Midnight Pals: Poverty Porn (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello childrenRowling: did you hear?Rowling: people are ssssaying that I wassss the firssst author to write about povertyKing:Poe:Koontz:Lovecraft:Barker: oh are theyPoe: cliveBarker: are they saying that?Poe: cliveBarker:

Rowling: people are ssssaying that I’m the firsssst author to realisssstically deal with poverty in writingBarker: who exactly is saying this joanneRowling: oh you knowRowling: ssssome guy onlineBarker: oh some guy huhPoe: cliveBarker: the great literary thinker some guy huh

Rowling: if you think about itRowling: hass there been an author before me who wrote about poverty?Rowling: I mean without making it look really cool and awesssomeRowling: the previoussss authorsss alwayssss made it sssseem like real funCharles Dickens: Rowling: well I meant the firsssst childrenssss authorRoahl Dahl:Rowling: I meant the firsssst woman childrensss authorBeverly Cleary:Rowling: LOOK why are all of you here anyway

Rowling: I’m jusssst ssssaying that other authorsss make poverty loo funRowling: whereasssss I wrote about it honesssstlyRowling: not assss a quaint affectationRowling: but asssss a natural ssside effect of being Irish

Rowling: anyway the important thing issssRowling: I wrote about how it ssssuckssss being poorRowling: that makessss me a notable first assss a writerRowling: therefore transssss people should all be in campsssRowling: ipssso facto

Rowling: I don’t have time for thissssRowling: I need to move my ssscottish castle before I’m overrum by the transssRowling: ssscotland is no longer ssssafely transssphobic enough for my cassstleRowling: why, a transss could point it out on the hissstoric registry at any moment! Barker: hey maybe you should put it in walesBarker: hahaRowling: maybe I willRowling: wait whatsss sso funnyBarker: or IrelandBarker: haha

Rowling: ssso it sssseemsss the UK’s lesssser memberssss don’t want to do thissss genocide as badly?Rowling: no matterRowling: we don’t need themRowling: the purebloods of England will win thissss fight alone!Rowling: we’ll ssstation genital-fondling beefeaterssss at every border!Rowling: we’ll build a 4 foot fence around the whole of England if we have to!Rowling: Rule Brittannia!