

Joe Hill: shut up grady Hendrix, you’re not so smartHendrix: [skeptically pushing down shutter shades] oh no? well if you’re not daddy’s special boy, why don’t you prove it?Hendrix: talk back to your dadHendrix: unless you’re afraid of lucy clifford’s storyHill: I’mHill: I’m not afraidHill:Hill: I just Hill: I just don’t want to