Midnight Pals: what's the deal in the UK (Patreon)

Rowling: hello childrenRowling: I have good newssssRowling: sscotland thought it could get away with being lessss transssphobicRowling: well!Rowling: not on my watch!

Rowling: I’m delighted to ssssay that wessstminsssster issss going to put those filthy ssscotsss their placeRowling: imagine! Getting all uppity like that! Rowling: we’ll sssoon put them back in their place!Rowling: and that place isRowling: under the heel of the king Stephen King: but joanneKing: what ifKing: what if Scotland doesn’t like thatKing: you just gonna Barker: break up the UK over this?Rowling: I would dessstroy 100 UKs if it meant the oppressssion of just ONE transss perssson!

King: I don’t really understand what’s going onKing: so you’re saying that Scotland decided to be less transphobic and England justKing: told them they can’t?Rowling: yessssRowling: you make it ssssound like it’sss ssssomething bad, sssteveRowling: it’ssss actually very very good

King: I still don’t get itRowling: you wouldn’t!Rowling: you americanssss! Alwayssss sssso obsssesssed with your ssssilly ideasss ofRowling: repressssentational governmentRowling: here in England, the king tellssss ussss what to think and we like it!

King: It just seems to me that, you know, the people of Scotland have spoken on this?King: and it seems reallyRowling: don’t worry ssssteveRowling: you’re going to get usssed to the idea of minoritarian rule real fasssstKing:Rowling: we’ve got alliessss acrossssss the pond even now

King: I still don’t get itRowling: sss you wouldn’t sssteveRowling: I wouldn’t expect an American to underssstand the sssubtle beauty of British governance[at the English parliament]Large number of inbred gentry: [clacking Habsburg chins in dismay]

[at the English parliament]Lord Thistlewit Splodge, MP for North Wankingshire: I say I say I say!!! Scotland thinks it can self-determine?  Egad!Lord Winston Hefferbottom, MP for West Hemmingwedge: Motion to fuck around!Lord Skeffington Hooblebooble, MP for East Hinkleswitch: Second!Lord Nigel Dinglehopper, MP for South Slurrysham: [hurumphing through dundrearies]

Rowling: look at what the transsss made ussss doRowling: with their ssssilly demandssss not to be killed!Rowling: they made ussss break up the UK!Rowling: if they loved your country you’d jussst conveniently disssappear

King: edward, you’re BritishKing: explain what’s going onEdward Gorey: I say, old bean, I’m not BritishKing:Gorey:King:Gorey:Gorey: we’ve been over this before