Midnight Pals: Being Droll (Patreon)

Oscar Wilde: ah midnight societyKing: OMG! Oscar wildeKing: guys it’s Oscar wilde!Poe: yes steveKing: they say he’s the wittiest man in the worldWilde: hmm and what is the world but a very big globe with people and other things on itKing: ha ha! Oh man I’m laughing already!

Wilde: there’s only one thing worse than being in a society and that’s not being in oneKing: oh zing! Ha ha! He sure got us there!Wilde: getting us is only half as bad as not gettingKing: ha ha-King:King: wait what

King: do you have a story for us tonight Oscar?Wilde: perhapsWilde: or perhaps a story has us for you tonightKing: ha ha! Oh man the jokes keep coming!Barker: what the fuck, I don’t get itWilde: hmWilde: maybe it’s too droll for you?Barker: oh yeah sure THAT’s the problem, whatever

Wilde: I am the master of drollery and witWilde: for exampleWilde: [draping self over chaise lounge] a bird in a hand is worth two in the bush but who wants a bunch of birdsKing: ah ha ha! Oh man!King: my sides are aching!!Barker: christBarker: this is gonna get real old real fast Oscar Wilde: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the annoying americans who buy a haunted castleBrian Asman: so this haunted castle is for sale?Asman: where is this againAsman: I just need to know forAsman: reasons Wilde: this is the story of the canterville ghostWilde: it will be very droll and wittyBarker: doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be very scary thoPoe: clivePoe: clive come onPoe: it’s got a ghostPoe: just be happy with that

Wilde: so these americans buy an English castleWilde: which has a ghostWilde: but they don’t believe itWilde: because they’re rational modern people who don’t believe in absurd fantasiesWilde: I meanWilde: they’re americans, after all

Wilde: so the americans are Mr and Mrs. John Wayne B. CheeseburgerWilde: with their son Applepie Constitution CheeseburgerWilde: and their daughter Abraham Lincoln CheeseburgerWilde: and their younger twins Purple Mountains and Spacious Skies Cheeseburger Barker: borrrringBarker: talk about how hot butcher boys are againWilde: hmm nothing like a strapping butchers apprentice getting beef blood all over his rippling biceps and broad chest as he handles a steer carcassBarker: YESBarker: now there’s nothing about that image I don’t like